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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?      Home login  
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 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 26
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Yes, there are a lot of the same faces on dating sites. Many of them are abandoned profiles. Dating sites don't take down abandoned profiles, because they help to keep the database as large as possible, making it look like there are more people than there really are.

However, on a site like this, there are always new people trickling in also.
 morta1ez
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 27
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/2/2018 9:35:12 AM

So you are basically 50 and looking for women 35 to 65? And by previous statements you respect yourself too much to be with someone that only wants a one night stand. So why are you chasing 20 and 30 year olds? What do you think you have in common with someone that is still in the party stage other than sex? What do you think they are thinking when they get a message from someone as old as their dad?


First off I'M NOT 50!!!!!! lol
and no I'm not chasing 20 - 30 year olds, in fact I tend to go 15 years either direction as a rule, in fact most of the women I've dated since my divorce have been slightly older(butt with young souls). But it usually is the younger ones wanting to settle down and the ones my age and older who have the "party until I lose my looks" attitude. especially the ones that kept themselves in shape or got themselves back into shape after their kids grew up and moved out.
I
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 28
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/2/2018 11:36:29 AM
Morta wrote: "Okay I don't hate myself because if I did I would be settling for all those flaky women who want "casual dating nothing serious" but I love myself too much to settle for anything less than being someones "one and only. And I lost my religion years ago, it was a choice of either believing he does not exist or believing he does exist and that he hates me. as I don't ask for much out of life and the little I do ask goes un answered.Matthew 7.7 was the biggest lie ever told."
************************************************************************************************
I didn't mean to imply that you did not love yourself or that you had self loathing. I am sorry if my cliches were to trite in content and you interpreted it internally. I think that the options here for what people are looking for is a failed feature. I am only here for the forums so I could opt for "nothing serious" because I am not looking or searching right now. That doesn't mean I am looking for casual sex now either. The "intent" and it's meanings categorized here could mean one thing to one woman and a completely different interpretation to another. Perhaps you should over look that and engage with the woman via email here and see what that answer means to her, specifically.

Yup.. sometimes the answer to my prayer is NO. I don't know if my God is anyone else's because I don't follow any religion and I just try to believe in something outside of myself God, the universe, the sun whom I can call a "higher power". There may or not be a God but one thing I know is that I am not him/her.

I don't find this to be a lie "Ask, Seek, Knock. Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."
This script is a script reminding people to take action. Seek, knock and ask. It just means that what you want out of life you have to go out and get it. You will never ever have what you truly desire unless you ASK for it. Good things don't just fall into your lap.

OLD makes finding a mate like searching in a catalog. Real life is not like this. Here, if you find the pond is drying up in your area.. then perhaps you should venture away from online dating. Stop expecting. Go out and see what your options are. Look, Seek, Ask beyond this arena. It's a free site. You get here what your paying for. The same old faces here but who and where can you meet someone if you find situations where you will have more options? I don't know but ask yourself and then go and seek. If you knocked on my door, I would answer it.

Good luck in your "seeking".
 WorkPlayHaveFun
Joined: 10/20/2018
Msg: 29
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/2/2018 12:05:55 PM
Yeah 48 is not 50 to someone nearing 50 ... but to someone half that age it is.

You said you'd have to seriously consider someone in their late 20's, then go on to say you go 15 years either way, then 20 years either way, and back to 15 years either way. 15 years younger than your 48 years is 33, 20 years younger is 28. Thus the chasing 20s and 30s. If you don't know what your doing how do you expect anyone else to? My point is be realistic. The number of 20 and 30 year olds that are interested in someone nearly 50 is a small fraction of the dating field. Most people (men and women) go 5 to 8 years on either side of their current age.

If im not mistaken there is also a military base near/in fort worth, this means a constant influx of new people coming into your area. Your pond isn't growing smaller your pond is filled with little dams that you have built. Break the dams, get realistic, and try a new search.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 30
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/2/2018 4:24:37 PM
OP, 20 miles isn't very far. I don't know anything about where you live though so it may be that is considered far in your area. I have to travel farther to get back and forth from work so it seems like a pretty short distance to me. If your dream person was 30 miles away, wouldn't you want to be open to that?
 morta1ez
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 31
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/2/2018 7:41:03 PM

You said you'd have to seriously consider someone in their late 20's, then go on to say you go 15 years either way, then 20 years either way, and back to 15 years either way. 15 years younger than your 48 years is 33, 20 years younger is 28. Thus the chasing 20s and 30s. If you don't know what your doing how do you expect anyone else to? My point is be realistic. The number of 20 and 30 year olds that are interested in someone nearly 50 is a small fraction of the dating field. Most people (men and women) go 5 to 8 years on either side of their current age.


Actually I said I would have to think long and hard about dating early 20's. plus you seem to be focused on the younger end of my dating range, I'm not, as they are more likely to have younger children or to want children in the future, just said they arent ruled out. the most recent women I have dated in the last 3 years were in order, 56, 51, 34, 42, 53,36 and they were all my type and within my age range and did not look much different in age if you lined them up. hell there are women in their 60's I would have no problem dating I met one at the bus stop last year she was a 68 year old vegan yoga instructor and smoken hot, and brilliant we were talking politics, she was as far left as me(I actually thought she was mid to late 30's who just went prematurely grey) sadly it turned out she lived in Seattle and was just visiting her kids she added me on facebook and we critic each others art work, but that's as far as it went. .


If im not mistaken there is also a military base near/in fort worth, this means a constant influx of new people coming into your area. Your pond isn't growing smaller your pond is filled with little dams that you have built. Break the dams, get realistic, and try a new search.


Actually military bases only tend to be more of benefit to the local female population(the military is still predominantly male), there have been studies on how towns with bases tend to have out of wack male/female populations(tend to be male heavy).

In fact the only places in America where men actually have an advantage seem to be in those former factory towns where most men(competition) leave as soon as they finish highschool but not before they knock up their highschool sweetheart(trapping her there), Ironically those are the towns with the highest military recruitment rates lol(I have a cousin that used to be a recruiter). I have a body from school who has spent closed to 10 years in such an area, according to the census 70% of the male population is either under 19 or retirement age, where as the female population is about even across the board(with a slight bump at the over 60 mark. so the majority of the guys his age are married. I've only been there 3 times and it is surreal, go to a bar and it's the same as bars here but in reverse.... the women are the aggressors and approaches. And the funny thing is when he lived in Ft.Worth he wanted nothing more than to settle down with a loving woman, now he enjoys being single too much..... Basically he is acting like a typical hot chick now.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 32
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/3/2018 7:58:25 AM

This is why I don't advocate spending money on the paid sites. I've seen them endorsed with statements like people are more serious when they pay. That wasn't been my experience.

There are jerks, liars, cheaters, people for looking an ego boost or text buddy etc on all dating sites. But I had relatively more success on Match compared to POF. More emails and dates and a few short term relationships.


The problem with OLD is that too many people have crazy expectations.

I agree with you here. Many people have a long list of rigid requirements/dealbreakers. If/when there is an actual first date/meeting, many people expect instant chemistry or they quickly lose interest. Most of the time there isn't going to be instant chemistry with someone that is virtual stranger. Plus some people can be a little bit shy or nervous at first.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 33
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/3/2018 11:33:06 AM

What do you think they are thinking when they get a message from someone as old as their dad?


They've been a bad girl and they need a spanking?
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 34
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/4/2018 11:46:24 AM
Well, if they've been bad, I tell them to go to my room!
Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/4/2018 8:54:27 PM
I met someone from here a month ago. We each hid our profiles so we're not in the pond. But when I was, I saw the same profiles so much that I felt like I was friends with those people. I could see the face and know her screen name or real name because we talked or went out. There were times when I saw multiple women I dated on the same page. I changed my pictures and rewrote my profile to try to match with others but in the end, my interests are the same.

One thing that seems to work is to search without logging in. Or if you see a profile from someone in your area while you're in here. That will usually lead to other profiles in your area. I've found a lot I've never seen before when I did that.
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 36
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/5/2018 4:25:11 AM


One thing that seems to work is to search without logging in. Or if you see a profile from someone in your area while you're in here. That will usually lead to other profiles in your area. I've found a lot I've never seen before when I did that.



When that happens with me, there's usually a reason I hadn't seen the profile before. Often it's because she's a smoker (when online, I have the filter not to show profiles who are honest about being smokers). Sometimes it's because she's out of the age range (some are surprisingly young when I click on the thumbnail: a gal in her late 20s might look like she could be 40. Occasionally they're older and have age settings with a minimum older than me, so they don't show up as matches). Sometimes they're beyond my usual distance (I typically put 50 POF miles which is more like 80 real miles). Could also be a new fake account, but I typically can spot their pic.


Am largely fished out but still check new users (the fakes are so obvious, it's easily to scroll past them. As others have said, a common patter is an underscore between two sets of nonsense letters). Found several to message this week and one responded, leading to taking things away from this site.


Often am aware I've seen a profile before, but it's not unusual to choose a profile and quickly realize I've seen this one before. Distinctive wording, a secondary picture that stands out, etc. Some of the gals with whom I've exchanged messages here years ago are still on here, some with photos they already had here in 2011 or whenever we messaged. Sometimes they have a combination of new and old photos and seem to have aged well.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 37
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/5/2018 12:33:15 PM

It seems no matter what app or dating site I use with little exception I'm seeing the same damn faces over and over, either people I've already dated, gone out with or messaged before and got a "thanks but no thanks" some of these women I saw their adds online consistently for years. POF and OKC seems to think they are possible matches because of shared interests And I would agree but sadly most of them did not.


If you live in a relatively well-populated area and have been using these sites for a considerable amount of time and STILL can't find anyone compatible, most likely it's you.

I'm pretty sure you have met at least one woman who would make a good girlfriend or maybe even wife but either you or her were curbed over some silly reason. Online dating is akin to a human vending machine...with the "there'll be someone better" mentality. The people I know who are successful in dating/relationships are a) open b) attractive (INSIDE as well as out) and c) have good pickers. They're also people who aren't solely dependent on dating sites.

Many people who use dating sites/apps are not as open/accepting as they may think they are, or else there would be more first dates that lead to a second and beyond. Instead, they find any reason to curb the person and then go back to the drawing board, where they run into the issue that you, OP, have: It's the same ole faces over and over again! I'm not saying keep dating a person who was obviously disrespectful or dishonest from date #1 but if you don't want to be on dating sites for the rest of your life, then alter your approach & expectations.
 morta1ez
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 38
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/5/2018 2:34:34 PM

If you live in a relatively well-populated area and have been using these sites for a considerable amount of time and STILL can't find anyone compatible, most likely it's you.


I don't have much trouble finding compatible women, I do how ever find it hard to find women who are compatible who want more than "casual dating/nothing serious"(which seems to be all aspects of a relationship except for the exclusivity) or "just friends"


I'm pretty sure you have met at least one woman who would make a good girlfriend or maybe even wife but either you or her were curbed over some silly reason. Online dating is akin to a human vending machine...with the "there'll be someone better" mentality. The people I know who are successful in dating/relationships are a) open b) attractive (INSIDE as well as out) and c) have good pickers. They're also people who aren't solely dependent on dating sites.


The only reason I would curb a potential good match would be if she had children at home or had an excessively demanding career that meant I would not get to see her often(the only thing lonelier than not having a partner is HAVING a partner that is barely around) .


Many people who use dating sites/apps are not as open/accepting as they may think they are, or else there would be more first dates that lead to a second and beyond. Instead, they find any reason to curb the person and then go back to the drawing board, where they run into the issue that you, OP, have: It's the same ole faces over and over again! I'm not saying keep dating a person who was obviously disrespectful or dishonest from date #1 but if you don't want to be on dating sites for the rest of your life, then alter your approach & expectations.


I do think I'm open and excepting of a lot, I don't care about a woman's career, age, race, income what kind of neighborhood she lives in(just how far she lives from me), her education level etc etc... I'm not expecting a woman to look like someone shook a playboy and a centerfold fell out(though there must be some attraction).

All I really want is someone who has
1. a few similar likes and interests.
2. mutual attraction.
3. Is faithful.
4. behaves in a faithful manner.

Sadly dating sites are pretty much my only hope because the Problem is I don't like being around a lot of people, it's emotionally exhausting, infact romantic relationships are the only relationships I actually get enjoyment out of, yes I enjoy hanging with friends & family in small dosses but more than a few hours and I'm ready to go, where when in a relationship I can spend days or weeks in a house with a woman I care about and it never gets old.
 Carnival_Fishing
Joined: 10/2/2018
Msg: 39
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/5/2018 4:48:51 PM
3. Is faithful.
4. behaves in a faithful manner.
------------------------
Get a dog.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 40
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/5/2018 5:06:29 PM

3. Is faithful.
4. behaves in a faithful manner.
------------------------
Get a dog.


Recently, in a gift shop, I saw for the first time, a painted wooden sign that said, "If you want a stable relationship.....get a horse."
 morta1ez
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 41
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/5/2018 5:13:57 PM

3. Is faithful.
4. behaves in a faithful manner.
------------------------
Get a dog.


As far as I know that's illegal in 43 states. I have a dog and he sleeps in his own bed thank you very much.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 42
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/5/2018 8:26:04 PM
Out of fish. It's all about plentyofturtles.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD1lhmS8bmQ
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 43
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/5/2018 11:34:21 PM

Get a dog.


I know you're joking (hopefully) but animals are no substitute for human connection and interaction. It's very thoughtless when people suggest "oh just get a pet" or "just go masturbate" as solutions for loneliness. The vast majority of us crave & thrive off human closeness & companionship. A few months ago I was lamenting to my mom about how lonely I was here (all my friends & family live 1,000 miles away) and she suggested I get a dog. She meant well but I don't place pets at the same level in my life as friends, or vice versa.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 44
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/6/2018 9:10:06 AM
^^^^^^^^^good post siisaa. Yes, we all need people.
 morta1ez
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 45
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/7/2018 7:29:49 AM

I know you're joking (hopefully) but animals are no substitute for human connection and interaction. It's very thoughtless when people suggest "oh just get a pet" or "just go masturbate" as solutions for loneliness. The vast majority of us crave & thrive off human closeness & companionship. A few months ago I was lamenting to my mom about how lonely I was here (all my friends & family live 1,000 miles away) and she suggested I get a dog. She meant well but I don't place pets at the same level in my life as friends, or vice versa.


I have said that same thing many times except not about pets but friends, when people tell me to be more social, or to create a circle of friends to cure my loneliness, ..... mmmmmm no thanks, platonic friends are no substitute for romantic partner, and my dog is not at the same level I put my friends, he is actually slightly higher on the totem pole(he is always there for me, always excited and happy to see me keeps code enforcement off my property lol J/K, I know what to expect out of him every day) in fact the only humans I can tolerate more than a few hours at a time these days would be a romantic partner(that never gets old and never lasts long enough).
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 46
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/8/2018 4:10:45 AM


I pretty much only filter out women with kids(at home), obese and lives more than 15-20 miles(don't do long distance).


You've pretty much f*cked yourself, and not in a good way.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 47
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/9/2018 7:33:50 AM

I'm pretty sure you have met at least one woman who would make a good girlfriend or maybe even wife but either you or her were curbed over some silly reason. Online dating is akin to a human vending machine...with the "there'll be someone better" mentality. The people I know who are successful in dating/relationships are a) open b) attractive (INSIDE as well as out) and c) have good pickers. They're also people who aren't solely dependent on dating sites.

Many people who use dating sites/apps are not as open/accepting as they may think they are, or else there would be more first dates that lead to a second and beyond. Instead, they find any reason to curb the person and then go back to the drawing board, where they run into the issue that you, OP, have: It's the same ole faces over and over again! I'm not saying keep dating a person who was obviously disrespectful or dishonest from date #1 but if you don't want to be on dating sites for the rest of your life, then alter your approach & expectations.


More potential options is a double edged word. The good thing is possibly finding someone that people probably wouldn't see or interact with in their normal routine. The bad thing is as mentioned above is people developing the "grass is greener" mentality. If there isn't instant chemistry or someone doesn't exactly match a virtual checklist, there often won't be a second date.


I pretty much only filter out women with kids(at home), obese and lives more than 15-20 miles(don't do long distance).

Obesity is understandable. I would be more flexible with distance. Extend it to maybe 30-40 miles. Unless the OP dates older or much younger women, many women around his age will probably have children that are preteens, teenagers, or in their early 20s that still live in the same residence.
 Scarlettcutie10
Joined: 7/28/2010
Msg: 48
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/9/2018 8:03:21 PM
OMG! That just happened to me and he was a good looking fish too that I was going to sacrifice my usual high expectations for just so that I could have him in my life once potentially only just for one night of whatever he wanted me for and then he would return me as he wanted, but he left this site angry so thankfully I saved his picture. Probably the best part of him since the rest of him was obviously impulsive and immature. I am still depressed, though, over losing him.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 49
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/10/2018 8:57:18 AM


I pretty much only filter out women with kids(at home), obese and lives more than 15-20 miles(don't do long distance).


You've pretty much f*cked yourself, and not in a good way.


I don’t see how the OP f*cked himself. There are plenty of women in his age group whose kids are already grown and have left the nest. The OP is in good shape, and it’s not such a stretch that he would be attracted (and attractive) to the same. I think he may be being a bit rigid about the distance factor, but I wouldn’t condemn him for the first two.
 Kevin116
Joined: 8/7/2018
Msg: 50
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Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/13/2018 12:48:03 AM
All this is actually funny
All looking for a Woman
1 have job
2 a car
That's it I can't find anybody lol
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