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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > How to Know If Your Partner Is Financially ‘Cheating’ in Your Relatio      Home login  
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 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 26
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How to Know If Your Partner Is Financially ‘Cheating’ in Your RelationshipPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
^^ I'd think he is being facetious.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 27
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How to Know If Your Partner Is Financially ‘Cheating’ in Your Relationship
Posted: 12/5/2018 6:41:34 AM

Where is the "we" and "our" in separate bank accounts? If it's treated as "our" money, should both people be able to see each other's bank statements, and see where "our" money is going?


I've not said anything about hiding money or not sharing when needed.
That's what being honest is about.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 28
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How to Know If Your Partner Is Financially ‘Cheating’ in Your Relationship
Posted: 12/5/2018 8:44:52 AM
I think its good to have a joint chequing account and savings count with each person having their own individual chequing and savings account. All income gets pooled into the joint chequing account with equal amounts getting put into individual savings and chequing accounts. I had this system for years although it never worked because we never had any extra money to put into individual accounts. Extra money was just diverted to debt repayments.

My mom's 2nd marriage they had separate accounts. But my mom was always broke. She always worked fulltime but basically after paying half the bills and for groceries and gas to work and stuff for us kids, she didn't have anything left for anything else. My stepdad made triple what she did. He was always buying himself stuff, going on expensive hunting trips, driving new trucks, wearing new name brand clothes and the like. My mom always drove an old minivan and shopped for her clothes at the thrift store. He would pay for them to go on nice vacations though because she couldn't afford them, we kids never got to go on any though. There was always an awkwardness in the household, he had more power and got to make all the decisions because he had the money. I remember there being a big fight one year because he wanted to buy new livingroom furniture. She wanted input on deciding which furniture to buy, he picked stuff she hated and told her his money so his decision. And there was a lot of little things like that. They split as soon as my youngest brother graduated and left home. My mom was tired of living in a house that wasn't hers, because even after living 11 years with him, she still felt like it wasn't her home.
 athenashelmet
Joined: 11/29/2018
Msg: 29
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How to Know If Your Partner Is Financially ‘Cheating’ in Your Relationship
Posted: 12/5/2018 9:15:27 AM
Here in the state of NC once you get married all combined assets legally belong to both husband and wife. It makes love, trust, and companionship mighty strong reasons for legal union as they should be.

It is my opinion that too many people marry for the wrong reasons, and financial support is simply one.
 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 31
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How to Know If Your Partner Is Financially ‘Cheating’ in Your Relationship
Posted: 12/14/2018 7:39:28 AM
Msg: 3

A guy will need to pay a fair share of living expenses if i do ever have one living with me.

If a woman I date moves in to my house per mutual agreement, I wouldn't make her pay for lodging or utilities: that would be like treating her like a roommate. I would hope she'd pick up some joint expenses, like groceries, dining out , etc. These things should become obvious during the dating phase.

I'm not into the 50/50 thing.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 32
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How to Know If Your Partner Is Financially ‘Cheating’ in Your Relationship
Posted: 12/14/2018 8:30:20 AM
50/50 on bills or all things? in the past, men were the breadwinners and women the homemakers. it worked well for some and not so much for others. equal doesn't have to mean equal money. which is better, someone making $100k and kicking $20k into the house or someone making $10k and freely giving it all? in a LTR/marriage, there is much more than finances and both should give what they have to offer.
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 33
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How to Know If Your Partner Is Financially ‘Cheating’ in Your Relationship
Posted: 12/14/2018 9:34:39 AM
"If a woman I date moves in to my house per mutual agreement, I wouldn't make her pay for lodging or utilities: that would be like treating her like a roommate."

>>>sadly enough, i think after the honeymoon lust wears off and the fun of playing house and sex-at-any-hour wears off...most people would want a financial accounting to avoid, oh, let's call it abuse of the other's good nature.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 34
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How to Know If Your Partner Is Financially ‘Cheating’ in Your Relationship
Posted: 12/14/2018 11:21:24 AM

My mom's 2nd marriage they had separate accounts. But my mom was always broke. She always worked fulltime but basically after paying half the bills and for groceries and gas to work and stuff for us kids, she didn't have anything left for anything else. My stepdad made triple what she did. He was always buying himself stuff, going on expensive hunting trips, driving new trucks, wearing new name brand clothes and the like. My mom always drove an old minivan and shopped for her clothes at the thrift store. He would pay for them to go on nice vacations though because she couldn't afford them, we kids never got to go on any though. There was always an awkwardness in the household, he had more power and got to make all the decisions because he had the money. I remember there being a big fight one year because he wanted to buy new livingroom furniture. She wanted input on deciding which furniture to buy, he picked stuff she hated and told her his money so his decision. And there was a lot of little things like that. They split as soon as my youngest brother graduated and left home. My mom was tired of living in a house that wasn't hers, because even after living 11 years with him, she still felt like it wasn't her home.


Did anyone in your family ever make a good choice of life partner?

All I ever see is one dysfunctional/unhappy relationship after another.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 35
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How to Know If Your Partner Is Financially ‘Cheating’ in Your Relationship
Posted: 12/14/2018 12:27:03 PM
^^^^^neither one was 'all in'. he surely wasn't if they were married but kept everything as 'his'. her leaving right after the youngest graduated only confirms his need to protect 'his' assets. she did not fall out of love at the same time she didn't need him anymore. totally dysfunctional from early on and while he may of caused most of the issues, she could of demanded a change or left years earlier. i don't fault her for leaving but do for sticking around 11 years when she clearly had plans on leaving anyways.
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