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 fashionchic
Joined: 1/30/2019
Msg: 176
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What are things you see in dating profiles that will make you sadly skip past them?Page 8 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

I don't believe I've ever seen a profile where someone is talking about who pays.
I have seen it once on POF. A man mentioned that he would pay on a date. That statement wouldn't make me more or less interested in him.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 177
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What are things you see in dating profiles that will make you sadly skip past them?
Posted: 3/18/2019 11:40:45 AM
That's interesting. While it wouldn't impress me either, there are those who insist the quality of a man is determined by his paying for dinner. I assume he's just trying to show one of his qualities.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 178
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What are things you see in dating profiles that will make you sadly skip past them?
Posted: 3/18/2019 11:56:13 AM

there are those who insist the quality of a man is determined by his paying for dinner. I assume he's just trying to show one of his qualities.


If HE was paying for dinner with a stolen credit card, exactly which one of his qualities would he be trying to show?
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 3/1/2019
Msg: 179
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What are things you see in dating profiles that will make you sadly skip past them?
Posted: 3/18/2019 12:07:02 PM
He’s just hedging his bets he may get more dates from putting that.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 180
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What are things you see in dating profiles that will make you sadly skip past them?
Posted: 3/18/2019 10:32:05 PM

Same here. I haven't seen any man's profile that mentioned who should pay on the first date / meeting. I have seen a few women's profiles that alluded to a man being cheap or not a gentleman if he didn't pay for her.

Well, I'm sure if one looked hard enough, they could find a guy anti-strategically pointing out his "Don'ts", with a sentiment against unequivocally paying for dates included. Not easy to find, but I wasn't questioning that she ran into one before to make reference to it. However, my point was just for COFFEE? Yikes - lol. I'd like to see that.

The who-pays issue that guys have concerns about in the dating sphere isn't about coffee dates. It wouldn't really exist if all it was about was meeting up at a coffee-only house.

That said, in reference to Dates in general, I would expect it to be referenced more by women than by guys, from what you allude to. I believe it's because from a gal's POV, it's in reference to something they Deserve that they feel they've gotten cheated out of in past bad dates. Additionally many won't at all think it has any association with they themselves being cheap -- but guys are more apt to realize, for better or worse, it Is associated with they themselves being cheap if they mention/complain that they don't pay for all dates unequivocally.

^^mine does-but i am a female.

I read your profile -- I don't see you mention anything in reference to who-pays. Or is it in Ferris State secret code? ;)

A man mentioned that he would pay on a date. That statement wouldn't make me more or less interested in him.

I think it's because it's essentially Expected, in the optimal dating arena.


there are those who insist the quality of a man is determined by his paying for dinner. I assume he's just trying to show one of his qualities.
If HE was paying for dinner with a stolen credit card, exactly which one of his qualities would he be trying to show?

The "minimum required" quality for dating for most people -- paying the lady's bill. If he was bragging that he stole the credit card, then I guess the quality he would be showing is how sneaky he is. Which I assume would only be in the positive direction if the gal was looking for a guy who lives dangerously like her Uncle Jimmy, who steals cars. ;)

Now, instead of using someone else's credit card -- what about a coupon gift-certificate on said 1st date? Many gals would at least mildly take this as a Negative and think of it as a Negative Quality of the guy. Even though that gift-certificate that, covers the bulk of the dinner has monetary value -- it's not enough to express the "monetary sacrifice" because he likely got that as a gift from someone else. I am not in any way defending that line of thinking, btw.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 181
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What are things you see in dating profiles that will make you sadly skip past them?
Posted: 3/18/2019 11:53:04 PM
I wouldn't do dinner with someone I had never met. How do I leave diplomatically if I immediately or even a short time later, realize that I am not at all attracted. A coffee meet can be over in as short or long a time as you are both invested.

Now....if a man after our meeting invited me to dinner, it would have to be in a public place and I would be happy to let him pay. It was the custom when I was younger however I always offered even then to leave the tip. A date or so later, I might pretend to have been given tickets for something. Once comfortable and trusting, I would offer to make dinner because men my age often feel that they MUST pay for the lady and I like to reciprocate in a way in which they will be comfortable.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 3/1/2019
Msg: 182
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What are things you see in dating profiles that will make you sadly skip past them?
Posted: 3/19/2019 1:15:46 AM
I’ve had dinnner dates before. They’re not really some long drawn out thing, unless you both want it to be. And girl you gotta eat^^ :)

What I know about myself is....I’m good with money, I’ve always liked to save. I like to recycle (literally everything except past relationships). I like to spend money. I like new ‘stuff’ too.
All this is pretty mundane, balanced and ordinary, I’d never knock a guy for being the same. Coupons?
You show me yours and I’ll show you mine
 LuvFishes
Joined: 3/26/2017
Msg: 183
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What are things you see in dating profiles that will make you sadly skip past them?
Posted: 3/19/2019 3:07:35 AM
Hemingway234 writes:
"I'm empathetic and can read people, even with as little as one picture......Half the pictures I see on this site are of damaged women........so I can discount many without even looking at the profile - even beautiful ones."

Oh ye of little faith... Damaged ppl are BOTH MEN AND WOMEN. Yes there is some degree of you read a profile and can judge. Many times ppl are nervous, so guarded. Far too many try to rush, instantly say I love you, Rush proposing, meet my entire family etc... just go crazy. Sometimes time can be your friend. It will reveal the alcoholic, the control freak, the temper. The person who is in debt up to their cahoonas. And some times it can be the most wonderful time of connecting having a partner to share conversation, activities with. Become friends. See truely if compatible. If not, it's ok. Two of my best guy friends I use to date.

Ppl our profiles are a snip of what where trying to convey. I tend not to put too much in pics vs. what he is trying to convey about who he seeks, wants and likes. I don't pay much attention to the Meet Me request. You grab my attention by an email. Develop conversation. If we hit it off, phone or texting. Most of my dating has been actitives vs standard dinner date. I tend to ignore Casual, no commitment... because many are just a booty calls. Hmm, I guess call this old gal picky. I want to be made love too vs. sex. There is considerable difference. Ppl often judge kindness as weakness.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 184
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What are things you see in dating profiles that will make you sadly skip past them?
Posted: 3/19/2019 6:52:34 AM

I’ve had dinnner dates before. They’re not really some long drawn out thing, unless you both want it to be.

I'm not opposed to having dinner on a first date / meeting either. I would go to an casual restaurant where both people can finish a meal within about 45 minutes or an hour. If the date ended up being a disaster, I can always put my food in a doggie bag.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 185
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What are things you see in dating profiles that will make you sadly skip past them?
Posted: 3/19/2019 7:38:17 AM

I’ve had dinnner dates before. They’re not really some long drawn out thing, unless you both want it to be. And girl you gotta eat^^ :)


I can eat on my own dime and on my own time. I would simply feel like a 'user' when a man I know that I don't want to see again insists on paying. Oh I know, that many would not consider me a 'user' for allowing him to pay and quite possibly even the man, but it is how it would make ME feel that is the only consideration here.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 186
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What are things you see in dating profiles that will make you sadly skip past them?
Posted: 3/19/2019 7:48:54 AM
^^^^^
That type of sentiment can apply for almost any activity though. Not just dinner. Suppose a man paid for a woman (and himself) having a couple of drinks at a bar. Or he paid for a game of pool, mini golf, or bowling. I know some people will probably say dinner is much more expensive than activities. But that isn't necessarily always the case though. It could depend on where you go and what you order.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 187
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What are things you see in dating profiles that will make you sadly skip past them?
Posted: 3/19/2019 10:53:43 AM

I'm not opposed to having dinner on a first date / meeting either. I would go to an casual restaurant where both people can finish a meal within about 45 minutes or an hour.

Yeah, having dinner somewhere shouldn't at all be associated with "lengthy". Which is why people (namely who already have been on some dates) couple it with something else.

Suppose a man paid for a woman (and himself) having a couple of drinks at a bar. Or he paid for a game of pool, mini golf, or bowling. I know some people will probably say dinner is much more expensive than activities. But that isn't necessarily always the case though.

I agree. You go see a movie, then have a "few" drinks. More expensive than merely going to Applebees on Sunday instead. But some people associate going out to eat with elongated length & expense. Other activities can add up more, and take more time. But of course, one can be strategic in the right environment and make it not costly yet lengthy. Netflix & Chill doesn't cost much either. ;)
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