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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > *trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?      Home login  
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 Carnival_Fishing
Joined: 10/2/2018
Msg: 51
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

I've tried dating shorter guys but it just makes me feel too big, it really irks me.
------------------------
One was 2 inches shorter


You should've suggested that he needs to buy Gene Simmons Kiss boots to wear on dates.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 52
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 4:04:32 AM

Your post reeks of absolute desperation. Perhaps working on your self esteem issues would be more prudent than looking for some poor sap you don't give a flying **** about, to rope into a trainwreck of a marriage.


Of course you thinks it "reeks" of desperation. You conveniently left out significant other points of my post so you can feel justified judging from your supposed ivory tower.

My point is, and knowing you you'd try to chop this up so you can spew more bullshit at me: if you want to be in a relationship, behave in such a way that has a high chance of garnering you one and that includes recognizing a good catch and going for it instead of giving attention to nonviable people.
 MyTrueCompanion
Joined: 9/20/2018
Msg: 53
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 4:08:52 AM

if you want to be in a relationship, behave in such a way that has a high chance of garnering you one and that includes recognizing a good catch and going for it instead of giving attention to nonviable people.


BINGO!

Siisaa, you really could write a book...a useful one, at that!
 MyTrueCompanion
Joined: 9/20/2018
Msg: 54
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 4:35:37 AM

The thinking police? That better not have directed at me.

???? See, that almost sounds like a threat, it better not, or what? Go ahead, elaborate. Excuse me, I have just as much right to post on here as you do. And so does everyone else- it's called "freedom of speech".


Along with low self-esteem, etc., is high self-absorption, it can be very disabling and makes therapy very hard to work through.
How about taking one's own inventory, trying to figure out one's own patterns of behavior etc. & making changes? You left that part out. Telling someone just to live their life is an insult, IMO, she has been living her life & has been unhappy in that life & is trying to change things for the better. AT LEAST SHE IS TRYING TO MAKE CHANGES TO HER LIFE AND ADMITS TO HAVING MADE MISTAKES.


If you were attacking me, please explain why.


Thank you for using "please"- my 2 cents- July is under stress, she is supporting 3 kids in a semi-isolated life, she is trying to work through things, she is much younger than the majority of women who in this thread have taken shots at her. Why aren't they taking shots at her no-good absentee baby-daddy? Because they like to enable the man? Why isn't anyone taking shots at the saboteur Mom/Grandma? Do they behave that way to their own adult children?

I imagine we were all 30 something once, & someday, sooner than she likes, July will be 50-60 something & at that point just as wise as the rest of us ;0) And I suspect maybe a bit kinder & gentler. With a pension, a career, a home paid for & 3 kids raised & hopefully a decent life partner & a couple of good friends.

At least July is honest & open in her posts, & I think she deserves responses that are more direct/respectful than lots of snark & sarcasm.

I don't see July being snotty to ppl in here- ever.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 55
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 5:06:10 AM
It has nothing to do with "enabling the man"....
and everything to do with enabling Miss July.

I truly believe every person here wishes her a happy,content life....
and our comments are trying to direct her in that way.
She has proven that our gentle advise falls on death ears....so we have become blunt and to the point with her because we
are frustrated to keep watching her make the same mistakes over and over.
Always an excuse for bad choices....always a reason for putting herself in situations that won't end good for her or her children.
She don't want to hear it...she should shut up about her actions.
 MyTrueCompanion
Joined: 9/20/2018
Msg: 56
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 6:07:28 AM
I don't totally disagree w/ u Ms M. but... we are all older here: think of her 3 children.

If giving her help w/ some boundaries so we r not enabling her helps her 3 children, I am all for it.


IMO being mean to her is like being mean to the kids.

If tired of her posts, ? better to ignore?

TY Ms. M, ur response was very thoughtful. I appreciate that.
*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 6:11:50 AM

Of course you thinks it "reeks" of desperation. You conveniently left out significant other points of my post so you can feel justified judging from your supposed ivory tower.

It's good to be me. For the record, I have probably turned down more offers in one afternoon, than you've received in your entire life. I know desperate women when they open their mouths, You are reeking of it. whether I'm sitting in my ivory tower or on my home throne taking a dump!, does not change the fact. Your post is oozing desperation.


My point is, and knowing you you'd try to chop this up so you can spew more bullshit at me: if you want to be in a relationship, behave in such a way that has a high chance of garnering you one and that includes recognizing a good catch and going for it instead of giving attention to nonviable people.

Nice try at back peddling, that's NOT what you said, This is what you said:
{quote]On the other hand, 99% of the viable guys who have liked me I didn't like back

It is/was self-sabotage to be crushing on or obsessed with the aforementioned types of men I mentioned in my previous post who I had NO CHANCE of being with at all and then rebuffing the guys I had more of a chance with. Those few viable men who liked me once upon a time are all married and/or engaged now. Maybe I could have been married or engaged too but I was too busy being hung-up on some gay guy, married man, dude who didn't know I existed, etc...

That reads like: If I just were to settle for some poor smuck, I don't really want, I can have that all too elusive dream of the knight in shining armour and the white picket fence!.


My point is, and knowing you you'd try to chop this up so you can spew more bullshit at me

You actually rate NO where on my radar. If you are going to post on a public forum, you should from time to time expect to be called out on things you post. Quite honestly, I usually only post when I read something that is so absolutely STUPID, I feel it warrants a response, or to biatch slap the stupid. I guess you will have to decide which one or both of those categories you fit into.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 58
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 7:34:09 AM
from a previous post, not picking on anyone, just introducing a topic<<<

I was too busy being hung-up on some gay guy, married man, dude who didn't know I existed, etc..


Kind of Off Topic here<<<

I can understand having a secret crush on a married guy, or some guy who 'doesn't know I exist'
BUT I have never understood the attraction some women seem to have for gay men~
I just don't get it. On so many levels I don't get it.
As a friend 'crush', fine---but a 'sexual crush'????
No way.
Can anyone explain it to me?
(And I'm not talking two gender fluid folks hanging out, but a straight woman and an avowed gay man.)

Maybe I need to watch more Will & Grace~
(Smile)
 Noftheborder
Joined: 10/4/2018
Msg: 59
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 8:10:43 AM
^Some have explained it as a desire to conquer. In other words, if they can only make an avowed gay man "go straight", it's because they must be just that special to have been able to do so, which is pretty self-defeating. The same applies to going after married men, not just "crushing" on them. Others explain it as a safety net in that it's a reason for singledom rather than looking inwards, i.e., everyone who I find suitable is either gay or married.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 60
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 8:25:50 AM
July...

You're never going to find a guy if you eliminate everyone in your dating pool who you think is attractive BECAUSE you think they're attractive.

 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 61
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 9:52:25 AM

Kind of Off Topic here<<<

I can understand having a secret crush on a married guy, or some guy who 'doesn't know I exist'
BUT I have never understood the attraction some women seem to have for gay men~
I just don't get it. On so many levels I don't get it.
As a friend 'crush', fine---but a 'sexual crush'????
No way.
Can anyone explain it to me?


Clytemnestra - I suspect that most women get involved with gay men unknowingly. By the time they find out he's gay, they're already emotionally involved. The man could be closeted or conflicted about his sexuality.

Back on topic: I wish the OP would come back to give us an update on her situation with her ambivalent man.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 62
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 10:02:10 AM
You have twisted my comments so you can attack. This isn't high school, why are you always in attack mode? I have been where July is, right down to raising three children on my own. I am trying to help, although she isn't ready to seek real help, I know that too I did it for decades. So why are you doing this?
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 63
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 11:01:33 AM

Back on topic: I wish the OP would come back to give us an update on her situation with her ambivalent man.

Check her posting history. No doubt she has a new thread complaining about something else -- or will very soon.


Some have explained it as a desire to conquer. In other words, if they can only make an avowed gay man "go straight"

Or make a Bad Boy become 'Good' - just for her?
Jesus, if I had a nickel for every woman in here looking for a 'challenge' of some sort -- and finding an azzhole...

You can't make an argument for 'All Men' anything -- if you are ignoring everything except what your tunnel vision wants.
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 64
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 11:21:46 AM
a crush on a partner who isn't availible? well, who is a better choice to see how attractive one is, than to win the unwinnable? also, for those who are constantly beating off (pun not intended) suitors who won't take no for an answer, the person who isn't trying too damn hard, gives plenty of room for one to flirt with. i could see why the stereotypical gay guy is a friend--he can have similar tastes/interests, he can be willing to talk about emotions, and he may actually take care of his looks. Of course, some gay men are physically attractive--i assume rock hudson was--but would someone be sexually attracted (at first or later on) to a friend? well, some of us guys have actually gotten out of the friend zone and knows it can happen. how long the sexual attraction lasts, however...
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 65
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 1:00:09 PM
I think some of the idea of ‘turning’ a gay man into a straight man is the idea that she might believe that if a woman can do that, then surely she’s feminine and her self-esteem issues can disappear.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 66
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 1:39:30 PM
1. LOL, My "Gaydar" hasn't failed me yet.
2. I do not recall ever having a "crush" on any guy, anywhere remotely close by to me. In other words, I thought Leonardo DiCaprio was hot in Titanic and I still think he's eye candy. I thought Heath Ledger was, oh so cute in, "The Patriot" with Mel Gibson. Just to name a couple of my "crushes".

3. As for some of the other BS in this thread, I have memory like an elephant. Anyone care to" dare me" to show some old history? ………………..No? ……………………..Yah, that's what I thought. My sweetsy cutesy caring compassionate attitude went out the window with the insults directed at "the old women".
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 67
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 3:13:13 PM

As for some of the other BS in this thread, I have memory like an elephant. Anyone care to" dare me" to show some old history? ………………..No? ……………………..Yah, that's what I thought.




Been around these forums since '06. The irony in some of the comments is staggering. I guess those folks think we don't remember their profiles/comments of past.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 68
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 3:35:11 PM
LOL, "Staggerin' " like a cute lil' drunk on a Friday night leavin' a dance club! ^ ^ ^ ^ ^Oh snap!
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 69
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 4:16:09 PM
^^^you called? And......5.2 isn’t so lil’
I’ve nothing to add to this thread although I’ve read all of it.
All the women in this thread are amazing, I agree with all of them.
Fine lot. Peace and love.

 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 70
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 5:21:36 PM
^^I sometimes wonder if some of these people have re-incarnated from previous posters?!!
Same stories....same drama.....different user name!!
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 71
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 5:53:58 PM
Weren't we rankled old women? I seem to remember that we were rankled too, or we were easily rankled by "youthful" optimism or some charming statement to that effect.
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 72
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 6:06:32 PM
.... Boy, do people stray the h*ell off of the subject around here ! It's like yak yack yack & cut cut cut !!
... yack cut, yack cut, yack cut ~ yack yack yack !!! Reckon I might try too straighten it all out a bit ( it's ok, I like to - col )

... Soooo > back to the REAL OPs subject > *TRIGGER* ...

...That f-in *Trigger* was a fine a*ss horse. Roy Rogers had been lookin' around for a vehicle, for quite some time. Bing Crosby just happened to have one - 4 hooves, a mane, big ears, flowing tail & excellent teeth ( no! you don't kick the hooves before buying ) Sale price $ 266,000 , he stole that pony > no s*hit ! (col )

... Kind of broad at the shoulders, kind of narrow at the hip , and everyone knew you didn't give no " lip " to big trig, big bad trig. He was a Golden Palomino Stallion, was a fine dancer and could gallop away into the sunset with the best of them ! Originally, they called him Golden Cloud, but it sounded a bit " too puffy ". Lived from 1934 to 1965 , and never really died - since they ended up stuffing him, and then plunked him into a museum ( & yes girls - he was well endowed )

... Have a GREAT New Year, one and all & ..... >>> HAPPY TRAILS TO YOU ( I do a great horse snort impression, lips flappin' away in the breeze > wanna hear ??? I knew you would ! )
... kneeeeeeee > kneeeeeeeee > kneeeeeeee > snort >snort >snort > flap flap flap !!!!!

... heart / *trigger* / sun

^^^ NOW THERE !!!! Learning a bit about *Trigger* was well worthwhile tonight, lol ...
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 73
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/29/2018 1:37:47 AM

Weren't we rankled old women? I seem to remember that we were rankled too, or we were easily rankled by "youthful" optimism or some charming statement to that effect.

Pretty much yeh. I find those statements useless though. If I’m to have a go at someone prettier/slimmer/younger than me then that’s the reason, definitely not cos they’re a twat.....hmm really?

There is something to be said for youthful optimism though.
I know most people would like to have the knowledge and experience they have now back when they were young.
Not me. I’d rather return to the ignorance is bliss state again and unknow stuff lol
 Carnival_Fishing
Joined: 10/2/2018
Msg: 74
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/29/2018 8:13:04 AM
" I’d rather return to the ignorance is bliss state again and unknown stuff"

The problem with wishing we could've lived through our youth with the knowledge and life experiences that we have now, is all of our peers would still be making stupid life decisions until they get more life experience. Nobody wants to hear a peer say "That's a poor life decision" when they do something that you know is a bad choice. It would be followed by "What are you? My mother?"
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 75
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/29/2018 8:25:05 AM
I don't care if they are young or old. If they constantly ask for help, then ignore help, and keep on repeating their mistake while whining about it, I am going to tell them they need professional help.
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