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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > *trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?      Home login  
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 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 76
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

Have I broken it off too soon?


Yes.
You have deprived us of one more promising ongoing soap opera to shake our heads at.

But we still have a few others to keep us entertained.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 77
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*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/31/2018 9:52:18 AM

I don't care if they are young or old. If they constantly ask for help, then ignore help, and keep on repeating their mistake while whining about it, I am going to tell them they need professional help.

There's a part in there that people neglect to mention as well. The constant allocation of blame on the other party. You can't stop repeating your mistake if you can't see it - and denial often exists in the form of finding blame in others. The only common denominator in your repeated failures is yourself - and SHOULD be the first source to be checked for mistakes.

Your dirty laundry won't fold itself.
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 78
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and can i glue it back on
Posted: 12/31/2018 10:55:32 AM
" If they constantly ask for help, then ignore help, and keep on repeating their mistake while whining about it, I am going to tell them they need professional help. "

>>>except,....who does it benefit? if they don't take something and you give them more of it...does it make you feel better? does it make them feel better? do you hope you'll be the last one to ever tell them to grow TF up? do you expect to be?
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 79
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and can i glue it back on
Posted: 12/31/2018 11:15:43 AM
"does it make you feel better? does it make them feel better? do you hope you'll be the last one to ever tell them to grow TF up? do you expect to be?"

History has taught me that people like this do have light bulb moments, where they suddenly realize that if multiple people tell them over and over, they should at least think about what they are being told.

I used to have a friend who would say to people like this "there are no yes buts".

I live in hope that people can learn from their mistakes like I learned to.
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 80
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and can i glue it back on
Posted: 1/2/2019 9:43:18 AM
"History has taught me that people like this do have light bulb moments, where they suddenly realize that if multiple people tell them over and over, they should at least think about what they are being told....I live in hope people can learn from their mistakes"

>>>and thus the reason i keep bringing up the issues i do :)

i find that people will learn, once they've tried everything else. so long as they can continue to find someone to put up with their BS, there's nothing broken for them to fix.
 Katy_124
Joined: 11/14/2014
Msg: 81
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and can i glue it back on
Posted: 1/7/2019 10:08:36 AM
Oh my lord.....

this is the second time someone has jumped on the bandwagon in order to derail my thread. Make your own!! lol.#

Anyway, over Christmas I deactivated all social media for a break and when I resumed using it, I found the guy had contacted me at Christmas. When I finally saw the message and replied, he was very enthusiastically in contact and has asked to meet for coffee this week.

Now I know some of you will say...don't do it! But I want to be his friend. He is a wonderful person that I really value - even though he does have personal demons he has to work through. I don't see why we can't be friends even if the romantic part isn't going to work right now?
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 82
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and can i glue it back on
Posted: 1/7/2019 10:51:12 AM
Dont do it because not doing it is the smart choice. You want to be friends but he will feel led on and then resent you when he cant have more than a friendship with you. Be smart
 Katy_124
Joined: 11/14/2014
Msg: 83
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and can i glue it back on
Posted: 1/7/2019 10:57:19 AM
*Tech30* - he is the one that suggested being friends. I asked for more in terms of contact/initiating plans and his response was he didn't want me to feel neglected/offered friendship. At first I was disappointed that he gave up so easily but then I realised how much I value him as a person aside from romance.

So how is taking him up on that leading him on? :)
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 84
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Posted: 1/7/2019 11:40:39 AM

So how is taking him up on that leading him on? :)


I think YOU are the one who will get hurt by keeping him as a friend. You're the one who wanted more. He will soon meet another woman and you'll hear all the gory details from him.

I still think you should make a clean break from him so you're free to focus your emotional energy on meeting a man who wants to be with you in a relationship.
 Katy_124
Joined: 11/14/2014
Msg: 85
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and can i glue it back on
Posted: 1/7/2019 11:54:03 AM
I don't this is likely to happen anytime soon. In other words, when he said he had feelings for me but wasn't in a great emotional space to be in a relationship I don't think he was making it up.

Of course it will happen eventually...that we will both move on. My friend asked today if I thought remaining friends would prevent me from dating others. I said no...if the possibility of a date with another person arose, I would be open to it. And that's true! I'm open to meeting and dating others. I would also like to try being friends with this guy - I suppose time will tell if it's truly possible.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 86
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You can't glue something back that won't stick
Posted: 1/7/2019 2:02:51 PM

I don't this is likely to happen anytime soon. In other words, when he said he had feelings for me but wasn't in a great emotional space to be in a relationship I don't think he was making it up.

Of course it will happen eventually...that we will both move on. My friend asked today if I thought remaining friends would prevent me from dating others. I said no...if the possibility of a date with another person arose, I would be open to it. And that's true! I'm open to meeting and dating others. I would also like to try being friends with this guy - I suppose time will tell if it's truly possible.


I don't see any reason why you can't remain on friendly terms with him, but I don't think it's a good idea to meet him for coffee or any other get-togethers. He hurt you, or you wouldn't have started this thread.

If you see him, you're not going to heal and get over him. He's usurping your valuable time and energy, which you should be reserving for other more important things - like dating men you might have a future with.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 87
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if you play with it too much, you will break it off eventually
Posted: 1/8/2019 7:40:05 AM
He does not need a friend he needs a counselor.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 88
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if you play with it too much, you will break it off eventually
Posted: 1/8/2019 11:30:28 AM
Its obvious you know you shouldnt keep this person in your life , but you love the drama it can bring.
 Katy_124
Joined: 11/14/2014
Msg: 89
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if you play with it too much, you will break it off eventually
Posted: 1/8/2019 12:02:36 PM
He has a counsellor. That surely doesn't mean he doesn't need a friend? For example, I once went through a very difficult time and I saw a counsellor for a while. But I still needed my friends! They provided a different, social & supportive function.

Techguy - I don't want drama. Why is it so unbelievable to stay friends with someone you care about? Granted, I don't often stay friends with exes. But on the very rare occasion I have it was because we still valued each other as people in various ways.
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