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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > What's Your DMV?      Home login  
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 calliopedreams
Joined: 11/21/2017
Msg: 26
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What's Your DMV?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Your algorithm seems one way. You have a "DMV" which you feel perfectly justified in applying to women, yet you are
continually amazed at the women on phone app dating sites that specify a height requirement for male respondents. The women making height criteria would be outraged if I specified a bra size. “Must be six feet tall.” “Must have 44DD tits.” Same thing, except women get a pass and I don’t. Duplicity is not attractive, Ms. Size Queen.


Nobody gives a shizzle how you "rank" women. However you paint it, it is just a point system.

Likewise, if women have requirements that leave you out of the running, why not respect it?
After all, you believe that "no woman is safe or out of my league," so you have many other options.

As far as chastising over-60 women for "complaining" that men their age won't date them, you already learned that simply being a "financially secure 63-year-old fit man" is not enough to attract women like your sexy neighbor, who refuses to date you.

Each person has their own criterion. For you, distance matters, for others, not so much.
When you come here lecturing others about "how to date," you need to realize not everyone wants what you want, like a LTR, for example.

Enjoy dating, until such a time as you find what you want, or give up trying.
But, never disparge others for their choices, priorities, or styles of dating/relating.

They are just as entitled as you may be to set their own standards.


P.S. This is a pretty ridiculous post, if you are truly having the success you claim to be having with dating.

Are you sure this isn't just a broadcast message to your ex, to show her you are still desirable?

Like I said, no one cares about your dating prowess, especially older gals who want to date someone in your age range, but for some reason are not desperate enough to date you.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 27
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 12/28/2018 2:33:41 PM
^^^ I skimmed over the OP's opening post because I thought it was too long. Now that you mention it, his post does come across as condescending. He's admonishing older women for not wanting to date a man such as himself. He's insinuating that older women's "dating market value" is lower than his, therefore, they don't have the right to be so picky.

Methinks his post is just another rant disguised as "dating advice".
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 28
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 12/28/2018 4:01:00 PM
As to your main subject, DMV, I have no idea. Better than I thought, but I don’t stay on the market long enough to really get a good idea. As app such as bumble or tinder might tell me something, but likely it’s a far younger crowd on there, so it’s limited in that way.

Besides, I think the concept of DMV sounds good but it has a lot of flaws.

Mainly, you DMV is relative and changes constantly. Say out of a 1-100 rating, with 100 being the top.

You DMV for similarly aged women might be 70, but your DMV for women under 45 might be 30. Women living in Cambodia and younger than 30 your DMV might be 80, but women living in the UK and under 45 your DMV might be 25. My DMV might be 30 on POF but 70 on eHarmony. Etc, etc.


Speaking of height, I am continually amazed at the women on phone app dating sites that specify a height requirement for male respondents. The women making height criteria would be outraged if I specified a bra size. “Must be six feet tall.” “Must have 44DD tits.” Same thing, except women get a pass and I don’t. Duplicity is not attractive, Ms. Size Queen.


Not that amazing, if an app is mainly used for short term hookups, then physical characteristics are paramount.

Is it that much different than you own must be “height/weight proportionate”?


A lovely 29-year-old Cuban picked me up at a local Salsa club recently. She talked me into taking her to lunch the following day which led to a week of intrigue, capped by a visit to the Cheetah club where she got in touch with her lesbian side with several consecutive lap dancers in a private booth. I thought I died and went to heaven. All my criteria were again met, except the age thing. It was a fatal flaw that I should have recognized right away, but useful in assessing my DMV. If I can attract a 29-year-old Cuban hottie for a week, no woman is safe or out of my league.


Did you have some sort of sex with her?

Not to be crude, but if NOT then you were a convenient companion. It’s nice and still a complement, but not very impressive.

She “told” you she was legal and studying for her master’s degree. IMPOV I log such information as “provisional” waiting confirmation.


but if I get hit on again I'm not turning down hitting another young hottie.


You are looking for a LTR, and being too young is a fatal flaw? So why waste your time hitting on a young hottie that you already know you don’t want to date very long?

BTW, did you dump the Cuban hottie telling her she was too young? I have to be honest, it wouldn’t have occurred to me to do that.
 Trebruchet
Joined: 10/1/2018
Msg: 29
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 12/29/2018 6:19:51 AM

No, it's not the same thing. If a woman said "must have a penis at least x" long/thick" THAT would be the same thing.

Well, I gotta say, I know your wife didn't move out because you were too humble.


Cinnamon Girl:

It is the same, because height has no affect on function, just as breast size has no affect on function. A penis size may have an affect on function.

It is difficult to discuss one's own DMV without sounding like you're bragging, especially when you pleasantly find your DMV to be higher than you'd ever imagined. The point of the post is for readers to introspect enough to find out where they really are on the scale, not where they believe they should be and take actions to improve their placement.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 30
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 12/29/2018 7:55:16 AM
"The point of the post is for readers to introspect enough to find out where they really are on the scale, not where they believe they should be and take actions to improve their placement."

Most important thing I learned in high school was not to care what others thought about me.
People value others more when they have high enough self esteem not to limit themselves by others opinions.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 31
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 12/29/2018 9:40:28 AM

The point of the post is for readers to introspect enough to find out where they really are on the scale, not where they believe they should be and take actions to improve their placement.


But why should you care where others think they are on the scale, or whether or not they take action? You only need to be concerned about where you are on the scale. I think the crux of the matter with you is that you've been dismissed by women whom you feel don't know their place on the scale, and you don't like it.

Maybe you were told you were too short or too old by women whom you considered to be your equal or lower on the scale than you. How dare that big-butted woman reject me!

Not every woman out there is going to find you attractive, regardless of what you perceive her DMV to be. The best thing to do is keep fishing until you find one who is. You should be focusing your mental energy on the women who are attracted to you - not the ones who aren't.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 32
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 12/29/2018 10:18:43 AM

I usually don't date foreigners, they are just not my type - that's why I say I would not date her.


Count me in on dating a foreigner. That's what Google Translate is for.

If she's brown, I'm down...
 Trebruchet
Joined: 10/1/2018
Msg: 33
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 12/30/2018 7:28:13 AM

Most important thing I learned in high school was not to care what others thought about me.
People value others more when they have high enough self esteem not to limit themselves by others opinions.


If you're not getting any dates, you may want to look in the mirror. You may want to lose weight. You may want to smile more, whatever. Or continue to not care as to what potential dates think about you and be lonely.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 34
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 12/30/2018 8:13:31 AM
"be lonely."

You are assuming people who are single are lonely.

Most of us older single people have been through the period where we relearn who we are as single people, and shed any co-dependency issues and move onto enjoy our lives.

Sounds like you haven't rediscovered the single you yet.
 Trebruchet
Joined: 10/1/2018
Msg: 35
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 12/30/2018 9:04:12 AM
moraima:

I made no such assumption and I'm not lonely. You said that people shouldn't care what others think of them. I said that if they want to make themselves as attractive as possible to the largest amount of potential dates, they should do just the opposite.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 36
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 12/30/2018 9:04:53 AM

If you're not getting any dates, you may want to look in the mirror. You may want to lose weight. You may want to smile more, whatever. Or continue to not care as to what potential dates think about you and be lonely.
I will take lonely over fake any day! not only do I have no desire to spend my life being the person someone else wants me to be, I have no use for anyone that superficial. if I did, I would just dress the part and throw money around. all the young hotties hanging around would just inflate my 'image' and 'appear' that I wasn't lonely.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 37
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 12/30/2018 9:23:18 AM
" I said that if they want to make themselves as attractive as possible to the largest amount of potential dates,"

Those of us with good self esteem don't try to make ourselves attractive to others. We know we are already attractive. No work needed.

We have no need to feed our egos. We have no need to have everyone want us.

When some people are left by their long time mate, it can take time for them to get back to being their true single self. This is a transitional period. Relax OP, with any luck you will get past this soon.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 38
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 12/30/2018 3:33:17 PM
How much is the going rate for 63-year-old, unattractive cheapskate?
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 39
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 12/30/2018 6:42:48 PM

If you're not getting any dates, you may want to look in the mirror. You may want to lose weight. You may want to smile more, whatever. Or continue to not care as to what potential dates think about you and be lonely.


If you want to lose weight and get healthier, that's fine, but you should do it for yourself. Losing weight to try to please someone else rarely works. Same thing with smiling. If your teeth look worn down, crooked, missing, or stained, and you don't smile because you're self-conscious about them, then get cosmetic dentistry - but again, you should do it to feel better about yourself, NOT to try to get dates.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 40
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 12/31/2018 6:41:32 AM
People who are happy and content with themselves are attractive.

Needy, manipulative people are not attractive.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 41
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 12/31/2018 6:53:37 AM


I usually don't date foreigners, they are just not my type - that's why I say I would not date her.




Cameron Diaz and Eva Mendes are Cuban. No doubt you'd kick them out of bed.


- I know they are actresses, I'd have to take a second look at them, I don't know. I'll tell you this, I would never date that mail order bride Trump has! Looks are not everything.

You know, I have to tell you........some women are impressed that unlike many men, I won't chase everything on two legs!




I agree that men can date younger women - it widens their dating pool and increases their chances of finding someone. However, I often see guys trying to date much younger women as a rule, and that can be difficult unless they have some seriously good game and looks - so it's often a waste of time for them.






Speak for yourself. The truth is that the OP is not a bad-looking guy for 63. He's in reasonably good shape and STILL HAS MOST OF HIS HAIR




- Hair does not matter in dating for men..........I get just as many dates sporting hair as I do without hair.




I agree that men can date younger women - it widens their dating pool and increases their chances of finding someone. However, I often see guys trying to date much younger women as a rule, and that can be difficult unless they have some seriously good game and looks - so it's often a waste of time for them.






Being rich and powerful can also help some older men get younger women.


- they can also get their hearts broken because the women don't really love them, and/or loose their shirt in divorce, so it's not smart. Leading with status or money is one of the stupidest things men do. Love is the real hook




Hey guys, the reason that foreigners are not my type for dating is, I don't like heavy accents. I live in a part of the world where a very large percentage of the people are foreigners, and many are new to this country and have heavy accents. I'm just into north american accents (this includes the whole North american content, including Canada), that's all. This explains why I would not touch somebody like the first lady.... she don't speak-a-da-English (not very well)!!

It has nothing to do with prejudice, it's a preference for dating, a type that I'm into. Ironically, my BFF is a Puerto Rican woman......but she came to the mainland U.S. when she was 10 so she sounds like a white gul!!

So I'm a picky man. She how silly that sounds ladies?!
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 42
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 12/31/2018 7:19:03 AM


@hemingway.

Just out of curiosity, how do you define a foreigner? I’m British born and bred but my family came from China. Would you say I am a foreigner in the uk, despite having been a British citizen all my life and holding a British passport? My bf loves everything oriental: food, culture, women and his idol was a Chinese and I think that was part of why he was attracted to me in the first place. He isn’t keen on white skin, blue eyes or blond hair (he’s Caucasian,though). I know that my appearance isn’t every guy’s cup of tea. Some do find me attractive, some don’t. I guess the same goes with women of other ethnicities/backgrounds as well.

I get that you’ve got your type and it’s probably the opposites of what my bf likes. Again, each to their own.

Anyway, happy new year everyone xx



- right, it's not specifically foreigners, it's heavy foreign accents I don't like, or broken English. It's just a "type that I'm into" thing. As tough as relationships are, communication is very important to me......a heavy accent or broken English impedes communication for me.

I know many people love foreign accents, I understand, they can be cute-cute.

As friends and business associates go, I love and talk to people all around the world. I love our British friends across the pond, and even have fans there. I love people from the Far East, they are so smart and the biggest music fans in the world, and I love music.

My friend has an Australian girlfriend and I was surprised that her accent does not bother me. Maybe there's hope for me yet?!

As far as skin type, yes, that can be another type, another preference for some people. I also have a skin color I'm into. I prefer white to Olive skin....... so yes, I like white people, Hispanic, and people from the far East in that regard.

I did date an Indian woman (From India, not American Indian) for awhile, but her skin was not my type. The only thing I can attribute this too, is that my first crush when I was 14 was a girl from Louisiana of Scottish decent.... so she was very white, and had a southern accent. So perhaps this is what has shaped the type of woman that I am into.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 43
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 12/31/2018 8:22:44 AM

- Hair does not matter in dating for men..........I get just as many dates sporting hair as I do without hair.


That's nice of you to be willing to date women without hair. 😉
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 44
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 12/31/2018 12:51:57 PM

I also have a skin color I'm into. I prefer white to Olive skin.......


I'm covering the other half since I prefer olive and darker...
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 45
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 12/31/2018 7:26:14 PM
You write an amusing tale, but I find nothing attractive about a man who is a braggart.
 Trebruchet
Joined: 10/1/2018
Msg: 46
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 1/1/2019 9:44:45 AM
"You write an amusing tale, but I find nothing attractive about a man who is a braggart."

So if I'd found out my DMV was much lower than I thought, the original post would be acceptable? Somehow, because my score was higher than expected, I'm "bragging"? It isn't bragging if it's true, which is the whole point of the article, being honest with oneself.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 47
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 1/1/2019 11:08:29 AM
Bragging about the truth is still bragging, it's all in the intent.

I have no idea what your intention is, I just wanted to clear up the truth vs bragging bit.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 48
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We are not shopping in the same market.
Posted: 1/1/2019 11:35:46 AM
I am sure the OP will be able to pull young, attractive women as long as he keeps his wallet open. If that is how he chooses to value himself so be it.

As far as being able to attract age appropriate, conventionally attractive women? Well probably not so much. I look at him and see a man that looks older than my father wearing a shirt my dad wouldn't be allowed out of the house in! Of course looks are always in the eye of the beholder. Another woman may look at him and think he is all that and a bag of chips.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 49
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We are not shopping in the same market.
Posted: 1/1/2019 1:12:00 PM
In message 8, there was a reference to hot younger men hitting on us oldies all the time and in a later message you seemed to insinuate it was because the older woman getting hit on was hot. I may have misinterpreted your response. However, whether or not I did, I can assure you it has nothing to do with whether a woman is hot, despite the woman who originally posted this falling into that category. She is right, we oldies get hit on all the time by hot young men. They may be out to take us for money; they may be out for something funny they can post to their Instagram (is that what they would post to? I have no clue); they may be out for any number of things but I can assure you, at least in my case and the case of my friends, it has nothing to do with wanting to pursue a relationship with us.

In message 26, there was a remark made that the intent of your post may be to broadcast message to your ex how desirable you are. I think this is likely hit the mark.

Re: your DMV and the young, hot and smart woman you dated for a week, did you pay for everything? There are a few universities in my city. They all have formal dating sites set up to obtain sugar daddies. I don't for a second believe that a 29 year old hottie was pursuing you for legitimate dating reasons.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 50
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What's Your DMV?
Posted: 1/1/2019 3:23:24 PM
Sexual market value existed long before your 37 year marriage. It's nothing new. Maybe to you but I would bet you didn't marry her because she was fugly.

I don't need to evaluate my sexual market value. Men do so for me all the time by expressing their interest, intent and desire for me. More so younger men than men your age. That doesn't prove anything. DMV or SMV is an inane concept because beauty is subjective. Your whole post is flawed and a farce.

The lovely Cuban woman wasn't a marker of success. You don't get the attention from a woman less than half your age unless you are paying some kind of price tag. Believe this there are woman that are way out of your league. The Cuban bisexual lady might have liked you because you are very effeminate looking. In fact with a nice blond wig you could be a fairly nice looking woman. I would guess it had more to do with your wallet than your sexual market value. $$$$$ gets the younger hotties. Everyone knows that. I bet you tossed around over 2,000 that oh so very special week. Scoff.

This just makes me laugh out loud " If I can attract a 29-year-old Cuban hottie for a week, no woman is safe or out of my league." Maybe there are "no woman" safe from your ego but that's about it. You come off as a narcissistic egomaniac.

Serial daters are kidding themselves with numbers. If you were such a catch then you would find a woman that was attracted to you fairly quickly and wouldn't have to invite a hundred woman out to dinner to find one. Your criteria is not all that complicated. You are looking for what most men want. You are not unique. Run of the mill a dime a dozen kind of over the hill old man.

I find myself single right now because I want to be. You are NOT educated in the dating field. You are clueless from what I read. The dating field has changed. You don't understand that and on top of that you are a condescending braggart and bore.

I would rate you a 3 and that's being generous. You can't even get the girl next door, yet no one is "safe" because your so amazing. STFU and get a reality check. DMV my arse.. .
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