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 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 101
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Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTSPage 5 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
guess if a follow up call-or thank you creates fear- i guess many men also "scare" women with a follow up call! Why should my interest be guided by a fear that my interest will devalue me to someone in whom i find interest- well hallelujaH-if my interest is that scary-those i scare- ok moving on..
There were some very wonderful men in my youth, who i chose to kick to the curb- YKY? because they seemed too interested! What an insecure, horrible reaction on my part..WOW- i am very aware of the social climate that creates this garbage we bring into adulthood (guilty as charged). Possibly because at that age marriage was the goal for most- in lists of goals that has never been one of mine. I did for a period choose celibacy outside of marriage-not because i sought marriage-yet i sought what i thought was spiritual purity from fornication...In that time-i rarely dated

This philosophy of rules(only establish the sought object-not human connection) the object being: good partner, LTR, FB, FWB, Marriage-we stop seeing it as a dynamic of interaction-

In the follow up call: dynamics will be exposed that indicate reciprocity or not..If i make a follow-up call when honestly feeling an appreciation of the previous interaction-if i feel no cheerful welcoming (reciprocity)..bringing up another "date" (by either of us) etc- So what.

If i have a miserable time on a date- do not follow up-and do receive their follow up voicing "oh had a good time...really enjoyed it-your company-or Whatever" a perfect response(a friend shared) for male or female that is honest and real "oh i am glad you did because i didn't" Really clear- no confusion for most! Yes some may try to convince us that another date would fix it_ but no-one is obligated to go out a second time..

Avoiding someone we didn't enjoy- IE ghosting-who cares-it is just another tool in the "game" and if one ghosts you the dynamics clearly are "you are the object i did not seek" I am still playing games- I am an incomplete human. Therefore, understand i cannot consider other human beings as "humans" ...who cares?..Who needs such?-We dodged a bullet "or the new term- "narcissist"
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 102
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/3/2019 11:41:58 AM

guess if a follow up call-or thank you creates fear- i guess many men also "scare" women with a follow up call! Why should my interest be guided by a fear that my interest will devalue me to someone in whom i find interest- well hallelujaH-if my interest is that scary-those i scare- ok moving on..


OP, it seems to me that you’re just wanting to cherry pick one word, “scare”, and are choosing to overlook all the other valid reasons you were given by others as to why contacting a man after a date to thank him for paying isn’t necessary and may even be a bad idea.


There were some very wonderful men in my youth, who i chose to kick to the curb- YKY? because they seemed too interested! What an insecure, horrible reaction on my part..WOW- i am very aware of the social climate that creates this garbage we bring into adulthood (guilty as charged).


It appears that you’re trying to right what you perceive as a past wrong on your part by doing the polar opposite of what you did in your youth. That’s strictly your own fixation. If what you’re currently doing is working for you, then continue to be the pursuer and call away – but please stop trying to invalidate other women’s reasons for doing what works for them.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 103
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Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/3/2019 1:33:18 PM

Just because we all have expectations, it doesn’t mean they are always reasonable. Some men might have the expectation that they will get sex from the woman if they pay for dinner. That doesn’t make their expectations okay just because they have them

I think most in society would agree, men expecting sex after paying for dinner isn't reasonable. I think it's quite reasonable for a lady to expect her dinner will be paid for when a gentleman asks her out. Opinions may very on this, that's okay. The poster that seems to be having a problem with it doesn't seem to understand that. It would seem to me he thinks only his opinion is right. Which leads to hyperbole like this.


Some people have the mentality that "the man's SUPPOSED to" -- as if he owed her money or something, lol



You say that you have no issue with a lady expecting you to pay for dinner, yet you say you’ve never run into “this type of lady”. What type of lady do you mean? And more to the point, how do you know you wouldn’t have an issue with her if you’ve never run into "this type of lady"?


I've never run into a type of lady who behaved as if I owed her money. I've polled my friends, they have no run ins with any ladies demanding money from them. To say a lady who has a expectation that her date will pay for her dinner is somehow making a demand for money is a gigantic leap of logic and is a extremely stupid remark. I decide which lady I will ask out, I make the decision to spend my money on her. To turn that into, she somehow demanded my money is just hyperbole and one of the stupidest comments I have seen posted in quite some time. That poster doesn't seem to understand, it's a date, not a mugging.
 MyTrueCompanion
Joined: 9/20/2018
Msg: 104
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Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/3/2019 2:08:02 PM
Op I agree w/ White Rose about your cherry picking plus invalidating other women's reasons.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe you are a scary person? Or that you come across as manipulative?

You were not open to getting other POVs in this thread, but rather were seeking to validate your current behavior.


If what you’re currently doing is working for you, then continue to be the pursuer and call away.

Agree. But if it was working, why did she start this thread?


i guess many men also "scare" women with a follow up call

No, a smart man, when on a date w/ a woman he likes, won't wait till the day after. He will ask to see her again before the first date is even over.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 105
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Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/3/2019 3:21:55 PM

Is this type of vulgarity really necessary here, with ladies present. My mother isn't here , someone's else's is though.

It was a reference to high-school lingo, of getting past "1st base" -- in reference to one being not only in an LTR but Married, being well beyond high school years in which said lingo refers to. My apologies if it offended anyone. Better put: Thinking if the 'date' went well, he could get past first base going to make-out point?

I will strongly disagree with you here. I don't think paying for a date makes me nostalgic.

I never implied it would Make anyone nostalgic at all. It's arguably the #1 used justification as to why ("Well, I'm old fashioned"). Nostalgic reasons.

Despite what you say, none of the men I know have ever, or would ever, expect to take a lady out and not pay. To say this standard is outdated is being disingenuous on your part. It doesn't matter if things are different these days in the working or financial world.

The reason men paid originally was because women didn't make money. It had nothing to do with romance, it had to do with financial reality. But the reason women didn't work (much), and took a long time to even vote, was also due to men being superior and the head of the household. Like it or not, men had to pay regardless, out of feasibility. It was situated like that due to women's "place" in the world. Absa-freaking-lutely. :)

"Expect to Take a lady out, and not pay." Kind of a nisnomer though. If you're taking someone out, that already answers the question -- so of course. Now, I will agree that guys are Not *Expecting* a lady to pay, even when going out on a mere date with nobody "asking someone out" -- commonly found when they're seeing each other already, but not necessarily so. It's because "it's the way". We get used to it (shrug). But forums and such are places to poke holes in society's flaws.

That said though -- IMO, it will continue to be that way because of the social flow, for better or worse. More women going to college than men, and being in the working world just as much today, be damned. If we had some social #movement of sorts come about where unless one explicitly asked to Take the other out -- it'd be roughly evenly split (I got this one, you get next one; I'll get the dinner, you get the movie; each their own; basically like same-sex couples or friends) -- it'd wouldn't end up sticking, as the trend to for a guy to pick up the tabs no matter what would instead... for dating advantage.

I've never ran into this type of lady but if they do exist, I don't understand your consternation with this

There are Plenty of women who have the mentality that "the man's Supposed to [pay]." Are you kidding me? :)

Coming from a guy who often objectifies women by putting them on a number scale.

It is completely laughable to imply I point to Women on a number scale when sizing up looks -- and not men. It's a people thing. It's more accurate to one's meaning than using worded language which can easily give a haze. If saying Bobby's a 6.5 in looks is Objectifying them, then saying Bobby is above average looking is too. People of all types refer to people's looks in comparative ways (pretty, not-so-good-looking, average looking, etc).
 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 106
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Posted: 2/3/2019 6:19:07 PM
I don't have a problem-THE OP IS A FEMALE!!!- i am not cherry-picking- When a time frame was not specified graciousness over the board was totally supported- only one person felt it was not necessary-So i guess after the date ends- appreciation of enjoying another human being and wanting to see them again is only acceptable behavior if you have a PENIS!!!
 MyTrueCompanion
Joined: 9/20/2018
Msg: 107
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SCARY MARY
Posted: 2/3/2019 7:23:22 PM

I don't have a problem-THE OP IS A FEMALE!!!- i am not cherry-picking- When a time frame was not specified graciousness over the board was totally supported- only one person felt it was not necessary-So i guess after the date ends- appreciation of enjoying another human being and wanting to see them again is only acceptable behavior if you have a PENIS!!!


Not that White Rose needs me to play white knight, but yes you are/were cherry picking, graciousness at the time of the date was supported by everyone on here, myself included. My point was you don't have to say "thank you" but some sort of statement that shows appreciation, but that's just me, another male in this thread seemed to agree that it can sound robotic.

You asked the question & everyone in here gave their honest opinion, why are you getting so snarky?

BTW, are you transgender or a cross- dresser?
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 108
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SCARY MARY
Posted: 2/3/2019 7:51:26 PM
Initia:

So i guess after the date ends- appreciation of enjoying another human being and wanting to see them again is only acceptable behavior if you have a PENIS!!!


Ahhh... no. I know that you are female and the OP, but you've shown a tendency to not be clear about what you're asking. It's been the same with your following posts.

If you paid for dinner I would hope the man were gracious enough to thank you for dinner. If he paid I would hope you were gracious enough to thank him. If saying thank you is to manipulate, that's game playing and unacceptable. To me this seems like common sense, which apparently isn't so common.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 109
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/3/2019 9:29:52 PM

So i guess after the date ends- appreciation of enjoying another human being and wanting to see them again is only acceptable behavior if you have a PENIS!!!


If you let a man pay for the date, you should also let him be the pursuer.

You want to call him? Fine, then you should pick up the tab. Don't send him mixed signals.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 110
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Posted: 2/4/2019 2:53:46 AM

So i guess after the date ends- appreciation of enjoying another human being and wanting to see them again is only acceptable behavior if you have a PENIS!!!

Of course not. Maybe I'm missing something, but where are you getting this? :) A guy (the one with the pee-pee), even when not ga-ga about the gal, appreciates it when a gal shows appreciation of spending time with him, and even if he's on-the-bubble of truly wanting to see her again -- he's going to have a positive view of her saying she'd like to see him again. I can't think of any guy thinking that it's even close to "unacceptable" for a gal expressing interest in him at the end of the date. Where do you get that notion?? :)

If you let a man pay for the date, you should also let him be the pursuer.

Okay, maybe I'm again missing something. I don't think letting a guy pay for a date automatically = "yes, you are free to pursue me". If he was Already pursuing, and then Asked To Take her out, she ends up accepting his offer, and he follows through as expected on it, it shouldn't mean she has to have at least open interest in him continuing to pursuing her. But, yes, unless something was otherwise specified, if he ends up paying for the whole date, it'd be silly for the gal to expect him not to pursue her in any way at all. Heck, even if they split the bill and seemingly had a good time.

IMO, it'd take a gal stepping in and firmly lobbying to at least roughly split the bill when the initial setting was for him to Take her out, for expectations of him getting the hint-hint that he's not that interested. Of course, that's beating around the bush -- and it would be silly to have any True Expectations that he Shouldn't, unless she expressed non-interest. The latter, regardless on how one plays the bill, is really the Only way where one should have expectations of them Not pursuing you.

You want to call him? Fine, then you should pick up the tab. Don't send him mixed signals.

Again, maybe I'm missing something here. :) A gal picking up the (whole) tab by itself doesn't imply that she's going to be doing the pursuing. It can mean lack of interest (hence, many guys Insisting on covering at least the Major portion of it) -- or of actual interest. Or like many dates, up-in-the-air. It depends on how she expresses herself in doing so and on the date in general. If one's not into signals & games, they shouldn't rely on bill-pickup by itself, right?

You want to call him? Call him. You want to be the one who "controls the ball" of a next potential call? Thank him for the nice evening (regardless of who payed what %), and that you're pretty busy, but you'll give him a call when you're free. He has every right to call you after a while if you don't, but it'll at least lower his chances that he when you do not.
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/4/2019 5:01:52 AM

To turn that into, she somehow demanded my money is just hyperbole and one of the stupidest comments I have seen posted in quite some time. That poster doesn't seem to understand, it's a date, not a mugging.

lolololololololol Not laughing at you forum fairy. That just struck me as funny. Yep, terribly sad, but there are some men who equate dating with a robbery. They seem to only exist on POF forums. Their contempt of women is obvious in their posts, their anger usually shines glaringly through, too. So much easier to date men who actually like women.

It is completely laughable to imply I point to Women on a number scale when sizing up looks -- and not men.

So as long as you objectify men too, it A-OK. I don't think it's acceptable to objectify anyone. Peoples worth shouldn't be judged by a number on a scale.
Chadwick Mixon wrote a great article on this subject. I will leave you with a quote.
" Because its natural for men not to consider women fully human, It's a women's responsibility to understand and accept that they never will be".


So i guess after the date ends- appreciation of enjoying another human being and wanting to see them again is only acceptable behavior if you have a PENIS!!!

Good grief OP. By all means, please, text, email, send your good wishes by carrier Pidgeon. Send my dates follow up emails if it will relieve your anxiety. Just relax, you're carrying on like men deserve some kind of hero worship for dating you. If you can't tell how the date went after you were on it, maybe you just can't read social cues.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 112
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/4/2019 5:13:26 AM
Are we talking about thanking the man for buying on the date or after the date via text?

As I wrote in my first post............. on the date I would do it, it's gracious and classy, and those things are important, and, unfortunately not as common in this MTV age.

I would not suggest a woman text a man after a date unless he texts her first or until she is absolutely positive that he likes her - why should a woman stick her neck out and risk rejection if she doesn't have to when men will make most of the moves anyway? Rejection is no fun.

Everybody (well, the nice, sane people anyway) wants to fall in love but avoid as much rejection as possible. It's going to be a bit of a cat-and-mouse game until two people develop mutually strong feelings for each other - after that, the games go away. I don't like it either, but this is just reality, dis be da way it 'tis!
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 113
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Posted: 2/4/2019 8:20:53 AM

I would not suggest a woman text a man after a date unless he texts her first or until she is absolutely positive that he likes her - why should a woman stick her neck out and risk rejection if she doesn't have to when men will make most of the moves anyway? Rejection is no fun.


I've not been following this thread except for a few things, but I don't understand why a woman shouldn't text a man after a date?
I mean if a man is willing to stick his neck out and risk rejection why shouldn't a woman?

I guess I don't follow the rules. I text whoever I want...it's up to them to accept it, respond or tell me not to text again.
Same if someone texts me.

I don't understand why we make this so difficult.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 114
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/4/2019 8:47:23 AM
Boo, this is not about texting. It's about the OP calling the man after the date to thank him for going out with her. If she feels the need to do that on top of thanking the man at the end of the date, good for her, but this is not something all of us feel the need to do. Thanking him one time is enough.
 MyTrueCompanion
Joined: 9/20/2018
Msg: 115
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Posted: 2/4/2019 10:00:44 AM

So i guess after the date ends- appreciation of enjoying another human being and wanting to see them again is only acceptable behavior if you have a PENIS!!!


Ahhh... no. I know that you are female and the OP, but you've shown a tendency to not be clear about what you're asking.
It's been the same with your following posts.

If you paid for dinner I would hope the man were gracious enough to thank you for dinner. If he paid I would hope you were gracious enough to thank him. If saying thank you is to manipulate, that's game playing and unacceptable. To me this seems like common sense, which apparently isn't so common.




So i guess after the date ends- appreciation of enjoying another human being and wanting to see them again is only acceptable behavior if you have a PENIS!!!


If you let a man pay for the date, you should also let him be the pursuer.

You want to call him? Fine, then you should pick up the tab. Don't send him mixed signals.




Yep, terribly sad, but there are some men who equate dating with a robbery. They seem to only exist on POF forums. Their contempt of women is obvious in their posts, their anger usually shines glaringly through, too. So much easier to date men who actually like women.




By all means, please, text, email, send your good wishes by carrier Pidgeon. Send my dates follow up emails if it will relieve your anxiety. Just relax, you're carrying on like men deserve some kind of hero worship for dating you. If you can't tell how the date went after you were on it, maybe you just can't read social cues.
 MyTrueCompanion
Joined: 9/20/2018
Msg: 116
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Posted: 2/4/2019 10:02:55 AM

Thanking him one time is enough


VS


carrying on like men deserve some kind of hero worship for dating you
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 117
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when given an opportunity to thank a man for all he's done...should you blow it?
Posted: 2/4/2019 10:18:19 AM
If someone gave you a gift at Christmas, would you send them a note?

If someone went above and beyond the call for you, would you send a recognition of it?

"I'm not sure poor people should be dating.............. if they can't afford to spring for dinner.........what if they have an accident and have an unplanned pregnancy? If they can't afford dinner, how could they afford a child?"

I remember being a broke college student, and honestly, the women i was most willing to invest in beyond what i could afford to lose, were those who were out of my league. I didn't get how a date leads to pregnancy, but i do get the idea we should, as the kids say, "stay in our lane".

its a pity this post has seemed to bring out the fight in the ladies. they should do what they feel comfortable in doing.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 118
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Posted: 2/4/2019 10:44:32 AM

Boo, this is not about texting. It's about the OP calling the man after the date to thank him for going out with her. If she feels the need to do that on top of thanking the man at the end of the date, good for her, but this is not something all of us feel the need to do. Thanking him one time is enough.


Thank you, Ms Rose. I guess that's why I was confused about the post regarding texting I commented on.

I'm not opposed to calling guys, so I might call after a few days if I were really interested and I hadn't heard from him.
But I guess mostly that would be if I were interested. This day and age it's hard to know what expectations are, so I might think
he might be thinking "why doesn't she call?"

I'm not afraid of rejection. It's been my experience that rejection early on often spares you a lot of drama, pain and aggravation...
not to mention waste of time, which I don't have tons of, frankly...hahahaha!
 MyTrueCompanion
Joined: 9/20/2018
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Posted: 2/4/2019 12:13:11 PM

its a pity this post has seemed to bring out the fight in the ladies. they should do what they feel comfortable in doing.


IMO many older women enable men, & act like... yes, they (the woman) are a charity case & the man is a super duper benevolent human being, donating his kidney, etc. Maybe there should be a Memorial in each town, w/ men's names engraved on it, w/ the date & what he spent on the date & where, etc.

Of course, no mention of ANYTHING women have gone through, or contributed etc.

IMO many older women are SEXIST towards themselves & their own gender!
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 120
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Posted: 2/4/2019 12:31:25 PM

IMO many older women enable men, & act like... yes, they (the woman) are a charity case & the man is a super duper benevolent human being, donating his kidney, etc. Maybe there should be a Memorial in each town, w/ men's names engraved on it, w/ the date & what he spent on the date & where, etc.

Of course, no mention of ANYTHING women have gone through, or contributed etc.

IMO many older women are SEXIST towards themselves & their own gender!


What is this about?
Who is acting like a charity case?
Many women here have said they contributed to dates. So what if some women say thank you when you deem it inappropriate?
I'm appreciative when ANYONE does something for me...and I say thank you, and if I feel it's appropriate, I follow up with a
phone conversation or a card. I might not do a follow up after every date, but I see nothing wrong with those that do.

You're taking this too personal when it's naught to do with you. Whatever you did worked fine for you and your husband,
doesn't mean it's rules to follow for everyone else. I fail to see how many older women are being sexist towards themselves and
their own gender because they don't follow the rules you've set up for yourself.
 MyTrueCompanion
Joined: 9/20/2018
Msg: 121
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Posted: 2/4/2019 1:03:15 PM

I fail to see how many older women are being sexist towards themselves and
their own gender


good, I'm glad you haven't seen what I've seen over the last several years.

It's out there alright & it applies to BOTH genders. And no I'm not sharing any stories about friends that illustrate my POV, because it's already sad enough what they did w/o me having to repeat it.

Op sounds a lot like a friend of mine who has to hold the world's record for chasing men. I've seen this many a time in the last 10 years, it's almost like an epidemic.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 122
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Posted: 2/4/2019 1:26:53 PM

So as long as you objectify men too, it A-OK. I don't think it's acceptable to objectify anyone.

First, you bringing up the side topic of me using #s in the looks dept -- I have never remotely implied in any way shape or form that it's a female-thing, at all. Second, it's not any more objectifying anyone than saying "Bobby is above average looking," or "Sally is awesome looking." So if you believe that saying someone's a 7/10 in looks is objectifying them, then saying someone's pretty is objectifying them. Purposely avoiding using more precise communication thru telling someone on a scale of 1-10, and instead using words to give haze -- doesn't lower any potential level of objectifying. It just makes it non-precise -- but the point is the Same as far as "objectifying". You're still Rating them, comparatively, when saying one's above-average looking.

Peoples worth shouldn't be judged by a number on a scale.

So you're saying one's looks is their worth? Who's objectifying people now? :)

As I wrote in my first post............. on the date I would do it, it's gracious and classy, and those things are important, and, unfortunately not as common in this MTV age.

I wouldn't say that it's less common nowadays. Mixed results. Goes both ways for older generation and newer. On one hand, the newer generation isn't So staunch on man-always-pays. Thus, it sticks it out more as really nice (ie not yeah-duh) when he does. On the other hand, newer generation can be very me-me-me in general, so your mileage will vary. :)

I would not suggest a woman text a man after a date unless he texts her first or until she is absolutely positive that he likes her - why should a woman stick her neck out and risk rejection if she doesn't have to when men will make most of the moves anyway? Rejection is no fun.

I wouldn't say absolutely positive that he likes her being the "line". Texting someone (or calling) after you already had a date isn't risking rejection. No more than waiting on them to hit you up first, as every communication isn't about asking someone out. And if this is following through on the guy pursuing her, him more or less having taken her out on that 1st date -- all while there were no signs he Wasn't interested -- how is she sticking her "neck out" by texting him that she had a nice time+thanks afterward, or even suggesting they should do it again sometime? Women aren't inferior to men, and we don't want to make that a self-fulfilling prophecy thru culture.

Everybody (well, the nice, sane people anyway) wants to fall in love but avoid as much rejection as possible.

I agree.

It's going to be a bit of a cat-and-mouse game until two people develop mutually strong feelings for each other - after that, the games go away.

I don't agree it depends on developing Mutually Strong feelings for each other to avoid cat-and-mouse games. Unfortunately this happens, but it's certainly not The way. It's quite unnecessary once a classic date unfolded, to continue cat-n-mouse games. Many times people's Fear of rejection or potential rejection between-the-lines holds them back. Namely guys getting the ball rolling in the first place (mingling).

IMO many older women are SEXIST towards themselves & their own gender!

I agree. But they don't have to be older, either. Guys can be the same way, but I think guys are more apt to feed off each other being wingmen etc, since they are almost always in the pursuit position, thus be not be as catty toward their same gender in %-wise.
 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 123
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Posted: 2/4/2019 2:11:01 PM
Yes most responders are aware-Ontheotherhand that I am Female (yes my comment was not aimed at you)- No this is not my current behavior_ so not trying to validate anything- I found in the responses before and after the time frame(which i was considering) validated- for a new behavior i am considering implementing. previous posts by contributors- has allowed me to determine what advice is valuable for myself. (indeed "lol upon revisiting-indeed cherry picking)It is not knocking any others opinions good apples i just want cherries..- If i do not share those apple opinions my apologies and will indeed express which cherries i like- as everyone is indeed free to express (any fruity opinion) on a public social medium- but anyone who wants to take it as a personal attack is welcome such a choice..
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 124
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/4/2019 2:32:43 PM
Ohhhhh good grief.
Could someone please find the volume switch and dial it down?
I'm not fond of anyone screaming at me. Yelling, screaming, raising one's voice, is exceedingly cringe worthy. Perhaps once................after that, it's rude and annoying.................................( She peers under the counter. Now .............where is the damn volume control?)
Nothing is achieved or gained, by yelling at one's audience. This older woman can speak her mind, and never need to turn up the volume, be sexist toward my self, (WTF does this mean anyway?) I have learned to follow my own rules, thank you very much. I may or may not call you next week.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 125
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Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/4/2019 2:56:25 PM
Old men don't do texts. We use flip phones and don't bother with any feature on them but phone calls. We don't do call backs because we don't have to.

If an old, crippled guy with a piss poor profile can get messages then we are talking about plenty of desperate women out there. That, in and of itself, is no excuse to be rude. Desperate isn't always a bad thing. I don't consider it a moral failing and merely regard it as a temporary circumstance. That said, I don't respond to women's messages. They may be perfectly fine people but lately my mind is going in other directions. We are talking about lonely and desperate women here. To respond would invite conversation. A conversation that I can't finish. The risk is that if I do respond, I will eventually be forced into actual rudeness.

As to the who pays what stuff, just don't be brainless. If you want to eat, then cook. If you want to drink then bring a bottle or a twelve pack or mix a pitcher of Kool Aid for chrissakes! Keeping score on such matters is pretty silly.
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