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 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 526
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thinking is not your strong suit Page 22 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
julystorm,

You know a lot about nursing history, I'm impressed.

The trend of more men in nursing has really slowed down, and may reverse. I keep up on these things, and stats show men leave nursing at twice the rate that women do, and twice as fast as they did just a few years ago.
https://journals.lww.com/nursing/Fulltext/2002/11000/Men_leaving_nursing_faster_than_women_.29.aspx

Too much crap to put up with, and generally speaking, although nursing pays well, it doesn't pay well enough for how demanding it is, imo.
I find that a lot of male nurses do well with technical stuff, but are lacking in providing emotional support to patents, and doing the down-and dirty nursing work, which holds no glamour or prestige.

Seems we have hijacked the thread. Sorry, OP.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 527
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 4/20/2019 11:23:37 AM

I find that a lot of male nurses do well with technical stuff, but are lacking in providing emotional support to patents, and doing the down-and dirty nursing work, which holds no glamour or prestige.


It's pretty funny you say this as I'm pretty Tech wise minded all my life. I was thinking about going into mental health, and one of the first things my Son said was that I'd lack in regards to emotional support needed for said patients.

He wasn't saying I wasn't caring or an emotional being, but more along the lines of not the correct type of caring. I know what he means.Its just hard to find the right words.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 528
thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 4/20/2019 5:08:05 PM

Too much crap to put up with, and generally speaking, although nursing pays well, it doesn't pay well enough for how demanding it is

My son is a Registered Nurse. He gave up a very lucrative construction job to go into nursing. He loves it though.


I find that a lot of male nurses do well with technical stuff, but are lacking in providing emotional support to patents

I don't find this at all. Actually, I find male nurses just as good at providing emotional support as any female nurse. I use to work as a Personal Support Worker back in the day. The male nurses were always way better to work with and tended to be a whole lot less arrogant. It's a myth male nurses can't be as nurturing or caring. My son has come home on a few occasions in tears over the loss of a patient.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 529
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 4/20/2019 8:57:51 PM
Male nurses, on average, are just as caring as female nurses. And keep in mind there are both crappy male nurses and female nurses. Some people lack a certain set of emotional skills and it's not gender-specific. I will say I notice that many male nurses go into supervisor positions which I always find odd. While there are a majority of female nurses, male nurses end up the supervisors.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 530
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 4/20/2019 9:07:41 PM
^^^^^
Men don't gossip and generally stir up crap?
Women can be awful for that.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 531
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 4/20/2019 9:59:41 PM
Yup, that's exactly why I work in the home care department rather than longterm care. You get too many women under one roof and it becomes too many hens in the henhouse with them all pecking at each other. I prefer to work independantly and not have to deal with all the cliques and gossiping and squabbling.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 532
thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 4/21/2019 3:06:21 AM

Men don't gossip and generally stir up crap?
Women can be awful for that.

I work almost exclusively with men now. So much better. If we have something to say to one another, we just say it. There is no grudge holding for the next 6 months, no cattiness. no princess syndrome. It's wonderful!
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 533
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 4/21/2019 9:20:34 AM
I choose my friends wisely. I would not have friends who were catty.

Have always owned my own business so I was able to surround myself with women who supported each other at all time.

Men or women who are Drama Whores do not last 5 mins. with me.

Can not understand why and how people allow others to treat them badly.

It is simply to shun this type of behaviour, unless of course, you too enjoy drama.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 534
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 4/21/2019 9:46:11 AM

I work almost exclusively with men now. So much better. If we have something to say to one another, we just say it. There is no grudge holding for the next 6 months, no cattiness. no princess syndrome. It's wonderful!


As a guy who used to work almost exclusively with women as a caretaker and now works in a male-dominated environment, I can tell you this is true. Men are not so emotionally-draining as women, although there are always exceptions.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 535
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 4/21/2019 11:00:30 AM

Men don't gossip and generally stir up crap?
Women can be awful for that.

Guys can and do to some extent, sure. We're all human. But as you point out, women can be awful about it. From my experience (and others' who convey) -- among guys, you're less apt to see "frenemies" and the like, back-stabbing, etc. Socially speaking, IMO, guys tend to care less about popularity & validation, comparatively speaking. Thus, less 'drama' among each other.

And in my 20s (college and after) -- it wouldn't be a rarity to find a gal who liked to just hang out with guys (as friends). It would be a big rarity to find a straight guy who didn't want to hang out with guys, but only girls (as friends).
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 536
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 4/21/2019 12:36:29 PM
^^^ I dunno, but when I told women that I was going to an all men’s meetup group where we get together in the wilderness around a campfire and share our feelings, they were really wanted to find out more about that. They don’t seem to like it when men do things exclusively with each other, but they want to have women-only spaces on college campuses and women’s only gyms. The way these guys usually got their feelings out was to say, “#*%* this, and %*#% that!” I don’t know if that really solves the problem of toxic masculinity- it’s still a very macho environment.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 537
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 4/22/2019 10:45:21 AM
I think it's just natural behaviour for the female sex. When I was an education assistant, the little elementary girls, even in Grade 1, were always getting into little snits between each other about little things. That cattiness, cliquiness and vindictiveness is present in 6-year-olds girls all the way to 86-year-old women. But something I've learned is not all women are like that. If I was to theorize, I'd place females into five types:

1) Alphas - The females which are the leaders, the ones the Betas (followers) cling to. They keep the followers in line by dividing and conquering. These females like to say or do things which keep their Betas not friends on their own. Basically, Alphas do not like it when two of their betas hang out without them there. Alphas sometimes leave a beta out of the group temporarily to show their power which sends a message to the other betas not to do or say anything that the alpha does not like. Alphas sometimes will only have one friend at a time. You will see this in many female groups of three where the Alpha will take turns making one Beta her best friend.

2) Betas - The followers. These females thrive when they are part of a group and do not do well independantly. Betas will follow blindly because the fear of isolation and not being part of the group is greater than their sense of morals, ethics and self.

3) Omegas - These are the females who are not able to be followers and fit in yet lack the ability to get someone to follow them. These females do well independantly but because females in general are sociable, they often try to fit in unsuccessfully.

4) Gammas - Followers who will not follow someone whose ethics, morals and sense of self does not go with their own. Gammas often put family before friends, religion before friends and morals/ethics before friends.

5) Sigma - Females with leadership qualities who lack the ruthlessness to fight to be the leader. Many Sigmas lead by example and in the absence of an alpha, are the ones who lead.

I have been in so many workplaces and it is my observation that that the environmental conditions depend on how many alphas or sigmas are present. Too many alphas it becomes really hostile. But sometimes there are a lack of alphas or the present sigmas are in too high of esteem that any existing alphas cannot get enough followers to rise to power.

P.S. This is my own theory and I just gave the different types of personalities the alpha/beta/gamma/mega/sigma labels for fun. If I was to label myself, I would say I'm definitely an omega. Definitely not a follower but not a leader either.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 538
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 4/22/2019 10:51:52 AM

“Living with ADHD is like being locked in a room with 100 Televisions and 100 Radios all playing. None of them have power buttons so you can turn them off and the door is locked from the outside.”
― Sarah Young


One comment I would like to make about why there seems to be so many female Nurses in online dating -- It is one of the careers that kind of caters well to people with attention deficits.

Now some may say that sounds insane, because nurses are (and need to be) very attentive to their patients... but AD/HD is NOT about a total lack of focus whatsoever. They can be very HYPER focused on a patient for short periods of time, but during the course of a shift, they need to switch their focus several times. Working intensely with someone in 20 minute bursts is right up their alley.

Beauticians are the same way. They engage their 'patient' intensely for a hair cut, almost to the point of cutting and styling off instinct for 20 minute bursts or so. The most difficult part about their jobs is the training and education sessions, because many of those opportunities last much longer than 20 minutes -- and retaining everything for testing and study can be painfully hard to do. Some tough it out for several years to become RN's -- some decide to stick to cutting hair.

Teachers have the ability to switch from one type of crowd to another in a classroom setting as well, and have to work in a reactionary mode to their 'patients' from time to time -- but since classes are longer sessions and they have pre-designed lesson plans, it's not quite the same thing as working in a strictly reactionary setting like a nurse or beautician would.

I don't see AD/HD as some sort of illness or addiction that people cannot function well with. Some of the best multi-taskers out there very much fit that mold. What I believe happens is while having that type of personality works very good for some careers -- it's a nightmare to deal with in an exclusive, committed relationship. While their career excels, their laundry piles up at home, dishes go unwashed, plants and goldfish die from lack of regular maintenance -- and so do their romances. Finding someone who can deal with the highly caffeinated and hard partying life is difficult to do. How do you keep them tied to the ground like a string on a balloon, without popping it?

Keep in mind, this is not a statement claiming ALL Nurses or Beauticians or Teachers have ADD -- you can find all kinds of personalities in all those professions -- but judging from what singles are advertising online, it's hard to believe a lot of them are not hyper in some way or another.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 539
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 4/22/2019 11:06:05 AM

^^^ I dunno, but when I told women that I was going to an all men’s meetup group where we get together in the wilderness around a campfire and share our feelings, they were really wanted to find out more about that.

I can see what wouldn't be very unusual is a bunch of guys getting together to go camping, with the notion to have a bunch of beers and express their frustrations, what's got them down, what's got them excited, etc. Guy-talk outside the classical type of talking sports & chicks. That's not unusual, nor is it in any "sappy" sense at all. They can happen organically thanks to drinking and being out in an isolated area. It's not a lack of "manness" and not a beta-only thing by any means.

They don’t seem to like it when men do things exclusively with each other, but they want to have women-only spaces on college campuses and women’s only gyms. The way these guys usually got their feelings out was to say, “#*%* this, and %*#% that!” I don’t know if that really solves the problem of toxic masculinity- it’s still a very macho environment.

Some of those guys, and I know many, will like those occasional situations -- those isolated nights kicking back, talking about frustrations, pondering, processing, etc.

P.S. This is my own theory and I just gave the different types of personalities the alpha/beta/gamma/mega/sigma labels for fun. If I was to label myself, I would say I'm definitely an omega. Definitely not a follower but not a leader either.

I like what you wrote July. But I wouldn't say a Beta is blindly follows. Your Gamma is a Beta; but there are Betas who do blindly follow, sure. There's Alphas who are a-holes, and Alphas who aren't too.

I would also say your Omega wouldn't lack the Ability to follow; they just don't; the more independent type. Maybe a potential Alpha, but they're not the dominant type. But that's where things get fuzzy. We Like to think there's some clean symmetrical structure to everything, when there's Not. Some have a domineering mentality and want others to do what they say, but they're horrible leaders -- but due to their Attitude, some will call them Alphas, because you will find some Blind Betas out there who'll cling with them. I just call them a-holes. :)

It's sort of like IRL vs Online. IRL vs What We Theorize as a Social Construct to make sense of things easier. Tends not to be the same.

There are folks who are of the leader-type (sh!tty at it or not; a-holes or not) -- and those who are of the follower-type (naive or not; socially proactive type or not; a pretty dependent person or not) -- and those in-between. And those who are neither, as well. We look at trends, but we do want to avoid falling into stereotype traps that lead us off course to make false presumptions.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 540
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 4/22/2019 12:35:24 PM
I agree with your criticisms of my theory but I guess I should have said that those types are more a sliding scale. My "beta" personality and my "gamma" scale are two sides of a follower-type personality and my "alpha" personality and "sigma" personality are two sides of a leader-type personality, then there is the "omega" personality" in the middle. Sometimes in life, whether you are a leader or follower depends on the setting you are in and the people you are with. For instance, in one's family, they may be a beta but at school they might be the alpha. And sometimes when there's only a a bunch of followers in a place, one of those followers can become a leader. The value of this theory is just understanding a particular group of females in a particular setting. And this is just when they are with other females--these personality-types can change significantly when males are around.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 541
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 4/23/2019 1:30:52 PM
Actually , on my scale an Alpha women is ONE who is strong and mates with an Alpha guy like below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmiRzJ-VF3I
thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 4/23/2019 1:55:37 PM

I agree with your criticisms of my theory but I guess I should have said that those types are more a sliding scale.


Call me crazy, but I think your time would be better spent on analyzing your own decisions in life rather than how to accurately classify women.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 543
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 4/23/2019 2:56:43 PM
msg#542:
I agree with your criticisms of my theory but I guess I should have said that those types are more a sliding scale.


Call me crazy, but I think your time would be better spent on analyzing your own decisions in life rather than how to accurately classify women.


+1

And...

They read like dusty out-dated pop psych texts.

Yawn.
thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 4/23/2019 4:14:39 PM

They read like dusty out-dated pop psych texts.

Yawn.


Word.

I know this is a place for discussion and such, but for f*ck's sake, there are people who have been here for eons *posting* their analytical thoughts about everything pertaining to dating, but no tales of any ACTION being taken for better results. There comes a time when one has to either put up or shut up. Do you want to get better at dating or better at talking about it?
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 545
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 4/23/2019 7:11:57 PM
I am on a break from dating and I lack a social life outside my kids hence I spend a bunch of time creating theories and trying to keep discussion going on this site which at times is so slow you can hear crickets chirp. My kids are gone to their dads this week for the Easter week break and I biked 87 kilometers this week by myself and watched a lot of TV by myself. Soccer season for me doesn't start back up till May. I had been excited about the NHL playoffs but the Winnipeg Jets and Calgary Flames just got knocked out so I won't even have that to occupy me.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 546
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 4/23/2019 9:00:32 PM
^^^ Enjoy your quiet time because you'll be dealing with angry kids (Your thread in the Single Parents section) when they get back.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 547
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 4/23/2019 11:02:17 PM
Yeah, I know. And it gets worse when they get back from their dad's, I have to deal with their upset feelings and brainwashing that got done. It's just really hard because I spend so much time of my life looking after my kids and doing stuff with them, it seems so empty when they are gone. This empty house is really lonely when you aren't used to it.
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 548
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 5/4/2019 7:55:17 AM

Male nurses, on average, are just as caring as female nurses. And keep in mind there are both crappy male nurses and female nurses. Some people lack a certain set of emotional skills and it's not gender-specific. I will say I notice that many male nurses go into supervisor positions which I always find odd. While there are a majority of female nurses, male nurses end up the supervisors.


Very true; re: male nurses going into supervision.

And, re: my comments on male nurses, just speaking from my own personal experience and observations. I didn't intend to offend anyone.
When I've worked in ICU, I much prefer male nurse co-workers to female. That environment requires a lot of technical thinking and skills.
In the inpatient hospice environment, older female nurses will often sit. holding a patient's hand, stroke their hair, or even sing softly to them. I've never seen a male nurse do this. Younger female nurses tend not to do these things, either.
I do agree with the cattiness comments. I've seen so much back-biting and just mean-spiritedness among female nurses.

Having been a nurse for nearly thirty years now, I've seen a lot of change in caring styles, especially with the average nurse age now being quite a bit younger, than in past years, and with more men coming in.

The best and the worst people I've ever met have been nurses.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 549
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 5/4/2019 8:48:40 AM
I've learned that there are a certain proportion of nurses that get into the job because of the money, not because they have any desire or aptitude for taking care of people. The same can be said of teachers. Not everyone got into these jobs for the right reasons and it shows. Back in the day, if you were a woman, the only three jobs that were acceptable for women that paid anything worthwhile were nurses and teachers and social workers (secretaries and waitresses made peanuts) so a lot of women who wanted a career went for those jobs.
 Lindatasy
Joined: 5/1/2019
Msg: 550
thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 5/7/2019 10:10:02 PM
I know it's not fair, and I'm only 5'4", but I LOVE taller men. Especially if they are muscular/not skinny. The guy I'm involved with right now is 6'3" and built, so yeah. I do feel bad for the short men because they can't really do anything about their height, but one thing they could do that might improve their chances is getting in great shape, built some muscle, etc. I've gone out with guys who were only slightly taller than me, but they were still bigger than me because they were ripped. I went out on a date a few months ago with someone who claimed he was 5'11" but was barely taller than me. That would have been ok, but he was also very skinny; hugging him felt like hugging my 11 year old girl. My shoulders were probably broader than this. I bet if he went to the gym and packed on some muscle, it would change things. But like that, I was not attracted to him at all.
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