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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Women always wanting men quite taller than them      Home login  
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 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 551
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thinking is not your strong suit Page 23 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
If I feel like I could take a guy in an arm wrestling match, it's a total turn-off.
 Lindatasy
Joined: 5/1/2019
Msg: 552
thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 5/7/2019 10:45:10 PM
Lol, yes, Cinnamon, I probably could have beat him at arm wrestling. It didn't make me feel very feminine.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 553
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 5/7/2019 10:53:04 PM
I definitely understand that because I feel the same way. I want a guy to be bigger than me so taller and not skinnier. At least 3/4 of the guys I see on POF are either shorter or skinnier or both. I want to feel like a guy could protect me and not the other way around.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 554
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 5/8/2019 3:38:40 AM
^^^ I don’t buy that 3/4 of the guys you see on POF are shorter than you. The average male height in Canada is 5’10. What are you? 5’9?
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 555
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 5/8/2019 5:26:42 AM

, yes, Cinnamon, I probably could have beat him at arm wrestling. It didn't make me feel very feminine.

Should make it 2 out of 3 to be fair.


I don’t buy that 3/4 of the guys you see on POF are shorter than you. The average male height in Canada is 5’10. What are you? 5’9?

Odd more so since the study showed a higher number of men 6 feet and over OLD than the % IRL. That being said, as mentioned before, a mans "league" number goes down OLD so it isn't surprising they would be perceived as shorter in OLD.

Disclaimer: I use leagues to conform to the wishes of the forum membership. Personally, I don't belive in leagues. It is just another attempt by "THEM" to limit human achievement!
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 556
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thinking is not your strong suit
Posted: 5/8/2019 6:42:19 AM
Guys that show interest in me and send me messages on POF are often shorter. Where I live, most guys are taller IRL but the guys on POF seem to be shorter on average which does make sense because it's harder for them to get women. For some reason, tall guys don't message me. My cousin, who is 5'4, showed me the guys who message her and most are taller, above 6 feet. Tall guys just like short women I guess.
 FFS38
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 557
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 5/8/2019 7:41:35 AM
The trouble here is we want to apply science to dating when in reality there is no one size fits all type of scenario. Science goes completely out of the window when applying it to attraction.
I'm 5'11, an acceptable height I believe (though I'm wondering what the cut off limit is to women lol) and in all my past relationships the women have been shorter than me, not through choice, just circumstantial.
However, I do find women that are as tall or taller an added attraction whereas my drinking buddies, who average about 6'0, are like no way, they prefer shorter women and wouldn't want to date anyone taller than themselves.
So along with this and having friends in my social circles where the female has been 6'0 and the husband about 5'6 I think it's safe to say that there is no formula for the laws of attraction.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 558
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 5/8/2019 8:19:43 AM
I think a lot of people with a lot of physical demands of their partner need to booster their poor self-esteem with the idea of... "My boyfriend/girlfriend fits this or that criteria.... so I can't be a total loser."

It's all about 'me'.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 559
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 5/8/2019 8:55:25 AM
I think it's really just about attraction. I'm attracted to guys that are taller than me. And going back to basic psychology, women tend to be attracted to the type of guys who were their male role models when young. Women with shorter fathers tend to be more likely to be attracted to short men and women with taller fathers tend to be more likely to be attracted to taller men. I have tried dating guys who were my height and shorter and I really just wasn't attracted. I have been attracted to shorter guys a couple times though and those guys were athletic and had a lot of similar interests. This is why I have messaged back guys that are 5'7 (an inch and a half shorter than me) but what I have discovered is that guys lie too much about their height. When I meet a guy expecting him only to be slightly shorter than me, I am really disappointed to see that he's more than that. And getting lied to is in itself a detractor.

There are so many threads in this forum on this topic. Basically these are the generalizations we can make:

1) Women are attracted to tall men (even if they themselves are really short).
2) Men are attracted to short women (even if they themselves are really tall).

Yes, there are men attracted to taller women but often, they will not get with a shorter women, either because she wants a taller man or he doesn't want to actually date someone taller. And yes, a woman can be attracted to a shorter man but often, they will not get with a shorter man, either because he wants a shorter woman or she doesn't want to actually date someone shorter.
 FFS38
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 560
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 5/8/2019 9:19:16 AM

going back to basic psychology, women tend to be attracted to the type of guys who were their male role models when young. Women with shorter fathers tend to be more likely to be attracted to short men and women with taller fathers tend to be more likely to be attracted to taller men.


Yes some good points there, the psychological side of things to consider too.
Which is fascinating because I've heard it said that a man's height comes from the mother's side of his family, so I'm guessing if that translates to females too it wouldn't be unusual that a tall daughter has a shorter than average father, that may well explain why you sometimes see tall women with short guys.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 561
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 5/8/2019 10:00:55 AM
No, a person has a 50/50 shot at getting their height from a combination of genes from both parents (although there are certain genes that can cause small stature such as dwarfism). Here is a basic synopsis:

The results vary from child to child and family to family, and depend on genes and environmental factors, especially nutrition. Doctors often use a fairly simple formula to predict the adult height of a child based on the heights of the parents. That formula, dating from 1970 research, predicts that most (but not all) children eventually will reach a height somewhere within a fairly small range that can be estimated by the average combined height of their parents. For boys, the formula combines the height of both parents, adds five inches (or 13 centimeters) and divides by two. For girls, it combines the height of the parents, subtracts five inches and divides by two. A more complex formula accounts for extremes in parental height.Obviously, not all children of the same parents, nor even those of the same sex, end up the same height. Adult height tends to decrease in younger siblings, and younger children may grow more slowly.

My dad is 6'2 and my mom is 5'3 so if I put their heights together that'll would be 11'5. If I subtract 5 inches that makes 11'. And dividing by 2, that would make 5'6. So the above calculation is only 2.5 inches off the mark.
Other factors are involved in growing taller, most notably nutrition, but genetics is estimated to account for 60 percent to 80 percent of one’s final height. A 2000 study of 8,798 pairs of adult Finnish twins, published in the journal Behavior Genetics, found that heritability accounted for around 78 percent of height in adult men and 75 percent in women.
 FFS38
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 562
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 5/8/2019 10:39:09 AM
I can only speak through experience.
A partner of mine from years back who was similar height to me 5'11, maybe inch shorter, she had children already and their father was about 5'6. They were nice kids and their appearance leaned more towards their father's side.
I was with her as they grew into their teens but always thought that, like their father, they'd not be tall lads but they ended up being over 6'0.
Same with my Dad, me and my brother are much taller and slimmer while my dad is shorter and stockier.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 563
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 5/8/2019 10:51:04 AM
Dunno. My grandfather was 6 "2" big bone
My father is 5'11" slim and mom was 5' 8" slim. My brother is 6'2" large bone and I am '6 and slim boned.

I used to have crushes on really short women. If they were 5 ft-5.1 I was smitten. I liked that I could lift them up to my height and smooch. But life happened and met lots of taller women. Some were taller than me in heels. I got lazy that I didn't have to lift them or go on my knees!
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 564
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 5/8/2019 11:03:44 AM
Huh... I just realized I'm 6 inches taller than my mom and 6 inches shorter than my dad.
I'm 2 inches shorter than my son and (almost) 2 inches taller than his father.

Anyway, I don't think generalizations are the answer to dating shorter or taller (or actually the answer to anything in dating at all).

I think it's more like a sliding 4-D scale.
We WANT perfection and we realize that is (by definition) not attainable so we pick qualities that are important to us.
To some, it's external factors such as height, weight, physical standards that are close to beauty (i.e. balanced facial features, clear skin).
For others, it's internal factors such as intelligence, empathy, making others feel validated.
And, of course, that's on a sliding scale also...

I want him to be intelligent but not arrogant, attractive but not movie star quality, kind but not so generous he gives away so much that he's poor.

See? Something like that.

ETA: Sometimes those skinny guys are stronger than they look. I fell in love with one who picked me up and tossed me across the room onto the bed... *sigh*. Totally swoonworthy.
To make sure, you might want to ask him to arm wrestle you -- just to check.
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 565
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 5/8/2019 11:33:43 AM
I have been talking on the phone with a guy from another site. He is 6'3", and mentioned he liked my height of 5'4". I told him that's an error on my profile, I'm 5'3". He said "That's even better!"

Maybe it does something for some men's egos to be taller than women?
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 566
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 5/8/2019 11:41:21 AM

ETA: Sometimes those skinny guys are stronger than they look. I fell in love with one who picked me up and tossed me across the room onto the bed... *sigh*. Totally swoonworthy.

You know I gotta say something to defend the skinny guys( I am naturally slim). It is a false stereotype that slim guys are weaker. A slim guys with muscles will of course have smaller limbs but the DENSITY of the muscle fibers can actually make them stronger.Kind of like the thin cables holding up a bridge beats a thick rope. In addition the ideal warrior musculature (think greek gods) of wide shoulders and small waist which is biologically the standard of a strong healthy male with upper body strength tends to be an asset that slim bones men will have more than bigger bone structures that have wider hips.

Life really sucks in our youth because it is like the story of Billy the Kid or some famous gunslinger. Just like every Tom ,****and Harry comes out of the woodwork to challenge gunslingers , I was challenged often by ignorant wide body buffoons that thought they could beat me to a pulp. I felt a bit of gratification when I could get them into unbreakable headlocks and have them beg for mercy :)
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 567
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 5/9/2019 10:08:01 AM
Just skimming thru all this......July, you do have a gift for spilling your guts out...takes a bit of courage here...and you do have a knack of keeping people going here…detractors as well as supporters.....a la ”Sleepless in Saskatchewan” ...Maybe you should pick up a guitar, learn a few chords...put the pen to paper and I can see you writing some nice deep self-flagellating singer/songwriter stuff.... what is it with Canadian women?...Sarah McGloghlin, Joni Mitchell..we even had another one here on these boards awhile back.....she was an acoustic guitarist.....forgot her name,…...forever brooding….

As far as your detractor-gallery here, well, I’ll just say it’s easier for "older and wiser" to dump on you and to see the “correct" decisions in hindsight…when middle aged and older, because much of our middle0aged knowledge is from making those same bad decisions. Not to mention many decisions seem e no brainers once the tides of hormones have started to take a permanent ebb.


I think what I said earlier regarding older people caring less about looks applies more to men than women. Many women are still wearing nice dresses and getting their hair set and putting makeup on at age 90 while men....I will say most still shave at least but from maybe age 50 and up they don't appear to care about their appearance so much.
I have no problem with this observation, nor your initial observation that seemed to get everyone here in a snit. % wise, more older people adopt the “don’t give a sh*t” attitude, and that’s channelled in various ways, as in appearance or demeanor. My observation is that it’s channeled by men into not caring about their appearance, and in women by speaking their mind more often and not caring what others think.

I look around the gym in the mornings, and some of these older men..I mean, can they f’n comb their hair!?!?! I think baldness is the creator’s way of relieving men of the chore of combing their hair in the morning. Sometimes I watch with amusement when said men, with bird nest hair bend over to adjust a machine cuz I half-expect eggs to fall out.

No matter who bashes you, though, there’s one line of advise here that’s timeless - and that's work on your self confidence. Whether you want to go out and randomly bang guys off POF, that’s your own business. Considering that random catalog banging wasn't as avaiable when us middle aged and older folks were young means that we won’t like nor understand that particular solution. It's a generational thing...for us older folks, the bar was higher to go out and get random anonymous sex, thus that particular decision won't be understood by many older people.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 568
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 5/9/2019 10:15:43 AM
Grover writes:
Wow, I will keep that senior housing in mind. Being I shower, shave, and smell good everyday, I might need a revolving door on my room though!
You probably will. Actually you’d probaby need to set up queues like they have at the deli counter, with ropes to separate the riotous crowd of biddies...and maybe with a “pick a number" dispenser. Or maybe you could just go high tech and take appointments, and issue those blinking wifi vibrator thingys that you could individually alert members of "Grover’s Grayhaired Groupies," when it's their "Grover time".

###

More seriously, an elderly relative in law of mine had to be subdued in a NH because she punched out another old biddie, fighting over her husband (they were in the same NH different rooms). Seems that horny old interloper considered him to be her side piece. LOL. THey are (sadly, were) 90+. The wife interrupted some hot and heavy tryst (which consisted of him sleeping while the "other woman" sat in a chair staring at him) in his room, and punched the old biddie out.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 569
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 5/9/2019 10:28:46 AM
SS4544Spd, thanks for your words. It made me happy to read what you wrote. Interestingly, I tried learning to play the guitar when I was 15 but I just got too frustrated with it. Not only that, but my guitar teacher was too attractive and I was a nervous wreck trying to learn. I've always been a writer, found it always easier to express myself with words on paper. Joni Mitchell is one of my favourite singers of all time and she comes from Saskatchewan as well. And I sing, am actually a pretty good singer, although these days I only get to sing to my kids.

I know I aggravate some people on here but I choose to keep posting replies to various topics and at times I overshare in hopes that other people share things too. I use this as kind of a place to get my thoughts out and I welcome the replies, even the negative ones, because it helps me to figure my feelings out and I hope it gets other people who might be feeling the same things to think.
 grover14
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 570
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 5/9/2019 10:54:57 AM
SS454, that's a good one! Grover time. I like that. In the mean time, I'll just have to keep looking. Just had a friend ask if I meet any women at all the car shows and cruise ins I go to. Are you kidding? It's all car guys. Ladies, if you want to meet single guys, go to car shows!
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 571
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 5/9/2019 11:36:33 AM
^^^
Ladies, if you want to meet single guys, go to car shows!


Sounds like as much fun as watching paint dry.
And then if you meet a guy there, he'll think you actually LIKE car shows.

Such a dilemna~
 FFS38
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 572
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 5/9/2019 11:55:12 AM
Clyt

And then if you meet a guy there, he'll think you actually LIKE car shows.

Such a dilemna~


No, then you work on him, start to tell him you don't actually like car shows, then he realises he was only going because he was single
and you live happily ever after.
 grover14
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 573
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 5/9/2019 1:18:36 PM
Well, you can always go to a bar and meet some boozed up biker.
Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 5/9/2019 3:39:03 PM

Sounds like as much fun as watching paint dry.
And then if you meet a guy there, he'll think you actually LIKE car shows.

Such a dilemna~


Oddly enough, many women here love car shows and motorcycle shows.

But I'm with you. I've got no use for either one, myself.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 575
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 5/9/2019 6:27:36 PM
^^^
We have a big car show here once a year. It's loads of fun. I believe it may be quite different than the shows that you folks are talking about.
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