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 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 51
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Women always wanting men quite taller than themPage 3 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

Seriously? Has this not been done to death?

Naw... I think we could add a few inches to it. ;)

Is it just something that seems to be more prevalent in us older more mature crowd?

I do not think so at all. If anything, I would think a guy's going to have more leeway with older (Over 45) women on height. That said, there's always going to be a deal breaker with basically every gal. You're just much less apt to find ladies with crazy deal-breakers, as that will be more often found in gals 20-40 (ex: 5'2" gal wanting a guy 6 foot+).

I come across a lot of profiles where the women is directly saying she wants a man taller than her by a significant amount

So a gal around 5'5.5" wanting a guy 5'9" or taller. Average Caucasian gal tends to be around 5'4.5" -- so a gal about an inch taller than average wanting a guy at least 5'9" isn't out of the norm. He'd be a little taller than she in standard 3" heels.

Just wondering as it's a common sub-theme for rejections and non-interest.

Of course it is a common marker for lack of (sexual) interest. The level to "pass" will vary, though. But ONLINE, it's the most Stringent. They never met you; you're a stranger. The Least Stringent is (aside from your height) you'd be at least a little out of her league + nicely in-shape with broad shoulders.

Arent most men taller than women anyway? So why all the fuss if a woman prefers it?

Because the main uber-common preference, for gals of all types, is that they at least prefer (if not strongly prefer) a guy who's both Not the shorter guy in the room -- And taller than she is in her commonly used shoes/heels. When you look on Match -- you'll notice that the difference between a reasonably cute every day gal who's 5'4" and 5'7" really isn't that much different in their minimum height standards on a guy. There's not even a uniform 3" taller-than-she trend. So it's more of an uphill battle for the shorter guy (no pun intended).

Women only ask for tall. What they want is a man who can project a sense of presence. Like Carly Simon used to say, "You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht."

Yes, IRL a shorter guy's odds are different. But on a profile with a picture of himself at 5'5" standing next to a yaht -- not so much. :)

IRL, in the right environments where applicable (key), yes, projecting a certain presence can change things up. Notably with gals who have over-inflated tastes as their 'standard'. Popularity/wealthy/fame obviously plays a role to overcome that, so a certain presence can lean toward that in a certain way. Social connections are big, too.

But Online, different story. You're more a stat sheet. Which is why notably short guys who are social do better IRL than online.
 AnxiousCrustacean
Joined: 12/17/2018
Msg: 52
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/19/2019 8:02:18 AM
As I can only speak for myself, ahem, I find myself bucking the usual stereotypical answer and announcing that I, AnxiousCrustacean, have always preferred men around my own height of 5'6".

And in a mixture of OLD and IRL dating, my statistics don't vary greatly. I've had relationships with men both shorter and taller than me. I'd guesstimate the range at around 5'3" to 5'9".

It's just a more comfortable difference for me. Too tall and it begins to feel like scaling a mountain; just not my thing.

But if I found a mountain who made my very soul sing, I'd climb. As said by others, it's just a preference not a necessity.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 53
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/19/2019 8:27:13 AM
I didn't realize height was a problem until I came here.
Most of the people in my life are short.
But I guess height is to men what weight is to women...
at least in here.

I'm a little over 5'3 so most people are at least my height.
Too many other things to look for and worry about, height
isn't one of them for me.



Naw... I think we could add a few inches to it. ;)


*giggle snort* :12:
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 54
Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/19/2019 10:27:14 AM

I didn't realize height was a problem until I came here.
either did I! fully aware of it now though.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 55
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/19/2019 10:46:04 AM

I don't know how this got into a discussion of height but I will say that enormous breasts that hang near to the waist when unencumbered have never appeared attractive to me. A photo of a very large breasted woman will be flat chested lying on her back until you look under her arm pits.....lol.


This was uncalled for. I apologize to all.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 56
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/19/2019 1:55:39 PM
I guess everyone has the right to brag about their assets if they wish to. Sorry.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 57
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/19/2019 2:10:44 PM

I guess everyone has the right to brag about their assets if they wish to. Sorry.


BUT apparently lying about them is not O.K. - At least, a lie that can be proven wrong.

Ladies -- here's a question to think about...
If guys HAVE to be brutally honest about their height, should women have to be brutally honest about their bra size?
Can't pad them or use pushups to exaggerate it - because that would be 'Lying'. True size is true size.
It's just a number, right?
But how would you feel if 85% of the guys would totally ignore you because of being a cup size or two 'too small'?
It would be a number you could actually plug into a search result to weed out the skinny minis or the BBW types.
Is there any logic in that math? Sounds really kind of selfish, doesn't it? But hey, that's just what guys "want"...

I'm not saying that's remotely true for ALL men - guys like what they like, and those preferences come in all sizes - but how does it feel to be mechanically separated by a number and mostly ignored for that reason? You can change all kinds of other stuff in your profile - pictures, words, even age - nothing seems to change, but cheat a little on your boob size, and you get twice as many messages coming in. What does that tell you about online dating? How does that make you feel about being truthful in your profile?

NONE of that even involves the rejection that can STILL happen when you show up for a date, and the person across the table gets that, "Who farted?" look.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 58
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/19/2019 3:02:42 PM

If guys HAVE to be brutally honest about their height, should women have to be brutally honest about their bra size?

That is comparing apples & oranges, but yes, both have the ability to lie. However, bra size entered into a profile doesn't exist outside Here-For-Sex sites. But I believe why even a casual dating site wouldn't have that in there among other personal stats would be due to the reason that women's waist-line #s are Purposely Low. Esteem / feeling judged sensitivities.

Can't pad them or use pushups to exaggerate it - because that would be 'Lying'. True size is true size.

Yes, but you have two factors: The # + cup size. It's multi-dimensional. Then you have another factor -- firmness VS what the other poster pointed out, hanging-really-low when the bra is undone.

Women using bras to enhance the size & shape of their breasts is OK no matter what, guys wearing boot-shoes or the like that makes him taller is Not Okay (if he's short). That's the social contradiction that does exist.

The reason I say it's apples & oranges is because: (a) Breast size & shape is multi-dimensional. The #, cup-size and density. (b) The guy height is a self-comparison + comparison to other guys; the other is more basic; (c) It's not just the Norm, but quite predictable a guy is going to roll after a very cute new gal who seems to have smaller breasts; it's Not the norm that a gal is going to roll with a(n otherwise) very cute new guy who is shorter than she.

The guy has the shorter end of the stick. ;) But socially, much like guys a vast majority of the time having to approach, make the first moves in calling and everything else, expecting to pay, etc -- it is what it is, just-because, "don't criticize". :)

What does that tell you about online dating? How does that make you feel about being truthful in your profile?

What we Actually do gravitate to and what we don't many times may not be that accurate -- notably from the Online perspective. I cannot blame a guy who ups his height in his profile, and wears boot-shoes to become roughly that height IRL when a gals' pics can certainly over-inflate their top-size -- as long as the gals he hits up are Reasonable within his height.

AN INTERESTING ARTICLE WITH SOME STATS:
https://www.revelist.com/dating/women-dating-short-men/11939/------------------of-course-not-all-women-consider-height-to-be-a-major-factor/7

Bear in mind, when you refer to Famous People, things change. A regular guy in the dating field can't use that as his measuring stick when it comes to shorter (famous) guys getting a gal.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 59
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/19/2019 3:16:46 PM
Dude, you are wayyyyy over-thinking this... the purpose of that Thought Experiment was to give women a perspective on how guys are discriminated by a number they can't really control. I wasn't trying to think logistically about making it a reality. Boob size has been cosmetically altered for the last 1000 years in a bazillion different ways. The idea of a trend of being completely 'honest' about it really happening - including my own man-boobs - is absurd.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 60
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/19/2019 3:22:32 PM

Am I the only one who thinks that the very premise of this thread is completely untrue?


The only thing untrue is the "always" part.
Should have been "ALMOST always".

There are a few enlightened souls here and there who realize that height is one of the least important traits necessary for a deep and fulfilling relationship.


Women only ask for tall.


Not in SoCal.
Many demand it.

The most extreme example so far was this first sentence in a late 40's aged woman's About Me:

MUST BE AT LEAST FEET TALL, AND NO, 5' 11 and 1/2" IS NOT SIX FEET TALL! (yes, in all caps)


Arent most men taller than women anyway? So why all the fuss if a woman prefers it?


It's the "obsession" with it.
As though a deep fulfilling relationship between a man and a woman is not possible without it.
Making it a "requirement", not just a "preference".

Those 2 words are not synonymous.
"Preference" is first choice, implying another choice is possible.
"Requirement" is the only choice, nothing else acceptable. (see the example above)
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 61
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/20/2019 6:51:20 AM

Offline, average ordinary men may have a relatively better chance because a woman may get to know him over a period of time and vice versa. But with OLD, these men may often not have a chance to show their personality. They are often immediately dismissed because of their height or education level or they don't have the greatest looking pictures. Just like many men may turn down a woman because of her weight or pictures.


Adding on to this, it's no coincidence I got more emails and dates when I added new and better pictures of myself. OLD is largely about pictures and stats for initial interest.

Also I never said men that aren't rich, famous, or powerful can't get dates offline. I simply said that some women are more interested in men with these traits. Sometimes that can compensate for a man being short or less physically attractive. Just like sometimes having a good personality can compensate for a relative lack of height or looks when a woman gets to know a man over time offline.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 62
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/20/2019 12:04:21 PM
Well, for shorter men there’s always Asian women. They don’t judge so much by height. Women who only date men much taller than them have it much harder - they have to compete for the taller men’s attention.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 63
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/20/2019 12:22:20 PM
GodlessGal boasts:
BTW: My cleavage looks good from EVERY angle.


This is funny…yes, but we only see an angle or two, so we would not know that. Do you have data, to um, support this udderly audacious claim?

I mean, how can you really quantify the way your cleaveage looks from EVERY angle…? That’s a lotta angles. EVERY angle would take a 360 degree sphere-view from which to generate assessments.

I will admit it would be fun though, to collect that data.

AnxiousCrustacean announced:
As I can only speak for myself, ahem, I find myself bucking the usual stereotypical answer and announcing that I, AnxiousCrustacean, have always preferred men around my own height of 5'6".
Thank you for that announcement. But being a shrimp, it’s understandable why you prefer shorter than average men.

Fullmoonguy wrote:
MUST BE AT LEAST FEET TALL
Doesn't seem picky to me. Can’t all men meet this requirement? Every man in the universe over 1 foot tall can say he’s “feet" tall and not lie, can't they?

Dan wrote:
If guys HAVE to be brutally honest about their height, should women have to be brutally honest about their bra size?
Can't pad them or use pushups to exaggerate it - because that would be 'Lying'. True size is true size.
It's just a number, right?
I see no reason why a guy couldn’t place a bra/breast size qualification/characterization requirement in their profile. And require that, on the first date, the data must be validated. After all, mens’ height is quantified on that first date, isn’t it?
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 64
Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/20/2019 12:35:22 PM

I see no reason why a guy couldn’t place a bra/breast size qualification/characterization requirement in their profile. And require that, on the first date, the data must be validated. After all, mens’ height is quantified on that first date, isn’t it?
actually had a date call me out on that once! went out to the truck and grabbed a tape measure and proved my height, then left her standing in the lobby.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 65
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/20/2019 2:02:26 PM
My last partner had DDD’s. After her, I could never go back to dating a woman with a C-cup size.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 66
Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/20/2019 2:38:57 PM

My last partner had DDD’s. After her, I could never go back to dating a woman with a C-cup size.
they don't do a thing for me, A's and B's suit me fine.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 67
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/20/2019 2:44:27 PM
It's true. I prefer a man taller than myself. I am 5'2".

It isn't a tall order.

*rimshot*
I'll be here all night. Please tip your bartenders and servers!
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 68
Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/20/2019 3:05:08 PM

It's true. I prefer a man taller than myself. I am 5'2".

It isn't a tall order.
taller or at least 6'? I preffer women shorter than myself but minimum 10" shorter doesn't appeal to me.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 69
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/20/2019 3:17:02 PM
^^^
Taller.

Messages this short may not be posted
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 70
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/20/2019 4:06:05 PM
“I didn't realize height was a problem until I came here.”

Funny thing is, I’ve been noticeably shorter than other boys (and most girls) since late elementary and still didn’t realize height was a problem (with women) until I was a couple of years into college. Even then, it wasn’t until a couple years past college when I came to understand just how bad it was. And again, I am a short male and have almost always been so. Thing is, until you’re TOLD that’s the reason you’re being rejected, you don’t know. And although I was rejected hundreds of times prior to my late college years, it wasn’t until then that women started telling me that was the reason.

You also have to realize, most of us in these forums (you and I included) grew up in the pre-internet era, so all these statistics and articles and dating website info about why people get rejected for dates wasn’t out there like it is now. I doubt very seriously a present day short 16-year-old boy won’t know he’s got a tough life ahead because of his height, but I seriously had no idea when I was 16. The information just wasn’t out there, and that was not the reason girls were giving me for rejections (at my high school, it was 99% race-related, but other short men’s rejection experience may vary).

Furthermore, during the adolescent years, girls have far less issues with height, because heights are all over the place at that age and they haven’t been fully indoctrinated into “short = bad” or had bad experiences dating short men they chalk up to the men’s height – I worked at movie theaters on weekends for years in my 20s and 30s and got hit on by lots of teenage girls (partially because my face looks so young), whereas I count on my fingers of one hand the number of times a woman in her mid-20s or older has flirted with me.

It seems counterintuitive that height becomes more important as women age (up to a point) considering how shallow most people think teenagers are, but teenagers are also VERY experimental because they don’t know what all they want/like/dislike yet. Dating a short guy might seem cool, until a girl dates a guy a foot taller than her and suddenly “Oh, I *love* this.” Not saying guys are any different, as K-Ice also crassly points out: early on I was just happy dating any woman, because no women would date me throughout high school and college, but after dating a couple of attractive women, I found it very difficult to go back to dating women I didn't find attractive, even though I was excited to be with them when I was younger.

So anyway I’m not so surprised when older guys (of any height) claim they were surprised to learn later in life that short male height is a problem, but I am a little more surprised when women say it. Having had female best friends since college, I’ve both heard/overheard them and their friends talk a lot about what they like in men and directly been told by them what they like... and height is frequently close to the top of the list. Don’t get me wrong – they’ll deliver the usual BS about how being “funny” and “kind” and “smart” and blah blah blah are so important, but wait until a really tall guy walks into the bar and watch them all melt and talk about how tall and hot he is. I’ve never once seen that happen with a short guy when I’m with my short female best friend of 20 years.

Furthermore, listen to them talk about their sons or their friends’ sons or nephews or what have you – they talk in such positive fashion about the tall ones (and I mean, their height, not just about them in general), but then they start expressing concern about the ones that are short and if they’re old enough to still be growing, express hope that they will grow some more. I’m having trouble remembering ever being in a conversation with a bunch of guys in which height (male or female) came up (unless it was about a sport), but I can remember so many women-dominated conversations about it that they all start blending together. I even pointed this out to my best friend once and she actually tried to stop bringing it up in conversations around me afterwards.


Dating website forums are a gathering place for the rejected – I mean, if most of us had something better to do, I don’t think we’d be here (there are exceptions). And short men are highly disproportionately single, so it’s not surprising that there are so many of them in the forums and therefore this topic comes up quite frequently. Furthermore, dating websites themselves are a key source, if not THE key source, of that “short men = bad” feedback loop, because it’s right there in a large percentage of the profiles you come across. In real life, most guys don’t frequently see or hear women’s preferences (I am an exception, since my best friends are all female). But the second you log into OLD, one or two profiles in, there it is: MOST WOMEN THINK YOU ARE AN INFERIOR HUMAN. 10 minutes later, you’re in the forums complaining, and women (and some men) are whining about you complaining.

That’s the circle of life, my friends.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 71
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/20/2019 4:41:11 PM
We grew up hearing the tall, dark and handsome mantra. Recently I re-watched River of No Return. In it Marilyn's character sings a song about staking her claim on a man,

"And what I want, I'm ready to name
It's big and strong and handsome and it's six feet tall
I'm gonna file my claim."

I agree with hawking that in school we really didn't have that much of an option and didn't know what we were "missing". Fortunately some of us do figure it out. We're the lucky ones because when not limiting ourselves we get to meet even more really great guys.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 72
Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/20/2019 5:03:46 PM

We grew up hearing the tall, dark and handsome mantra
was thinking that as i read his post. heard it often but not once did it click that i wasn't that! only after OLD was i aware of my inferiority.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 73
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/20/2019 9:35:45 PM
I've always found odd that many tall men go after short women. My sister was 5'8". One of the many things I admired about her was that she didn't mind short men as long as they weren't bothered by her heels.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 74
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/21/2019 5:52:15 AM
"We grew up hearing the tall, dark and handsome mantra."

Certainly that was not helpful, but as far as socialization and perceptions are concerned, I have an even worse problem: I grew up in the era of the most famous short men of color being complete jokes -- Gary Coleman and Emmanuel Lewis. That was the one sign in my childhood that my height was going to be a problem, and I got called "Webster" and "Arnold Jackson" all the time by my classmates, which I thought was more a racist thing than a heightist thing. But looking back, I realized women my age were socialized by those shows to believe that men like me were something to laugh at, and probably helps explain why I've never had a date with a woman close to my age regardless of where I lived in the U.S. Younger women didn't grow up with those shows and don't seem to associate me with them anywhere near as much as my peers.

“I've always found odd that many tall men go after short women.”

I don’t think this is very accurate. Tall men, just like short men, go after ATTRACTIVE women, and in tall men’s cases, it’s almost always regardless of height. If anything, tall guys are probably more attracted to tall women, because most men (regardless of height) find long sexy legs attractive. Rather, I think you have it backwards: short women go after tall men. And what women want, women usually get, especially attractive women. Men may very well appear to be the aggressors but women often initiate with eye contact and other non-verbal cues, and they obviously ultimately make the decision as the whether anything is going to happen, regardless of who “started” it. Ten guys of every height might come up to a short woman at a bar during the night, and the one she most positively responds to is one of the tallest – meanwhile, those guys are just going after whomever they consider attractive, regardless of height, which as nearly all studies say and most men will tell you, doesn't matter very much at all to them (most short men, me included, would date an attractive tall woman without a second thought if she'd let him -- though most certainly, having a woman closer to your own height is less awkward in almost every way, but I would not throw a fashion supermodel out of my bed).

My best friend met her current husband at work, but it wasn’t a completely “natural” development like some work relationships: she was already working at the place when they hired him and posted a picture of him on our company message board as they do with all new hires, and I remember standing next to her when she first saw that picture and she actually said to me: “Do you think he’s cute?” And I’m like, “Uh, I’m a hetero dude – I don’t judge other dudes!” She just kind of ignored me and followed up with: “I think he’s pretty hot. When he gets here, I’m gonna introduce myself to him.” To this day (nearly 20 years later), I have no idea if he knows that side of the story. Maybe he just thought she was introducing herself as just a regular friendly new co-worker thing. Fact was, she was out on the hunt.

This isn’t really a story about height, although she is as short as I am and he’s like 6’3”, so indeed a foot taller than her but that’s not something she knew until after she met him since the photo was just a headshot. But the point is, the woman initiated the whole relationship, possibly without the man even realizing it – from an outsider’s perspective, it possibly looked like a tall man went after a short woman, when in reality, the short woman went after the tall man, and she was attractive enough for him to follow through. Undoubtedly this happens a lot, including many cases in which the short woman knew in advance the man’s height and was attracted to it.

Tall women probably do have some disadvantages in this game, beyond just the obvious fact that statistics are not in their favor: a 5’10” woman whose romantic interests HAVE to be taller than her can only pursue about 50% of men (or even far less if heels matter), whereas 5’0” woman can pursue 100% of men if she wants. But undoubtedly, fairly or not, tall women are perceived by many to be overly aggressive and maybe even a little masculine, which might turn a significant amount of tall men off – they are in a similar boat to short men, who are often perceived to have Napoleon complexes, maybe even feminine and childlike, even if they have the exact same personality as a tall man who doesn’t get labeled those things. Regardless, it doesn’t take very many tall man-short woman pairings to throw the entire “pairing system” off and leave many short men and tall women without very many “realistic” options for years at a time. Long time ago I had this really tall white female friend (6 feet!) who reminded me of black women that were always expressing annoyance with black man-white woman pairings because it left them with so few good black man options – this tall girl would grumble similarly every time she saw a tall attractive guy with a short woman. I suppose theoretically I should also grumble every time I see such a pairing, but at this point in life... I just don’t really care anymore. My life is what it is.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 75
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/21/2019 7:49:34 AM
Maybe it's because I'm wicked old...before OLD, before facebook
with pictures plastered everywhere.

We used to meet people in real life and I don't think other than the first
impression we all take in, we didn't scrutinize their height/weight or in some cases
even their age. It was possible to not know how old someone was and if interested
you had to ask.

The "tall, dark and handsome" thing, at least in my world, was mostly in movies,
sports and fairy tales. It wasn't something that was important to everyday life.

Speaking for myself, I think now I notice people more, and when you add to it the
possibility of a "shopping list", you start thinking of building the perfect person...
sort of like build-a-bear I guess...hahahahaha!

But, after meeting some really sucky galore people, I've realized that looks and
height are wayyyy down on my list of priorities. Maybe if I were younger (and still
wanting to have kids), my priorities would be different.

Although some might snort and think otherwise, I'm not at all envious of those
younger and prettier than me looking to make a match with their forever person.
I'm happy to find a right now person. Mostly a person that doesn't make me
change into someone I don't want to be. We all adapt to our environment and
situation...and I just don't want to adapt anymore.

I can't believe that it's your height that is keeping you single, Mr. Hawking. You are
very attractive, you're smart and you are extremely articulate, which I assume means
you are also well read. Someone such as yourself should also have high self esteem
and confidence...which used to be a highly sought after commodity.

I'm sorry you seem to have given up...but I do wish you the best and hope good things
happen to you soon.
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