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 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 126
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Women always wanting men quite taller than themPage 6 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

AdventureJoe said something about how someone from NYC would do in flyover country and vice versa. Something about how he could stand on a corner in Manhattan and see more appealing women in an hour than a year in the flyover spot? Obviously the mid American visiting NYC would do better because he would see so many women worth approaching (might get rejected/ignored by a high percentage, but could eventually find a willing one), while the Manhattanite wouldn't try because he wouldn't see anyone he liked.

Basically yeah! The so called pick up artists(PUA) spam their trade in NYC, Toronto(they started there I heard) and London. A lot of them are just "GOOD" because they run the numbers. They have unlimited chances. Even a broken clock is lucky twice per day!But they handle rejection well, or must do so. Problem is that on POF we have many members whining because they are ONLY interested in complaining of poor results because they quantify their successes based on %. I understand that indeed. We have had members state they score only 5% of the time so they should give up. That is nonsense. If you score only 5% of the time that means you have a chance, 5%. So just suck up the 95% rejection rate and you are a winner. These members just don't get it. They failed math?(not talking about Hawking in this section btw).

Another point about Tinder. You really have to strike fast. I mean if I don't return message immediately close to when I got match , most likely I was lost in all the other matches that gal made.
the sheltered gentrified people who stick to a limited routine at coffee shops as in 90s sitcoms.
Today that population , if in lower Manhattan or the boroughs is mostly guys who lived and grew up in other states tha came for the "life". They aren't real NYers. We ignore those people lol. We used to joke how all the characters on "how I met you mom" boasted every episode how they are NYers but except for one of them, they were all from someplace else.

Obviously the mid American visiting NYC would do better because he would see so many women worth approaching (might get rejected/ignored by a high percentage, but could eventually find a willing one), while the Manhattanite wouldn't try because he wouldn't see anyone he liked.

Some large cities are just not my type. Atlanta , for example, had very few as a % that I found attractive.


An ad for a Ferarri, or any other car, isn’t just a laundry list of attributes. There’s the emotional factor, showing the car racing along the roads, the driver swooshing around curves..ie, what’s possible with this car…what’s fun and exciting about it. It provokes interest and/or emotion.

That is a well written analogy! It is the emotional reaction that makes the sale.
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 127
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/1/2019 12:47:14 PM
for the sake of debate, not arguing :) and also, Hawking, sorry to hear about your recent turn of events. best of luck with the near future.

i agree with the fellows who talk about asking women out for dates and fun, not marriage (not wanting kids, i do not seek marriage). except i'm sick of "just dating", where i pay and then get ghosted by the woman who sleeps with someone else. "and fun" sounds nice. but i find that if i treat women well, make them comfortable, and focus on their pleasures, they tend to want more than just a FWB. I believe Julystorm mentioned wanting more from her's, and a few people--NG may have been one--suggested its normal for women to want more than just fun, so it seems to be a theme. perhaps the trick is to not let a woman see our charms :)

as for single women and their education levels...about a third achieve college degrees, and median income is $35,000. there's a reason feminists fight for the availibity of birth control, and reproduction rights, and et cetera...its not fun raising a family with those hurdles. can it be done? sure. i've worked and dated some who did well, and known others who did not.

https://singlemotherguide.com/single-mother-statistics/

perhaps i didn't make it clear--i don't avoid women who are single moms, i avoid situations that will take me to places i don't feel like going. and yes, some of those are single moms who will fall for me and invite me into a scenario where i play surrogate daddy. does it make me chicken? i dunno, i've asked out a lot of women, so i guess its all up for debate :) i've already tried out what i don't like, and so i recognize its clues and i avoid it.

"The so called pick up artists(PUA) spam their trade in NYC, Toronto(they started there I heard) and London."

>>>they also do Vegas, Miami, and LA's Sunset Strip. what do these cities share in population? generally, they are where people go to "become" someone. they invite the eccentrics who respond well to "peac0cking". They are full of Playboy bunnies and neo-celebrities. playgrounds for the "famous for being famous" types. now, i'm not saying this cities are full of them, but they have a larger population of them and are easier to find.

"A lot of them are just "GOOD" because they run the numbers."

>>>Neil Strauss, who writes about them, also notices how many are physically attractive :) But yes, if you fish for women who are all about appearance, and then neg their appearance, you will be fishing in just the right waters for the numbers to work.

 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
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my son is 6' 5"
Posted: 3/1/2019 12:57:04 PM
i rarely had relationships while raising my son.. different times i was celibate, others quasi pursued a real relationship and other times just for fun... very rarely did my son interact with anybody i had involvement with..I chose as having a great job/career with health benefits to be a single mother... if i had not such i would have been a mother..
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
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my son is 6' 5
Posted: 3/1/2019 1:20:50 PM
the single mothers i "interacted" with, always had me over on the weekends their children were with biological dad or grandparents. and i understand why. would i like a partner with more control over their free time? i suspect most of us would. a partner who blows my mind, obviously i'll make concessions--that cost is well worth paying.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 130
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/1/2019 2:39:41 PM

Not accusing you of plagiarism lol. But there are many profiles with similar content.

Discounting bringing the favorite raccoon to the drive-in on a 1st date idea (and of course discounting requiring kissing when kissing is on screen) -- in no way shape or form did I think there was any trend on profiles about people keeping a herd of wildlife varmits in their house and letting them out, and herding them back into the basement. I do not believe this is a trend, call me crazy. :)

But based on members who actually posted pics of models in the top 1% and decent profiles that resulted in less than a 50% response rate, that shows the majority weren't being hooked by photo's alone.

I don't believe so at all. You basically look at the response rate of objectively Great looks VS average-Joe. OKC did an analysis on this -- which to me is seemingly common sense -- where the great looking guy got WAY more responses than everyone else. But yes, his wasn't close to every gal -- true. But every other guy was Way Lower. That's the point. Same profile, different pics. Of course, it's main point, if memory serves me correct -- is the Hot Gal's profile got a massively higher response, than a Hot Guy (who crushes all other guys). And the average Jane crushes most other guys. Basically -- girls have the upper hand but take it for granted (weirdo/creepy guys being part of that reason, I imagine).

Besides my comment was in defense to the statement that it is easier for me or you since I know for a fact I am not in the top 1% of NYC men. I can't speak for you in Fort Wayne.

I'm not living in Ft Wayne anymore, but I will say any regular-sized city will have a tougher time getting a gal online VS a megapolois like Chicago/NY/LA. I go to bigger-than mid-sized cities like Indy, and to yuge ones like Chicago -- and it is easier when I visit hitting the online game (and at the bars; in Chicago the ratio is quite good; higher % of independent women than in cities with minor league ball clubs).

More to spread around to YES, but the guys using the same strategy of sending messages to every attractive girl means ALOT more men sending each women messages.

But let's go backwards. Go to a small town. Less chance of cumming across a hot gal, and way more chance of her mailbox being flooded by all the boys in town. I think the only convincing point to make is that living in the BIG BIG city isn't quite as puppy-dogs & ice-cream as one may think. But compared to other places, it's Definitely Better. Culture plays a role too. In smaller cities you have a higher % of gals heeding the 'online thing', where bigger cities are more culturally modern where it's not such a negative + more independent women.

Actually, In NYC Tinder is too much work. I will explain. Basically guys have to delete and create a new account every 3-4 days to work it here.

Never had to do that in Chicago, but haven't asked about the current Tinder Trick or anything like that out there. When I've gone out there I've gotten matches -- it's not like I ran into a brick wall. But maybe it put me "new" to the area, stepping in? Dunno.

I think in a Yuge city, say you have an insta-pic-crush on an individual gal. After relieving oneself of sexual tension, ya then write her and focus on her. Yes, I can understand that's going to be Darn hard to get. You'll hold your breath longer than in a mid-sized city. But I'm talking about playing the #s all around -- not caring about any one individual.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/1/2019 4:49:01 PM

Never had to do that in Chicago, but haven't asked about the current Tinder Trick or anything like that out there. When I've gone out there I've gotten matches -- it's not like I ran into a brick wall. But maybe it put me "new" to the area, stepping in? Dunno.

Oh it does. POF puts you in new category when you update and change zip code and Tinder does it when it location searches a new area, or it did. This was a PITA often because a large bunch of the women I would swipe would be listed as over 1k miles away later in the day. Live near a big international airport and see what happens. I think similar thing happened to Riverrat. I guess that would encourage men to buy the service and get unlimited?
 am70sguy
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 132
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/2/2019 1:14:55 AM
I think there is a cookie glitch because once in a while after logging in will see a bunch of profiles from old area and not new one.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 133
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/2/2019 8:03:11 PM
We like what we like and we want what we want. Me, I am a boobies man. No boobies, no date.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 134
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/3/2019 9:32:40 AM
Exactly. For me, not taller than me = no date.

It always comes down to a certain question: Would you rather be alone or accept a quality different than what you desire? Its like really wanting ice cream but not being able to afford the brand you really like. Will you settle for the cheap brand which still tastes good and satisfies or will you just say f-it and forgo ice cream altogether?

The pool of fish I have to choose from in my rural surroundings is small. This is why I keep trying fish that I know aren't optimal for me but I keep trying new fish in hope that one tastes better. And who knows, maybe one day one will. I recognize that I'm not likely any guy's optimal date either and there's likely things we'll both need to compromise on.

I know I can't date men shorter than me. I tried and its just too much of an anti-attractant. There are plenty of women who are shorter than short men and its jot my fault they are aiming for the guys that are taller than me. But if I can find a taller guy who is kind (to me that is the number one quality necessary) I will definitely give him a chance.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/3/2019 11:10:34 AM

I know I can't date men shorter than me. I tried and its just too much of an anti-attractant. There are plenty of women who are shorter than short men and its not my fault they are aiming for the guys that are taller than me.


Just to be clear before a few dozen women chime in with, "Me Too" - the point the original poster was bringing up was the standard drawn of "quite" taller -- if you translate centimeters to inches, he's basically stating women draw the line at ABOVE average or taller. Nobody in here is insisting women need to shop for shorter guys than themselves - the realization that our genders tend to match up a few inches different is like water being wet.

What stinks the most, especially in the mechanical separation of online search engines, is refusing to date someone OTHER than a 'superior' match many falsely discriminate down to their 'equal'. You are not a 'victim' of bad dating when you refuse to acknowledge 3/4 of the possibilities out there. You are gambling on attraction, hoping that it equates to a good character.

The pool of fish we have to choose from is NO better for men than women -- we are all swimming in the same pool. We BOTH shop around to feed our vanity. But guys are being compelled to 'make the move' first almost ALL the time -- so we are going to make invites open to a helluva lot more options because we NEED to do it to find a match. It does not mean we do not have discriminating tastes - but no reply is NO REPLY, so we have to move on - and expand our search somewhat. People who fall below that 15% 'superior' line end up frustrated and discouraged a lot. Some because they get ignored, some because they are ignorant and believe they deserve 'better' - when 'better' simply does not exist. THOSE should be the target market of the vitriol coming out in endless threads like these.


It always comes down to a certain question: Would you rather be alone or accept a quality different than what you desire? Its like really wanting ice cream...

If you are hungry enough, you won't care. There are STILL flavors out there you have not tried yet - I guarantee it. Don't assume you know what is 'best' because that is what you DESIRE. Ice cream isn't good for anyone anyway - It's a sweet indulgence, whatever flavor or brand you might want. Deciding on a good restaurant based on the dessert won't matter when you get food poisoning from the salad, or the flu from dirty silverware.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 136
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/3/2019 6:47:30 PM
Yes most women prefer a taller man. But a well built man with other assets can compensate for lack of height.
Just need to go for the petite Asian women..... I guess..
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 137
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/4/2019 2:44:43 PM

Exactly. For me, not taller than me = no date.

Which is pretty much for all women. The jar tightens or includes him needing to be at least a couple inches taller (if not 3-4 if she's not a tall gal) if it's someone she Doesn't Know, like online.

Will you settle for the cheap brand which still tastes good and satisfies or will you just say f-it and forgo ice cream altogether?

Actually, I'd go for the ice cream that still tastes good rather than saying f-u to ice cream. If that's all it is to you -- then dating a 'short guy' has underlying layers beyond just raw/surface attraction. Especially when you're open/desiring not-so-serious dating given your current situation.

I know I can't date men shorter than me.

Whether it's Needing a guy 6'0" or taller, or a guy who can't be noticeably taller -- and for whatever reason, if it's a Need and freaks ya out, yeah, there's nothing you can do in the immediate sense or anything close to it. Although as a side note, gals can be conditioned to be more comfortable with height differences. Usually requires a great guy with other great attributes (physical build & otherwise), while not having the Feeling that he sticks out at all as smaller or anything.

the point the original poster was bringing up was the standard drawn of "quite" taller -- if you translate centimeters to inches, he's basically stating women draw the line at ABOVE average or taller. Nobody in here is insisting women need to shop for shorter guys than themselves

True. One thing I noticed from her post though as her main opening point right there: "Not taller than me = no date". The guy can be roughly the same height but "not taller". Then she noted guys shorter than she, which there is a difference. In the end, the first line pretty much lays it out. The only question is -- he needs to be taller than she... in heels or no? Roughly the same height if she's decked out in Really High heels, but standard 2-3 inches, at least be a shade above?
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/4/2019 10:27:59 PM
Women want men who are taller than them.

Men don't want women who are wider then themselves.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/5/2019 8:27:05 AM
Many tall women don't wear heels. We just learned years ago that it adds on too much height and we try not to look taller. I don't really live in a place where you typically see very many women in heels though to begin with. Maybe young women at a club or women 50+ who work as secretaries and can't imagine themselves heel-less. But by and large,casual and practical footwear is the trend now. I rarely see heels in summer, although in winter there are a lot of women who wear boots with heels but that's only outdoors and the snow tends to de-emphasize height.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/5/2019 11:36:19 AM

Men don't want women who are wider then themselves.

That's a more fitting comparison. Although if the guy is thin, he's not necessarily going to need a gal as thin as he; especially if he's taller than her, as she can still not be a wide gal at all, but gym built or even 'curvy' in a good way. That's where I'd see the difference as opposed to mere height. There's shape & texture to everything. But if he ain't slender -- and she's noticeably wider than he -- his attraction's going to be lacking.

Many tall women don't wear heels. We just learned years ago that it adds on too much height and we try not to look taller.

You shouldn't speak for all women. A good comparison when it comes to this topic -- women & men putting their foot forward to attract others, like being "out" -- one will notice it's Very Very common tall women will wear heels. It's all over the place. And many tall women (5'7.5"+) note a complaint about dating a short guy as lack of freedom to wear heels. The best you can say is that Of the gals going-out who aren't wearing heels -- yeah, you'll find a higher % being of the taller variety.

snow tends to de-emphasize height.

I have no idea why you think that. Otherwise, girls would be saying they aren't into guys a bit shorter than they are -- unless it's winter. And shorter guys would be saying that they're sick of summer when the height difference shows it's true colors. I don't know where you're coming up with that theory.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/5/2019 1:59:07 PM
Sorry, I guess I was just inferring that it does. Didn't mean to make it seem like a fact.

I bet it would take you a very long time to find a woman below the age of 50 in high heels around my locale right now. Sure its winter but even in offices (which there aren't a lot of around here) most of the ladies wear flats.

I have worn high heels 3 times in my life. My high school grad, my best friend's wedding and my brother's wedding. I admit, its not because it makes me feel taller, its just that it just wasn't the trend at any time in my life. I dressed in the grunge style in the 90s with baggy jeans, tight t-shirts and runners and in my university years a lot of the ladies wore flipflops at the parties and clubs. Truthfully, in real life, since I was about 14 and the boys started catching up to me in height, it never felt like an issue (just in those gangly 11 to 13 years when the boys had yet to hit a growth spurt). Height never seemed to be an issue until POF when it seemed only short guys seemed to contact me. Even back 11 years ago when I first went on. Although I do recall many a time in real life where tall guys and all guys for that matter tended to flirt with the short ones. Short blonde ones to be precise. Actually, the tall blonde girls seemed to get attention too.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 142
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/5/2019 2:03:15 PM
Actually, now I remember the footwear all us ladies wore. Black platform clogs. Like these:
http://wheretoget.it/look/148199

I remember I felt so tall in them. And they felt so weird to walk in.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/6/2019 2:39:14 PM

I bet it would take you a very long time to find a woman below the age of 50 in high heels around my locale right now.

While it'd be easy to find women 50+ wearing heels? Odd town you live in...

I have worn high heels 3 times in my life.

That's not the norm when sifting thru the dating scene. That said though, I do notice that in more rocky & beach-oriented terrain, one will find a lower % of women wearing heels when going out. I think the in the more casual-laid-back environments where you wouldn't at all wear heels or boots (beach; beach-bars; etc), they'll still be less worn to some degree in the area at other places (at work; at a nice bar in the evening).

But I've been many places a lot. Heels in general are the Norm for gals, at least periodically when going out. And when single, one will do more of that, hence, it means more when scoping out & measuring up guys.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/6/2019 9:57:12 PM
I live in Saskatchewan where the ground tends to be rough. Sidewalks and roads are full of potholes and you need good footwear.

Older women tend to be the ones with heels because they still dress up for work. Most younger women here do not wear dressy clothes and heels to work. Many workplaces actually discourage heels. I recall going out to Vancouver and even Calgary though and noticing all the high heels and skirts. Where I live, maybe its a cultural thing not having heels, actually a woman in heels sticks out like a sore thumb here. Unless its a wedding, grad, or funeral, then women still dress up.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 145
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/7/2019 9:14:02 PM

A lot of what makes a woman gorgeous is the clothes, makeup, and hairstyle. All those take money, something I really can't afford to do. "

Stop making excuses. Thrift stores, drug store cosmetics and you tube videos on hair styles are just as effective.

Be honest with yourself. Can't change what you don't first acknowledge.


Lol, if it was a man saying he can’t afford to date I’d bet you’d be telling him to “man up” and just get a better-paying job.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/8/2019 4:37:18 AM
The fact that you're 50, short and want to move in with a couple who agree to an open relationship, I think it's more than just your height that's stopping you from meeting people.

Men your age tend to prefer women half their age and slender. They delude themselves into believing that their average existence entitles them to the pick of the litter. Other people have preferences of their own and when the deluded man can;t deal with that, pick on the fact that that a certain person's personal preference is everything wrong in the situation.

Some women prefer men with stable availability, more money (especially at your age), in better shape and yes, tallers and who who wants monogamy.
 Million_Reasons
Joined: 10/23/2018
Msg: 147
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/8/2019 5:01:08 AM
Msg: 145


"Lol, if it was a man saying he can’t afford to date I’d bet you’d be telling him to “man up” and just get a better-paying job."

That advice certainly has more probability of obtaining a desired outcome rather than just whining and making excuses on why one is unable to achieve a desired result, does it not?

Unless, of course, the true desired outcome is really to NOT date. ***know thyself....that is the key. ;)
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 148
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/8/2019 10:54:37 AM

The fact that you're 50, short and want to move in with a couple who agree to an open relationship, I think it's more than just your height that's stopping you from meeting people.

Which one are you referring to? I don't think being 50 is stopping one from merely meeting people. And if one is ideally trying to find an open-relationship couple to shack up with -- well, that could end up motivating them to meet a lot of people, actually. You'd have to turn over a lot of rocks to find that! :)

Men your age tend to prefer women half their age and slender.

Or any universally great looking gal in the eyes of a 30 year old guy too, even when he's 50. Nothing wrong with that. The problem is if they do delude themselves into thinking that they are Deserving of it. But thankfully I don't think many average-looking 50+ year old guys actually have that I-Deserve mentality when it comes to slender 25-29 year old gals. However, what does get some older gals' goat is when they do see said guys who are happier being single and mingling with younger gals VS dating (most) gals his age.

In all honesty, from my POV -- from when I was in my mid-20s to now: I've had the same mindset. If the gal is much older than me, or younger than me -- or roughly the same age -- who cares. There's been gals over 50 who were nice looking to me at 20-something, and I'd always partake. No age-bias on my part even though I'm "bad" because a gal too outside my age range I'm in position to not want to get in a Relationship with them -- but willing to hang out and have fun.

Some women prefer men with stable availability, more money (especially at your age), in better shape and yes, tallers and who who wants monogamy.

True (assuming you're referring to a guy who's out of shape + short). That said, one also can't complain that a guy wants a slender gal who looks nice, even when many gals (and guys) his age have let themselves go. It's just as "superficial".
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/8/2019 10:56:13 AM

Men your age tend to prefer women half their age and slender. They delude themselves into believing that their average existence entitles them to the pick of the litter.


Some women prefer men with stable availability, more money (especially at your age), in better shape and yes, tallers and who who wants monogamy.

So... above average availability, income, fitness, taller AND monogamous is just a "preference" and not a delusion unto itself?
How the hell can you even justify that after what you just said about guys?
Apparently leaving age out of the picture means it's OK.

Realize the smell of what you are shoveling in here, folks. Everyone in here SHOULD be cut down for having this attitude. Wanting better does not mean you deserve it, and never will. Calling it a different name when talking about another person doesn't make you something special or exceptional - it means you are denying your own faults and forcing them on others -- which I believe is what a sociopath does.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 150
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/8/2019 11:53:07 AM
People have the expectations they have and unfortunately its hard to talk yourself down into something than less than what you want. Do people end up with people with qualities they never thought they could live with in a spouse? Yes, all the time. Often one will meet someone and find an attraction there based on other qualities. There's a lot of short men out there, for example, that found a woman to love who loves them back. Its all about, luck, attitude and openmindedness. I can spout all I want on wanting a man who is taller than me with no beard and who is a small town guy and I could very well find a man to love who is shorter, bearded and a city boy.
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