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 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 176
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Women always wanting men quite taller than themPage 8 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
My Nephew is 5ft 5 and his wife is 5ft 8 easy.

He is a boxer AND With men he is Alpha. But when I see him talk to his wife and listen you wouldn't think it. He is a big softy with her. But he has a soft center awww.

Napoleon had less of a complex than men on POF :p Oh wait he was 5ft 7 :) He wasn't beta either.

Carry on moaning... and never take responsibility for any off it. It's all the bad women's fault.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 177
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/12/2019 4:04:24 PM
I think some blokes don't get it and think they might benefit from watching this guy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNYMHBYmbRQ

I really am laughing posting this link...
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 178
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/12/2019 4:14:39 PM

Taller, more athletic, more attractive people usually tend to complain about "Quality" in online dating - because they GET attention, GET to meet people, GET to make attempts and succeed or fail. People sorted 'out' by these check boxes online don't even get the chance to TRY quality -- because there is NO quantity. THAT is how decisive that one little check box becomes.


Sort of like the first string batter who complains about striking out twice in a game, to the benchwarmer who never gets a chance to even bat. The benchwarmer doesn't want to hear it, he just wants his own chance at bat.


and never take responsibility for any off it.


What "responsibility"?

Who gets to decide their own natural height?

How many 6' 2" guys do you think, given a choice , would say they would rather be 5' 4"?

It's not the same as robbing a liquor store at gunpoint and serving time, and someone holding THAT against you, which you DO have to take responsibility for, since you chose to engage in that behavior, and which you could have avoided.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 179
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/12/2019 4:21:51 PM
Responsibility for their own actions and stop crying about stuff you can't change rather than take responsibility for the things you can change like confidence, building self esteem etc

deciding height is non negotiable and no guy 6ft plus would want to be shorter. A no brainer.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 180
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/12/2019 5:00:37 PM

You have your age settings at 12 years younger and only 8 years older.
Isn't that discrimination? Oh wait, it's just a preference... right?

Originally I had it set for +/- ten years, and haven't changed it for a while. Aging a couple years changes the margin.
Same problem most people have in here - they set prefs, and forget it.
You can call it discrimination because it IS. Having an age range close to my own means I am cheating out all those 20-somethings and a lot of senior citizens, sight unseen. (insert eye roll here) Shaving off a few years from POF's 14 year age limit means I am cheating out roughly 30 percent of possible matches on this site based on age. That's the math. I don't deny it.

Looking to date a guy over 5'10" means you are eliminating half the men - fifty percent - sight unseen. Looking for a six-footer means denying eighty percent or more. That is the math, too.

Part of the reason for setting that age range goes back a few years when a lot of middle aged men were being accused of approaching much younger 20-somethings and spamming their accounts with indecent proposals. The last 'hard' rule POF put in place was that 14-year age range rule, trying to prevent scores of 40 & 50-something men from doing just that. Posting an age range publicly on my profile was my way of saying respectfully, I decline the idea of courting to people 20 years my junior, and women should realize that instead of assuming I am yet another dirty old man.
 Million_Reasons
Joined: 10/23/2018
Msg: 181
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/12/2019 5:54:02 PM
"Responsibility for their own actions and stop crying about stuff you can't change rather than take responsibility for the things you can change like confidence, building self esteem etc"


Well said, Mr. Spectrallight! :)
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 182
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/12/2019 7:15:50 PM

What "responsibility"?
Who gets to decide their own natural height?

Their mom and dad! Tsk tsk -- poor choice in deciding to fertilize them eggs, Mr & Mrs Smith! ;)

Napoleon had less of a complex than men on POF :p

He also wasn't short back then. He was average height as European males back then, as the average height was much smaller.

Carry on moaning... and never take responsibility for any off it.

First, that's an inaccurate choice of words to say "never take responsibility for any of it". They aren't responsible for their genetic social lacking, but I agree, they, as with everyone else should take responsibility for themselves about the attributes they have any control of, in general. But who says they aren't? Because they bring up the concept in forums? You mine as well say that to everyone who has any complaints. Forums are a place to point out the flaws of one's experiences, or conceptual flaws in social society related to dating. It doesn't imply they're sitting around doing nothing.

The height thing, I believe, is mainly brought up as a counter to gals complaining that guys are too much into looks and girls aren't so much, etc. Which I believe to be a valid point -- much like concept of guy-pays being Universally Expected, regardless of the gal & guy's financial position, while some make the argument it overall is fair. It isn't. It's uneven, just as a guy who's Napoleon's height today which is now short. But yes, said guy also needs to deal with the cards he's dealt with -- whether it's genetics, or the social arena he's in.

Looking for a six-footer means denying eighty percent or more.

In the Netherlands, 6-foot is average for a dude. But yes, non-real-short girls almost all at least ideally want a guy around 6 foot. But when it comes to online, it bears more weight. The further you are from 'ideal' online, the worse it is than some guy who's mingling with her at a coffee house or bar. Hence, someone like HawkingJr is in a tougher boat than IRL for straight-up dates... which is why I always repeat that he shouldn't be relying on online as his source.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 183
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/13/2019 6:13:18 AM

First, that's an inaccurate choice of words to say "never take responsibility for any of it". They aren't responsible for their genetic social lacking, but I agree, they, as with everyone else should take responsibility for themselves about the attributes they have any control of, in general. But who says they aren't? Because they bring up the concept in forums? You mine as well say that to everyone who has any complaints. Forums are a place to point out the flaws of one's experiences, or conceptual flaws in social society related to dating. It doesn't imply they're sitting around doing nothing.


OK, They aren't responsible for genetics, but its there. It wont go away so accept it. How many of 1000's of years have short men managed to find partners? If someone was solely to rely on being a thumbnail on a website then that's their tough shizzle. rolls eyes.

I really don't think they're taking the steps needed. Negative people rarely do. It's everybody else's fault. Nobody is owed anything. I agree they aren't doing nothing. They're on the web whining. Very constructive. It's fine to complain but to refrain from taking action ever is stupid. Nuff said.

You go out and get a few drinks down you, don't you? then you get the nerve to have a crack at a couple of lasses if they strike your fancy? You take responsibility for your own well being and happiness. Take the guy above "Dan" he watches women watch other blokes walk into watering holes as he puts it and moans. Own worst enemy.




The height thing, I believe, is mainly brought up as a counter to gals complaining that guys are too much into looks and girls aren't so much, etc. Which I believe to be a valid point -- much like concept of guy-pays being Universally Expected, regardless of the gal & guy's financial position, while some make the argument it overall is fair. It isn't. It's uneven, just as a guy who's Napoleon's height today which is now short. But yes, said guy also needs to deal with the cards he's dealt with -- whether it's genetics, or the social arena he's in.



It is brought up because people have to try justify their lack of whatever it may be, so off they go pointing fingers as it couldn't possibly be their shortcoming's

If you allow thumbnails on a website dictate your wellbeing then I'm lost for words. I'm not being heartless. I pretty much avoid most women on POF. I said here years back I use it almost like an almanac of whom not to date in the UK forum nowadays after my initial dating/relationship/knee tremblers from here. Every profile I read is a few drinks saved ;) Only a Scotsman would think that way lol.

Oh and I've dated/ went out with a fair few attractive girls taller than me in my time. so on that point from a guy that is 5ft 6. Stop moaning and do something about it. The last 4 women to message me were 5ft, 5ft 4, 5ft 6, and 5ft 10(quite the mix). If the good looking women don't want to date a person then said person needs to reconsider dating the less attractive women or face being alone forever. Nobody is coming to save anyone.

On the monetry side of date's. Myself and friends can say one thing. Not one woman has taken the piss once when out for drinks and dating. We could say bunch of other things though but that's one thing we can't put women down for as they pay their own way or get a few in too due to men saying the nonsential sh!t all the time. Funny always the moaners that say it that can't get a sniff. We've come acrooss bunny boiler, thicko, stabby mc stab, women that enjoy coming back that night etc. But not monetry pisstakers.

I know a lad that was on here. He f*cked 9 women in so many weeks and he said to me once "Is their something wrong with me" because he couldnt get a reply from a good looking woman. Looks are in the beholders eye as I couldn't see any attraction myself regarding the women he'd messaged. Each to their own.

POF is probably one of the worst places for someone to go on if they have come out of a relationship, and low in self esteem and confidence. Off they go blasting out loads of messages and get no reply hence vicious circle entails of self loathing and they begin to lash out. It is frustrating.

My post aren't having a go. But if they can motivate even one person then my time hasn't been completely wasted. I've pretty much said what I have to say now, Caoi.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 184
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/13/2019 7:20:54 AM
So in a nutshell...negative nellies are time vampires.
Work with what you've got and quick moaning about what you don't have.
I always wanted to be rich and beautiful.
Hopefully in my next life...I'll get to be rich....hahahaha!
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 185
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/13/2019 7:40:21 AM
If you didn't have seagull and sammich problems you'd be Rich and Beautiful :)
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 186
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/13/2019 9:34:53 AM

Looking to date a guy over 5'10" means you are eliminating half the men - fifty percent - sight unseen. Looking for a six-footer means denying eighty percent or more. That is the math, too.


So what? In America where 70% of the female population is overweight means any guy NOT dating/writing them is eliminating 70% of the population off the bat.


Part of the reason for setting that age range goes back a few years when a lot of middle aged men were being accused of approaching much younger 20-somethings and spamming their accounts with indecent proposals. The last 'hard' rule POF put in place was that 14-year age range rule, trying to prevent scores of 40 & 50-something men from doing just that. Posting an age range publicly on my profile was my way of saying respectfully, I decline the idea of courting to people 20 years my junior, and women should realize that instead of assuming I am yet another dirty old man.


What the frack you care what a women on here thinks about YOU? Nothing wrong with age differences, + or -. I don't know the REAL reason that POF did the cut off but basing it on what you said seems unlikely since EVERY other site including pay sites doesn't have a cutoff and since I assume men are more likely to pay, Markus should care squat about what the "few" women complaining about getting messages from older guys. But does it make you an old dirty man? Not at all.
That being said, you are more likely ,IMHO, to be perceived negatively by that last paragraph in your profile.

No offense - people of all heights should be allowed to put their comments in -- but a guy over six feet tall saying that height is no big deal is kind of like a guy who takes a helicopter to work saying that rush hour traffic is no big deal. If you are not being discriminated BY it, you really won't see it as a problem.

Says you! I have known females who won't date a guy my height because they wanted shorter. I also see many profiles wanting a guy over 6 ft, which would exclude 6 ft. In addition that gentleman said he is 6' 3". That is actually too tall for some women..freakishly so. Fact is women find enough reasons to discriminate against guys online. It isn't always height and/or body size related. Sometimes it is. Best anyone can do is be the "best " that they can be by presenting themselves well and possibly improving in areas that they CAN control. No sense crying about spoiled milk. Truth is, some may not like the advice given which is KEEP TRYING, but there really isn't anything else anyone can do. Therefore, it is sound advice!
Reminds me of GLORY(movie):
rip: I ain't fightin' this war for you, sir.
Shaw: I see.
Trip: I mean, what's the point? Ain't nobody gonna win. It's just gonna go on and on.
Shaw: Can't go on forever.
Trip: Yeah, but ain't nobody gonna win, sir.
Shaw: Somebody's gonna win.
Trip: Who? I mean, you get to go on back to Boston, big house and all that. What about us? What do we get?
Shaw: Well, you won't get anything if we lose. What do you want to do?
Trip: I don't know, sir.
Shaw: It stinks, I suppose.
 ken333
Joined: 12/12/2009
Msg: 187
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/13/2019 10:30:26 AM

Taller, more athletic, more attractive people usually tend to complain about "Quality" in online dating - because they GET attention, GET to meet people, GET to make attempts and succeed or fail. People sorted 'out' by these check boxes online don't even get the chance to TRY quality -- because there is NO quantity. THAT is how decisive that one little check box becomes.

Yes, we get the added privilege of dating women who say "Oh I love height!". Only to realize they are the same ones who will complain about not buying them a drink, complain about not taking them out on enough dates, complain about how I work too much. Or the worst one "Hey I want a baby, I need you for your height". Why would you want to date these kind of women? Thanks but I'd rather sit at home, I don't need the attention.

It took me a while to find someone who likes me for who I am. She never mentions height, she has dated guys of all different heights and doesn't care. Yes I think I am lucky to have found the one that I did but I disagree with your claim that taller people have it easier. It will be difficult to find the right one no matter who you are.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 188
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/13/2019 12:04:51 PM

OK, They aren't responsible for genetics, but its there. It wont go away so accept it.

Point is, "take responsibility for it" more equates to being notably overweight. And "accept it" -- again, who's on here saying they won't accept anything until they're 6 foot? :)

I really don't think they're taking the steps needed. Negative people rarely do.

Again -- who says they're not taking any steps? If someone complains about the past few dates they had, get into a debate on the forums about their stories -- who says they're sulking in their parents' basement doing Nothing about their luck and just writing on a forum? You. :) You're complaining, but that's ok?

Again, it's the forums. It's going to be talk about discrepancies and issues about the dating field & guys/girls. The concept of gals in general ideally wanting a guy on the taller end of the spectrum, yet, gals generally claiming they're not all about looks but guys are -- is the main issue I see brought up. But you're telling everyone to shut up on the concept - lol.

Take the guy above "Dan" he watches women watch other blokes walk into watering holes as he puts it and moans. Own worst enemy.

I agree that in this case, if a guy is just kicking rocks talking about how he can't approach a girl -- he does deserve the criticism you're doling out. Yes. However, if a guy brings up & complains about, say, the hypocracy in the dating field -- which is what forums Are For, remember -- where gals complain about guys coming up to them as creepy, but also expect (guys they like) coming up to them... then no, it doesn't.

In America where 70% of the female population is overweight means any guy NOT dating/writing them is eliminating 70% of the population off the bat.

True. However, there is a difference....
a) Overweight being at 70% includes an inaccurate line of what's considered attractive as by US standards, as it just means more than universally thin; so overall, the lacking-universal-attraction is not that high
b) Gals (and guys) can control their weight; height's a different story
c) Shorter people (namely guys here) have less leeway on extra-weight; as extra-weight still plays a role on top of it
d) A guy being short isn't going to give him a nice bulky chest and shoulders, like many overweight gals will automatically get as a "3rd place ribbon" at least, to draw in opp-sex
e) Guys will still jump on a gal who's "curvy" in the right places, even if not ideal -- there's no " but he's short in all the right places".

I'd put a guy noticeably below average height like a face, instead. You can work out more than the next guy to ante up your overall looks. You can powder your face and whatnot putting it on the up and up where other guys wouldn't think to do so, or you can wear vertical lines and wear shoes with some thick soles and a bit of heel to keep your posture up -- but that's all you can do minimally on that front... but in the end, maximize everything else beyond what others do.

Says you! I have known females who won't date a guy my height because they wanted shorter.

Barring a BS excuse that doesn't "hurt" him -- which I'm sure has been used -- how much of a Spinner was she?? :) The only time I've ever heard of that is from guys Towering over the girl, which is usually a guy 6'4"+ and the gal's kinda short. But I'm sure it's been done with a gal who's real short and the guy's just merely on the tall side. That said, it'd be Silly to even Remotely Equate it to a guy at 5'6" and his luck to a guy who's 6 foot, when it comes to the dating field.

Fact is women find enough reasons to discriminate against guys online. It isn't always height and/or body size related.

True. Face is #1 for everyone, even when we don't think about it (we don't have to measure up or analyze anything; natural assessment). And of course there's other things like reading him, etc. Of course, online is different when it comes to the other stuff. Height is going to matter more online, though (as with other things that stick out in #s; like age too).

Yes, we get the added privilege of dating women who say "Oh I love height!". Only to realize they are the same ones who will complain about not buying them a drink, complain about not taking them out on enough dates, complain about how I work too much.

Yes, but you have that going for you, at least, tho. Everything else that they can rightfully or hastily complain about -- is going to cum to every guy no matter what. :)

Or the worst one "Hey I want a baby, I need you for your height". Why would you want to date these kind of women?

Because you can pull out, and have fun 'trying'? :)
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 189
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/13/2019 12:42:40 PM
""""True. Face is #1 for everyone, even when we don't think about it (we don't have to measure up or analyze anything; natural assessment). And of course there's other things like reading him, etc. Of course, online is different when it comes to the other stuff. Height is going to matter more online, though (as with other things that stick out in #s; like age too).
""""
Actually I am glad you agree with me but I don't agree with your example agreeing with me! LOL.

IMHO men attract more to body, women to face and that is simply more due to media. If we went back in time I suspect both genders equally choose a healthy male based on characteristics that are "body". Of course in different cultures the ideal body type might differ. In studies the women actually pick out features that an ideal alpha male would have like deep set eyes, high forehead, large chin, etc but in reality due to media influence(brainwashing) they choose more feminine(pretty boys) in real life since that is what is onscreen these days but go back to the 1940's, for example, and the facial features are completely different. If you don't believe me, go back and read my old post describing this and you will see a FEMALE, RED , said I was absolutely right.

That is because women from previous generations aren't even attracted to the male role models of today and vice versa. Now there are other studies that show that facial symmetry is what is beautiful but that only proved the point about media/cultural influence because they had a computer program that could calculate symmetric faces and they ran movie stars though the program and the end result was that these "hunks" were just as symmetrical, as the average. Theory was then that women like "average" with the addition to what the PUA's call social proof(fame,etc). That could explain a lot.
Men on the other hand tend to go for gals with the figure they like.

As for measuring up, actually most men and women have certain features they like or don't like and they do analyze it, not as natural as one might think. I know men who won't date women with "ethnic" noses" and we all know women who choose guys with "dimples".
Height only matters online more since there isn't much more to go on. But in addition , online men spam women who they would never approach in real life. In real life I get the feeling the short guys seem to sense what women won't like their height and avoid them. Body language isn't involved in online dating.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 190
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/13/2019 12:54:19 PM
I cannot remember the source but I once read a journal article on women who married short men and tall men and the number one thing that correlated is that most of the women who married tall men had tall fathers and most of the women who married short men had short fathers. Maybe short men just need to figure out which women had short fathers.

The number one thing holding short men who can't find women back is their mindset. They get a chip on their shoulder that makes them extra sensitive, self-conscious and bitter about it. I understand this thinking because I tend to get the same way about myself regarding my weight. I have tried really hard to lose weight and and I always end up on this plateau, creep up a little then go back to this plateau and it frustrates the hell out of me because I want to weigh 162 pounds and I can't seem to get below 197, no matter what I do. While yes, I should keep working to try to lose weight, I also need to accept the body which I have and to not let it affect me psychologically. We have the bodies we have. Some short men (but not all) perceive that most women won't want them because of their height. Some overweight women (but not all) perceive that most men won't want them because of their weight. While there is truth to these perceptions, it is important to realize that height and weight are not the disqualifiers that they are perceived to be. Now, I have a mindset that most men will be disappointed when meeting me because they will meet me and be disappointed in my weight because its not what they expected. I will let them know ahead of time my weight which may outline my insecurity too much and when I meet them, every facial expression they have I will be interpreting whether it has to do with my weight. Its an obsession and it causes me to misinterpret or to write off someone too quickly. Yes, some guys will not be happy with the weight but some guys it won't be an issue but with the guys that it isn't an issue with I might turn it into with my insecurities. Short men do the exact same thing and it causes a potential relationship to self-destruct.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 191
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/13/2019 1:06:26 PM

Yes, we get the added privilege of dating women who say "Oh I love height!". Only to realize they are the same ones who will complain about not buying them a drink, complain about not taking them out on enough dates, complain about how I work too much...


Do you not understand that bad matches exist at ANY size? Being more accepting of height doesn't magically make a lady have a winning personality, or even a degree of sanity. Selfish or annoying or cruel does not have a limit based on age or size or height or any other base statistic. Quality is NOT the issue when it comes to screening by height, at least not online -- because it's mostly a choice made from a superficial online profile that barely carries enough honest data to be believable. Most people are screened out on numbers and base statistics and a handful of photos. 'Crazy' is not a box that gets checked when registering a profile. All that stuff happens AFTER you meet.

No matter how many bad internet dates you get - keep in mind - what the lesser attractive player MOSTLY gets to meet - is a bad match - or none at all. Holding out for the perfect/better match is kind of a joke when the number of online dates you get in a year can be counted on one hand. Eventually, you realize winning $20 isn't half bad when you could die of old age trying to get a half million. Sorry if ladies don't like to hear that we urchins don't idolize every female and still have the 'gall' to say 'No' - but you don't get the monopoly on Prime Rib just because you were formed from one. Losing out on lots of opportunity makes people learn humility -- and usually develops into a stronger sense of patience when encountering a possible match - but it doesn't mean we are obligated to get pushed around or run over.

Height is not the only thing to consider, nor is it the only 'problem' when it comes to making online matches. But it IS one of the simplest of adjustments to make and try again. So is Age. So is Race. Those most basic of profile descriptions. You don't NEED them to match to be happy - so just change it! People keep wanting to find something MORE elaborate in their problematic relationships. Something hard to define, usually something that is beyond their control - because realizing WE are the common failing denominator is too hard to bear. WE don't want to change ANYthing about ourselves. We are absolutely miserable creatures of habit.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 192
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/13/2019 2:28:26 PM

who's on here saying they won't accept anything until they're 6 foot? :)


Nobody because that is impossible. Not unless I invent grow a man in a jar that comes with a bonus chant or we could just have daisy daisy how does your 6ft man grow :) To continue doing the same things over and over shows non acceptance of said situation. At least in my eyes or why would people complain. If I accept a situation I generally wouldn't complain and move on.



Again -- who says they're not taking any steps? If someone complains about the past few dates they had, get into a debate on the forums about their stories -- who says they're sulking in their parents' basement doing Nothing about their luck and just writing on a forum? You. :) You're complaining, but that's ok?


I've said about blaming everyone except themselves. I wouldn't know if they are sulking or depressed. They could be taking steps but why would they be. we never hear about such steps being taking? Someone complaining about last few dates is a bit different from people complaining about the same groundhog day stuff over and over for a couple of years and expecting change for the better for zero effort.. If I'm complaining and someone has something vital that will improve my own situation then I will take it on board and improve my situation. I'm not complaing lol. I'm offering observation.

I'll have a wee complain if it makes you feel better. Left but one of my front teeth is missing. I've snapped another tooth 3 along from that at back with garlic bread the other week drunk and lost 2 fillings because of it, and a crown. Oh no my life is over. I'll moan for years about it now lol. Just you watch haha :P

The thing is most womem aren't bothered. I had a false tooth plaque for front one I took out in front of my first date from POF ever back in 2013 at a meal. I wasn't willing to sit there and not be me. I got a 2nd date even after ripping her lighting wiring out of her wall when I grabbed the light on the wall and fell down her steep stairs. What made me laugh I cuddled the light and went to sleep. The bulb broke but the glass shade didnt lol.

Funny thing is I can delude myself and say It makes me undateable having a tooth missing when in fact I know most day to day women couldn't give a damn. I told one irish girl time ago when she messaged me and she was like wtf mate that's life so off we went.. But I'll just moan about it anyway because I can and I'll wallow in my own self pity. Not!!! It would be easy too, right!


Again, it's the forums. It's going to be talk about discrepancies and issues about the dating field & guys/girls. The concept of gals in general ideally wanting a guy on the taller end of the spectrum, yet, gals generally claiming they're not all about looks but guys are -- is the main issue I see brought up. But you're telling everyone to shut up on the concept - lol.


Well going on and on and on about the same thing with the exact same result years on over and over and over is not productive behaviour.I'm not saying shut up. I'm saying get your shit together. If they want to moan please do but that doesn't change Jack. Actions change situations. Talk is cheap :)

I want people to vent but also take charge of their situation AND be Happy. But everybody has their own brand of BS :) Denial is awesome. It beats actually doing the hard work to get where you need to be. Plus if they're moaning then they aren't taking up women's attention from men that want to actually try and date and take knock backs on the chin. If they don't post their thoughts then we can't reply hence forum death ;)


I agree that in this case, if a guy is just kicking rocks talking about how he can't approach a girl -- he does deserve the criticism you're doling out. Yes. However, if a guy brings up & complains about, say, the hypocracy in the dating field -- which is what forums Are For, remember -- where gals complain about guys coming up to them as creepy, but also expect (guys they like) coming up to them... then no, it doesn't.


If a women says it then it would all fall on death ears because it already has. I know it isn't easy to approach but like joe said in another thread. don't think about it just do it there and then. Don't let the ego talk you out of it. I've fell victim to that in the past. Screw what if this or that. Just do it.

I have my own things going on. I just deal with it. Both sexes piss each other off. Get over it. No more long posts from me lol. I know why I used to just be in the shadows haha :)
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 193
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/13/2019 2:37:21 PM

IMHO men attract more to body, women to face and that is simply more due to media.

I think face is #1 for both. Not to say something else can't nix it. I think guys may go for body more since women flaunt it more -- and we all want what we can't Quite have, so I could see more guys more leaning that way. But with face we don't Think about it. And a deal-breaker body is almost always going to have a solid negative effect on the face directly, and even indirectly to some degree. We think about a gal's body more than a gal does. But in the end, I strongly do believe by observation on the topic IRL, the face brings the most pull -- but granted, a great face at least brings the strong presumption of at least a decent body. For all practical purposes, a great face isn't going to have a horrible body, but a great body can have a horrible face.

but in reality due to media influence(brainwashing) they choose more feminine(pretty boys) in real life since that is what is onscreen these days but go back to the 1940's, for example, and the facial features are completely different.

I don't think it's brainwashing (implying on-purpose). But like body, there's different "genres" in facial look. One will rise during a period of time more than the other in movies & magazines, and people's tastes will follow. Take that Twilight movie series -- that one thin dark haired gal. Her face -- nothing special. I've seen that type of face. But fame does this -- a gal who looks like her, an otherwise average or sub-average Jane, has her looks-stock rise. Women aren't only affected by it, although it'll have a stronger weight with them (even when they don't think so). But IMO, it's stronger for guys than they think.

As for measuring up, actually most men and women have certain features they like or don't like and they do analyze it, not as natural as one might think.

Certain things, yes. Others, like face, no. "He just has this look" -- or when she's initially drawn to Jim instead of Tim. And it Is natural to be more attracted to ones who resemble those in the "spot light" in a positive way, too -- as long as said person has attractive qualities in their look.

Height only matters online more since there isn't much more to go on.

People are more picky online, and when you have something going by numbers -- it's going to have more weight. For guys, too -- but since we're so outnumbered online + willing to just-fool-around, we'll take what we can get anyway. IRL, a gal's going to be less picky. When already established in a social zone of hers and have already been acquainted for some time with a decent reputation, the picky-guard generally dissolves fully.

In real life I get the feeling the short guys seem to sense what women won't like their height and avoid them.

In general, women won't like them if he's shorter than she. Tall women are less picky on height differential, but as I've always said -- it's more about how he measures up against other guys. Assuming they're otherwise roughly in the same league -- a guy doesn't have to be much taller than a gal who's 6 foot, VS a gal who's 5'5". If you're a guy who's 5'7" and a gal's 5'9" -- you'd be wasting your time barking up her tree out of the blue, by default.

But IRL, I would say a guy shouldn't heed himself because he's short, if he's notably taller than the gal he's scoping at the bar. Regardless, one should mingle anyway, as few gals are solo anyway. You mingle without picking up anyone initially, and read signals. Sure, the 5'5" gal who's not otherwise the hottest you could feasibly get, who's your height in her heels, may like you but certainly may not -- but expectations should be put in the right place that chances are lower. Hence, play "zone" not "man to man". Mingle with a group, read the group, and call plays accordingly. Especially when out with a fellow friend who could match with someone.
 ken333
Joined: 12/12/2009
Msg: 194
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/13/2019 2:47:58 PM
Danimal why are you trying to compare your number of bad dates with mine or anyone elses? Do you want to know how many bad dates I've had?

I used to go out with a friend of mine who is 5'7", I am 6'3". But he was much better at approaching and talking to women than I was. He would come home with some gorgeous women, I felt like I was getting left behind with all the crap. You have just as much opportunity as me or anyone to find the one you are looking for.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 195
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/13/2019 3:45:04 PM

Danimal why are you trying to compare your number of bad dates with mine or anyone elses?... I used to go out with a friend of mine who is 5'7", I am 6'3"...

I understand the context you are talking about. Being able to approach and be conversational in real life is totally different from the online screening approach people use on POF and other dating sites. Comparing real-life encounters to online meets is really an apples/oranges kind of thing. If I want to grab attention in real life, there are plenty of ways to go about it. My posts in here - I am trying to keep them in the ONLINE context of what goes on behind our glowing screens, and the choices we make from there. It is not the same as real life. Hell, it's almost NEVER the same kind of decisions and reactions going on. People choose online matches using a digitally modified twist on reasoning, and it gets absurd sometimes.

You have just as much opportunity as me or anyone to find the one you are looking for.

In the sense that we all have a chance to make a profile - yes, we do share the same opportunity - in the sense that people will respond to it -- that's a different story.
 ken333
Joined: 12/12/2009
Msg: 196
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/13/2019 4:17:46 PM

I understand the context you are talking about. Being able to approach and be conversational in real life is totally different from the online screening approach people use on POF and other dating sites. Comparing real-life encounters to online meets is really an apples/oranges kind of thing. If I want to grab attention in real life, there are plenty of ways to go about it. My posts in here - I am trying to keep them in the ONLINE context of what goes on behind our glowing screens, and the choices we make from there. It is not the same as real life. Hell, it's almost NEVER the same kind of decisions and reactions going on. People choose online matches using a digitally modified twist on reasoning, and it gets absurd sometimes.

In the sense that we all have a chance to make a profile - yes, we do share the same opportunity - in the sense that people will respond to it -- that's a different story.


So now you're trying to compare the online opportunities in regards to short vs. tall? Sorry but I don't think the tall guys are having any better luck in the number of online responses. Women on dating sites get bombarded with messages, they won't respond unless you stand out for some reason. I have spent months on Plentyoffish before I could find just one woman willing to take the time to actually meet up. The girl I am with now I did not meet on Plentyoffish, I like Plentyoffish for the opportunities it gave but I never met the right person on it, it just never gave me much traction.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 197
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/13/2019 5:03:43 PM
^^^Perhaps if he changed a bit of profile he would do better?

He is 5" 7" that isn't terribly short. Avg Southern European man is 5"8". But cowboy boots on and h will be the same. Perhaps he doesn't realize the hottest Italians are in Sicily. And the "short" men are considered hot by women from Northern EU who come to frack them.
 Million_Reasons
Joined: 10/23/2018
Msg: 198
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/13/2019 5:23:40 PM
^The average US woman is 5'4".

What exactly is the problem?
 ken333
Joined: 12/12/2009
Msg: 199
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/13/2019 5:57:50 PM

^^^Perhaps if he changed a bit of profile he would do better?

He is 5" 7" that isn't terribly short. Avg Southern European man is 5"8". But cowboy boots on and h will be the same. Perhaps he doesn't realize the hottest Italians are in Sicily. And the "short" men are considered hot by women from Northern EU who come to frack them.

I don't know what he can do to do better but if he could grow 6 inches I think he would be disappointed. Ultimately it's not going to matter.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 200
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Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 3/13/2019 11:10:45 PM


who's on here saying they won't accept anything until they're 6 foot? :)
Nobody because that is impossible.

Exactly. Thus, you don't need to tell them that they "need to accept" that they are short. Instead, they should be told that they need to accept that, yes, it Is unfair that gals can complain about guys being too much about looks while gals are not, yet, the height thing is a perfect example -- assuming he gives the impression he hasn't accepted it and isn't just pointing out social flaws.

I've said about blaming everyone except themselves.

But even if a short guy is blaming girls' general popular POV and seems a little uptight about it in his post or something -- what should he be blaming himself for? Again, it's a misfire to say that he's blaming everyone but himself. I don't see how he'd be in that category.

They could be taking steps but why would they be. we never hear about such steps being taking?

That's another (side; related) subject. It's not assumed by default that they're at a standstill in the dating scene and not doing anything to make use of the dating scene anyway. If a guy tells (yet another) story about how a gal had a convo with him on POF, went great & lengthy for a couple days -- had a date tenatively set up -- then POOF, gone... I'd be weird to assume he's at a standstill and doesn't know how to process on. I'd be misfiring by jumping to such a conclusion, probably because I was sick of hearing that same old story. :)

If I'm complaining and someone has something vital that will improve my own situation then I will take it on board and improve my situation.

Sure. If his theme is that he wants his situation improved. But it's a good side-note anyway. But just because a guy is pointing how things unfairly negatively affect him in the dating scene due to X, doesn't by default warrant an assumption that he's lost and is at a standstill about dating in general, is my point.

Funny thing is I can delude myself and say It makes me undateable having a tooth missing when in fact I know most day to day women couldn't give a damn.

For a front tooth, many women do give a damn to say the least -- but yes, it doesn't mean you're dateless. But then again, that's a conceptual different subject. One can be "woe is me, what do I do? I don't know!" The other is, "Yeah, I'm short. But you know what gets me? Girls say X, but in reality, Y happens, but they don't admit it."

I just deal with it. Both sexes piss each other off. Get over it.

Exactly why I essentially said to you from the get go on this -- you can say that to Everyone who posts about something negative that happened (or how negative 'things' unfairly/stupidly/weirdly happen socially).

He would come home with some gorgeous women, I felt like I was getting left behind with all the crap.

It doesn't mean your height wasn't a big advantage. I think instead, it was a combo of you having a Stark Disadvantage socially, while he had a strong advantage socially, compared to the rest of society.

Sorry but I don't think the tall guys are having any better luck in the number of online responses.

If you're talking about guys over 6'4" -- I would agree it sharply levels out with shorter guys (with non-tall gals). But guys generally tall (6'0" - 6'4") -- of course they do. OKC stats have shown this, so has common sense. By a Landslide.

I don't know what he can do to do better but if he could grow 6 inches I think he would be disappointed. Ultimately it's not going to matter.

I disagree -- unless you're both living in a town where the average gal is 5'1".

He is 5" 7" that isn't terribly short. Avg Southern European man is 5"8".

True. Depends where you live tho too. My friend's 6'2" (I really think closer to 6'1"; we shrink a bit sometimes when nearing 40) -- and he says going from the country in the midwest to Chicago -- is like night & day. He feels a Bit tall one place, but going in downtown Chi-town, he feels Truly Tall. Avg height changes walking into the bar.

Basically speaking, assuming you're not seemingly out of the gal's league or truly Hot at 5'7" as a guy -- you have to have good pro-active charm and not (reach out to) hit up gals taller.

^The average US woman is 5'4".
What exactly is the problem?

YMMV. 5'4" - 5'5". But yes, a short but not terribly short guy is going to be taller than the average height gal. With heels? Not so much, but heels vary. Generally speaking, if she doesn't know you, she'll be more picky. A gal in heels wants a guy who's taller than she in said heels -- or at least As Tall as she in her heels if he's a hunk in her eyes.
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