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 Inner_circle
Joined: 7/11/2015
Msg: 26
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Wish we could warn each other about bad datesPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
The issue with giving people the ability to report back on how dates went, I know males and females who just get all butt hurt when someone decides to no longer see them anymore and they go around bad mouthing that person...when the only 'crime' committed was the person just decided not to move forward. (as is everyone's prerogative, at any time)
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 27
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Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/11/2019 1:09:49 PM

But how do you know if they are in the bathroom versus looking at your décor in the guest room ...or getting fresh air out on your deck? Vs. the bathroom?


The worst is when you catch them rummaging through your sock drawer.
That's where I keep most of my secrets.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 28
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Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/11/2019 1:11:10 PM
And the trolls who prowl POF would have a new game to play
Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/11/2019 1:30:41 PM

The only thing worse would be catching him doing blow off of a hooker's ass

Thanks, there goes my coffee all over my keyboard. This whole thread is hilarious. Did everyone turn into stand up comedians today?
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 30
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Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/11/2019 3:45:17 PM
This thread is only a couple sidetracked posts away from being a Game of Thrones gossip thread...

Damn. Did I just write that?
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 31
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Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/11/2019 4:24:58 PM
I'm with Boo on this one!!
How do you not know where someone is at in your home?
Especially some dude you just met.....wandering off into rooms without you?
I don't think so!!
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 32
Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/11/2019 5:32:18 PM
Hmmmm, I must be doin' sumpin' wrong. I've never lost a man INSIDE my home. ...................Now outside, a few have wandered off when I suggested, "Hey take a hike".
 ShumbaHadzi
Joined: 9/16/2018
Msg: 33
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Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/11/2019 5:59:09 PM
There is a guy on POF named Rich. He is from Middle Island, NY (Long Island). I met him on a different dating site but he is here now. The guy is a weirdo. I won't post his username here since it is against forum rules.

He is a nice-looking guy and seems very sweet and down to earth. Gave me his phone number almost immediately. Well, it turns out all he wants is a hand job in his car on the first meet. He doesn't want to date. He is only looking for someone to meet to get a hand job from and to tell them about all his weird sex fetishes.

I don't judge anyone for fetishes but that shouldn't be discussed until you've gone out a few times and are getting to know one another. This creep wants to meet but then tells you he doesn't want to go in the restaurant or whatever -- he only wants to park in the parking lot and for you to give him a hand job. (Exact reason why you should drive yourself to any meets with people!)

He will send multiple photos of his private parts as if that is going to entice you to come give him a hand job.

He is a Class A CREEP, WEIRDO.

I also suspect that he is married or lives with a girlfriend.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 34
Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/11/2019 6:51:23 PM
I have a warning: WARNING, if it smells like a skunk, it's a skunk..................If it waddles like a duck, it's a duck.............easy peazy.
Beware of skunks who waddle................SMH
 ShumbaHadzi
Joined: 9/16/2018
Msg: 35
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Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/11/2019 7:02:07 PM

I have a warning: WARNING, if it smells like a skunk, it's a skunk..................If it waddles like a duck, it's a duck.............easy peazy.
Beware of skunks who waddle................SMH



Sometimes you don't know it's a duck or skunk until you have already met them. Not everyone lays out their cards before meeting --- I guess they figure they have a better chance of getting what they want.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 36
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Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/11/2019 9:41:44 PM

Maybe she would have rather he had constipation problems. I don't see "Must not have ANY gastrointestinal issues!!!" in her list of disqualifiers.

Maybe she should put that in there. "Please do not have problems with diarrhea or constipation. When I bring you to my place on the 2nd date, if you take too long, I'm going to assume you're doing lines of coke instead -- so I'll be barging in."

I toyed with the idea of making a dating site where you could leave reviews of people you have gone out with.

Aside from made up and exaggerated/inaccurate stories, I don't know how this would go so well. "Wow, this Sally girl has gone out on a lot of great dates in the last week. It's like a new guy every 3 days," wouldn't be good date-marketing for her. One going on a lot of great dates (getting around?) or a lot of bad dates (part of the cause?) aren't so good for one in the dating market. People like exaggerating to the low end on the amt of dates they've gone on, how many dating prospects they've been talking to, etc.

The worst is when you catch them rummaging through your sock drawer.
That's where I keep most of my secrets.

Of course, that's why we go thru your sock drawer, duh! :) That's why I usually wait until the girl's on the toilet. It's rude to go thru a gal's sock drawer otherwise.

He is a nice-looking guy and seems very sweet and down to earth. Gave me his phone number almost immediately.

If they throw out their # super-quick with little convo + are seen as better looking than one could normally get -- there's many times a catch...

Well, it turns out all he wants is a hand job in his car on the first meet. He doesn't want to date.

Okay, well, at least you found out right then, thru texting I imagine.

I don't judge anyone for fetishes but that shouldn't be discussed until you've gone out a few times and are getting to know one another.

I disagree! Of course they should bring up that they only want a hand job in a car, if that's all the want. You want to go out on several dates with the guy first before finding out that's all he wants? :)

I have a warning: WARNING, if it smells like a skunk, it's a skunk..................If it waddles like a duck, it's a duck.............easy peazy.

Warning: If he says he just wants a hand job in his car....... he just wants a hand job in his car! Easy Peasy! :)
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 37
Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/12/2019 2:20:45 AM
I live in a house the size of a dog kennel, impossible to lose a man in here.
I have (ahem) lost a few in the woods outside.......(cue mysterious music)


Edit.....I’ve changed my mind....no to warnings about bad dates :)
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 38
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Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/12/2019 3:20:13 AM

He is only looking for someone to meet to get a hand job from


So he wanted a handout from you to give him a hand up...

And down, and up, and down...
Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/12/2019 7:30:48 AM
Everything I need to know about online dating, I learned in kindergarten:
1) NEVER get in a car with a stranger.

Definitely NOT in a parking lot.

WHY aren't you meeting INSIDE???? in a PUBLIC place?

Because he doesn't want to?

Unbelievable.



He will send multiple photos of his private parts

How can that happen? Why not block/delete him after just one?

So much wrong here ... sad








Here's a reminder, for those who are not clear about Safety considerations:

Try to get to know someone before meeting them.

Watch for any red flags, such as disregarding your boundaries and not respecting your feelings.

Be sure to meet in a public place and to stay in a public place.

If you’re going alone, be sure to tell a friend where you’re going and what you’ll be doing.

For a first meeting, be sure to stay sober.

Don’t send out money, especially overseas.



Oops ...

Another thing you should learn in kindergarten that applies here:

Wash your hands before you eat.


 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 40
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Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/12/2019 1:22:51 PM

Well, it turns out all he wants is a hand job in his car on the first meet. He doesn't want to date. He is only looking for someone to meet to get a hand job from and to tell them about all his weird sex fetishes.

There was a woman here that stated she gives hand jobs on the first date / meeting to see if his "package" is big enough for her. Maybe he could meet her. LOL. I believe this woman lived in the NYC area as well.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 41
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Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/12/2019 3:24:29 PM

There is a guy on POF named Rich. He is from Middle Island, NY (Long Island). I met him on a different dating site but he is here now. The guy is a weirdo. I won't post his username here since it is against forum rules.

He is a nice-looking guy and seems very sweet and down to earth. Gave me his phone number almost immediately. Well, it turns out all he wants is a hand job in his car on the first meet. He doesn't want to date. He is only looking for someone to meet to get a hand job from and to tell them about all his weird sex fetishes.

I don't judge anyone for fetishes but that shouldn't be discussed until you've gone out a few times and are getting to know one another. This creep wants to meet but then tells you he doesn't want to go in the restaurant or whatever -- he only wants to park in the parking lot and for you to give him a hand job. (Exact reason why you should drive yourself to any meets with people!)

He will send multiple photos of his private parts as if that is going to entice you to come give him a hand job.
He is a Class A CREEP, WEIRDO.

I also suspect that he is married or lives with a girlfriend.


[quote He is a nice-looking guy

So I take it , he has a photo/photos on his profile?
 ShumbaHadzi
Joined: 9/16/2018
Msg: 42
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Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/13/2019 5:33:45 AM


How can that happen? Why not block/delete him after just one?

So much wrong here ... sad


How can it happen? By sending one photo after the other in one shot. Of course, block/delete once he does this and you see what a lunatic he is.
Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/13/2019 8:52:07 AM

Sometimes you don't know it's a duck or skunk until you have already met them.


You can't put all the blame on him, since it is not possible he coaxed you into his car, requested a handjob, sent you one photo after the other in one shot AND rambled on about his weird sex fetishes all at the same time, out of the blue. At some juncture, you need to realize when the boundaries have been trampled. That is YOUR responsibility.

I am not going to pick apart your timeline any further, since it will only result in you feeling defensive, and that is probably not going to lead to anything productive.

Suffice it to say, you met someone that made you feel unsafe. This did not happen all at once. They tear down your boundaries piece by piece, until you find yourself in a compromising position.

It may be that you are not a candidate for online dating because you lack the internal "guru" to tell you when something is wrong.

As I said earlier, NEVER get in a car with a stranger. That is a simple rule all 5 year olds should know. It doesn't change, regardless if the venue is a parking lot or otherwise.
Sadly, it appears you met him under his terms, in his car, in a parking lot. I find it lunacy to get in a stranger's car. It is a pity you ignored a fundamental safety rule.

Here are some more "guidelines" that I used in my dating phase(s):
Always block someone immediately upon MENTION of a sex act or sending an intimate pic before you have even met (unless that is what you seek).
ALWAYS meet for the first time (at least) in public. If s/he won't come in to a public place LEAVE. Ask the establishment to provide an escort to your car.

I keep our "email" conversation on the message system of the dating site until after the first meet. This is a good idea for men, too, since they often get hijacked to Paid sex sites. You can always set up a separate email just for dating, of course.

I like to defer mobile phone calls/texting until we have firm plans to meet. I do like to talk on the phone before meeting, but I have a LAN line with a blocked number, so I called them. That means they have to be willing to give out their number. Yes, you have to be a granny like me to have a LAN line, but that is what I did when I was dating. They don't like it? Too bad, so sad. I don't know if google still has their phone number service or not, but you may want to consider a 2nd (very cheap) phone to use for dating only, if you have these kind of problems with sexting, etc.

I also NEVER have a guy to my house until AFTER I have been to his. No guarantee this weeds out the guys with wives/girlfriends, since they could be separated, stationed somewhere for business travel, etc.

If you are firm about boundaries, guys will do you the favor of weeding themselves out when they find they can't respect your limits.

No matter how many rules you have in place, there are always situations where you will have to use your own BEST JUDGMENT.

If your judgment is lacking, you may want to revisit how you expect to find dates, because there are many examples, on these very boards, where it will bite you in the butt (which should only happen if that is what you want - a little joke, of course).
Some people are simply not viable candidates for online dating, men AND women.

Going on about bad date experiences doesn't usually "help" others, since (thankfully) most people have basic intuition when their boundaries are being disrespected. Those with a history of family dysfunction may not be so lucky, unless they have experience with therapy, etc. Therefore, most of these "warning" threads really serve to telegraph to the viewers that the author is ripe to be victimized, because they have poor judgment. Not something you should want to make public.

You need to be in a place where you can listen to your internal voice and respect yourself enough to know when someone is not treating you properly. If you need professional help/counseling, please get it. This will be of value to you in your entire life, not just dating.

Try to stay safe.
Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/13/2019 10:13:10 AM

I don't know if google still has their phone number service or not, but you may want to consider a 2nd (very cheap) phone to use for dating only, if you have these kind of problems with sexting

There are even free apps that will give you a free number and the ability to call and text on your cell phone. Only friends and family get my real cell number. Everyone else gets the app number.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 45
Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/13/2019 2:41:16 PM

He is a nice-looking guy and seems very sweet and down to earth



The Fox and the Crow
Aesop


A Crow was sitting on a branch of a tree with a piece of cheese in her beak when a Fox observed her and set his wits to work to discover some way of getting the cheese. Coming and standing under the tree he looked up and said, “What a noble bird I see above me! Her beauty is without equal, the hue of her plumage exquisite. If only her voice is as sweet as her looks are fair, she ought without doubt to be Queen of the Birds.”
The Crow was hugely flattered by this, and just to show the Fox that she could sing she gave a loud caw.
Down came the cheese, of course, and the Fox, snatching it up, said, “You have a voice, madam, I see: what you want is wits.”
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 46
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Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/13/2019 8:58:48 PM

Thanks, there goes my coffee all over my keyboard. This whole thread is hilarious. Did everyone turn into stand up comedians today?


I think the majority of us are probably sitting down......
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 47
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Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/15/2019 6:46:58 AM
I think the real issue is that he was doing a line of coke in HER bathroom without offering to share. That is just plain rude and ungrateful!
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 48
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Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/15/2019 8:38:22 AM

I think the majority of us are probably sitting down......


I do my best work sitting on thy thinking throne...
 MyTrueCompanion
Joined: 9/20/2018
Msg: 49
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Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/15/2019 9:35:36 AM
another Aesop Fable

A Woman played a witch and divine oracle. When caught and sentenced to die another woman asked why the gods were easier than the judge.

Pretend to be something and pay the consequences.


;0D
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 50
Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/15/2019 3:51:09 PM
....................and the consequences are?
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