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 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 26
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Why do men change?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

I am pretty darn perceptive.

I don't want to be condescending - but that line is repeated in these forums ad nauseum by women who were all fooled or misled in some way.

You never met the guy, right? You had a handful of text messages and phone calls, and your imagination filled in ALL the other blanks you wanted filled in. Pickup artists and con men tell you what you want to hear. It takes maybe a few minutes to fish around for that direction in your emotions, and a few well placed sentences to strike conversational gold.

My advice: Stop and realize a perfect match does not, and will not EVER exist. This grocery list that you check off in your head is not leaving any room for issues and difficulties that make us all, well, a human being. People don't have to completely evade talking about their Ex, nor do they have to be pleased with them in any way -- because that is NOT natural. People/events/scars that have hurt us are always there, and pretending the world is wonderful just to impress you SHOULD be a red flag.

I get a kick out of forum posts talking about men "Changing" when the period of change is usually between the first messages and the third date. Women keep secrets buried for decades, because they didn't think you 'needed' to know about it. Getting molested as a kid - being spit upon at the prom - propositioned by your first boss - finding out Dad was a raging alcoholic - a lot of those secrets work their way out painfully slowly - and DEFINITELY cause a character change over a lot longer time frame. A guy "Changing' in the first few dates was a con man telling you what he wanted you to hear. Bank on it. Someone keeping secrets buried until that anxiety breakdown or when somebody dies -- well, which type of 'change' ends up causing more damage?
 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 27
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Why do men change?
Posted: 2/16/2019 5:10:41 PM

Who knows what prompted him to send the messages? It's not your bag, so just kinda drop it there.
beautifully spoken, Sharing faith and prayer may have indicated an intimacy to him that it did not to you. And upon sharing faithful prayer he revealed an honest intimate desire-quickly-offering you the opportunity to move on.
BTW SIS does he know you post in these forums? Can he find them? Will he read this after intimately sharing a confidence of faith in prayer with you?
I remember having religious witnesses coming to my home having prayer meetings every week for couple hours for over a year- then later meeting a male member of the congregation unrelated to the church who reported his interest in sharing my corrupt worldly ways he heard about from my witnesses. I lost interest in said teachings
 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 28
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Why do men change?
Posted: 2/16/2019 5:22:11 PM
for my grammatical errors- i met him at college not through his church. Thank god for the scribes who came in and paragraphed, chaptered, punctuated the divinely inspired bible.
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 29
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Why do men change?
Posted: 2/16/2019 8:45:45 PM
Man it's going to be rough in here!
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 30
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Why do men change?
Posted: 2/16/2019 9:49:34 PM
Thank you all. I think my last comment "????Personality change?" pretty much stopped him in his tracks. Haven't heard anything further.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 31
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Why do men change?
Posted: 2/16/2019 9:57:33 PM

BTW SIS does he know you post in these forums? Can he find them? Will he read this after intimately sharing a confidence of faith in prayer with you?


Yes. I told him that I enjoyed the forums and told him how to get here and I don't believe I have ever posted anything that would label me as any kind of 'alternative' personality?
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 32
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Why do men change?
Posted: 2/17/2019 7:56:15 AM
^^^

Should I assume he's the one that brought up the idea of praying together? Did you consider praying with him to be intimate? If so I can't imagine it was intimate with him after all he would have been thinking about phone sex during that conversation. I'll reiterate, he didn't change, he kept that part of his personality from you until he decided it was time to try for phone sex.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 33
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Why do men change?
Posted: 2/17/2019 8:08:31 AM

or my grammatical errors

Really!!!!!!!!!!

I wasn't aware your fantasy language involved grammar

In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 34
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Why do men change?
Posted: 2/17/2019 8:09:27 AM
28 - Inicia
or my grammatical errors

Really!!!!!!!!!!

I wasn't aware your fantasy language involved grammar
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 35
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Why do men change?
Posted: 2/17/2019 9:39:16 AM

then later meeting a male member of the congregation unrelated to the church who reported his interest in sharing my corrupt worldly ways he heard about from my witnesses.


I'm glad you clarified. So it was actually a man you knew from college unrelated to the church who had been told about the things you shared in your church related meetings. Awful. Meetings like that are supposed to be confidential and not sources of gossip. I'm sorry that happened to you.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 36
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Why do men change?
Posted: 2/17/2019 9:44:52 AM

I am pretty darn perceptive.



I don't want to be condescending - but that line is repeated in these forums ad nauseum by women who were all fooled or misled in some way.


My talent of perception has served me very well over the years. I'm very rarely surprised by anyone but that guy was dang good! Still can't believe it. Still convinced it was a personality change or someone hacked his account....like a teenage son or someone. Blew me away although days later, I have heard nothing further so I have to assume he realizes he was BUSTED and has moved on to more naive fish.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 37
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Why do men change?
Posted: 2/17/2019 4:35:33 PM
When I was still dating I always talked online for about a week before meeting.That pretty much always weeded out the undesirables. Most won't waste more than a few days before bringing up something sexual if that's their intention.
 MyTrueCompanion
Joined: 9/20/2018
Msg: 38
Why do men change?
Posted: 2/17/2019 8:08:17 PM
Many years ago when I was new to OLD I chatted w/ a man. All was nice & out of the blue he said:

I've got Jesus in my heart & the devil in my pants

Maybe he suffers from the same malady?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 39
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Why do men change?
Posted: 2/18/2019 2:06:35 PM

I had a lovely phone conversation with a man just the other day. OMGosh. We had so much in common! We laughed, we prayed, we shared our lives.

Wow, that's quite a phone call with someone you never met before - lol. It makes the next thing more apt to happen...

That same night, this man seems to have undergone a personality change because his comments to me on POF were less than respectful when he is clearly hinting about phone sex.

... it was that same night. He had no personality change. We're not fruit flies, we're human. You can enjoy getting to know someone and click really well and truly enjoy all that.... but at the end of the day, feeling frisky. You may think it's a total personality change-over because it goes outside the stereotypes/generalizations we have on people in general.

Now, if he was hinting at phone sex later on that evening in a message on POF after your fruitful phone call -- I don't call that contradictory. As you say, you have no problem with that with an SO -- but for other folks, you don't need an SO. Some see it as some big leap, others see it as sexy-time at a distance, therefore 'safe' in a way. People have their their comfort-zones and POVs. He should though have a brain in his head knowing that could certainly turn you off, although some people aren't that bright and he'd figure that it wouldn't make you run away scared and was testing the waters to what he seemed more TV14, not NC-17.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 40
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Why do men change?
Posted: 2/18/2019 2:36:36 PM
Huh...? I just know I had a meaningful and enjoyable conversation with a man who became an idiot. I was disappointed. Period. It comes with the OLD territory. I get that. Doesn't negate the disappointment.
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 41
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Why do men change?
Posted: 2/18/2019 4:32:18 PM

Jesus in my heart & the devil in my pants


... WOW !! True Companion, you hit on something I think quite a bit about every now and then. The fact that our creator ( God, the Supreme Being, the entity, the big Kahuna, however we wish to speak of it / him / her / whatever ) Put a huge bit, or a TAD way too much ZEST into a male human beings sex drive / desire . And I do relegate the problem to be mostly a male thing - as I don't see nearly as many females exhibiting the following actions ...

... Seems, as far as the need / desire for s*ex goes ~ SOME EVIL MEN are obsessed with it. Often to the point of > 1) killing for it 2) raping for it 3) willing to die for it 4) willing to kidnap for it 5) willing to fight for it 6) willing to dominate for it 7) willing to torture & maim for it 8) willing to start wars over it 9) willing to turn his back on his family, friends & anyone in his way for it 10) willing to go crazy / insane over it 10 ) willing to destroy the very earth over it 11) will belittle and make some feel sub - human over it ...

... ^^ Just a few observations , with many more I'm sure . And as far as " some " b*astards keeping it in their pants when they should, might just as well kill the evil dudes cause > if the deranged f-ers are breathing & not over 80 yrs. old > they will seek out s*ex, no matter what the consequences to the innocents ...

... This is why I wish more women would conceal carry, because we need to ELIMINATE ( that means get rid of ) the men who absolutely CANNOT control their mental deficiencies & " overly large libidos created by God " ...

... heart / get rid of some f*uckheads / sun ...
 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 42
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Why do men change?
Posted: 2/18/2019 5:02:43 PM
OP, I think men change because men, women, people and life in general are always changing. At any given time in this vast expanse of life this man could have been not just drunk but most probably also horny. Maybe he was in a state of drunken horniness when you 2 talked. Maybe he was stoned on pot too which would just enhance the horniness.


Gosh, I sure don't know but simple respect for drunken, marijuana enhanced horniness could go far towards enhancing everyones good feelings and maybe even lead to world peace?
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 43
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Why do men change?
Posted: 2/18/2019 5:22:50 PM

Gosh, I sure don't know but simple respect for drunken, marijuana enhanced horniness could go far towards enhancing everyones good feelings and maybe even lead to world peace?


Gosh. That would be really good if the people involved were on the same page!
 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 44
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Why do men change?
Posted: 2/18/2019 5:25:55 PM
^^funny and so true!fasalatido which brings us back to the dear op lol
 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 45
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Why do men change?
Posted: 2/18/2019 5:32:59 PM
#43, you realized you weren't a match for this fellow. Why he changed and revealed his other side I can't say.


But, on a plus note there seems to be plenty of folks who like what you do. Hopefully you will connect with some of them.

I say, be grateful for folks who reveal their true selves even if it shocks and disappoints.
 MyTrueCompanion
Joined: 9/20/2018
Msg: 46
Why do men change?
Posted: 2/18/2019 7:24:34 PM

be grateful for folks who reveal their true selves even if it shocks and disappoints

LOL

4 the Jesus/DevilGuy...


https://youtu.be/e4Cs3Pp7mYg
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 47
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Why do men change?
Posted: 2/18/2019 11:28:10 PM
... col ... ( chuckle out loud )

... 4 the Jesus/DevilGal ...

... MSG 150 ... ( you know where )

... heart / music / sun ...
 MyTrueCompanion
Joined: 9/20/2018
Msg: 48
Why do men change?
Posted: 2/19/2019 4:39:16 AM
^^^

https://youtu.be/hv_zJrO_ptk







In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 49
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Why do men change?
Posted: 2/19/2019 10:03:19 AM

Many years ago when I was new to OLD I chatted w/ a man. All was nice & out of the blue he said:

I've got Jesus in my heart & the devil in my pants

Maybe he suffers from the same malady?


OMGosh! Too funny but you've 'nailed' it. Lol.....
 RefinedRibbon
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 50
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Why do men change?
Posted: 2/20/2019 6:01:38 AM
Seems he had a connection with you but took it bit to far he should keep the snake in the cage men get exited easy but they have to remember manners and true this guy could been on something . Know one has to do anything they do not feel conferrable doing you can all way's say no because you have a right to your boundaries that you do not know them that their has to be good connection but I am not here for sex I need to know your going to be long term not just sex.
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