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problems with time wasters and unexplainable vanishingPage 4 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Women have a longer list of requirements men need to pass in order to get a second date.


Not really. It basically comes down to being attractive and fun, and if there's one thing I believe many people here on the forums might struggle with (based on their posts, at least) it's being fun. They seem about as fun as watching a weekend marathon of C-SPAN, honestly.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 77
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Posted: 4/30/2019 11:39:12 AM
^^ Brutal

I agree on the being fun on a date and being able to ask questions and converse rather than waffle about ones self goes a long way.
 wood_smell_as_sweet
Joined: 2/20/2019
Msg: 78
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Posted: 4/30/2019 11:47:52 AM
“I’ve been told that insisting a woman pay her share of a bill comes off as unattractive and standoffish. Overall, I think women are more standoffish than men. Women have a longer list of requirements men need to pass in order to get a second date.”

Kokanee_Ice, if you invite women out and insist that they pay their share of the bill, you might come off to some of them as unattractive, but not standoffish. Standoffish means a person is aloof, emotionally closed off, unsociable or hard to get to know. Being standoffish has nothing to do with financial generosity, and women aren't any more standoffish than men. Furthermore, being selective and having a lot of requirements has nothing to do with being standoffish. Men can be just as selective as women.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 79
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Posted: 4/30/2019 12:15:04 PM

_Ice, if you invite women out and insist that they pay their share of the bill, you might come off to some of them as unattractive, but not standoffish. Standoffish means a person is aloof, emotionally closed off, unsociable or hard to get to know. Being standoffish has nothing to do with financial generosity, and women aren't any more standoffish than men. Furthermore, being selective and having a lot of requirements has nothing to do with being standoffish. Men can be just as selective as women.

Agreed. I do think that talking 'check paying" or anything financial during a meeting can be unattractive since it is boring and uninspiring.Perhaps it makes him look emotionally closed off.



not really. It basically comes down to being attractive and fun, and if there's one thing I believe many people here on the forums might struggle with (based on their posts, at least) it's being fun. They seem about as fun as watching a weekend marathon of C-SPAN, honestly.


I see that crack was made about me. You elevate me too much. I am as fun as the emergency broadcast . Luckily some nutty chicks can see "THINGS" in the static.
problems with time wasters and unexplainable vanishing
Posted: 4/30/2019 4:06:58 PM

I see that crack was made about me.


??

No, I'm referring to the people who haven't dated or been in a relationship in eons and have spent far too much time honing their debate skills. I just get a feeling that all of the overanalytical hair-splitting and eagerness to make points has inadvertently become a large portion of their personality.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 81
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Posted: 4/30/2019 4:35:29 PM
^^just joking. But C SPAN has its moments. I watch the meetings concerning NATO,etc. It is fun watching Generals try to squeeze the US taxpayer to protect Moscovia!
As for those who haven't dated since Lyndon Johnson was at the helm, yes , things are a bit different. On forums it seems few want to compromise or adapt. Sure get pickier as we age, but realize time is running out! Have fun.
problems with time wasters and unexplainable vanishing
Posted: 4/30/2019 5:11:53 PM


I agree on the being fun on a date and being able to ask questions and converse rather than waffle about ones self goes a long way.


I have to admit, I couldn't give two shits about introspective and intelligent conversation or interview-style questioning on a "first date". When you throw genuine fun at them, the walls come down much quicker.



^^just joking. But C SPAN has its moments


I just remembered a funny story. I was about 14 years old and a friend swiped one of his Dad's porn tapes, then let me borrow it. I was worried about my mother rummaging through my room and discovering it, so he ripped the original label off the side of the tape, and put a new one on. He wrote "Best of C-Span" on it with a gold marker....hahaha.
 bbbuyguy
Joined: 4/25/2019
Msg: 83
problems with time wasters and unexplainable vanishing
Posted: 4/30/2019 8:46:11 PM
"Being fun" is relative. It's subjective. What's one's "fun" could be another person's "fun".
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 84
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Posted: 4/30/2019 8:53:15 PM
that you are meeting very attractive women at all, you are doing better than most on here. We dont know how you come across with dates or what impression you give. The girls are just having a bit of fun and waiting for Mr Rich and Handsome perhaps...... Who would know? Do you foot the whole bill? On a first meet it should be 50/50...

Three dates that went nowhere is not many. Some guys and gals have to meet dozens and even hundreds before they find the one.

You should be able to meet in women in real life if you are popular here and can actually meet women.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 85
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Posted: 4/30/2019 9:04:13 PM
While we don't have C-Span up here, we do have CPAC (Canadian Parliamentary Affairs Channel) and I could watch that for eons. I have never ever dated a guy that liked politics though but it's a secret hope one day I'll meet someone who does. Two weeks ago I took my girls to the provincial legislature to watch the assembly in action and I could have sat there for hours.
problems with time wasters and unexplainable vanishing
Posted: 5/1/2019 12:44:14 AM

"Being fun" is relative. It's subjective. What's one's "fun" could be another person's "fun".


Yeah? Tell me which you believe the average woman will find more appealing?

A. Two hours of conversation that closely parallels the posts you commonly see here.

B. Two hours on a dance floor with an attractive guy and light-hearted conversation every few songs.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 87
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Posted: 5/1/2019 3:38:25 AM

Kokanee_Ice, if you invite women out and insist that they pay their share of the bill, you might come off to some of them as unattractive, but not standoffish. Standoffish means a person is aloof, emotionally closed off, unsociable or hard to get to know. Being standoffish has nothing to do with financial generosity, and women aren't any more standoffish than men. Furthermore, being selective and having a lot of requirements has nothing to do with being standoffish. Men can be just as selective as women.


Does the same thing apply if a woman invites a man out and insists that they pay their share. Whenever I’ve been invited out by women they’ve never offered to pay for me.

Yes, some men will be just as selective as women if they can be. However, on any dating site I think it’s more the women that have the opportunity to be selective. Men carpet bomb - which shows that they’re not very picky and will take what they can get. I also don’t think men are as picky as women when it comes wanting a certain degree of financial stability in a partner. You could argue that men judge more by looks, but I think that’s false - women judge a man by his height and build, which also has to do with looks.
 bbbuyguy
Joined: 4/25/2019
Msg: 88
problems with time wasters and unexplainable vanishing
Posted: 5/1/2019 4:17:37 AM
Sounds like a loaded question.

I'm not sure what posts you are referring to. Of course the operative word is "attractive". I've noticed you inserted "attractive" in scenario B, but not A. I might add that attractive is also subjective. I'm sure both situations would be appealing if the woman found the man attractive...to her.

I've known long term relationships to come of 2-hour long conversations that don't include dancing. There are some women that don't like to go dancing.

A lot of variables to consider.
problems with time wasters and unexplainable vanishing
Posted: 5/1/2019 4:51:48 AM


I'm not sure what posts you are referring to.


Stick around long enough and you'll see.


I've noticed you inserted "attractive" in scenario B, but not A. I might add that attractive is also subjective. I'm sure both situations would be appealing if the woman found the man attractive...to her.


The woman obviously had to find the man attractive on some level in both scenarios to agree to the date to begin with. But no, the average woman isn't going to be particularly thrilled with some jack-off looking to engage in lengthy debate. I've seen guys do this before in an attempt to show how "smart" they are, and it ended up being a self-centered performance to make up for the fact they know nothing about being fun.


There are some women that don't like to go dancing.


There are men who don't like blowjobs, either, but I certainly wouldn't consider them the norm.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 90
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Posted: 5/1/2019 6:09:40 AM

Yes, some men will be just as selective as women if they can be. However, on any dating site I think it’s more the women that have the opportunity to be selective. Men carpet bomb - which shows that they’re not very picky and will take what they can get. I also don’t think men are as picky as women when it comes wanting a certain degree of financial stability in a partner. You could argue that men judge more by looks, but I think that’s false - women judge a man by his height and build, which also has to do with looks.


Correct. Perhaps in the past but the modern Anglo cultured women is actually much more picky than men because they go by both superficial and non superficial variables. But since men generally prioritize looks , they claim we are more superficial. But in reality women are just as superficial PLUS lol.

Men carpet bomb - which shows that they’re not very picky and will take what they can get.

Disagree. Most carpet bomb but still choose based on looks, just as in real life. OLD what else is there to go by anyway? Most women profiles don't say much and even the ones that do DON'T really give insight into their souls, so t speak.


I've known long term relationships to come of 2-hour long conversations that don't include dancing. There are some women that don't like to go dancing.

Correct,although the real hot ones tend to like physical activity, but 2 hour conversation BETTER be interesting with good flow and laughs here and there. Interview type questions aren't fun and won't excite anyone. There are profiles that are basically interview/resume style, no surprise for the lack of interest. I don't blame them though, Markus (owner of POF) actually has given bad advice of how the standard template should be.


When you throw genuine fun at them, the walls come down much quicker.

True and the panties down and boots off, not necessarily in that order. What is ironic is I have become more "fun"(subjective) as I aged. I could understand young ones being more cautious since they might want to start families and find someone to help finance their "American dream". At my age there really aren't too many negatives from picking the wrong person. We get an UNDO button.
 bbbuyguy
Joined: 4/25/2019
Msg: 91
problems with time wasters and unexplainable vanishing
Posted: 5/1/2019 6:41:13 AM
My conversations with women usually run along the lines whatever shared hobby or experiences we have. If it's about hiking/kayaking, we go down that route. If it's about other interests, we discuss that and so on and it's usually a fun and not too deep of a conversation. It's good for a starter or an ice breaker.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 92
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Posted: 5/1/2019 7:00:23 AM

I have to admit, I couldn't give two shits about introspective and intelligent conversation or interview-style questioning on a "first date". When you throw genuine fun at them, the walls come down much quicker.


I avoid an Interview style conversation. I don't react well with being grilled about stuff.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 93
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Posted: 5/1/2019 9:39:02 AM

Disagree. Most carpet bomb but still choose based on looks, just as in real life. OLD what else is there to go by anyway? Most women profiles don't say much and even the ones that do DON'T really give insight into their souls, so t speak.


Then why is it that when I created a fake female profile with no pic it only took a few minutes to start getting messages. There were guys who just said “Hi”, guys who were asking for sex and guys even demanding a pic. Men are much more aggressive and proactive than women when it comes to initiating contact.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 94
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Posted: 5/1/2019 10:03:52 AM
^^You answered your own question. Guys wanting sex will write anyone apparently.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 95
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Posted: 5/1/2019 10:17:08 AM
Dancing....sigh...guys of my generation (born around 1978 to 1988) do not go out dancing. During my high school years, school dances poorly attended and no one really danced. I remember my school grad dance (the closest thing we had to a prom) which mainly had just girls dancing. In my young adult years in the city, at most guys would go out to clubs and if they got drunk enough, would go out to dance. Mostly they just leared at the edge of the dance floor and watched the women dance with each other. If a slow song came on then they might dance but what I noticed is they rarely played slow songs in clubs, just maybe every dozen songs or so and the way in which the guys danced could barely be described as dancing.

My parents actually met when my dad asked her to dance. Their's was a very passionate relationship that went kaboom after a number of years but despite that kaboom, I still cherish all the memories of seeing them dance together, which they did alot, even in our livingroom. That generation and the generations before them, did a lot of their "courting" via dancing. I blame the guys of my generation because somewhere along the way it became uncool to do couples-dancing. Now the only time I see guys in my generation dance is at weddings when they are forced to by their wives/girlfriends or are part of the wedding party. I wish guys would want to dance because I think it is a missed opportunity on their part. Too many times I've gone out and seen 99% of the people on the dance floor are all women. If a guy said he was taking me out dancing he would get lots of bonus points with me. I always daydream of dancing with a guy. The only guys I ever got to dance with were me dad, my cousin and two guys who asked me who I wasn't interested in one iota but who asked and I admired the effort.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 96
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Posted: 5/1/2019 10:32:36 AM
^^^
Absolutely correct July! Which is why is men grew a pair and actually went and DANCED on the floor, they would have an advantage picking up gals. They don't even have to dance well. Girls consider any guy on the floor dancing "good enough" when 99% of guys hold up the wall.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 97
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Posted: 5/1/2019 10:56:38 AM

A. Two hours of conversation that closely parallels the posts you commonly see here.


AKA "cruel and unusual punishment".



There are some women that don't like to go dancing.


AKA women who have no legs.



I don't react well with being grilled


Me either.
My skin blisters easily.



You could argue that men judge more by looks, but I think that’s false


It's absolutely false.
Nine times out of ten, when I get a reply, the first message includes a question or comment about my lack of a picture.
I even came across one woman's profile where she claimed in the About Me that she didn't judge people on looks.
And then at the bottom, one of her mail restrictions was ...."Must have a picture".
So, you don't judge people on looks, but you have to see their looks before you will even talk to them?
Another SMH moment.



Yes, some men will be just as selective as women if they can be.


I am selective because I choose to be.
Devoting my time and energy to someone unappealing is........unappealing.

 wood_smell_as_sweet
Joined: 2/20/2019
Msg: 98
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Posted: 5/1/2019 11:02:43 AM
"I even came across one woman's profile where she claimed in the About Me that she didn't judge people on looks.
And then at the bottom, one of her mail restrictions was ...."Must have a picture".
So, you don't judge people on looks, but you have to see their looks before you will even talk to them?
Another SMH moment."

fullmoonguy2, a picture is necessary to make sure you're who you say you are. For all she knows, you could be some 12 year old kid or a 90 year old man.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 99
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Posted: 5/1/2019 11:11:20 AM
I don't actually enjoy 2 hour conversations, to be honest.
I think I'm a weirdo, and when I think on it, it sort of depresses me.
I see men my age in a picnic pullover (polo) and I'm already bored.
Dad jeans are just as bad as mom jeans.
Wicked soft spoken, afraid to laugh out loud..cringe.
Likes to read, but only reads NY times best sellers or non-fiction. blah.
Likes to go on drives, but drives slow and has his seat up so far he can rest his chin on the
steering wheel.
Follows all the rules all the time.
Thinks when you paint or color, the sky should be blue and the trees green.
Parts his hair and doesn't like it mussed...if he has hair.
Only eats at sit down places with menus.
Gads, I could go on...this is my generation.
I'm all outta sync.

I'm more a butterflies are free sort of person.
I shall die single....and happy.



There are men who don't like blowjobs, either, but I certainly wouldn't consider them the norm


 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 100
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Posted: 5/1/2019 11:24:01 AM

fullmoonguy2, a picture is necessary to make sure you're who you say you are. For all she knows, you could be some 12 year old kid or a 90 year old man.


Seriously?

You don't think a 12 year old capable of setting up the profile could also post a pic of a 62 year old?

Do you really believe that all of the pictures posted on dating sites show what the people who set up the profile actually look like?

No wonder the scammers are so successful.

The latest scam around here is women's profiles with pictures of age 20 something models claiming an age of 50 something.
Am I supposed to believe they are real?
Just because they have a picture?

Having a picture on the profile does not guarantee that someone is really who they say they are, and not having a picture on the profile does not guarantee that someone is not really who they say they are.

Any other line of thinking is lacking in careful analysis.
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