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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!      Home login  
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 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 26
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
You can block him and that'll solve your problem with this individual.
 Qura
Joined: 8/5/2014
Msg: 27
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/20/2019 6:46:53 PM
I'll exchange about 5 messages and if we are not set to for coffee or another short meet and greet by then, I'm on to the next.

So your scenario can't happen to me. I don't care how much I "like" what I've seen and read--nothing is real until you meet. A short, casual interaction IRL will be enough to determine if we each want to move forward.

Any adult who is so hesitant to have a public encounter is going to be more work than I'm willing to do.

Are you sure he isn't still married?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 28
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/27/2019 2:45:40 PM

Even though ive been talking to a guy for weeks on WhatsApp he says hes scared he might get hurt if we meet but he is still actively looking for dates on pof?

That's a BS excuse. Seriously. The only way there'd be an element of truth to this would be that he might get hurt by his GF if he actually follows-thru on meeting up with a gal in real life. :)

It doesn't add up. I'm confused.

It kinda does. It adds up that he Doesn't REALLY want to meet you. But he wants to Talk to you. You realize some people are in-fact like this, right? Usually they have a significant other or are Not what they say they are in their profile. Their "hurt" will be due to the shadiness that he Won't be able to get away with, if you actually do meet.

Why put yourself through not only the hassle of looking if you're not ready to meet, and also keeping someone dangling??

Attention! Feeling Wanted! It's Still an experience! But that's all he Can feasibly get -- whether he has a GF, or is not what he says he is, which you'd surely find out about. In other words, meeting you would surely result in disaster. On his part. But what is he supposed to do? Sit in his parents' or girlfriends' basement, and not get any attention he craves from cute women? Hell no. See -- he's Restricted to only being able to do what he's doing. That is WHY it Is enough for him.

Am I being strung along by this guy??Am I being strung along by this guy??

Of COURSE. You're describing how you're being strung along. If he wanted to meet you, after a few weeks, he wouldn't be avoiding it. Period. Actions speak louder than words. Period.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 29
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/27/2019 8:44:19 PM
Now we need an update from the OP. Did she meet him this past weekend or not?
 CarmenA2212
Joined: 4/17/2018
Msg: 30
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/29/2019 1:11:16 PM
Haha hello everyone and thank you so much for the feedback. Of course you were pretty much all right. This guy was weird as hell.

Prior to the date he deleted his pof profile, when I asked him why he said because he really liked me and he didn't think it was fair to keep his profile active. I found this really odd considering we'd never met.

I did meet him last Sunday, he turned up half an hour late. I was actually driving out of the meeting place as he was driving in as I got fed up of waiting. He wound down his window and apologised saying he was stuck at the petrol station. He had messaged earlier saying he was going to be 15 minutes late so I wasn't expecting him on time anyway.

He was a little scruffy looking, my first impression was not good. He wasn't as good looking in the flesh as in his pictures. He was a little passive aggressive when I said I was annoyed he was late, he suggested we should just forget the date because I was in a bad mood and that we should reschedule. I felt I'd already wasted enough time just getting this first date so I said I'd prefer to sit have chat and a coffee. The afternoon was pleasant enough. Although I was concerned that he had purposely left his phone in his car, said he didn't receive the text message I'd sent after he messaged to say he'd be 15 minutes late, and didn't answer the phone to me when I called him when it was approaching half hour past the time we should have met. Considering we both lived exactly half an hour away from the meeting point I asked him what time he set off. He said 40 minutes before the agreed time, but he stopped off at the petrol station and got stuck behind someone who was slow at the pump. I didn't believe any of it. As soon as he got in his car after the date the first thing he did was check his phone, but not WhatsApp ( I checked too but he wasn't online).

He asked me on the date if I wanted to see him again, which took me by surprise, I said I didn't know I needed to go home and reflect on the day. He wasn't happy with my response, I could tell by the look he gave me. It was a bit uncomfortable so I just laughed.

He let me pay for the food which really put me off him, although he had paid for the drinks earlier in the day.

The next day the conversation was awkward. He messaged asking if I still liked him, my response was he was a nice enough guy but I didn't think we had anything in common. He then replied..oh Ok....but do you want to see me again!! I found that response odd!!

Now, I said yes I'd see him again but I had concerns. I asked him how his day was after the date had ended and he replied 'it was great'. I then asked where did you go again and he replied 'Tunnelling '. Now this all seems pretty normal, but I had suggested to him on the date that if he wanted us to get to know each other better he needed to be more open about himself and not respond to my questions with vague answers as he hadn't been very open about himself during the 3 weeks leading up to the date. He actually suggested on the date that I ask him everything I wanted to know because he had nothing to hide. I said it doesn't work like that, yes I can ask questions but getting to know someone takes time and you can't get to know someone fully on a first date, so when I received his vague replies again, I was annoyed so I didn't message for the rest of the day, and he didn't message me.
I think at this point I knew I wasn't going to meet him again. He just wasn't for me.

Later on that day I'd noticed he had changed his WhatsApp picture to one of those whiney picture messages about being fed up of being messed around and was sick of being in this world...blah blah blah. Obviously aimed at me because we hadn't spoken for a few hours. So I didn't bother to speak to him until the next morning.
Only when I looked to message him the next morning he had blocked me. 🤣🤣🤣🤣. So I text him saying it was a good decision on his behalf to block me and I 100% accepted his decision.

I found his behaviour very odd, and it was quite frankly a relief when I saw he had blocked me. He told me his ex wife had remarried, he was coming across as if he was desperate to be with someone because she'd moved on.

The Friday night before the date I was out with friends and he was messaging me asking me to send pictures from the pub as if he thought I was out on a date with someone else. A lot of red flags were appearing so him blocking me I think was a good thing.

Apologies if this response is long...I'm on my mobile I can't see how much I've typed lol.
 CarmenA2212
Joined: 4/17/2018
Msg: 31
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/29/2019 1:15:18 PM
Qura, you were right...more hassle than it was worth. Next time I wont allow the process to be dragged out
 qtoons13
Joined: 2/10/2017
Msg: 32
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 4/13/2019 8:12:01 AM

Qura, you were right...more hassle than it was worth. Next time I wont allow the process to be dragged out,


I am sorry to have been correct, but better you find out now than losing more time.

A large % of folks I've met on here will bail before the first meeting. They nearly always accept an invitation, but then the excuse comes to cancel, postpone, whatever. Perhaps they have very high social anxiety. At my age, however, I consider it my responsibility to tend to my own needs and struggles, and I won't impose them on others. I expect other mature adults to do the same. If you cannot overcome your anxiety for a simple meet-and-greet, you have work to do. I have lots of empathy and I do understand. I'm moving on and you can try again later. No harm, no foul.

I imagine some of these folks are not who they pretend to be, too. Their hesitation is my warning. Moving on.

Mature adults know how to do this. I am not so desperate that I will wait around for anyone who has not done the work of growing up and confronting their own insecurities. That is not a criticism on my part--it's a statement of fact. I do not judge them and I feel compassion. And I know what I want and need, too. It is both my right and responsibility to look after my own needs and not someone else's unless they happen to be children :)

I wish you luck, @CarmenA2212, in finding someone more compatible.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 33
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 4/13/2019 8:48:43 AM

I'm desperate to meet him because I actually think we might click.



This guy was weird as hell.


He wasn't as good looking in the flesh as in his pictures.


but I didn't think we had anything in common.


I found his behaviour very odd, and it was quite frankly a relief when I saw he had blocked me.


So much for "clicking."


He wasn't as good looking in the flesh as in his pictures.


And yet, almost everyone (besides me of course) doing online dating is obsessed with pictures.


Now, I said yes I'd see him again


It never ends.

Even after all the above.


Mature adults know how to do this


Who ??
 Jay6598
Joined: 3/30/2019
Msg: 34
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 4/13/2019 9:48:27 PM
Wow. See, if they act weird while your messaging them, that's telling you something right away.

I won't endlessly message someone. If they don't ask for a meet within a week or two at the most, I just fade away. I get so bored messaging someone I've never laid eyes on and is basically a stranger to me. How the hell do I even know if I have a bonafide interest?
I've come to appreciate that if they don't ask, there's a reason why that I don't need the answer to and I'm totally cool with that and move on.
Really, why the heck else are we here for? Dates? yep.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!