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 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 76
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#72

You are naive if you think women don’t also compete with each other for the most desirable men.

LOL.....Have you forgotten my age and divorced at 30 after 15 years with the same man? I've never had to compete for a man's attention nor would it have occurred to me. If I or a friend knew another woman was interested in someone, my circle of friends considered him strictly 'hands off'. There were plenty of men lining up anyway....just like today, either IRL or OLD.

So? Did it ever occur to you that maybe if you don’t pay your own way he might not also want to see you again. It can go both ways.

Well...seeing as I had already decided that I didn't want to see him again....your point is meaningless. What you are forgetting is that women have the advantage....fewer of them in OLD....so rejection is rare.

It's commonly known as 'the' dating ritual.


The dinner date is no ritual or tradition, but a modern creation. I mean, when did it become common?

"commonly known" does not equal "common".

Because your opinion is a deliberate attempt to bring down my self-esteem and was more of a personal attack.

You seem to have a knack for misinterpretation? I'm on your side here....just trying to help you see from the perspective of a woman with experience, that your ideology on meeting a partner will not be successful.

#73

I don't suppose you noticed my profile also states I'm only here for the forums, did you?

I certainly noticed that your headline does not express that. Perhaps you are hoping that some pretty little sows will snuffle through your slops? lol
Goody two shoes....lol....At your age, we've already lived your experiences and realized they are often empty and without gratification.

#74

When women invite you out they won't pay for you so obviously women mostly in 2019 don't think they should pay for a man.

Women think that may emasculate a man whereas a man who offers to pay is displaying his 'masculinity'.

#75

ITA!
For me, truly being courted is the way to my heart. Putting that bit of effort in is impressive, and goes a long way with a lot of women.
Now, as a relationship develops, most women will start paying their way.

Bingo! And if a man does not care to see her again, it is his option not to pay. Goes two ways as KI said earlier....but doesn't seem to actually understand being so focused on his initial equality expectations.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 77
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Posted: 5/4/2019 11:16:18 AM

.....Have you forgotten my age and divorced at 30 after 15 years with the same man? I've never had to compete for a man's attention nor would it have occurred to me. If I or a friend knew another woman was interested in someone, my circle of friends considered him strictly 'hands off'. There were plenty of men lining up anyway....just like today, either IRL or OLD.


In that case, you’re not qualified to give me advice since you don’t know what it’s like to experience rejection. If you were a man you would see things differently. You’re age or life experience doesn’t matter if you can’t relate to where I’m coming from.


Well...seeing as I had already decided that I didn't want to see him again....your point is meaningless. What you are forgetting is that women have the advantage....fewer of them in OLD....so rejection is rare.


In OLD there are about three times as many men as women. But in real life women make up slightly more than half of the world’s population. In certain activities, such as dancing or yoga, you’ll find more women than men. How can women have the advantage in real life? Maybe the most beautiful women will get of lot of attention from men, but the average woman still has to compete.


You seem to have a knack for misinterpretation? I'm on your side here....just trying to help you see from the perspective of a woman with experience, that your ideology on meeting a partner will not be successful.


You don’t seem to understand that I can’t find a woman attractive who doesn’t understand why I value equality. It’s because of my life experiences and discrimination that I’ve had to deal with. I will not reveal my life’s story on a public forum, but unlike most guys I don’t judge by just physical attraction. I need a woman who can understand where I’m coming from.


Women think that may emasculate a man whereas a man who offers to pay is displaying his 'masculinity'.


Any man who thinks he might be emasculated by a woman buying him a coffee has a fragile ego. Why would you want to date such a man anyway? How can a man force you to not pay? Is he your boss or your dad? Did he twist your arm?


Now, as a relationship develops, most women will start paying their way.


Really? There’s articles online about how women have saved hundreds of dollars each month by having men from OLD sites take them out to dinner. Paying for a date is no proof that a man wants to invest in a relationship since men also pay for sex. Look what happened to July - man wined and dined her at an expensive restaurant, and it turned out he only wanted to get laid. It is also possible that a man who splits the bill on a first date just values equality, and he is genuinely interested in a long-term relationship.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 78
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Posted: 5/4/2019 11:35:22 AM

In OLD there are about three times as many men as women. But in real life women make up slightly more than half of the world’s population. In certain activities, such as dancing or yoga, you’ll find more women than men. How can women have the advantage in real life? Maybe the most beautiful women will get of lot of attention from men, but the average woman still has to compete.


True but IRL it will even be harder to filter women to find the exact type that will pay. That being said, women will always have the advantage as long as most men want sex and will also carpet bomb women. Even average women have full inboxes. Women are ALL competing for the top 10% of men and seem to ignore the rest. As you always say women can have sex whenever they want so they can hold out. Realize I am talking about North American women. In Ukraine for example I can rent you out my moms family home and there the women WILL compete for men. The average women looks like a North American 8. Heck, they go to classes to learn how give BJ'S better to get a man.
Oh wait! That won't work for you because being a traditional chauvinistic society men are expected to pay for everything. You will even have to pay for her friends drinks if they are at your table. But if you REALLY have the advantage right now why are you starting this thread? Your inbox should be full of feminist women, like your sister, who are hot and will pay their own way and even treat you!



Did you mean Baby Boomers?

I was born in '64, and consider myself a Boomer.

Thanks for telling him that, he was a bit off with the generation.



Women think that may emasculate a man whereas a man who offers to pay is displaying his 'masculinity'.

I heard that before and that's why it is just easier to pay. Awkward moments don't build attraction. Usually I am working on the 1st kiss, don't have time and energy to start counting dollars splitting the check.

Any man who thinks he might be emasculated by a woman buying him a coffee has a fragile ego.

Judgmental again? I am the one with the Pysch degrees Mr. Freud Lego my ego. Men have grown up that they have a role. If a women treats a man the way a man treats a women it makes sense he might have his ego hurt. I still think men who wear pink outfits are queer..perhaps you are pretty in pink?:P

OP why don't you jump into this thread:over 45

"No time for coffee dates, at my age (No time for coffee or any beverage meeting, at ANY age)"

You will love the last post in that thread.It seems it is filled with entitled women who think your a "lesser man" even if you pay for drinks. YOU must buy a feast! Jump into it and even I will back you up since entitlement is wrong. That is different than a simple courting ritual that the other person is grateful for. Get in that thread DON'T take their Sh$t!
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 79
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Posted: 5/4/2019 12:42:22 PM

True but IRL it will even be harder to filter women to find the exact type that will pay. That being said, women will always have the advantage as long as most men want sex and will also carpet bomb women.


Yes, but most women don’t want just sex and claim that they don’t like the whole “carpet bombing” phenomenon. There are a lot of men who just want sex with no commitment. You would think that the guy who is actually looking for a real relationship and who writes well thought-out, intelligent message would have an advantage, but it doesn’t seem so. For example, I could write, “Hi, I read read your profile and saw that your into animal rights and social justice. These are also important issues to me. I’ve taken philosophy courses university in which had to do with animal rights and social justice. I would like to have an intelligent conversation with you.” - No response. Then I could write, “Hey baby,” and get a response like “Hey Ice, want to talk on the phone?” Are women really not as shallow as they claim to be? It drives me crazy. Even in real life women don’t seem to pay more attention to me just because I want to have an intelligent conversation. Then there’s dudes who are tall with a few muscles and aren’t into any intellectual activities who have girlfriends.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 80
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Posted: 5/4/2019 12:55:52 PM
Yeah but are they the same women?
The women you said hi baby found you attractive and the other one didn't.
They can say they don't like carpet bombing but if their inbox has 100 messages that gives them an opportunity to choose among that inbox.

Did you read that other thread yet?
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 81
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Posted: 5/4/2019 1:05:37 PM
^^^ Yes, I read that other thread. It’s an old one from 2008, and Flowersinthelake brought it up. I’m not sure if she’s being entirely truthful when she says she can find a man to buy her dinner wherever she wants. She has no pic and has been on this site for years. If she was so successful she would be taken by now and in a relationship.

If women want intelligent messages then they shouldn’t choose to respond to any carpet bombing, even if there are hundreds of messages like that in their inbox.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 82
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Posted: 5/4/2019 1:16:14 PM
^^^She is serious , always calling men cheap. Now guys like you are "lesser" lol
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 83
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Posted: 5/4/2019 3:14:10 PM

In OLD there are about three times as many men as women.



OMG, I am so tired of people making up bS stats about OLD just to support their personal viewpoint.

"Research firm GlobalWebIndex surveyed 32 countries, and found that 62% of dating app users are men."

"The news isn't entirely surprising. In 2013, Pew Research Center found that men were more active on dating apps and sites. Some 13% of American males had used an app or site, compared to only 9% of American women."

SO, IN THE U.S. IT APPEARS THERE ARE 4% MORE MEN THAN WOMEN ON OLD.

http://time.com/3711902/men-use-dating/
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 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 84
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Posted: 5/4/2019 4:59:55 PM
^^^
Well you are making it harder to prove my point. Let Kokaine believe it is 3 to 1 if he wants to, so he will work harder!
That being said the statistic you mention doesn't equate equally across age groups. I believe sometime after 50 the ratio might even out but in the 20's I think Cowboy(used to moderate here) said it was 9 to 1 ration. So it depends on age group.

But what really is important is not the amount of accounts CREATED but actual ACTIVELY assertively searching females to men. Lets forget all the thousands of fake women accounts OR women who have profiles for attention grabbing..women who are often married or engaged but not really looking.

At the end of the day dating sites are much more full with ACTIVELY ASSERTIVE male accounts. This is where the carpet bombing comes into play.
For arguments sake, lets say there are 100k men and 100k women. Lets say men find the top 70k of women attractive enough for men initiate a message. That means 70k women that will EACH get messages from each of the 100k men who carpet bomb once the men see their profile. So every women can technically get 100k messages EACH. Of course other factors come into play so women DON'T actually get that many but my example is an example of how it kind of plays out.

I can say with experience that in a VERY large metro area women literally get hundreds per day because there are so many men sending messages. More messages means more CHOICE.

There is also the 90% rule thingy. Top 10% gets more dates than the other 90%. This applies to men but women who are in the top 60% of women can get even more dates than the top 10% of men. Therefore there is an unequal dating value of men with online dating and even in real life in North America anyway. It should be obvious on these very forums since you see much more men complaining they can't meet anyone and much more women getting dates. Even more surprising considering the study that actually rated the online men as on average more attractive than the average female online. Which means OLD is basically women rejecting often men who are above their league and still getting dates with those REALLY above. Again don't hate the messenger, this was the results of the study. I , myself, don't believe in leagues, etc.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 85
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Posted: 5/4/2019 5:02:12 PM
^^^ Maybe you’re right. The gender ratio also varies by region and age cohort. But that doesn’t change the fact that OLD gives women more of an advantage than in real life. Not all women have men beating down their door waiting to date them. Most of the messages I received and attention I got in real life have been from women who are extremely overweight or otherwise below average in attraction. That’s probably because these women need to be more proactive to find dates. Talk to almost any guy and he’ll say OLD is much harder than interacting with women in the real world. It encourages woman to judge by more specific standards - such as height and income. Also, in real life men when are rejected they won’t be ignored or sent a nasty message; women would usually say “no thank you,” or given an excuse for why she can’t meet him for a date. People behave differently online. It’s a very cold, callous environment that can destroy any guy’s self-esteem.
 Mercedes_Me
Joined: 5/3/2018
Msg: 86
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Posted: 5/5/2019 4:02:51 AM
I take no notice of profiles as people can be anything they want to be behind a screen.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 87
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Posted: 5/5/2019 6:04:51 AM

It’s a very cold, callous environment that can destroy any guy’s self-esteem.

No one can destroy your self esteem EXCEPT yourself.
Most of the messages I received and attention I got in real life have been from women who are extremely overweight or otherwise below average in attraction. That’s probably because these women need to be more proactive to find dates.
True but it is also statistics. Im USA about 70% of the population is overweight so by % it makes sense. But with OLD almost all women can get messages depending on location.


Talk to almost any guy and he’ll say OLD is much harder than interacting with women in the real world.

Not harder just it is more likely you will be left hanging in doubt because of lack of body language. Flaking also is increased as a result of OLD. Back in the day I met a gal and set a weekend date, I was pretty much guaranteed she wouldn't be distracted meeting other men in the meantime. Today they literally get messages while sitting on the toilet playing with their phones.


Also, in real life men when are rejected they won’t be ignored or sent a nasty message

I had met nasty women IRL who walk away or say something unkind but this is NYC! Rudeness is a badge of honor apparently.
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Posted: 5/5/2019 3:23:19 PM

.At your age, we've already lived your experiences


Really? Please tell me all about your "experiences" you believe parallel mine. I'm all ears.


and realized they are often empty and without gratification.


Which many relationships end up becoming, as well, resulting in their demise.


I certainly noticed that your headline does not express that.


But certainly didn't notice there's an ABOUT ME section, eh?


I take no notice of profiles as people can be anything they want to be behind a screen.


Whoa, nice hair.
 Va-Va-Voom
Joined: 5/29/2007
Msg: 89
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Posted: 5/5/2019 6:56:40 PM
NO disrespect to women in general but frankly there is no pleasing women whatever you do.
Frankly if thats you then just stay true to your personality the only person that suffers if you try to be someone you are not is YOU.
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 90
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Posted: 5/6/2019 6:00:56 PM
^^^^It is very discouraging to read so many negative opinions about women on these forums. There are quite a few bitter men here!
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 91
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Posted: 5/6/2019 9:15:17 PM
^^^ I’m not bitter at women in real life, but it is rather discouraging to see women here saying that they’re time is worth more than a man’s, that they’re too good for coffee dates, and women demanding long, detailed first messages when they write much in their profile themselves.
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Posted: 5/6/2019 11:29:57 PM


NO disrespect to women in general but frankly there is no pleasing women whatever you do.


When I was a wee piglet, I was given this advice - "even when they're given everything they want, women will eventually find something to be unhappy about" and "one of these days, a woman is going to fall in love with you for who you are, then spend the rest of her life trying to change you."

Sounds like the words of a male chauvinist pig, doesn't it??

They came from my grandmother.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 93
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Posted: 5/7/2019 6:25:40 AM

It is very discouraging to read so many negative opinions about women on these forums. There are quite a few bitter men here!

Correct, there are! Stating the perception that men in general have about women in a dating context should be an actual eye opener because the fact/experiences are so prevalent, and when it comes to dating is actually based on common experience and NOT prejudice should motivate change. As a women if you don't fit these perceptions you should be proud but perhaps do more to rein in your gender! Men often will keep other men in line when it comes to other men going out of line. For example men will beat up guys who send ladies "dick" pics if they found out.

The biggest frustration you will find here is the unequal" equality" thingy which qualifies as being bitter because of a feeling of unjust. A great number of women are hypocrites in the dating arena. This never affected me since I don't believe in feminism or that we are equal ONE bit. But to those that do, or want to believe so they see the hypocrisy pretty quickly. But unlike women who often feel scorned and give up they keep on ticking. Guess the old adage, women can't live with them and can't live without them" is alive and well lol.
But yes there are a lot of bitter men, and women, your word usage was correct but in the very definition of "bitter" it states they are hurt, angry based on THEIR experience. Therefore, it is TRUE and again, I repeat it would be more successful as a women to help control those in your own gender since women are social , just as we try control the bad apples in ours.

I like you and all, YOU HAVE CATS, after all.As a point why not go say something in this thread in over 45...

"No time for coffee dates, at my age"

Women are not making your gender look good there but where are you? You will notice I come to the rescue to both men and women when someone says something that is rubbish and I certainly get involved if someone makes my gender look wrong.


P.S.: What is amusing is that women often have negative opinions about other women which is why they rather male friends sometimes. An eye opener indeed!
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 94
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Posted: 5/7/2019 6:30:02 AM

When I was a wee piglet, I was given this advice - "even when they're given everything they want, women will eventually find something to be unhappy about" and "one of these days, a woman is going to fall in love with you for who you are, then spend the rest of her life trying to change you."


I think this is true.
But I think it works both ways. Everyone finds something to be unhappy about...maybe not unhappy but having the realization that everything is not perfect and could be better. Both genders step out on the other. People fall in love with others and then grow up and change, and not everyone changes the same or stays in tune.

I don't have these problems in real life. I haven't noticed the need to "change" anyone.
I just wish they would remain who they were when I met them.

This place could be depressing. No one seems to like anyone in particular and dislikes the opposite sex in general.
Things were simpler when I was a wee boo...hahahahaha!
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 95
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Posted: 5/7/2019 6:44:21 AM
^^^Nice pic!
Perhaps felines instead of dino's next time though?
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 96
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Posted: 5/7/2019 6:50:06 AM
^^^Thank you!
I can do that...or space ships.
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Posted: 5/7/2019 2:41:30 PM


Things were simpler when I was a wee boo...hahahahaha!


Indeed they were. They were simpler for all us in the "wee" stages, back when contentment was easier obtained. Being thrown a new Stars Wars action figure was the height of ecstacy for me. Now, it takes a cruise ship, four nymphomaniac women, handcuffs, cattle prod, a cat-o-nine tails, etc. I'm kidding. Sort of.

p.s. nice new picture, Boo. Look at that hair all bouncin' and behavin'.
 blackbeauty744
Joined: 12/1/2015
Msg: 98
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Posted: 5/7/2019 4:28:43 PM
^ HELLO STRANGER!
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Posted: 5/7/2019 9:59:07 PM
^ Hello, Strangest. :)~

Yes, I'm back. Good to see you come out of hiding. ;)
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 100
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Posted: 5/7/2019 11:18:55 PM
AdventureJoe,

You're involved in animal rescue? Respect.
I did fostering when I was travel nursing.

I do sometimes miss the pre-internet days, when I was not privy to so many of the women-despising thoughts of so many men.
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