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 Seamist474
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 26
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Honest questionPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Msg. #16

Bravo.

It seems someone was taking their frustration out on you and it wasn't necessary.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 27
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getting fingered on a dry summer day
Posted: 4/1/2019 1:58:46 PM

A lot of people do marry someone due to beauty though because attraction trumps reason.

My point was that's understandable -- in terms of dating someone, and even becoming BF/GF. But Staying? It turning into an LTR or even marriage? I don't believe most people do this on looks when it's a one-sided thing about 1 person being a clear a-hole, and the other person not being one but cherishing them regardless because they're really great looking. I think it gets people into bad dating situations and (short-lived) relationships, instead. But yes, there are exceptions of course, and it does happen a bit too often (*my 2 common scenarios as to why in prev post).

Also, from what I've observed, when a guy marries a girl with a shit personality, he has a mother with a very similar personality.

I can see that playing a role, yeah.

I got with a decently good-looking guy with a shit personality and it was because I had a lack of belief that I could find anyone decent.

I believe you wrote how you weren't attracted to him after day 1, but you still went with it (the guy you had kids with). Mainly because you wanted to be wanted & to be with someone. Even if his raw looks resembled something that you felt would be really tough to get as added weight to your desire to keep dating & feel wanted & form a relationship -- that's a different concept than the example I was referring to.

The concept I was referring to was a not-so-good-looking guy getting a Hot girl -- who's a b!tch and has all the signs of it not working out in the long run. Yes, I can see the Hotness (not just "she's a cute get!") definitely making the not-so-good-looking guy go out more dates, and even become a couple despite her obvious persona. But to be in a Really long LTR? Get Married? This happens sometimes, unfortunately -- and I'm just saying the desire to get hitched by itself is the key behind the blindness when coupled with the other being Hot; OR underneath it all, whether he may or may not truly know about, he is emotionally Chasing Her still -- and to ante-up the relationship (moving in, ring shopping, etc) gives him a sense of accomplishment in this underlying mission in his mind. Or a combination in some ways of both of those things.

Part of me wanting to date now is that I don't want to date when my daughters are teenagers.

That's weird. And, if you do date a guy now or in the not too distant future, he could become an LTR that spills into those years.

I had crushes on some of her boyfriends and I acted very weird around them. I definitely don't want to date with teenage daughters but I have 3 daughters and by the time all 3 are out of their teenage years I will be 51 which is 15 years from now.

Why wouldn't they be attracted at 20? :) Waiting for the guys to be so old they wouldn't be attracted to them? LOL.

This is Exhibit A on why one shouldn't "follow their gut" as some blind advice. :)

First, they can be attracted to a guy at age 10. Doesn't at all require teenage years. I had a crush on my preschool teacher and felt her up (in a pre-school way). I got my technical first kiss from this gal on the playground who loved kissing boys; in the 1st grade. I had a HUGE crush on Linda Carter (Wonder Woman re-runs) when in grade-school. And it wasn't about dreams of "playing house" and having tea parties with her, either.

Point is, kids will act funny in different ways with a BF you have. And yeah, they can find them cute. So can your female friends, too. Or Sally, the neighbor gal who thinks he's Soo Ko0l - lol.

Relax. So what if the neighbor girl, 1 of your daughters, and one of your female friends finds him really cute? That should be the least of your worries. :)
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 28
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getting fingered for an alleged fingering you didn't finger on having to deal with
Posted: 4/2/2019 11:00:46 AM

WHOA! Someone is off their medication today.

I agree that there is no reason to be so harsh but I suggest that you lose credibility and open yourself to ridicule and criticism when your posts in one thread completely contradict what you have posted in others. Just sayin.....you're a smart guy. You know this.
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 29
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getting fingered for an alleged fingering you didn't finger on having to deal with
Posted: 4/3/2019 9:53:36 AM
"Not what is meant by the term "population" when in reference to the Social Services field. Smh"

>>>reading the post in entirety, would have answered the question and made its underlying intention moot. he can meet "crazy" in any part of town.

"when a guy marries a girl with a shit personality, he has a mother with a very similar personality."

>>>and where did the lady get her personality? some of it began by copying what she saw at home, and like a knife got honed by experience in the real world. probably driven by who she choose to hang out with at an early age.

" I had a lack of belief that I could find anyone decent. For women, it usually is due to self-esteem issues."

>>>which they are not born with. those issues have to be formed by surroundings, or nuture.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 30
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Confidence?
Posted: 4/3/2019 10:41:18 AM

" I had a lack of belief that I could find anyone decent. For women, it usually is due to self-esteem issues."

>>>which they are not born with. those issues have to be formed by surroundings, or nuture.

I would say that the same applies to men. Positive and negative influences have an effect on all.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 31
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getting fingered for an alleged fingering you didn't finger on having to deal with
Posted: 4/3/2019 11:01:08 AM

attraction trumps reason.


There's a recipe for success if I ever saw one.
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