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 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 26
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She used a gift card to pay for her mealPage 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

I’m a woman and I’m honest Joe, always....don’t appreciate your bullshit put down, that’s how I’ve interpreted what you said. Am I right or wrong on that.

First off your wrong in this reference. I even quoted Cinnamon gal .My compliment about what "she said(BROWN)" is in no way an insult to every other women who feels similar or hasn't spoken or doesn't feel the same. She certainly was directly honest that it isn't right for a women to say such on a date and it is a view that showed empathy with how men feel. I appreciated it, if you say something that I equally find to be valid, true or whatever for the viewpoint of males I will appropriately commend. But your "honest opinion" on this matter isn't showing much empathy to the male view IMHO. Therefore, my compliment to her was more "outspoken" because she has a view that is similar to how men mostly FEEL(as I side note I don't even remember reading your comment). It wasn't implying that you purposely are lying or trying to deceive, or anything like that. Honest also has a wiki meaning as truthful. That was my meaning.

Lets rehash:

It is like: "gee golly whiz, Joe put me down ,maybe ..I am not sure,so I am going to put him down by saying he said something bull shit". We are not 5 yrs old and this isn't tit for tat! Or am I reading things wrong? (Being the devil , it is all about details with me;P)

Now of course after reading your comment, I am sure it was/is honest , YOU believe it(my grandma believed in ghosts did you know that?), but I don't think it is based on reality of how men view it and his chances of it becoming romantic, if she truly is putting him in that friend-zone(which I don't know since I wasn't there).
If a guy meets for a romantic interest and there is none mutually... move on. He doesn't need what the gal is offering and just because a good relationship should include friendship(as well as other things) .. the friendship part doesn't light the spark generally that motivates intimacy. Although the friendship formed when in love can last a lifetime. Of course in some generations people did take it slowly and it might have felt more like friendship in the beginning but based on the age of the poster this isn't that generation so unlikely. The situation above sounds like it is more like "she is still looking for other men". Could be wrong though and the poster didn't get clarity(we agree there).
She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 3:07:16 PM


I've only ever used the term 'friend' when I was either not interested in starting a romantic relationship with a man or when I wanted to end a relationship that I did not want to go any further.


Bingo.

Most women know it, and most men know it. I can't tell you how many times I've heard women complain about a man who eventually made a bold move after she dropped the "friend/friendship" word. ("I can't believe he did that! I told him I wanted to be friends!!")

Bottom line - know where you stand by the end of the first date/meet/whateverthehellyouwanttocallit. This isn't about whether she wanted a relationship or friendship right there on the spot, it's about whether there was even a semblance of spark at all.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 28
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 3:12:43 PM
^^^Absolutely. Ifhe did have any chance though it had to be by actions, body language during that 1st date. He didn't flirt or escalate , or anything so it REALLY is the friend zone. Now if he did those things and the girl was shy and he was going too fast for her then it might have different meaning if she TRULY wanted to continue seeing him..regardless of her vernacular used. I mean if I am slipping my hands down a girls skirt and kissing her on the lips and she is going along with it but says the "friendship thingy"..yeah I would say the door is open lol.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 3/1/2019
Msg: 29
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 3:41:53 PM
So you’ve said something, I’ve misinterpreted it....glad I asked for clarity :)

Pig...A man telling me what women know/think
I just can’t begin......:)

Besides we all know OP is gonna come in and prove me bloody wrong, she just wanted friendship, after all he just said in another thread he dates divas and princesses lol
I hope he’s straight out asked her what she means

She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 4:09:30 PM

Pig...A man telling me what women know/think
I just can’t begin......:)


So, you're saying "friend/friendship" *isn't* a word typically thrown by women as a "nice" way of saying "I'm not interested"? Come on.

Also, we're having to assume "pursue a friendship" were her exact words to him. "Pursue a friendship" when her profile likely claims she's ultimately looking for a relationship?

Yeah. It doesn't look good.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 31
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 4:09:47 PM

First you said she used a gift card then you said she got a discount and then you inferred she had a coupon. Which is it? Those are three separate things.

First, a gift-card is a discount on your bill if it doesn't cover the whole thing. Second, a gift card and a (hefty) coupon, are the same thing, from a practical standpoint.

I would let it go, except she says this in her profile.

What she said in her profile is not explicitly playing the "Friends First" Game -- but it alludes to it. But that isn't enough. The FFG (friends-first game) itself is supposed to be vague, tho -- it gives one a comfort-zone advantage.

When the bill comes she immediately tells the waitress we’re going to split it. Then she takes out a $20.00 gift card that she said her friend gave her. I’m sure she chose that place because she wanted to get a discount. What should I think of this?

Gift card aside, I had a gal on a 1st date/meet to want to split it before. But she informed me beforehand she wanted to do that because she didn't want it to be a true Date, but more of a 1st meet, so there's no strings/obligations. I was fine with that. We ended up going out on real Dates (and porking). Intro dates can be more like "lunch dates", when you haven't met them in person yet.

That said, she didn't pre-inform you. And she said she would go out with you again, but in terms of pursuing a friendship with you. BAD. Basically, when a team's down by 15 pts in a basketball game at the half who's at least equal to them -- those are your chances she'll Truly like you in-that-way.

The friendship part is ambiguous because it could mean the friend zone or it could mean friends within a relationship.

No, she did not imply being friends in the sense of "boyFriend" or "girlFriend". Not at all. She was referring to just-friends. Friend-Zoned. In her mind, she could think that doesn't mean friend-zoned forever, but, sorry to break it to ya man. She was willing to step forward to split the bill, and to step forward right there on that 1st meet that she would like to pursue a Friendship with you -- she did have the gumption to show that she was attracted to you in-that-way, even on a mild scale. Instead, her words were in the Opposite direction.

If it was a platonic friendship why would she want to keep dating me?

They're NOT DATES! That's why! :) She wanted to make that even More clear by stepping forward to split the bill + tell you she'd like to be FRIENDS with you.

one of them offered to buy her a drink and then wanted his money back when she didn’t want to see him anymore.

Which is silly by the guy -- but probably he found out she just wanted to be friends from the get-go and he wasted his time (still stupid by the guy). Thus, she wanted to split the bill from now on with dudes where she isn't that into them. You included. :)

It’s seems she might consider me future relationship material.

You were friend-zoned. A passing consideration some day? Ehh, maybe, I guess but who the hell cares. What worth of merely that, is it to you? At this point, she's not Attracted to you in-that-way. Yes, theoretically it is possible to be friend-zoned and then to be truly Like-Liked by said gal. It's also possible for a 15 seed to beat a 2 seed in the NCAA tournament. Bets anyone? :)

She's making it Slightly vague because she still wants guy-attention. Bring it up to her. Text her and say you had a great time, it was great meeting her, she seemed cool... then follow that with you wanted to clarify something. Were you wanting to be just friends? Cool if that's all that you're looking for, you seem like a really cool person, but just wanted clarification. That can give them a sigh of relief and not play the FFG on ya -- and let them spill their beans. Of course, many guys in your situation are going to be too chicken to do it. :)

Nothing wrong with wanting to start out as friends, and see what develops.

First, you're not datING when you meet someone from online. You can still go out on dates with others. It's not until you're going steady by agreement (or free-time lives meshing where it's painstakingly obvious), that you can't. And you can start things off "slow", sure. But that's not just-friends. It's a waste of time to start things off as just-friends. Just friends means they could get a # & flirt with someone right next to you. I "let" my friends do that.

I’m trying to think of a scenario where I’d meet a man for the very first time and hear the word friendship and think ‘fvck this shit!’ I’m no one’s mug! I’m outta hear!’.....so negative

It's not hearing the word 'friendship'. IMO, one should have a "f this sh!t" thought, as far as pursuing them in-that-way, when they drop the friend-zone bomb on ya. If the OP's story was that she stepped forward to split the bill + told him she wanted to pursue being friends with him -- and he was cool with that, she seemed cool, and lots of female friends... there wouldn't be a story to it. His concern is pursuing More than just-friends (which is what she wants) -- thinking that she does in fact have Actual Attraction toward him in-that-way. I say "f that sh!t" to that notion, but I do say (several lines up) he should get clarification ASAP from her, just to make sure she didn't misspeak or he didn't mishear. If anything, for his own peace of mind -- even though almost all guys in position Wince at it, because they know underneath she Highly Likely just wants to be friends-only.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 3/1/2019
Msg: 32
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 4:23:54 PM
To be fair Pig, most women I know don’t pvssyfoot around telling guys they ‘just want to be friends’ if they don’t wanna date them, they just don’t date them/see them again and tell them why if asked.
I’ve known women use this tactic (not necessarily the word) when they do want to get to know a man better.
We know different women I guess.
She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 4:38:59 PM

I’ve known women use this tactic (not necessarily the word) when they do want to get to know a man better.
We know different women I guess.


Even "I'd like to get to know you better" is infinitely better than "I want to pursue a friendship".

I guarantee you most women would ask themselves "what the f*ck does THAT mean?!?!" if a man ever said "I'd like to pursue a friendship" after a first date.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 34
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 4:49:02 PM

I guarantee you most women would ask themselves "what the f*ck does THAT mean?!?!" if a man ever said "I'd like to pursue a friendship" after a first date.

Especially if he motioned to split the bill with her, utilizing a gift card too. :)
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 35
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 9:02:22 PM
Yes....the OP has been politely 'ditched'. The gift card doesn't matter but the fact that she jumped forward to pay her half and also said the 'friend' word was a classy way to reject him.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 36
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 9:40:27 PM
Well, I disagree that a woman paying half of the bill always means she isn’t into a guy. It says on my profile that I value equality, so if she messaged me first it might have meant she also thinks that way.

I think she might have some unresolved issues with men if she thinks that majority of men she dated were immature and narcissistic- since not every guy is a douche bag. I sent her a message and she hasn’t responded, so I’m leaving the ball in her court and moving on.

I’m done being used as an emotional tampon. My ex wife had a lot of unresolved emotional issues, and I supported her. Then she started spending more and more time with another man and told me that she only thought of me as a friend. It’s not fair to the guy to get into a relationship with him just because you want emotional support.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 37
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 10:21:44 PM

Well, I disagree that a woman paying half of the bill always means she isn’t into a guy.

True. But it's a popular marker. The burden of evidence to the contrary would be on the guy who wishes that wasn't the case. Like I said, I had a situation where that initial meet-date/lunch-date was pre-laid out that she wanted to split the bill. Why did she come out to say that before even meeting? Because folks can get the wrong idea and she wanted to say it didn't mean anything either way. I had another gal surprisingly but she explained when the check was coming... that she believes in splitting the bill on new dates with guys and isn't into the whole guy pays all and wants to establish that -- and ensuring me that it's not like she didn't like me. Okay, cool. This girl didn't do that; she was in a different boat that does fit into the she-likes-you-as-a-friend.

It says on my profile that I value equality, so if she messaged me first it might have meant she also thinks that way.

You have a point that in your profile that a guy should have to always ask a girl out, and that a guy should have to pay the majority of the time. That probably motivated her to utilize that gift card she had lying around at a nice restaurant, and to put it to use. Especially if she was "ehhh" about you on the dating front possibilities, but seemed like you could be good on the friend level at least.

I think she might have some unresolved issues with men if she thinks that majority of men she dated were immature and narcissistic- since not every guy is a douche bag.

True, and those unresolved issues end up making more of the situations she described, like with that one guy. It is a a bit of red flag as it doesn't make her look good, bringing that up about that one guy wanting his money back. But I think she brought it up, feeling ensured that she can't be blamed for anything if she doesn't have a guy pay when she doesn't like him in-that-way (hint hint).

Many who do have unresolved issues with dating are going to feel less guilty about going out -- err, hanging out -- with a guy they're really not into. Especially if they feel they said / did stuff where he "should" get the hint.

I sent her a message and she hasn’t responded, so I’m leaving the ball in her court and moving on.

Yeah, I would have asked her in an open-door way what she wanted/meant exactly, if I was scratching my head about it enough to post online about it. But, since you already did send her something -- yeah, best to just "punt" your mindset/expectations.

But if/when she does hit you back up, seeing if you're up for hanging out again -- sure, agree to it. But during that outing, I would bring it up for clarification -- but again, in a way where you're emotionally inviting & open to the concept of just-friends (helping to prevent her from playing the cloudy Friend First game).
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 38
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/2/2019 2:40:42 AM

She said she would like to go out with me again, and says she would like to pursue a friendship with me.


You could have a cute response like, what are my benefits in this friendship?

It is an odd statement, I am friends with most of my lovers. It's not like I don't like them. If I wouldn't consider them as people I want to spend time with. IE: friends, I surely don't want to have sex on a regular basis with them.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 39
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/2/2019 3:09:34 AM

Nothing wrong with wanting to start out as friends, and see what develops. As for the coupon, so, she's thrifty- and self-reliant- she didn't expect you to pay. I say go for a second date.


Well, what happens if I meet some hot woman who is really interested in me romantically? How is anything going to develop from starting out as friends?
She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/2/2019 3:32:58 AM


Well, what happens if I meet some hot woman who is really interested in me romantically? How is anything going to develop from starting out as friends?


I think it helps to know exactly what the hell they mean by this. If it's a way of saying they want to get to know each other before putting the "relationship" stamp on it, then yes, that's perfectly fine. That's the way it should be.

But if it means enduring their obstacle course of bullshit and manipulation while expecting you to pay for dates, they can f*ck off.

Work on being more assertive, too. I think that's your biggest problem. Once you get into the habit of being that way, you will value yourself so much more.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 41
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/2/2019 7:27:48 AM

Well, what happens if I meet some hot woman who is really interested in me romantically? How is anything going to develop from starting out as friends?

It won't. Minute said women sees you like "her brother" and you become a male version of her female friends then it is curtains for you. You have allowed yourself into that friend-zone. You been manipulated partly by what she has said, and by your own wishful thinking. Usually it is partly self inflicted since only YOU can choose who you are friends with.

If she is truly shy, or old fashioned , she would probably say something along the lines of taking it slow, or something to that effect, and then the door CAN be open.

But at the end of the day, ONLY you can determine how much of a wait you will accept. All I know is when a women goes much slower than you expect , you should continue meeting , and dating other women. Don't commit yourself more than she commits herself. That is how you get played!

P.S.: even if she is sh,y you will know by body language if she is into you. Even prudish and shy women who try to hide it, reveal it.


You could have a cute response like, what are my benefits in this friendship?

That's similar to my attempt to make them qualify themselves as friend worthy. It is a trick question because anything less than Friends with Bennies makes them unqualified since most of us are not actively looking to invite new friends to our franks , especially if she can't offer anything more than our present friends offer. Sadly most just say "lets be friends" as a cowardly way of rejection where the man wins a useless prize to his ego, and the women wins either by not having to be direct, or by actually finding another "friend" to waste time listening to her daily drama.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 42
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/2/2019 7:51:32 AM
I agree with piggy and Joe.

You are likely not assertive enough. I am thinking of how you described your relationship with your wife as becoming one she considered you just a friend.

I tend to not be very assertive, but also tend to turn most conversations with dates in a sexual manner. There is no point in dating someone that wants to remain non-sexual.

I tend to not have a lot of friends and those I do have are pretty independent and scattered across the country. I can only think of one woman that was a friend, but not really a close friend, sure we slept together in the same motel room, but that was to save money. And even then I considered making a move on her even though I wasn't really attracted to her and I don't think she was hot for me either. To boot, I don;t think she is very attractive at all.

As we were traveling together we got to know each other, but once she hooked up with a guy during this trip, I became a third wheel and didn't really want to arrange my desires to accommodate her new boyfriend's schedule. So soon after that, I split from this threesome to venture off on my own. I do appreciate she made an effort to include me in her new plans with her boyfriend, but it changed the dynamic too much for me.

Point being, even when you are friends with a woman, eventually you or her will find a romantic interest that will take precedent over your friendship.

Maybe it will work differently if you are both over 80 years old? Or maybe it's 90 years old?
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 43
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/2/2019 8:28:35 AM


Well, what happens if I meet some hot woman who is really interested in me romantically? How is anything going to develop from starting out as friends?


It is obvious that any relationship from the get go is building a special kind of friendship that entails many different characteristics. Lust, love, admiration, respect and so on but your not grasping it. It goes without saying.

On the other hand just being a friend is pointless unless you like to listen to said woman moan about the guy she really is banging lol
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 44
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/2/2019 9:19:29 AM

Sadly most just say "lets be friends" as a cowardly way of rejection where the man wins a useless prize to his ego, and the women wins either by not having to be direct, or by actually finding another "friend" to waste time listening to her daily drama.


How often do these kind of so-called friendships even last? In my experiences, they fade out quickly...
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 45
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/2/2019 9:40:53 AM
Seriously? What's the issue with a gift card? She had it so no doubt would want to use it. And it was only a first date so whatever. When it comes to dating, I am clueless about what to do when it comes to going out for supper. I am a coupon user but I am worried about coming across as a cheapskate. I have only gone out to supper with 4 men for dates.

Guy#1 - We went out for supper lots at his insistance and he always paid. He made a lot more than me and there was never an issue. But that was 2008 so times were different.

Guy #2 - We went out a couple times and he paid. Again, he made more money than me and there were no issues. That was in 2009 and still the old era.

Guy #3 - First and last date. I had just wanted a quick meet-and-greet at a Timmy's but he insisted on supper at a nice restaurant. I instantly began worrying in my head about the cost but when I tried to talk him into a place cheaper he told me not to worry about it and said he would pay for it. Inwardly I felt bad because I knew I didn't really like him and slept with him later because of the nice meal and guilt that he'd paid so much for supper.

Guy #4 - We met at a gas station diner (my pick) and I insisted on paying for my own. But I think it bugged him and upon reflection, I think he was just an old-fashioned guy and it put him off.

Guy #4 - Wanted me to pick where to go. I told him he could choose. He wouldn't so I made a couple suggestions but then he suggested more expensive places. We went to one of his suggestions and after we were almost done he asked me if we were splitting the bill. I said yes and we did that but I was dismayed about the price. We went out to supper another time, same thing happened. I admit when I told him I didn't want to see him anymore the next day, the money thing was a factor. I couldn't afford to date him even if he had potential.

I worry quite a bit about going out on dates because my budget isn't great for going out. Back when it was just expected that the guy paid for the date I never thought of it and could just enjoy the date. Now, half the time I am worrying about the bill. One of the biggest reasons I haven't gone on any other dates off plenty of fish is because I worry precisely about the money thing when it comes to going out. I don't want to be seen as a woman who uses a guy for his money so she can go out. I can understand the OP wondering/worrying about the gift card thing at supper but he should let it go. Maybe she was in the same situation. Women often do make a lot less than men and I don't know if that's her situation, but it does make thinks trickier when it comes to dating in this day and age. I really try to come up with cheaper alternatives for dates a
and things to do. One guy I went on a long hike up a big hill in the valley and another guy I made a picnic lunch at a park. I am curious what other forumnites feel when it comes to supper dates and the money thing or is money just not an issue for you?
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 46
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/2/2019 10:47:16 AM
Curious that #3 got what many/most men are ultimately here for whether it comes with a relationship or not. You have to come to realize that you are worth far more than a paid escort and not in monetary terms.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/2/2019 11:17:06 AM

On the other hand just being a friend is pointless unless you like to listen to said woman moan about the guy she really is banging lol

Well I think this might be due to one of the main differences between how men are with their friends ..aka Brotherhood and how women are with their friends..aka Sisterhood.
Men tend to have relationships where they do activities in which dialogue is included but NOT the main part of it. You whine to much to another male and he will tell you to man up!
Women tend more often to have relationships where they are chatty and the things they do together are secondary (shopping, go to movies,etc). The problem is the friend zoned male becomes like a women friend but with the activity sometimes, if they are lucky. Of course the activities tend to revolve around things men tend not to do with each other . Therefore, that is why I claim the men RARELY get anything out of these friendships. The women on the other hand gets an ear, a male orbiter, just coming from a more hairy body than usual ;P

Of course, when she gets into a relationship with a new BF, no self respecting man is going to approve of a women having a friend zoned male as an ear(orbiter), so she will have to put their relationship on hold, until she has a problem with new BF. Now the orbiter male hopes he has a shot!

Oh, and since she knows he had interest in her and is the D#$% in the jar.....she will most likely never set the friend zoned friend up with her hot female friends. The sun doesn't like losing the planets orbiting them! Most set ups I ever had were from men or their GF's/wife.

I guess my question is why do these males get into friendships that give them absolutely very little? Not to sound cold and harsh, but most friendships are based on people who get something from one another(I am not talking about the lifelong ones we grow up with who are like family). I have trouble trusting male orbiters because since they get into relationships that give them absolutely nothing they tend to go out of their way any time the female who friend zoned them wants something. More so then they do for their old time BROS! The Bros become secondary often.


On the other hand just being a friend is pointless unless you like to listen to said woman moan about the guy she really is banging lol


Yep, and something else happens too. Often the friend zoned male even loses his attraction for her after seeing who she really is like, but still stays because it is too late since he invested too much in his friend zone hell!

I have to admit I have been the friend zoned male back when I was in school so I speak from experience. But at least I was able to use them to type my papers up when I broke up with my GF, so it wasn't completely worthless :P
But once I truly stopped being turned into friends, a choice we all can make, my dating life got 100x better. In addition to actually having free time to invest in myself and what I am looking for, the girls stopped friend zoning me. Either they had nothing to do with me or they wanted me in their life enough that they were considerate to what I may want as well ,and let me out of the jar..so to speak. It was/is a win/win.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 48
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/2/2019 1:07:32 PM

Well, what happens if I meet some hot woman who is really interested in me romantically? How is anything going to develop from starting out as friends?

If she's really interested in you romantically -- or even mildly interested in-that-way -- she's not going to be like that girl was. So no, she's not going to want to start out actually "as friends". If she's interested in-that-way, the only "friend" type of thing she'll want is FWB to kick it off with.

You are likely not assertive enough.

I think she, the quiet/shy type as he puts it, was more "assertive" than he. She stepped forward (as the gal) to split the bill, and went out of her way to proclaim that she'd like to see him again, *as a friend*. This shy/quiet gal had more gumption. He needs to have Less Fear -- and not be so chicken. I think OP believes, and wants to believe due to his inner emotions & his past experiences, that being direct is not cool. Mainly due to fearing to hear things you don't want to hear.

There is no point in dating someone that wants to remain non-sexual.

I think OP agrees -- but his question is -- is it going to remain non-sexual in emotions & action, on her part? The answer of course, is most likely YES. Oh, you're saying I have a chance! Yeah. Like playing Black Jack, and you're given a King and a 9 (19) -- and you tell the dealer "hit me". You do have a chance to not bust, true. But if you're too scared to be direct about it, your concerns being answered aren't going to be as swift as playing that round of black jack.

Seriously? What's the issue with a gift card? She had it so no doubt would want to use it. And it was only a first date so whatever.

Actually, IF it was a Date (which it ended up Not being an actual Date) -- a guy should not be whipping out Gift Cards/Coupons on the 1st date + splitting the bill. Not good for his chances at all. The gal stepping forward to do all that is a definite sign of no interest.

And IMO, she lacked interest in that direction from the get-go. She wanted to go to the place to utilize her gift card, and maybe make a friend while she was at it.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 49
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/2/2019 1:14:35 PM

Inwardly I felt bad because I knew I didn't really like him and slept with him later because of the nice meal and guilt that he'd paid so much for supper.


Alternatively, is it possible that you are subconsciously using your guilt to excuse what you subconsciously feel is promiscuity and because you just really want to have sex?
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 50
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/2/2019 1:36:08 PM
I wonder what you get for a Maccy d's
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