Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > She used a gift card to pay for her meal      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 126
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel. Page 6 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

here was a lot about pleasing your husband and his expectations.
That's a whole 'nother WTF thread.

Isn't it great? Got news for you..it is still like that today with the right women. I personally tend to date Europeans that have that view(married over 15 yrs to one) and my present GF(Brazilian) has that attitude.

plus, personally, I think she was feeling frisky at the time


Absolutely. I can't take seriously a gal or guy who plays those "I didn't want to games". Yeah the devil on your right shoulder made you do it. What utter BS. It probably was a combination of factors. It just takes something more added to help push over the ledge.

Attraction in what way? If a woman likes your pics and agrees to meet you in person, doesn’t that mean she can see herself possibly fvcking you?

Always a possibility but women wanting usually something more than just a "frack" can just find there is no chemistry there. That being said, Caucasian guys often don't look like their pictures since they have more prominent features than lets say an Asian guy. Women can fall in love with your portrait photo but in reality you will look different than she thought due to real life which means different angles, expressions, and just a plain vibe. It isn't something just decided IRL by photo's. Even IRL models can look WAY different. I have dated some(I loved back in the day walking by when they go on smoke breaks and shooting the breeze) and constantly see them NOT looking like their photo's. It can be night and day.


What happened to those women?

Which ones?
Ghosted ones..ghosted. Sometimes not returning a call. Ones I slept with, who were quiet , sometimes a 1 nighter, and sometimes dating them. They often open up later on, and in my experience women become more chatty after sex(when they think they own you!)


I was thinking more along the lines of you need to make the woman feel comfortable. Maybe some men also need to feel comfortable. What do you think performance anxiety is about?


I have had performance anxiety but it was never anything due to the women. In fact it might not have been anxiety and just boredom tbh.


I have an older sister who kind of lead me growing up - no brothers. Maybe that’s why I don’t mind if a woman takes the lead and I value equality in a relationship more than most people.



OK..that explains it..you were ruined by women! LOL jking but it shows.

Unfortunately my experience with males that have been raised by strong women are the men have difficulty being assertive. I mean I can only thank the gods my father raised me and I have an older brother. My mom would tell me things like "I am great","just be myself" ,"I am great as I am" ,"don't have sex unless someone is special" and a lot of other drivel that is useless in real life modern dating. I lucked out that my father was VERY experienced with women. He ran night clubs and worked in advertisement at one time and even judged beauty contests .
I mean, even today, he gets into the Copacabana for free because he is friends with the owner. Therefore, I had to learn to be assertive because my father won't say politically correct things like my mom did. He has no problem telling me I need improvement.

Heck when he was in Florida with his partner for a few months while I was in college , he encouraged me to use his midtown Manhattan studio to bring back women lol.
Encouragement like that helps.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 127
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/8/2019 11:53:34 AM
I think it was because he was a nice guy and I really wanted to like a nice guy. My history played into it too. I basically had sex with a guy for 9 years who I didn't like and wasn't attracted who wasn't a nice guy. My thinking at the time was "He's so kind. He bought me a really nice meal and he's been so much nicer to me than other guys." I was really grateful for the niceness even if at the same time I really didn't want to kiss him or touch him. And I knew I was never going to see him again and I figured this was a safe time to have sex with someone new for the first time in over 10 years. Good practice I guess. And I was curious.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 128
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/8/2019 12:07:34 PM

Attraction in what way? If a woman likes your pics and agrees to meet you in person, doesn’t that mean she can see herself possibly fvcking you?

No. For many women, it takes a Wow. Just because she likes your pics enough to meet up in person, does not mean she's Wow'd about you. By default, assume the worst, hope for the best. You assume she sees herself going out on a date with you to see how she feels from there.

And, as Joe pointed out -- your pics may be Objectively accurate in the social-networking world. But their perception of it can be off. A long while ago, I surprisingly had a date with a really Tall gal. She seemed to really like me (online). In the end, she said she thought I was taller -- even though she could read my profile stats. She was looking at the pictures I had, which, I guess in her mind, visualized me being a notably Tall guy. An outlandish example, as one can just read the average-height #s -- but if that can be done, certainly subjective views on angles of their face, shoulders, build, etc.

I was thinking more along the lines of you need to make the woman feel comfortable. Maybe some men also need to feel comfortable. What do you think performance anxiety is about?

Making a woman feel comfortable is key to having sex early. It's a total Myth that it requires a guy swooning her about being in an LTR with her and lying about that. That'll scare almost all women on a 1st or 2nd date and actually Make them feel uncomfortable. It's actually quite easy to make a gal feel comfortable. It's much the same as generic personal relations for work and such -- you flow well with them. Your demeanor, body language, smiling, non-argumentative, listening, saying things that seem to positive to them, etc.

My performance anxiety would be "I haven't done this in a while". Sometimes a self-fulfilling prophecy, worried about it, causes it. Like, I drank too much + I wanked it earlier this day (or not in a long time, and I'll be a 2-pump chump). Stuff like that. Gals in general expect a guy to perform well, so you want to bring your A game if you like the gal.

I have an older sister who kind of lead me growing up - no brothers. Maybe that’s why I don’t mind if a woman takes the lead and I value equality in a relationship more than most people.

It'll make you value equality more -- good thing. But at the expense of seeing things different than how they roll in society, thus, having the wrong idea about most gals and what they like when it comes to a guy & makes them tick, etc.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 129
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/8/2019 2:11:51 PM

Isn't it great? Got news for you..it is still like that today with the right women. I personally tend to date Europeans that have that view(married over 15 yrs to one) and my present GF(Brazilian) has that attitude.


I didn't mean to imply that we should please our husbands, but I think it should work both ways.
I think back then that's what marriage was ALL about.
Hopefully, it's more mutually satisfactory regarding the whole pleasing business, ie, meeting at
the door after work with a****ail in hand, bunny tail on and dinner on the table.
I've got not problems being agreeable, but I'm pretty sure back in the 50's it was pretty much
one sided. Great news if men have evolved today to the level women in the 50's were.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 130
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/8/2019 2:14:15 PM
^^^It won't let me edit.
That should say "I didn't mean to imply that we SHOULDN'T please our husbands"


In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread, unless you have a****ail in hand and your bunny tail on.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 131
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/8/2019 5:22:54 PM

^^^It won't let me edit.
That should say "I didn't mean to imply that we SHOULDN'T please our husbands"

When you edit, most of the time you have to Delete the 'div class="quote"' and '/div' tags which are the replacements POF puts in there surrounded by < & > .... and re-make the [ quote ] , [ / quote ] tags as it's replacement. :)
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 132
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/8/2019 5:47:35 PM

Always a possibility but women wanting usually something more than just a "frack" can just find there is no chemistry there. That being said, Caucasian guys often don't look like their pictures since they have more prominent features than lets say an Asian guy. Women can fall in love with your portrait photo but in reality you will look different than she thought due to real life which means different angles, expressions, and just a plain vibe. It isn't something just decided IRL by photo's. Even IRL models can look WAY different. I have dated some(I loved back in the day walking by when they go on smoke breaks and shooting the breeze) and constantly see them NOT looking like their photo's. It can be night and day.


That’s true. In the few dates I’ve had on here I usually haven’t been attracted to the woman either, except for the last one. They usually looked quite a bit heavier in real life than the pics made them look. Some of them were very nice and down-to-earth, but I just couldn’t find them attractive. I’m also kind of a physically active person, and I think they might have had a hard time keeping up with me. What I don’t understand is how very plain looking guys who don’t even take care of their bodies find dates. I see guys with scruffy, unkempt beards and pot bellies with beautiful women all the time.

In my experience, a good cologne can be very effective in creating attraction. I might still be a virgin if I didn’t start wearing a cologne called “Black Russian.” Women started paying attention to me for the first time when I wore it. Unfortunately I can’t find it in stores in my city. I’ll probably have to order it online.

My sister is actually kind of different from a lot of other women in that she doesn’t like men who attempt to take the lead with her. Usually she stops seeing the guy because he’s “mansplaining” something to her or says some politically incorrect thing. She complains that men who feel entitled to give their opinion (usually white men) or tell women how to do something are often wrong in their assumptions.

I asked dating advice from her, and she said, “Why don’t you just ask somebody on a dating site to go for coffee?” She she was on Match.com she didn’t have any problem getting a date and would often make the first move. She doesn’t understand what men are dealing with - how many welll-written messages you have to send out just to get a response and all the rejection men face.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 133
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/8/2019 6:13:31 PM

What I don’t understand is how very plain looking guys who don’t even take care of their bodies find dates. I see guys with scruffy, unkempt beards and pot bellies with beautiful women all the time.

Scruffy beards and all, being in-style for some tastes -- ends up not being a negative. Also, social people will have very pretty female friends. You don't know they're a real item -- and no, sensing some flirting doesn't mean they're on a date or are a couple. But yes, that type of thing is out there. However, face is #1 of attraction -- and gals are less weary about body than guys are. And gals are more lenient on social-circle connections than guys are too.

In my experience, a good cologne can be very effective in creating attraction.

It is a good thing. If she has a ton of dates/mini-dates, it'll help you "break the tie" if it comes down to it. And once in a good while a gal will Really like it. As far as hard to find or expensive cologne, you can get Rue-21 Black online (from Rue-21) -- and it's not expensive. From my experience, girls really dig it, oddly enough.

My sister is actually kind of different from a lot of other women in that she doesn’t like men who attempt to take the lead with her.

Which is why her helping to sculpt you growing up about what women want & like, wasn't such a good idea. You must unlearn what you have learned. :) Which means positioning yourself to be willing to go Against your comfort-zone and not listen to it like the gospel truth.

She complains that men who feel entitled to give their opinion (usually white men) or tell women how to do something are often wrong in their assumptions.

Although she understandably is not into jerk-type guys, it sounds like she is more into guys who won't get much luck in the dating scene (unless he's naturally great looking).

She doesn’t understand what men are dealing with - how many welll-written messages you have to send out just to get a response and all the rejection men face.

Many gals don't understand how easy they have it in comparison, especially if they're willing to initiate text with a guy online, as most women won't. That said, as a guy, you don't have to spend your time on well-written messages. Especially nowadays in the world of quick-texting, and most gals use their phone, not their computer. Although a well-thought out & written message will overall probably give you a slight leg up overall on average -- it's not worth the time spent. You can cover a lot more area with very simple initiated messages. You'll get more results that way. Toss out worry/shyness/concern.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 134
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/8/2019 6:26:19 PM

how many welll-written messages you have to send out just to get a response and all the rejection men face.


Are they boring generic messages like Hi, I'm Mr ice I seen on your profile blah blablah send me to sleep? that you're sending?

My last message I sent was this to a Woman I viewed yesterday. She viewed me Today and didn't send a message, so I thought oh go on rude not to after 30 mins passing. She replied within a couple of mins. The message was fro me was:

Are you really a secret agent or would that be a case of if you told me , you'd have to kill me scenario?

Do you really think I'm going to write tonne's of stuff to a thumbnail? No way. That comes with her interection level which has been very good. Brilliant to be fair.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 135
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/8/2019 6:32:34 PM
I have observed many couples in which the woman was much better-looking than the man she was with but I don't often see the opposite. Walk around in a place like Walmart, for example, and you will see.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 136
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/8/2019 6:34:20 PM
As they old saying goes.

You laugh your way into a Woman's knickers so they could be really funny guys or if they aren't holding hands etc her ugly brother lol
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 137
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/8/2019 7:15:46 PM
Your sister needs to be put in place. What she mean men feel entitled can to give opinion? Men are entitled to give their opinions. TBH, you will do much better doing the opposite IMHO. Personally I don't see how happy you will be dating a woman like your sister. Remember things are not ever equal, certainly not with a women's prerogative. It is a right you don't have. Men don't get away with being flaky.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 138
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/9/2019 2:08:02 AM
118
In my experience women sometimes , afterwards, make excuses as to why they did or didn't do anything.

And what experience do you have that you can make such wicked generalisation. Did you conduct a survey or do the women you know have a habit of discussing their dating lives with you? I'm wondering who they're making excuses to? You are partially right though

"Why they did or didn't do anything" means did i do the right thing or did I do the wrong thing. Your're talking about a person's conscience which creates and solves these dilemma's that can be caused by a wide variety of situations and happens to everyone.


119
And I can 100% guarantee you my daughters don't think this either

you should have finished that sentence with "because I asked them." Unless you're psychic there is no way you can know what your daughter's are thinking. If a parent could tell what their child was thinking there wouldn't be any school shootings. Ask them. If they're immediately offended you're right. If they should hesitate before answering then you are wrong.
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/9/2019 4:51:43 AM

I asked dating advice from her


(megacringe) Which is something you should never do. If you listen to what they say, you'll be led astray. Take advice from the men who are successful at attracting women. How many times has a woman's hokey "just be a good boy, then the right good girl will come along and all will be well" advice ever worked for you? Any man who buys into this naive bullshit deserves to fail. I did nothing but listen to women's advice in my youth, and got nowhere. It all changed when I began listening to my uncle, who was a mere 5'6'', yet had women throwing themselves at him like he was f*cking Elvis.

He said ONE thing to me that changed everything. He said "how many of the women in this family have actually dated the type of men they claim to be attracted to?" I had no answer for him. He then said, ''now, how often do you see ME dating the type of women I'm attracted to??"

At this point, that's when I knew it was time to shut up and listen.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 140
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/9/2019 6:15:09 AM

You are partially right though


No I am completely right, usually am though(aren't I humble?). Like that time you said my math was off but then realized I was right but didn't correct your comment :P. As for studies, although when I had experimental pysch there were actual student s that conducted such type studies , I can't find anything online. Back in the day we had to go to the library on campus and sort through boxes and boxes of studies to find such stuff. Since it isn't PC you aren't going to find much published media on topics like "lying to oneself" etc since that goes against the public narrative.


And what experience do you have that you can make such wicked generalization. Did you conduct a survey or do the women you know have a habit of discussing their dating lives with you? I'm wondering who they're making excuses to?



"Why they did or didn't do anything" means did I do the right thing or did I do the wrong thing. Your're talking about a person's conscience which creates and solves these dilemma's that can be caused by a wide variety of situations and happens to everyone.


Yes..they are making excuses to themselves. YOU GOT it. Although they often will share those "excuses" with outsiders. First lets attack the term "wicked generalization". That term is inappropriate since it isn't "wicked", nor is it a generalization since I used the word "SOMETIMES". If I said "ALL THE TIME", " ALWAYS", ETC, then it can be considered a generalization.
As for where my experiences come from: as I said it is my experience but I have had A LOT of experiences with women. This includes the experiences of others that I know added to the mix(just my father alone is a treasure). I am a VERY observant individual, like many introverts are. Add that to a social science background with BS(BS in Business too) and MS in Psychology(which included the study of women and interpersonal relations as well as abnormal psych) and applied "Behavioral Science" from the top Police Academy in the world..lets just say I trust my experiences over what people say. I spent a career arresting people based on my observations that went against what they say. Ironically in law enforcement we actually see women sometimes say something that accuses a guy of a crime(rape, sexual abuse) that simply didn't happen. The complainant made up the story to fit a narrative that justified their actions in a way that made sense to them. Sad but it happens. Some women just don't want to be seen as a slut,etc.


women you know have a habit of discussing their dating lives with you?

Actually, and I am not proud, I was with many women when I was younger that had BF's or even engaged. You would be shocked out the BS excuses made to justify actions. I still remember a girl I fracked trying to make a case against her BF in her head because he bought her flowers. I mean really?
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 141
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/9/2019 6:44:13 AM

you should have finished that sentence with "because I asked them." Unless you're psychic there is no way you can know what your daughter's are thinking. If a parent could tell what their child was thinking there wouldn't be any school shootings. Ask them. If they're immediately offended you're right. If they should hesitate before answering then you are wrong.


No. I don't have to finish my sentences the way you think I should. Unless you're a psychic there is no way you can know what my
relationships with my daughters are. You have no idea what our conversations might be.

Go sit back down and think some more on your life choices.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 142
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/9/2019 10:34:53 AM

Do you really think I'm going to write tonne's of stuff to a thumbnail? No way. That comes with her interection level which has been very good. Brilliant to be fair.


I don't think it really matters if you write a little or a tonne of stuff. If the woman likes your pic, she'll respond.


I have observed many couples in which the woman was much better-looking than the man she was with but I don't often see the opposite. Walk around in a place like Walmart, for example, and you will see.


Not really a fair comparison, as women often spend more money on their appearance. Some women would appear very plain and ordinary without all their makeup, eye liner, and hair-extensions.


Your sister needs to be put in place. What she mean men feel entitled can to give opinion? Men are entitled to give their opinions. TBH, you will do much better doing the opposite IMHO. Personally I don't see how happy you will be dating a woman like your sister. Remember things are not ever equal, certainly not with a women's prerogative. It is a right you don't have. Men don't get away with being flaky.


Well, I know my sister is a good person. She helped me get back on my feet when I had to quit my job to look after my dad who had cancer. By mansplaining and men feel entitled to give an opinion, I think she's referring to guys she dated. They usually were not as educated as she was, and they would try to get her to believe certain unscientific health fads and conspiracy theories and felt they knew more than she did just because they were men. She was correct in what she told me - these guys were wrong. She does seem to respect men who base their opinions on sound evidence. I don't have a problem with feminists - just the extreme ones. When I was in university there was this incredibly hot Jewish girl from New York City who I wanted to ask out on a date, but I didn't have the guts. It would have been easy because there were no others guys hanging around her. Then one day I checked her facebook page and saw she posted an article basically saying that all men feel entitled to women's bodies and are potential rapists. I'm glad I dodged that bullet.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 143
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/9/2019 1:10:47 PM

Then one day I checked her facebook page and saw she posted an article basically saying that all men feel entitled to women's bodies and are potential rapists. I'm glad I dodged that bullet.


Actually she might be right depending on how she meant it! Often women feel threatened that men potentially can rape them due to physical strength. She is right! But by the same token all men and women can be potentially bank robbers and murderers. As for the entitlement..perhaps she meant in the biological urge for men to procreate? I am splitting hairs because she used the term "potentially". We are a species that follows laws and a code of ethics to keep us in line.
TBH I have read more extreme feminist ideas and the progressive Jews have a high tendency to lean that way in my area. Since 1 out of 4 women in my borough are Jewish, I tended to only date Jewish gals if they were born in Eastern Europe or Israel. The local born and bred are too entitled for my taste, excluding the religious ones.

As for explaining that your sister is a "good person", I am sure she is. I just don't think being a male that it is in your favor to follow her ideology. As a women it works for her in the land of desperate thirsty men, but let her try that in Russia where an Anglo women would be ignored and her ideology goes against the cultural norms. It is all relative but I notice you like independent women on one hand and on the other you have mentioned that certain other cultures the women were sweethearts..cultures where they are not that independent. I would go for the sweetheart first before worrying whom pays the coffee bill.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 144
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/9/2019 2:44:30 PM


I've never thought payment of a date was any sort of transactional element or a form of downpayment. And I can 100% guarantee you my daughters don't think this either, and they are your age group.
you should have finished that sentence with "because I asked them." Unless you're psychic there is no way you can know what your daughter's are thinking.

You wouldn't have to ask someone you know well, to know what they generally think about something odd in particular. They could tell you how they feel about the subject and things related to it, and make it pretty darn clear. No asking required to know many things about someone. Especially one's family members.

And I can 100% guarantee one of my good friends doesn't think of merely paying the bill on a date as some form of down payment. The topic has come up about chicks, dates, paying, how girls are about dates, getting action, etc. I never had to ask him if he thinks that it's a form of a down payment, to guarantee you that he doesn't think of it that way -- any more than I'd have to ask him if he thinks it's a great idea or not to dine & ditch a hot, sweet woman who wants to have sex. No psychic abilities required on each with him. :)

However, there is a guy I know, where I Would have to ask him if he sees paying for a date as a form of down payment on her. He's cheap, self-centered, and thinks everyone owes him everything. So there -- yes, I couldn't be sure enough.

I don't think it really matters if you write a little or a tonne of stuff. If the woman likes your pic, she'll respond.

Writing tons can throw them off a bit in a negative way. Again, most people use their phones and are in texting mode. Plus, you're a stranger. Analysis has shown that shorter profiles bring better results than super-long ones, and I can see something coming To Them, it can have an effect too.


I have observed many couples in which the woman was much better-looking than the man she was with but I don't often see the opposite.
Not really a fair comparison, as women often spend more money on their appearance.

That doesn't make them Much Better Looking (like, out of one's league). Point is, yes, you'll see a gal way better looking than the guy, 1-on-1 -- much more often than a guy way better looking than the girl 1-on-1, hanging out.

I think many times though, they're not an item. Guys can be quite willing to hang out 1-on-1 friend-zoned, going shopping, having coffee or a drink with, with a real cute chick -- but not 1-on-1 with a gal he's clearly not at all attracted to. Guys generally speaking don't go around friend-zoning lesser-attractive gals to routinely hang out 1-on-1.

Well, I know my sister is a good person. She helped me get back on my feet when I had to quit my job to look after my dad who had cancer.

Just as an FYI... That is great, but one certainly can have an ineffective or poor POV/attitude about men (or women), but unrelated, actually be a great person in many aspects of life, and be a great person entirely to certain people in their life.

By mansplaining and men feel entitled to give an opinion, I think she's referring to guys she dated.

Dating or not -- if I said "All these women I dated are femsplaining stuff to me and, get this, they feel entitled to give an opinion!" -- I myself have an attitude problem.

They usually were not as educated as she was

If you're referring to school education -- certain specifics pertain to this, but usually not. So if she's pointing that out as basis for any rights/wrongs on most things, that's a red flag. It's implying "I'm more right because I took more classes related to this subject back in college."

and felt they knew more than she did just because they were men.

Not doubting she hasn't run into some guys who've had wacky ideas, or who were wacky themselves. We'll run into women into that, women will run into men like that, if you date too long. But the "just because they were men" -- same red flag as a guy saying "just because they were women". When many people complain about their dates and how they are -- especially if they have an ego -- you don't take what they say how the other actually was, as the gospel truth.

Then one day I checked her facebook page and saw she posted an article basically saying that all men feel entitled to women's bodies and are potential rapists. I'm glad I dodged that bullet.

Yeah that hot NYC gal you describe there is kinda nuts. She didn't mean all men are potential rapists in the same sense that all women (and men) are technically potential liars & thieves. :) She's stereotyping to the nth degree in a bad way. It's really sad, as for some, it gives them purpose in life, and resolution to some bad experiences (1st or 2nd hand).
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 145
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/9/2019 8:07:14 PM

As for explaining that your sister is a "good person", I am sure she is. I just don't think being a male that it is in your favor to follow her ideology. As a women it works for her in the land of desperate thirsty men, but let her try that in Russia where an Anglo women would be ignored and her ideology goes against the cultural norms. It is all relative but I notice you like independent women on one hand and on the other you have mentioned that certain other cultures the women were sweethearts..cultures where they are not that independent. I would go for the sweetheart first before worrying whom pays the coffee bill.


I think it’s possible to be a sweetheart and be independent at the same time. If Russian women were not independent what were they doing during the entire communist era? Going out and working and then coming home to run a household. A lot of the Russian men have an drinking problem, and the women can not necessarily rely on all of them. Even today women are working in Russia. I’ve had Russian female doctors, so the women must be at least as educated as the men.


If you're referring to school education -- certain specifics pertain to this, but usually not. So if she's pointing that out as basis for any rights/wrongs on most things, that's a red flag. It's implying "I'm more right because I took more classes related to this subject back in college."


They were not that educated. This is because before the economy went into recession men could make a lot of money here right out of high school working in the oil and gas industry . For example, just because you read a book by this “so-and-so” doctor who claims to be right, doesn’t mean you can ignore the fact that 99% of other doctors don’t agree on the matter. Same thing for saying that global warming is a myth. There are some scientists who disagree, but the consensus of 97% of them is that it is happening. As far as politically incorrect statements by some guys, they were judging the native Indian population when they themselves had an entitled upbringing. These people have been affected by alcoholism, and the loss of their land and culture - the entire problem was caused by European colonialism. I’m sure that it’s the same thing on Indian reservations in the United States as well.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 146
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/9/2019 9:07:23 PM

I don't think it really matters if you write a little or a tonne of stuff. If the woman likes your pic, she'll respond.

Really? I somehow missed that you had such extensive dating experience that you could make that observation.
I must say however that you are very wrong and please give women some credit for at least minimal intelligence. Sarcasm intended. Sorry but that is a really insulting comment. What? Like throw a dog a bone and he goes for it? Please.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 147
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/9/2019 9:37:16 PM
^^^ I don’t have much real life dating experience, but I’ve been off and on this site for over 10 years. I know that if I put up a below-average pic but write a message saying, “Hi, I read your profile and we have “this” and “this” in common - no response. If I put up my best quality pics and just a short message - occasionally a response and an a first message. Some women on here are just looking for a hot guy. They don’t have enough written in their profile in order for a guy to write a well-crafted message, but they have at least one good quality pic.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 148
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/9/2019 10:38:04 PM
It is a pretty common thing in Western Canada for the women to be more educated than the men because of the presence of the oil and gas industry, logging and potash mining and the railway. Three-quarters of men don't go to university but instead go to those industries or get into a trade so go to technical schools. Men on average make twice as much as women because these jobs are much more lucrative. Many men also go away for work a lot to mining, logging and oil camps. In the place I live, a lot of men are often gone out of town 50% of the time.
 FFS38
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 149
view profile
History
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/9/2019 10:54:10 PM
Msg 134

I don't think it really matters if you write a little or a tonne of stuff. If the woman likes your pic, she'll respond.


Msg 146

Really? I somehow missed that you had such extensive dating experience that you could make that observation.
I must say however that you are very wrong and please give women some credit for at least minimal intelligence. Sarcasm intended. Sorry but that is a really insulting comment. What? Like throw a dog a bone and he goes for it? Please.


I don't think what the poster said was insulting or demeaning. From my own experience there is a large element of truth to it, a well crafted message means nothing if the person receiving it is in no way attracted to you, just the same as a basic hello, how's your day can get a response if they like the look of you, and then lead on to better conversations.
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/10/2019 12:58:29 AM

Sorry but that is a really insulting comment.


Insulting or not, there's a lot of truth in it. What his comment boils down to is that looks matter and have their advantages. How is that such a far-fetched notion?

Back when I was using the site for dating, I made it a point to see what kind of silly shit I could get away with, and it was a bit surprising. I once wrote a woman who was standing in her living room in front of a picture that was hung crooked. I wrote her and told her to straighten it. She wrote back with "lol, how are you?" Another time, I used nothing more than "I am Batman". She replied with "are you sure you're not Pigman?" We ended up meeting 3 days later.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > She used a gift card to pay for her meal