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 FFS38
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 176
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Have giftcard, will travel. Page 8 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

She was a decent looking girl, but she made the fact that she was "420 friendly" a huge part of her POF identity, and I've dealt with way too many of those in my time.


Surprising how much detail people choose to put in/ leave out on their profiles, you never know what you're gonna get. At least 3 dates I've been on so far the girls have stated they were non smokers, while proceeding to smoke half of my cigarettes during the course of the evening lol
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 177
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Posted: 4/11/2019 9:29:53 AM

At least 3 dates I've been on so far the girls have stated they were non smokers, while proceeding to smoke half of my cigarettes during the course of the evening lol


This has happened to my friend a few times to where they have done the same thing. But like yourself he was a smoker.

I gave up smoking and would smell it a mile away no matter how much it is concealed. If that how the beginning of a potential relationship start with a lie. It makes you wonder about all their so called truths ;)
 FFS38
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 178
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Posted: 4/11/2019 9:59:11 AM

This has happened to my friend a few times to where they have done the same thing. But like yourself he was a smoker.

I gave up smoking and would smell it a mile away no matter how much it is concealed. If that how the beginning of a potential relationship start with a lie. It makes you wonder about all their so called truths ;)


I actually don't give much attention to that particular part now because I believe that people want to come across as positively as possible.
Though I've in no way encouraged them it's actually made me feel more comfortable when they have lit up as we've been on an equal footing.
The reasons given, two of them: I tend to smoke when I have a drink.
The other (an ex smoker): I've had a stressful day lol.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 179
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Posted: 4/11/2019 11:12:58 AM
This has been quite enjoyable, especially the last several posts. I keep my profile hidden to keep from getting unwanted messages. Seriously, I'm old and fat. Definitely not what you would think someone's looking for, but when my profile is not hidden I get messages. I don't know if people are that desperate or just think that we are and that's why they persist in writing when a profile says just here for the forums. Maybe it's just lack of respect?

When I was looking a picture would get me to peek at a profile, but the content would make or break it. Some of the things people write are, shall we say, amusing. Speaking of pictures I'm still stunned at what people will put up. Nothing says next like a person that looks like a stranger to soap and water.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 180
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Posted: 4/11/2019 11:21:00 AM

Nothing says next like a person that looks like a stranger to soap and water.


I seen quite a few needing a good regimental scrub haha



In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.

Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 181
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Posted: 4/11/2019 12:24:44 PM

I don't know if people are that desperate or just think that we are and that's why they persist in writing when a profile says just here for the forums. Maybe it's just lack of respect?


All of the above apply.
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/11/2019 7:26:04 PM

Surprising how much detail people choose to put in/ leave out on their profiles, you never know what you're gonna get. At least 3 dates I've been on so far the girls have stated they were non smokers, while proceeding to smoke half of my cigarettes during the course of the evening lol


Yes, then there's the "I only smoke when I'm drinking, so it doesn't really count" types, yet they drink multiple times per week. Non-smokers do not smoke under any circumstances. It's really that simple.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 3/1/2019
Msg: 183
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Posted: 4/12/2019 5:01:30 AM
Romantic date:

“Everything was in place, the bubble bath had been poured, the chocolate was there, the scented candles had been lit.......


This was going to be the best wank ever”

Ed Byrne.
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/12/2019 5:17:20 AM

Sorry Hun make an effort I say or is this the effort I should expect down the line If I date you.


Might I offer an alternative perspective on this? The "ask me" (or variants of) profiles have become common because they actually work. Whether the woman has a lengthy profile or not, the first move is contacting her either way, so why not take a chance on an "ask me" profile? The scorekeeping/tit for tat approach to all of this can end up being a shooting yourself in the foot scenario in the grand scheme of things.

I used to be a stickler for how a woman typed. Shorthand and misspellings drove me berzerk, but a few years back, I had a woman write me, and it looked like she typed the message with her nose, but she was ridiculously hot, so I replied. We ended up meeting at a food court in a mall. She was very articulate and as fun to talk to as any of my male friends.
 sparkyn98p2
Joined: 11/25/2009
Msg: 185
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Posted: 4/12/2019 6:03:14 AM

Yes, then there's the "I only smoke when I'm drinking, so it doesn't really count" types, yet they drink multiple times per week. Non-smokers do not smoke under any circumstances. It's really that simple.


Much like the social drinkers that are basically "social" every day of the week!


I used to be a stickler for how a woman typed. Shorthand and misspellings drove me berzerk

I do not know how you quit this! I don't know why... they're, their and there and to and too misuse... it makes my eyes bleed.
I understand mistyping occasionally.
My boys call me a grammar nazi, like those silly videos.
I basically send mile long texts because I don't use the cool, new shorthand. hahaha
Have giftcard, will travel.
Posted: 4/12/2019 6:41:32 AM

I do not know how you quit this! I don't know why... they're, their and there and to and too misuse... it makes my eyes bleed.


Oh, believe me, I feel your pain. It's an excruciating visual. However, I asked myself how much it mattered in face to face interaction with her.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 187
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Posted: 4/12/2019 7:32:49 AM

I used to be a stickler for how a woman typed. Shorthand and misspellings drove me berzerk, but a few years back, I had a woman write me, and it looked like she typed the message with her nose, but she was ridiculously hot, so I replied. We ended up meeting at a food court in a mall. She was very articulate and as fun to talk to as any of my male friends.


Agreed, the hotter ones can get away with it so they don't bother. Work smarter not harder is honorable. TBH many cultures the women think it is rude to talk about themselves so in my dating pool one needs to take that in consideration.
I mean, my choices were the over educated hipster chick with a trust fund with perfect Midwestern grammar, or the hot Czech girl that has a masters and speaks 3 languages and is well traveled and does hot yoga. The choice was easy.


do not know how you quit this! I don't know why... they're, their and there and to and too misuse... it makes my eyes bleed.
I understand mistyping occasionally.

To bad for you. Ironically the most intelligent guys might actually be bad at writing/grammar . There are the guys who excel at grammar like the type that become lawyers, teachers, and journalists(my experience most journalists I have met are dumb as a nail). But then you have the guys that are more mathematical. Most don't go both ways. This group includes the doctors, engineers, scientists, etc. Heck, they need technical writers just to reiterate what they write in a more common vernacular.

I gave up smoking and would smell it a mile away no matter how much it is concealed. If that how the beginning of a potential relationship start with a lie. It makes you wonder about all their so called truths ;)

For some anything short of smoking one pack a day designates one as a non smoker.
I think the "drinks socially" is even a bit more vague because they feel to mention that every time they go out socially includes multiple tequila shots and a bottle of Southern Comfort.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 188
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Posted: 4/12/2019 10:48:06 AM

Might I offer an alternative perspective on this? The "ask me" (or variants of) profiles have become common because they actually work. Whether the woman has a lengthy profile or not, the first move is contacting her either way, so why not take a chance on an "ask me" profile? The scorekeeping/tit for tat approach to all of this can end up being a shooting yourself in the foot scenario in the grand scheme of things.


I agree, it could be a shot in the foot. It is something I will work on If Its a new profile of a woman I havn't seen. Then I might throw a message her way as they may not have had time to think of a good blurb. I think that is different.

This lady in question does have prefer not to say under do you want children too, so I'd avoid as it is a no no and she is 46 years old. I've seen this with other women where they had profile text, and removed it to say just ask.

The profile before this stated they had 5,6, and even 7 children, hence, Why it gets the raised eyebrow. I also beelive dating and effort goes both ways so if I take my time to try write a profile. I think they should. Not short of people to message that do make an effrt to be fair.


For some anything short of smoking one pack a day designates one as a non smoker.
I think the "drinks socially" is even a bit more vague because they feel to mention that every time they go out socially includes multiple tequila shots and a bottle of Southern Comfort.


Well, I do know if I was to smell it right of the bat. I'd about turn and not even say another word, or I'd be blunt. Not shy in being blunt by far in person. Smell is one of main attractants. I do wish I had different thoughts on this, though.

Big drinkers a no no for me. I rarely drink these days unless its going out. A Saturday night having a few bourbons isn't out of the question. Pissed up all of the time is wasting time I have left at this age sleeping of the hangover ;)
 FFS38
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 189
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Posted: 4/12/2019 11:25:07 AM

Well, I do know if I was to smell it right of the bat. I'd about turn and not even say another word, or I'd be blunt. Not shy in being blunt by far in person. Smell is one of main attractants. I do wish I had different thoughts on this, though.

Big drinkers a no no for me. I rarely drink these days unless its going out. A Saturday night having a few bourbons isn't out of the question. Pissed up all of the time is wasting time I have left at this age sleeping of the hangover ;)


You're not exactly selling yourself here lol, don't smoke, don't drink..sometimes you have to be prepared to get your hands dirty, particularly if you're looking for someone 'down n dirty'. (you may have to bring your wellies if possible) 😂
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 190
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Posted: 4/12/2019 12:09:27 PM

You're not exactly selling yourself here lol, don't smoke, don't drink..sometimes you have to be prepared to get your hands dirty, particularly if you're looking for someone 'down n dirty'. (you may have to bring your wellies if possible)


Not really arsed to be fair fella. I can always change my mind and have a messy one. But out every weekend pissed up or with an Alcoholic as a partner. Nah. and didn't I say I rarely drink these days unless I'm going out like on the pull. Please read lol.. 5 pints max. I don't do 12 these days. Kills. Bourbon is indoors with company to clarify.

You can have fun sober too :) Only boring people need beer to be themselves or Rather just repeat same shit all night long.
 FFS38
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 191
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Posted: 4/12/2019 12:51:04 PM

Not really arsed to be fair fella. I can always change my mind and have a messy one.


Yeah sorry no offence meant, just a bit of banter pal, forgive my childish sense of humour. Sometimes a friend of mine drops by and I'm sure he puts dandelion leaves in my tea or some s**t.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 192
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Posted: 4/12/2019 1:25:29 PM

Yeah sorry no offence meant, just a bit of banter pal, forgive my childish sense of humour. Sometimes a friend of mine drops by and I'm sure he puts dandelion leaves in my tea or some s**t.


No worries. No Offence taken.

The question is: Are they top notch leaves. If not I'd be having some words :)
 sexandthepof
Joined: 10/1/2012
Msg: 193
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/13/2019 10:14:23 AM

Great on the date!
She sounds cautious and may be a bit shy.
This could be why she refers to it as friendship.
I know the guys get their knickers in a twist over this word but don’t we all want to be real friends with our partner.
Both good things.
The guys are right though you may need to lead, but gently.

ETA....she used a coupon? I love her already lol


Me too - agree - about the bold part. :-)

Besides, didn't many men on here often discuss before, and always express, that they wished their dates would pitch in on the meal because there is equality in the 21st century? And don't the middle class (not the rich) men love or like women who are frugal? Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Being a woman, I would love to have the man on my date to pay for the meal, and I have no problem to share to pay for it either. And if I were a man, I would pay the whole meal for the first date at least, and I would appreciate if my date offered to pay her share too, but I would not let her to pay on the first date anyway. I think that means a traditional gentleman. That's my thinking anyway. I'm an old school and a little modern also.

It's a modern world now. People have changed; and they always analyze and criticize others so much. Wonder why it’s so hard to find a date. Anyway, don’t settle for a mediocrity – that’s most people’s goal, right?
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 194
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/13/2019 12:12:29 PM

People have changed


Not really.
More advanced technology just makes the same old behaviors more widespread.
For example, some married people have always cheated- at work, meeting at bars- now they add the Internet to the mix.


they always analyze and criticize others so much.


Which would be fine if they were actually good at it.
But they're not.


don’t settle for a mediocrity – that’s most people’s goal, right?


And yet, they still do settle.
Mediocrity rules !


women are nitpicky


Then how do so many end up in unhappy relationships with losers who abuse them, and end up digging themselves a hole they may never get out of, since the problems with the ex go on....and on....and on.

Not nitpicky enough about the right things.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 195
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/13/2019 4:29:40 PM

Then how do so many end up in unhappy relationships with losers who abuse them, and end up digging themselves a hole they may never get out of, since the problems with the ex go on....and on....and on.

Not nitpicky enough about the right things.


Are all these guys really losers? I doubt it. There’s two sides to every story. When people get out of a bad relationship they’re always going to blame it on the other person, whether or not it’s really true.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 196
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/13/2019 4:42:05 PM

Are all these guys really losers? I doubt it. There’s two sides to every story. When people get out of a bad relationship they’re always going to blame it on the other person, whether or not it’s really true.


Exactly. You don't hear the person who complaining saying how much of a d1ck they were lol

There is a saying when 2 people argue after a while in public can you tell who the original c0ck was
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 197
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/14/2019 5:51:40 PM
Men complain that most gals would expect them to foot the whole bill even on the first meet.... I would see if she wants to see you again and this time you would pay..... If not, then you are in the friendzone as you suspect. How she paid for her half is her business really.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 198
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Posted: 4/14/2019 5:55:07 PM
on the other hand.....you are pretty and not that old from what I see. Some guys appreciate a mature woman but on the other hand are just looking for a hit it and quit it...
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 199
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/14/2019 7:38:57 PM

I thinks guys underestimate how much stock women put in the written profiles. Yes, the pic and stats get a woman to LOOK at a profile but women are nitpicky.

But July, for better or worse, you're not at all the poster child for the mindset of the typical gal online. Add to that, how much experience have you had dating women of various types? :)

The pics + (key) profile stats are essentially It. If the guy can communicate coherently, and doesn't screw up what he writes her or what he wrote in his profile (relatively Easy to avoid; no in-depth writing required) -- you avoided any "nixes".

Men complain that most gals would expect them to foot the whole bill even on the first meet....

Complain, or point out a highly common trend/expectation in dating, even if not upset about it, yeah...

I would see if she wants to see you again and this time you would pay..... If not, then you are in the friendzone as you suspect.

First, at the risk of sounding technical (which it's really not so much) -- they're not friend-zoning you if they don't want to go out on another date. That would be the exception, not the rule. Friend-zoning doesn't = lack of interest in-that-way. Lack of that interest is just a required ingredient.

Second, many dates aren't situated where the bill comes at the end of the date. You could be grabbing drinks (put it on my tab), going to a movie ("So, before I pay -- are we going to go out again?") -- or even to grab something to eat, but it entails doing something else immediately after and not sitting around a table all evening.

But yes, it is also common To be in the situation you speak of. However, of the girl (or guy) who is not That interested in the other, but the date was enjoyable, there's a High % chance they'll still say "Yes" when the other brings up the notion that they'd be willing to go out again, even though they'll be too busy to (ie lack of interest), etc.

And even if the gal Is truly willing to go out again, at -that- moment, it doesn't at all mean it will surely happen. Add to that, even if it does happen, it doesn't mean her interest level is sufficiently there or will be. And during this process -- even if there is sufficient interest -- it doesn't change the fact that he's still expected to pay. Of course, the guy will have less qualms about the who-pays situation, yes. But not by much at all, if they don't end up going-steady, yet, he took her out on a handful of dates flipping her bill, when he liked her, and her attraction faded (or was never sufficiently there).

I myself don't b!tch about the concept. I instead roll my eyes when people (gals included of course) take that for Granted.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 200
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/15/2019 9:38:43 AM
I think people (both men and women) end up with "bad" people due to poor self esteem or they are attracted to specific qualities and overlooking others. And I realize "bad" is just a relative term. However, there are certain qualities that do make someone a "bad" person for relationships and those things include lack of employment stability, mental/verbal/physical abusive behaviour, anger issues and mental health issues. I ended up with someone with all these issues due in large part to poor self esteem (I had just been dumped by someone I really liked and at a very low point), a desire to find someone because my friends were all settling down and having babies and a belief that all people have the potential to change and be a better person. Of course it never worked out for me but younger me had yet to learn some tough lessons. I think women (and men) who end up with "bad" spouses, have a propensity to either become nitpicky or they keep picking people exactly the same.
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