Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 26
view profile
History
Disappointed after dating someone you really liked? Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
better he cut it off before you got intimate and then he disappeared.... right?? If you had a full length shot then he could see what you looked like. Some people look okay with a bit of weight. Depends on how it is distributed. Crying over a man you dont know is sad. If you feel you need to lose weight for your own self esteem then you can do it.
 Carrolllll5858
Joined: 3/14/2016
Msg: 27
view profile
History
Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/17/2019 7:55:42 PM
I been on this site for 6 years now, and I had my fair share of being disappointed, but I know a few times I been disappointed is finding out the girl I’m talking to had old pictures of herself from years prior to I guess “sell her” to guys messaging. I try not to judge on weight too much being I’m no model myself but it’s kinds a dealbreaker when messaging a girl who looked active and great as in health wise and then I see them on Snapchat or video call being twice their weight with chin fat.
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 28
view profile
History
Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/18/2019 8:10:53 AM
Never been disappointed in that sense personally as I don’t walk into any date with expectations on how a lady should be. Nor do I expect anything when chatting with them completely open mind to seeing what develops in the future a physical attraction, emotional or none can’t force it just accept that is something you can’t control either you feel that or don’t. It’s not there you move hoping the next time it is, if it is there you hope that feeling is mutual to move forward if it’s not that is not their fault they can’t control their’s any more than you can so move on positively and try again.
 FFS38
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 29
view profile
History
Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/18/2019 8:58:15 AM

it’s kind of a dealbreaker when messaging a girl who looked active and great as in health wise and then I see them on Snapchat or video call being twice their weight with chin fat.


Chin fat lol 😁
Maybe there should be an option on here to state how many chins you have?

Or perhaps "would you date somebody with several chins?"
Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/20/2019 2:19:32 PM


I did apply a concept like this a Long Long time ago. Admittedly, it did work in a way. I couldn't get the cuter girls that I had a good shot at IRL. But online, that was tough anyway. So of the girls I did get online, they expected Less when I met them. When you deliver More than they expect? Your stock price rises higher than that difference. They're elated. Underpants come off quicker, too. I was on the rebound at the time - lol. Again, long time ago. :)

Times have changed though, online. From my second-hand observation, I think it's a bit more in the opposite direction for guys. And one can only do that up until a certain point -- depending how 'bad' their pics are online, and how 'better' they look IRL.


This is an interested idea! Using pictures that aren't flattering to provide more than they expect can work but... Those pictures might make it harder to get dates.

I've only met one woman who looked better IRL than she did in her pics. It was a "Wow!" moment when I first saw her. Everyone else either looked like their pics (less than half) or they were heavier, older or both IRL.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 31
view profile
History
Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/20/2019 2:58:24 PM

This is an interested idea! Using pictures that aren't flattering to provide more than they expect can work but... Those pictures might make it harder to get dates.

It is harder, but IF you can pull it off -- it's money. If you're a "5.5" in her eyes from your pics online, and objectively speaking, you end up being a 6.5 -- you end up being a 7.5 or 8 in her eyes.

Problem is nowadays, it's harder To get a date. You basically have to be able to get a gal who's looking for a particular Type of guy that's not so easy to find when scanning guys' profiles, and you measure up well in that direction. And with her focus on said Type of guy, the looks thing isn't too picky and you hit her at a time where just going out fits her schedule and she could use a date under her belt. You time it right like that -- and BAM! Her belt's cumming off. ;)
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 32
view profile
History
Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/20/2019 4:30:37 PM
It’s not harder to get dates it’s people’s unwise choices to not put their pictures and profile to match their true character. When making a profile it has to be the real you or your profile don’t match who you are and that sends flags of deceit. I see a woman who has fun pictures, and serious profile I move on why? They don’t line up either someone else wrote it, she really isn’t looking or she isn’t being honest about herself and trying to hard to impress.

Profiles should match what you are going to be in the relationship are you a stickler okay the profile should be very neat and well thought well written to appeal to those like you. If you’re high intelligent and look for it act like it but remember you eliminate every women who thinks she is not smart enough for you. That is how it works if you want fun you write fun, interesting to appeal those like minded individuals you don’t try out of that and someone who is not like you shouldn’t really try to help they are not the same they can only appeal to like minded individuals like themselves.

That’s the real problem to wide a variety and people trying to change others you don’t do that you give ideas on how to appeal to like minds in their social groups not yours. It’s why some people have success and others don’t we search out like minded individuals you know who is not like you instantly and can say their not being honest you can only put up that image so long before you make a mistake and have problems.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 33
view profile
History
Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/22/2019 10:54:31 AM
I put more unflattering photos online for maybe a a week before and I got many more messages but not from the guys I wanted messages from. A lot more lewd messages from guys asking directly for sex while before, guys at least beat around the bush a bit and din't ask directly. I took those pics away, mainly because it bothered me to much having pics where I looked bad on the internet. I want to put my best foot forward and felt I was just aiming lower putting bad pics up.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 34
view profile
History
Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/22/2019 11:24:03 AM

Profiles should match what you are going to be in the relationship are you a stickler okay the profile should be very neat and well thought well written to appeal to those like you.

In an ideal world, I agree. But here's the caveat: Many people leafing thru the profiles are going to have assumptions. They're going to judge it non-ideally/non-accurately, and different than IRL. So people are going to put things in their profile with this in mind, when they're not getting good results Or someone they know informed them of this to make better use of it off the bat.

Because in the end, done the right way, one Can get better results in the dating world -- and not just 1-and-done dates -- if they "tweak" their profile in the right way which does not totally reflect themselves how they are in a relationship.

What makes this Not So bad (again, to a certain extent) -- is how we are in one relationship will vary to another. How we roll in one office work place will vary from another, if said offices are very different. Kind of like a Resume and Cover Letter -- to ideally get a good job, I may exaggerate my desire to work for them due to x/y/z in what they do, but in reality it's not quite accurate (but it's not that far away from accuracy). Same with a profile. Because in the end, people want Results. And people Can Get better results + better matches when doing so, in the right way. YMMV.

I put more unflattering photos online for maybe a a week before and I got many more messages but not from the guys I wanted messages from.

I'm sure you get messages from guys you're not into. Changing pics by itself is going to reel in more responses and fresh faces. How unflattering were they, and what were you doing in them?

I took those pics away, mainly because it bothered me to much having pics where I looked bad on the internet. I want to put my best foot forward and felt I was just aiming lower putting bad pics up.

If you're looking to hook up (as a gal), you let a guy pick up on that, and you don't mind a guy once in a while not having interest as a date winds down -- you can get away with putting up pics that make you look significantly better online VS IRL.

SIDE NOTE: Funny thing is, some people aren't good judges of their looks in some pics VS IRL; kind of like listening to the sound of your own voice. They may think Good Picture A & B do in fact represent themselves Accurately IRL, when, no, they make them look Better. IMO, many times, one's "best foot forward", if they are a picture person and have plenty of them -- will be better looking than them online VS spotting them at a bar.

If looking for true Dating -- not a good idea. And for guys, not a good idea in general. But, it is worth trying to mix things up, as it'll get you more dates with ones you find decent attraction to, and there very well may be a someone who doesn't really mind so much the difference (most likely a gal not minding as much, when that happens).
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/25/2019 11:30:39 AM

I had my fair share of being disappointed,


a few times I been disappointed


Disappointment will be your closest friend, with online dating.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 36
view profile
History
Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/28/2019 7:10:46 AM

Have you ever really liked someone for awhile, finally dated them then was disappointed in the end? I've only experienced that in the short term. Like seeing someone on a dating site, have great conversation, get along good but just don't feel it. Maybe our personalities weren't comparable, the sex wasn't good or I wasn't physically attracted to her after our clothes came off.


Maybe you saw her for a good lay, got that lay, and scurried along and this is just a pretense to excuse the licentious behavior?


There are a couple of women I'd really like to date.


Your expectations are too high, high enough that you feel you can use people who don't measure up to it.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?