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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > cancelled 2 hrs before the date      Home login  
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 FFS38
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 176
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cancelled 2 hrs before the datePage 8 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

Yesterday in fact we talked again. He says how sexy i am commenting on a pic of me poledancing (for fitness) and he said he is looking forward to see me again. I said me too I want to see him.


You're obviously still into this guy, despite how he's treated you so far.



As I said above, I am talking to other guys too.


That doesn't matter, you're using that as a defence mechanism to say to him that you're quite a catch and that there's lots of other guy's interested, and that if he doesn't snap you up soon he'll lose you.
Most people know, particularly after a long term relationship, you can't just walk straight into somebody's arms immediately and pretend you're into them, a bit like that song 'Nothing Compares 2U'...
I can put my arms around every boy I see,
they'd only remind me of you...
 CroydonGirl
Joined: 4/2/2019
Msg: 177
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/25/2019 3:20:54 AM
I didnt let him know of course im dating others.

But ye he could be lying he is single, he could be working his way getting back with her etc.

Well i dont know him so ye im talking to other guys
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/25/2019 4:00:27 AM
Ah, so you're continuing to prove my and Joe's point. We're not the fools you once suggested we are. ;)


But ye he could be lying he is single, he could be working his way getting back with her etc.

Well i dont know him so ye im talking to other guys


Until there's talk of exclusivity, who either of you is dating isn't any of the other's business.


Anyway, thanks all for your support.


Aww, shucks. It's the least I can do.


He says how sexy i am commenting on a pic of me poledancing


I should get to see this for all the support I've given.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 179
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/25/2019 4:29:31 AM

You're obviously still into this guy, despite how he's treated you so far.


Yes, she is. I called this on page two. She will put up with any shitty behavior he offers her and he will continue to disappoint her. Something tells me she is a " nothing says love, like a restraining order" type girl.


Anyway, thanks all for your support

Don't worry, I won't even say, " I told you so", ……….. when you come back to make another thread wishing you would have listened to that old, ugly, stinky lady.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 180
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cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/25/2019 10:36:24 AM

He says how sexy i am commenting on a pic of me poledancing (for fitness)



I said me too I want to see him.


Flattery will get him everywhere.


But I believe 2 things are more likely happening here:
1. He is in a relationship still with his baby mother and stringing me along, so he lied
2. He was already consistently seeing someone else before meeting me and he hasnt cleared up his mind



Otherwise i dont see why a grown adult would say so many times he wants to see me but not making any plans.
Even with multidating i dont believe this behaviour makes sense.


and yet:


I said me too I want to see him.


Do people just not realize when they are being a run-of-the-mill cliche?
 wood_smell_as_sweet
Joined: 2/20/2019
Msg: 181
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cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/25/2019 10:46:10 AM
CroydonGirl, this man is only flattering you and telling you what you want to hear. He probably tells other women that they are sexy too. He is just stringing you along. You should stop replying to his texts and give your attention to men who make firm plans to see you.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 182
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cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/25/2019 11:21:49 AM

Otherwise i dont see why a grown adult would say so many times he wants to see me but not making any plans.

Yes, you have every right to be skeptical. Betting odds are in your favor on what you presume. He obviously has interest in you, but at the same time, it's almost like his mother grounded him (lol). OR, which is possible, he's bad at the dating scene because he IS now single, has truth to what he's saying, and his mindset is that he doesn't want to set something up where he could maybe miss out on the date again due to everything going on, as he knows he can't afford to do That again -- so he doesn't even try quite yet.

You can just ask him via text in your next reply if he doesn't bring up a date in the next 24 hours. You can just say "You obviously like me, but I am skeptical that you're truly single, due to your availability. I hope I'm wrong -- so let's just set up a date in the near future, or go our merry ways."
 Chrissi324
Joined: 4/28/2019
Msg: 183
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 5/9/2019 4:02:08 AM
Update: we went out last Saturday and we kissed a lot towards the end.

The week that was to go out, I noticed less initiation from this part though.

At the night, admittedly things became hot between us, i mean the kissing and he suggested to stay to a hotel.

I declined as i said it was too early to do this and said he wanted to kiss me all night long and that he wouldnt do anything that i would be uncomfortable with.

So we talked a bit Saturday after the date and Sunday, saying how we want to explore each other.

Monday passes and no word.

On Tuesday, I accidentally called him on whats app and then he sent me a text to say he was sleeping (it was night) and he didnt see my call. Then that day we talked, he was warm, saying he had a bad day and that he wants to hug me and kiss me.

Then next day i send a good morning text, with kisses, no reply and no word till today.

I dont know what to make of this, he told me he fancies me etc.

Shall i leave this alone? I dont really do multiple dating, i find that the concept does not work for me, so i would prefer just write off someone, before moving on to explore other options.

He also said he talked to his friends about me
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 5/9/2019 4:12:13 AM
^ Soooooooooo, do you still think Joe and I are "fools"??

He's working that push and pull like a motherf*cker.
 Chrissi324
Joined: 4/28/2019
Msg: 185
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 5/9/2019 4:14:12 AM
Im not sure if thats a push and pull and what for.

Im not initiating anything now.

He hasn't asked for a third date.

Maybe i should just write him off at this stage.
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 5/9/2019 4:20:58 AM
Well, if you're going to continue with the pattern you have so far, all he has to do is show a glimmer of interest again, and you'll be right back on board.

We tried telling you weeks ago how this was all going to go down.

I can't help but laugh at this, too...


i mean the kissing and he suggested to stay to a hotel. I declined as i said it was too early to do this and said he wanted to kiss me all night long and that he wouldnt do anything that i would be uncomfortable with.


A hotel? Just to kiss?? Uuuuh huh.

Cooldog?? I need that rolling on the floor laughing emoji code again.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 187
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cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 5/9/2019 6:23:39 AM

Cooldog?? I need that rolling on the floor laughing emoji code again.


Put "roll" between the colons.

 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 188
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cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 5/9/2019 6:27:15 AM
^^^
You know what?
Remember the odd things guys can do that make women crazy? He is doing it!

Actually , pulling back probably best at this point. Ironically, if you were to say something like "I am not sure how I feel about you anymore" and pull back cold turkey , don't be surprised if he frantically comes a calling. He gets off on the ego boost, and if you take away the attention he might actually become obsessed to get back the boost. At least weeks ago that would have played out that way probably.

But let me ask..do you really need this see saw in your life?
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 189
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cancelled 2 hrs before the date, but its still going on
Posted: 5/9/2019 7:13:21 AM
"I'm not sure if thats a push and pull and what for."

>>>when a fellow is on the fence about someone (rather than over the moon for 'em), he pushes for romance, then pulls away when he considers the cost of it. It stimulates the drama some women need in their life (he loves me, he loves me not). so some fellows recognized it when it was done unintentionally, and noticed its power if done intentionally. Its like fly fishing, you tease the fish into committing to bite.

"I declined as i said it was too early to do this and said he wanted to kiss me all night long and that he wouldn't do anything that i would be uncomfortable with."

>>>this line is older than Bill Cosby's. There's even a joke, about the lad who asks in the darkened bedroom if he can put his finger into her bellybutton, and she says, hey, that's not my bellybutton! and he replies, surprise, it ain't my finger.

its funny what we're suddenly comfortable with once aroused.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 190
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cancelled 2 hrs before the date, but its still going on
Posted: 5/9/2019 9:11:02 AM
Damn. The push and pull scenario. You meet a guy, you really like a guy, but he has one foot in and one foot out. I've been there, with my first boyfriend who I tried dating a few times. Back in the day, he dumped me but then preceded to keep contacting me and we'd always end up sleeping together. He wanted to spend time with me and sleep with me but he didn't want to be my boyfriend anymore. One day I had enough and cut him off cold turkey, told him I was done and wouldn't respond to his texts. Two months later he wrote me a long sappy email about how much he missed me and wanted to be my boyfriend again and to give him another chance. I chose to not reply. Ten years later I tried dating him again, but he gave me mixed messages. At first he really seemed into me but then he wouldn't text me back for a few days at a time. I told him I couldn't see him anymore because he was bringing out my insecurities with his hot-cold (push/pull) routine and a month later he sent me a sappy message and pulled me back in. I liked him, had real feelings for him so back in I went, only to have him cancel on me one too many times and I felt he just wasn't into me enough. I shared with him my perspective and he ended things that time. A couple months later, he contacts me again and after trying to resist, I agreed to meet up with him. We shared a really great day together and things were actually going good. We were talking regularly on the phone and I was actually starting to trust him. We had a plan to spend a weekend together (he lived a couple hours away). I drove the 3 hour drive to drop my kids off at the halfway point with their father and then actually went to get my hair done and I actually put on makeup and was really looking forward to going out with him that night in the city. About 45 minutes away I texted him that I was almost there and asked him the address of the place we were supposed to meet and he told it to me. Then it happens. A couple minutes later he texts me to tell me sorry, but he has a work thing suddenly and he has to cancel the weekend. As disappointment fills me up I am stopped on the side of the road and left wondering if he's lying. I phone him and get a message saying the call cannot be completed, it is what you get when someone has blocked you. I send a few texts and no response. I send him a message on POF and nothing. Finally I send him an email asking him why is he has suddenly blocked me and what I did wrong. I cry on the side of the road for an hour and drive the couple hours home. Later I get an email back and he tells me he's sorry but he has decided not to pursue things with me and not to try and contact him again.

What I have come to realize, if a guy really actually wants to be with you, then he won't yank your chain around and won't play hot and cold. Guys that like you won't put you off and won't give you mixed signals. If you really like him you will try and read these signals as "he's just playing hard to get" but really you need to listen to that inner voice that tells you he's not into you like you are in to him. It sucks. It hurts. Move on. Because even if you actually snag him, and chances of that are unrealistic, he will always treat you the same way.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 191
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cancelled 2 hrs before the date, but its still going on
Posted: 5/9/2019 9:16:34 AM
^^^ Paragraphs...please!
 FFS38
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 192
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cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 5/9/2019 10:47:35 AM

Update: we went out last Saturday and we kissed a lot towards the end.

The week that was to go out, I noticed less initiation from this part though.

At the night, admittedly things became hot between us, i mean the kissing and he suggested to stay to a hotel.

I declined as i said it was too early to do this and said he wanted to kiss me all night long and that he wouldnt do anything that i would be uncomfortable with.

So we talked a bit Saturday after the date and Sunday, saying how we want to explore each other.

Monday passes and no word.

On Tuesday, I accidentally called him on whats app and then he sent me a text to say he was sleeping (it was night) and he didnt see my call. Then that day we talked, he was warm, saying he had a bad day and that he wants to hug me and kiss me.

Then next day i send a good morning text, with kisses, no reply and no word till today.

I dont know what to make of this, he told me he fancies me etc.


He probably does fancy you, he probably fancies the girl in admin at work, he probably thinks the checkout girl in tesco is a bit tasty, doesn't mean he wants to have a relationship with you.


Shall i leave this alone? I dont really do multiple dating, i find that the concept does not work for me, so i would prefer just write off someone, before moving on to explore other options.


You seem like you've already answered your own question.

Thought you were already keeping your options open anyway, didn't you say before you had a few others you were talking to?


He also said he talked to his friends about me


Yeah but what did he say to them?


Im not initiating anything now.

He hasn't asked for a third date.

Maybe i should just write him off at this stage.


If he ain't got his sh*t together at this stage what's he gonna be like when you're actually going out?

Ask yourself that.
cancelled 2 hrs before the date, but its still going on
Posted: 5/9/2019 11:06:42 AM

What I have come to realize, if a guy really actually wants to be with you, then he won't yank your chain around and won't play hot and cold. Guys that like you won't put you off and won't give you mixed signals.


Sounds like some of Mom's good ol' fashioned dating advice that seems to make sense on the surface, but reality shows us time and time again when we're dealing with the female mind, it's just not that simple. 2+2 doesn't always equal 4. They will want what they want whether it's good for them or not until they (possibly) wisen up later in life.

We've seen crazy story after crazy story on these forums, and anyone who thinks they represent only a small segment of the female population is out of their mind.
 Chrissi324
Joined: 4/28/2019
Msg: 194
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 5/9/2019 11:32:41 AM
Well he showed my photos to a friend of his too.
Well i dont do just sex at this stage so ye.
Next.
 wood_smell_as_sweet
Joined: 2/20/2019
Msg: 195
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cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 5/9/2019 12:05:13 PM
Remember this?


But there was something also i didn't talk about in the beginning of this thread.
Before i went on a first date with him, another guy approached me on the site, same age, same area, also single dad.

This guy, asked to talk on the phone where he asked me out before i go on holiday and we said to set up a day and a time, but i never heard from him after that.


Betting his friend is the same guy who contacted you.
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 5/9/2019 3:58:23 PM

Well he showed my photos to a friend of his too.


I'm not sure what relevance this has in the matter, but yes, I'm sure he did.


Well i dont do just sex at this stage so ye.


Yeah, me neither. I'm just too damn pure and romantic for my own good.

 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 197
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cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 5/9/2019 6:42:32 PM
Croydon girl
You are practically strangers and as others have said. but I wonder how far things went on that first date......

Whatever, never know what may happen on holiday and if you are still keen to contact him, give him a quick text to let him know when you are back but not until then....

Some men will make a lot of effort if they think sex is on the agenda but up to you to suss out his intentions when and if you meet again. Things do crop up and people need to cancel a date but a guy would only do that once to me.
 Chrissi324
Joined: 4/28/2019
Msg: 198
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 5/10/2019 5:55:46 AM
Well the latest stuff happened after i came back.
I created a new profile as you see with a diff name before we met for the second time, but exactly the same info as the previous one.
He snooped at that as i saw.
Also yesterday another guy, same age and location and single dad contacted me to say hello and i said hello back.
I saw i was blocked.
Dunno whats going on, but I texted him today, he seemed disengaged in conversation and io asked him for a beer next week and hasnt answered.
So i dunno whats happening here.
I wish people were more consistent
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 199
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History
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 5/11/2019 9:55:24 AM
You asked him for a beer and he didn't get back.

You aren't all that important to him. It is obvious.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 200
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History
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 5/11/2019 11:34:53 AM

Dunno whats going on, but I texted him today, he seemed disengaged in conversation and io asked him for a beer next week and hasnt answered.



So i dunno whats happening here.


What's happening here is ANOTHER woman is wasting her time and energy with ANOTHER man who is not worth it.

Same old story, different day.

Another smh moment.
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