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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > When an EX doesn't allow you to take your personal property      Home login  
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 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 26
When an EX doesn't allow you to take your personal propertyPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I think that it's only "stuff" and "stuff" can be replaced. People argue over petty stuff during a break up. Mostly, I think it's to hang on. My ex held our separation agreement up for months over one of my prize winning ferns. He wanted half of it, but there was no way I was going to separate it, in case it died. I know he would have said, I killed it on purpose. I told his sister she could separate it, she didn't want to do it either. She finally told him to go buy his own darn fern.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 27
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When an EX doesn't allow you to take your personal property
Posted: 5/3/2019 12:47:12 PM
People have to learn that they come to a point where they are better off cutting their losses and leave all that was in the past in the past.

Go to small claims or hire a voodoo doctor it doesn't matter you are still engaging and caught up in foolish drama. You may think your things have worth but you are paying an "emotional" price tag in the break up in the clinging on to what was his and what was yours as you were trying to build something together. Do you really need the "things" or is it the negative or any attention that you are getting trying to get the "things" back? . Sometimes it is best to let "things" go. They are just things your sanity and peace of mind is worth so much more.
 massguy70
Joined: 1/10/2017
Msg: 28
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When an EX doesn't allow you to take your personal property
Posted: 5/5/2019 2:03:20 PM
I know what you mean but I've never been in that situation so I guess I don't totally understand it from the other side. If I had furniture that I've had for awhile and it meant something to me, I'd want it back. The same goes for photos and special gifts that were given by family members that are no longer with us. It blows my mind that there is nothing that can be done. If the other person doesn't want to give the stuff back then tough luck. It's like legal theft.

Hopefully she doesn't have to experience this again but if she does, she'll know the right way to move out.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 29
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When an EX doesn't allow you to take your personal property
Posted: 5/5/2019 2:34:48 PM
While I feel sorry for someone who loses their stuff this way, I think people need to be smarter before they break up with someone, move out and hope to get their stuff back after. Pack your bags and move the furniture you want before dumping the person or moving out.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 30
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When an EX doesn't allow you to take your personal property
Posted: 5/5/2019 3:12:49 PM

I have a family member (early 20s) who recently broke up with her boyfriend. They were living together for a couple of years. She took some of her stuff when she left in the morning then went back to get the rest of it later in the afternoon.

If she was living there, she was a resident there, correct? I don't see how he owns all that stuff. "Oh, that dress. Yep, that's mine. I uhhh, like dressing up as a lady. Don't judge me!" I would have told the cop that I lived there for 2 years and "see? I get mail here", and asked the now ex to lie to the cop's face about x/y/z.

That might not matter because he said he's going to destroy and/or throw everything out.

In the end, she shouldn't have slept with that other guy. ;)
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 31
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When an EX doesn't allow you to take your personal property
Posted: 5/6/2019 10:37:18 AM

If she was living there, she was a resident there, correct? I don't see how he owns all that stuff. "Oh, that dress. Yep, that's mine. I uhhh, like dressing up as a lady. Don't judge me!" I would have told the cop that I lived there for 2 years and "see? I get mail here", and asked the now ex to lie to the cop's face about x/y/z.


It's really not about the clothes...that's personal stuff which is clearly different from furniture or pictures.
I "was a resident" for years...got my mail there, but my name was not on the deed and there was no proof my payments to him were for actual rent. It was the furniture and pictures hanging on the wall, and christmas ornaments and dishes and kitchen stuff that I wasn't able to get.

The cops don't really get too involved in dividing up the stuff unless they have a court order. Mostly they stay until you get your personal stuff out...after that you're on your own.

Best to buy new stuff, IMHO.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 32
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When an EX doesn't allow you to take your personal property
Posted: 5/6/2019 9:04:16 PM
Yeah, the problem is that a lot of the time the cops won't come unless there is a police-enforceable court order which can take weeks to get. By that time, your stuff could be long gone.

In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 33
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When an EX doesn't allow you to take your personal property
Posted: 5/13/2019 6:30:31 PM

I "was a resident" for years...got my mail there, but my name was not on the deed and there was no proof my payments to him were for actual rent.

I was referring to the OP... which may or may not be ~equal to your situation. But if you're a resident of said place, can they just kick you out any time they want, Instantly like that? I always figured you'd have 30 days if you Weren't on the deed or rental agreement -- but still, 30 days.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 34
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When an EX doesn't allow you to take your personal property
Posted: 5/13/2019 8:51:39 PM
That's if a woman has the guts to stand her ground. But if a guy really wants to kick you out, he has the physical power to do so and you don't want to fight him. Sure, you can phone the cops and say "help, my ex is kicking me out" and maybe that's what you should do but most women won't.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 35
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When an EX doesn't allow you to take your personal property
Posted: 5/14/2019 6:40:07 AM

I was referring to the OP... which may or may not be ~equal to your situation. But if you're a resident of said place, can they just kick you out any time they want, Instantly like that? I always figured you'd have 30 days if you Weren't on the deed or rental agreement -- but still, 30 days.


I'm not sure, but I don't think he could have kicked me out instantly...I think he would have had to evict me...which would be weird living in the same place. But at any rate, if it got to that...it would have been worse I think...trying to live there with an eviction going on.

He was making threats about not letting me have my stuff unless I paid him $10,000.00...which is why I just suddenly decided one day to move out the next.

It's been almost 8 months and he calls regularly to ask me to please come back.
Gads.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 36
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When an EX doesn't allow you to take your personal property
Posted: 5/14/2019 7:30:05 AM

Posted By: adventurejoe70 on 5/1/2019 230 PM
Subject: When an EX doesn't allow you to take your personal property
Message: The situation described above seems to have become a civil matter.


It's a legal matter baby!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npR2J4RSLlI
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