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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Pining over someone      Home login  
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 BendingBough19
Joined: 4/25/2019
Msg: 26
Pining over someonePage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
^^^ Bang on. Classic intermittent reinforcement at work.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 27
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Pining over someone
Posted: 5/8/2019 5:24:27 PM

Welcome back Ms. Karma and Ms. Bunnies!
It's old home week here in POF...Ms. Black Beauty is posting as well!


Agreed, pretty cool.

Back to Cinnamon. Girl, you need to really let go of the daydream of this guy. You were right to back off, but to dwell on him like you are doing actually increases your interest in him. Concentrate on the better things in your life or you risk passing up the good guys when he shows up.
 Lindatasy
Joined: 5/1/2019
Msg: 28
Pining over someone
Posted: 5/8/2019 8:46:42 PM
Thanks for the welcome back! Didn't think people would remember or recognize me. I tried to log in under my old name but it wouldn't let me do it. Either way, I think I've come a long ways, had a lot of stuff (good and bad) happen to me over the past few years, and I've actually enjoyed being totally single for a while, just focusing on myself, friends, kids, my dog, family, etc. I've pretty much come to accept that I'm likely going to be single for the rest of my life, but I'm still open for miracles, ha!
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 29
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Pining over someone
Posted: 5/8/2019 11:06:46 PM
That's good news. I believe in miracles.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 30
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Pining over someone
Posted: 5/9/2019 7:02:54 AM

just can't fathom mom's advice was wrong.


I knew it was wrong when she brought me a sweater with reindeer's on it and a bright red wool jacket, while I was in H.S.!
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 31
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Pining over someone
Posted: 5/9/2019 7:33:39 PM

Back to Cinnamon. Girl, you need to really let go of the daydream of this guy. You were right to back off, but to dwell on him like you are doing actually increases your interest in him. Concentrate on the better things in your life or you risk passing up the good guys when he shows up


Well, the object of my pining did contact me again on the dating site where we originally connected.
He asked me to text him. Told him I deleted his contact info, so he texted me. He told me about an NCAA award his son just won, and texted me a pic of his latest painting. I told him about my job offer, and that was that.

I am feeling better. Accepted a job offer today. Have a date with one guy Friday, and another Sat. Having great long phone calls with a third.
Feeling good about the messages I've been getting lately. Quality of men has definitely improved from what I was usually attracting.
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 32
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Pining over someone
Posted: 5/10/2019 8:11:11 AM


He is wealthy, and I REALLY WISH HE WASN'T


Good attitude, contrary to the usual trend. Should be easier to meet someone available with that sensible attitude.

The "do chores around the house" definitely sounded like a lack of interest. As you said to him, chores can be moved to different time. If he had said he scheduled that time with a visiting contractor and had to be at home, it would make sense.

Contacting you again sounds like a flake.

Didn't see the original post about him being rude to wait staff and customer service, but I agree with the comments about that being a dealbreaker. (Im)politeness to such people shows character or lack thereof.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 33
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Pining over someone
Posted: 5/10/2019 10:19:11 AM
^^^Wait are you saying that when she turned me down because she had to wash her hair it wasn't true? I am so confused!
 BendingBough19
Joined: 4/25/2019
Msg: 34
Pining over someone
Posted: 5/10/2019 6:11:02 PM
Cinnamon, congratulations on the job offer. I hope it turns into a really positive experience for you.

Re: him contacting you again, I am sorry but it seems like game-playing to me. You pull back and that makes him try to reel you back in - just my take on it. I am happy you have a weekend full of dates. I hope they help you put this "character" out of mind :-).
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 35
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Pining over someone
Posted: 5/10/2019 8:07:49 PM
I agree, it's game playing. I do know that he liked me, just not enough.

Date tonight with a new guy went well, no sparks, though. He had to call it an early night to take his daughter to a last minute sleep-over.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 36
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Pining over someone
Posted: 5/13/2019 9:16:03 PM

I agree, it's game playing. I do know that he liked me, just not enough.

It feels more like playing when we don't get what we want when we Really want them, and them not as much as we want them. It's easy to "chalk" it up like that. Imagine if you weren't that into him, but he was a nice guy and all. And that 2nd date was a convenience factor when you were in his town 150 miles away, but in the end, you were like "ehhh" about him, and also realizing that LD relationships don't work anyway. And neither of you were looking for anything serious and exploring the dating scene for the time being. But again, he's cool. OK. So he's really busy with tons of stuff going on, apologizes about some plans not quite working out as initially desired since you'd be coming all the way out there and with all the stuff he has going on. Is just is what it is.

Although with some people, they can Legitimately be really about the gal, but, at the end of the day, circumstances settle in, and, well, 150 miles? (wince) I'll assume he could have come across better about it after that 2nd date, but in the end, it's about him not being That into you. Which, to an otherwise great catch, I can easily see myself not being that into a gal who lives 150 miles away, where I otherwise would be (and it showed in the first couple dates, before reality set in).
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