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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?      Home login  
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 hotrod1970
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 76
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Tsk, and Men Get Harangued For Not Paying Attention!Page 4 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
(Isn't romance showing a person you want them, you like/love them? The dictionary says,
A love affair.
Ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people; love: They kept the romance alive in their marriage for 35 years.
A strong, sometimes short-lived attachment, fascination, or enthusiasm for something: a childhood romance with the sea.)

Ok Maybe I should correct My original post.. Maybe I should rephrase.. And correct That per say.. I (as in me) sont like to consider the thought of it as romanced..

How can you take A line out of the dictionary and call it romance,, Its like the dictionary defining it as Love. If your natural terms of endearing Your partner do not signal romance, then you have to take full considerations of who you are spending your time with,,

I would have to emphasize you cant buy romance ( ie candle lit dinners, Lingerie etc..) When you cant find it in your heart.. Somentimes its just the glance from the corner of the eye. or the giggle and a smile... Isnt the endearment found within??
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 77
Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/16/2006 2:39:22 PM
Sandy
Not only is it an attitude that only the men do the romancing. It's actualy worse.

If men could do the romancing and the women could accept being romanced then that would still be enough for MOST men. Not all!


BUT

Look at the generations you were raised in. It was called feminism but it was largely manhating. Sexism wasn't the enemy. Men were.


Mens romantic genstures were treated, and policed, as harrassment, stalking, and even rape. Women were conditioned to see them that way.
Men themselves were protrayed as sub human neanderatals who only needed the occasional dose of begruding sex. Even tolerating that sex, without caling it rape in marriage, was often seen as a some sort of sell out to the sisterhood.

As for the idea of actively romanicng a man. Well! That was just about high treason.

My rants, in this day and age may be seen as ridiculous but take a look back through the press clippings of the last 20 years. The man hating was taken very seriously indeed, and not just by the few militant loonys that preached it. By the whole of society.



In the
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 78
Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/16/2006 2:45:15 PM
Men have gone to war for romance -- think Helen of Troy who's face launched a thousand ships.
=================================
Actually friend, you are mistaken. Helen is the stuff of romance novels. Most moden historinans agree that Troy wasn't the stuff of legend like Atlantis. It was destroyed. But they are prretty sure that the war was actually over control of the spice trade in the Eastern Meditiranian.
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 79
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Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/16/2006 5:38:56 PM
Don't need the beer. Don't need the remote. Just being present and in the buff is more than sufficient.
 Lynsteph74
Joined: 12/1/2005
Msg: 80
Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/16/2006 6:43:20 PM
I once "kidnapped" him, blindfolded him with his tie (he was happy, HAPPY, not to have to wear it, LOL) drove him across town to a fancy restaraunt we had both been wanting to try, drove him back across town (blindfolded again) to have his-n-hers professional massages, and then on (yep, blindfolded!) to the place where we first met, where I proceeded to smooch the daylights out of him........

I have done other things, but this was the most romantic, I think.

In my experience, it is the often MEN who arent overly romantic, some think that romance means, "Honey, lets go to bed". LOL........I dont think romance has a hold on either gender in particular, though, just that some of us are better at thinking up and expressing those things......

If a man brings me flowers,etc, because this is what he thinks guys "should" do (either in general, or to get out of "trouble" etc), then it is very sweet, and I am appreciative, but romantic?- nah.....But if a guy does not usually bring flowers, and then suddenly out of the blue gets me my favorite ones, just for because, THAT is romantic. If he goes out of his way to do something sweet for me, that is not something he would normally think of or do in his everyday existence, were it NOT for me-whether it is to pick me up a cappucino on the way over, rub my shoulders without expecting repayment, or buy me a dozen Peace roses, or whatEVER, then I am very moved and usually quite appreciative.
 TheLadyOfTheLake
Joined: 2/5/2005
Msg: 81
Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/16/2006 9:26:23 PM
Boy!

When I began this thread I thought the women would actually understand more of what I was talking about, and the men wouldn't get it at all. Boy was "I" WRONG! The guys here seem to really understand what I'm saying, but most of the gals' comments have been kinda boring. I KNOW that men appreciate romantic and thoughtful things just as we do, and some even more .... but most of the gals here seem to think that giving up the remote control, buying a card at Hallmark once in a while, or making a dinner occasionally equates to "romance". When did the girls forget that a little seduction goes a loooooong way? Or don't they know that? Do you wear things "he" likes? (Beautiful lingerie and great perfumes have always been two of my personal "must have" indulgences .... and I've not heard any complaints!) Or what about giving him a present, for no reason at all, that grants him a day of you being his "slave for a day" ...... just for the fun of it! Imagine the possibilities! How often do you serve him breakfast in bed, having made his favorite morning foods, and served it wearing something ....... ummmmm ........ pretty ....... or maybe nothing at all? And what about some strawberries and champagne waiting next to the scented jacuzzi tub for two, all ready for the occasion ....... get him in the tub first and do a sensuous dance while you slowly undress to join him! You'll both appreciate the results! Maybe just giving him a fabulous massage after a particularly hard day at work, or having a glass of his favorite wine waiting for him, and some great music on with the fire going when he gets home would be a start. Gals GET YOUR THINKING CAPS ON ...... these poor guys shouldn't have to do ALL the work!

And to me, romance is more than just occasional flowers or notes .... it's a "lifestyle".

Guys? Am I wrong, or are you getting the short end of the stick? What do YOU think?

Sandy!
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 82
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Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/17/2006 2:17:36 AM
I feel it's not the giving of things (cards, flower, notes), it's the giving of yourself. It's not doing things for the man (cooking dinner, an elaborate display of candles and lingerie ), it's doing things to the man (caresses, massages, being playful).
 TheLadyOfTheLake
Joined: 2/5/2005
Msg: 83
Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/17/2006 9:57:07 AM
Wow, you girls missed the point completely!

My last post was all about thing we could do FOR OUR MEN, not receive FROM them. No wonder these poor guys haven't had the opportunity to know what it's like to be romanced by a woman ....... the gals here either don't seem to know how to do it, or haven't the inclination. How sad :(

Guys??? Any comments??? Or am I wrong in assuming that you'd like to experience some of the things I put in my last post, and that you'd appreciate some reciprocity on what we gals think is "romance"?

I'm open to suggestions ......

Sandy!
 niteowl133
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 84
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Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/17/2006 8:15:38 PM
From "looking: at your profile shiloh , I believe that you have a pretty good handle on starting the bedroom romance, although romance is more than the bedroom!

I am amazed how many women think just undressing and climbing in bed waiting for their man to start things is as far as they will go.

I think lookdeeper has a handle on the broader picture.. To get up at 5:30 and fix breakfast for her man before he goes fishing with his buddies WOW!! That is truly a loving sign.

I am amazed in general the wide variety of comments to this thread especially from the youngsters-- Many of you are still too shy and some worried too muich about what he will think.

Remember "people do things for their reasons--not ours" and yes if you get off on doing these nice things for him it is because YOU WANT TO and not that you feel like you HAVE TO.
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 85
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Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/20/2006 6:41:19 AM

But remember the fastest way to a man's Heart is through his stomach....

That's it! If men only gave a bit away as to what's 'ticking' them in romantic sense of course, surely the candles would magically appear
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 86
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Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/20/2006 11:38:22 AM

He looks like a whale in vertical position!

I better be careful about the 'vertical expression of a horizontal desire' but one of its interpretation is dancing too, and it could be kind of a way to romance a man ... depending on rythm I suppose
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 87
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Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/20/2006 12:20:25 PM

(Msg 274) How does anyone romance anyone else...it can't all have to do with sex appeal...because not all of us look good in a thong.


Don't worry, Seraphim333. Undergarments are highly overrated. After half a century of living I have yet to experience a naked woman that did not turn me on. Not that I've experienced a lot of naked women, of course.
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 88
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Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/20/2006 12:55:21 PM

This was like from a women's magazine

... and until stories hit the glossy women magazines ... there just has to be a plot and a twist or two .
Ahhh ... and isn't the best bit to romance a man to start with or vice versa?
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 89
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Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/20/2006 1:11:08 PM
What's romance?
 arri
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 90
Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/20/2006 1:33:08 PM
Romance is like having sex without intercourse.

It's pampering and being pampered .. and feeling really good about doing it.
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 91
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Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/20/2006 1:36:15 PM

Romance is like having sex without intercourse.

It's pampering and being pampered .. and feeling really good about doing it.


And people do this?



Something not very practical, a way to fool other party to act equally silly way


Sounds like a more reasonable explanation.
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 92
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Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/20/2006 1:43:15 PM
How about just straight honesty and acting ad hoc? E.g. firm grip of the guy's ears, a smack on his lips and so on?

Hey, you ?! We are straight honest here and nothing is coming out of it . Romance is like sprinkling the cake with icing. Just that shiny sweetest of sweet topping one wants to return to and get another mouthful. You have to feel kind of fool, light headed with an everlasting glowing/perspiring smile ... to do things that qualify for 'honeymoon' where romance plays 'forte'
 arri
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 93
Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/20/2006 1:43:41 PM
And people do this?


I am guessing you haven't had a nice free massage lately.

There are way too many what can you do for me chicks out there. A successful relationship is usually about what can we do for each other.
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 94
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Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/20/2006 1:52:29 PM

I am guessing you haven't had a nice free massage lately.

Only freee massage I have ever received was when I was still playing football. Even then, I earned that.

I have had a couple of women I dated offer, but I turned them down because they were only looking for something in return. I'd rather not receive than be in a position where something was expected in return.
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 95
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Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/20/2006 2:10:18 PM
^^^^^
May I join your jungle please? I too like keeping one on toes and
all the worlds it opens
 BlackPhoenix
Joined: 5/10/2005
Msg: 96
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Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/20/2006 2:19:20 PM
I found that about 80% of the women carry alot of past negative issues (of men) and insecurities into their new relationships. They look for men to do alot of work. We've all heard the statments:

"I just got out of a bad relationship so I want to take things slow. I have a hard time with trust, romance and compliments."
When it should be...
"I'm NOT going to make myself accessible to other men 'UNTIL I GET MY ISSUES WORKED OUT'. No one should have to DEAL WITH or SUFFER with my PAST BAGADGE and ISSUES because its NOT their PROBLEM or FAULT."

"I want my man to take care of me."
When a it should be...
"How can 'WE' take care of EACHOTHER."

"If I have a man, he must accept my kids."
When it should be..
"I only need a man for me, and 'NOT' my kids...They already have a 'FATHER/DAD'."

"My man isn't romantic enough."
When it should be...
"How can 'WE' be more romantic for EACHOTHER."

So-on and so-on...

These things being said...It has made a turnout of many women extremely self-centered and selfish. No man wants to put up with this kind of bagadge. WOMAN have to understand and come to terms that the RELATIONSHIP is NOT about them only...Its about the MAN and the WOMAN together as one unit that makes ROMANCE possible. Give and it will be given on to you. IF YOU DON"T GIVE, WELL THEN DON"T COMPLAIN about the ROMANCE your not recieving from your man. Simply think outside of the box and outside yourself, and find ways of asking yourself:

"What can I do to make the ROMANCE spark in my RELATIONSHIP?"
Instead of...
"Why does MY MAN never show me enough effection and ROMANCE?"

No MAN or WOMAN feels SEXUALLY or ROMANTICALLY attracted to the other when one is COMPLAINING and ****ING.

I hope this gives some of these opinions give some insight.
 BlackPhoenix
Joined: 5/10/2005
Msg: 97
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Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/20/2006 4:58:22 PM
I have got to agree with ya there brother...I dated a girl for a while whose mind was so shallow that she thought that the only way to turn me on sexually was just simply to take off her close and ****. It was pathetic.

Its funny how we live in a society where woman believe that they a so hot that they try to use it (Body), as a control type of mechanism.
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 98
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Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/20/2006 5:59:31 PM

ultimately, getting naked....how you get there seems to be the 'romantic' part.....


LOL, bugg ... that does seem to be what most of the "ideas" allude to.

But going by Arri's definition, I would find the following romantic:

- Providing me with plenty of "me" time (easy to reciprocate)
- Buy me a case of beer and I'll share (easy to reciprocate)
- Don't talk to me while the game's on (easy to reciprocate)
- Cut my grass ... OK, I won't reciprocate that one, but it would be very romantic
 TheLadyOfTheLake
Joined: 2/5/2005
Msg: 99
Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/20/2006 11:44:54 PM
Heya Floridian!

Don't give up ...... (smile) ...... I know that there are some very cool guys out there that definitely do appreciate romantic gestures and remembrances to let them know how VERY SPECIAL they are to us!! Scotty's post above ^^^ is living proof of that (grin ... THANK YOU Scotty!). It's just a matter of FINDING them, and then KEEPING THEM HAPPY with these small, fun, things we like to do. Isn't that why we're all here fishin' in this pond? To find someone who would enjoy sharing a little "romance"? Giving (to me anyway) grants me SO much more pleasure than receiving, no matter what type of "gift" it is (especially when it comes to romance) ...... and when I get that special look, sweet little smile, gentle kiss, tender touch or soft word in return, that's about as good as it gets ..... 'cause I know then that I've done something that has pleased him, and that one small gesture of "thanks" in return can put me on top of the world :)

For those of you who seem to think that romance is all "just about sex", I've gotta say that I think you're wrong ..... to me, it's about loving and giving and sharing and caring and consideration and respect and a whole bunch of other adjectives and nouns and verbs that I won't list here. But I do think sex is a big part of it, and one that should never be underestimated in the art of romance ...... so it seems to be a package deal, like a wonderful "gift", with the winner (hopefully both people) getting to undo the layers of wrappings and find the true treasure that resides inside each one of us! Now THAT is romantic! For the poster that said he thinks women only use sex and/or seduction as a means of control and manipulation, I feel sad, as he's obviously never been the recipient of an honestly intended, heartfelt romantic or sensual gesture given purely out of the desire to do so. I don't think 1000 books could begin to cover the many ways we gals could find to "romance our man" ..... all we have to do is want to do it, and to keep on trying.

It's all about give 'n take folks ...... relationships just don't work if one doesn't equal the other, and if romance doesn't work BOTH WAYS.

Sandy!
(Who's glad she started this thread ages ago ...... there sure area lot of opinions on this subject out there!)
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 100
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Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man?
Posted: 11/21/2006 3:01:11 AM

(Msg 305) our society has some sort of crazy idea that women need to play hard to get. Frig that. I'm tired of stupid games.


WOW! Herselftheelf is one super lady! Women such as yourself should be writing relationship books instead of the garbage on the market today.
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