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 Qamila
Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 884
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?Page 38 of 40    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40)
I can't cheat on a person I'm with at all, even if I love him or not. For me, it does not depend on how I feel about the person. It's just something I don't believe in and I won't do no matter what or who.
 AVI8TRIX007
Joined: 10/26/2008
Msg: 885
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/7/2008 12:09:41 PM
If I were in love and NOT in an exclusive/committed relationship with this person I was in love with-it would not be cheating for me. However, if I was definitely in a relationship with someone, intimacy with anyone else would be infidelity.
 ichi-bon
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 886
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/7/2008 3:36:10 PM
Eagles,
If you check my post , you will see that I was responding to a quote above my statement's from SOMEONE ELSE........ about other's need's not being met. The reply was below that and that was MINE. I don't believe there is ANY reason for CHEATING!!
I have still not learned how to copy and paste in a box.............but the top part of my post is a quote from someone else........


Could someone explain to this relatively computer illiterate how to put someone else's quote in a box...so that my post doesn't get mistaken again..PLEASE !!
 harleybabe2003
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 887
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/7/2008 4:15:47 PM
NEVER!!if you really are inlove that is. there are 2 kinds of love ,you can love someone and cheat. But if you in REALLY inlove ???? you wouldnt even think twice about.
 Ron1025
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 888
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/7/2008 4:38:14 PM
if you love a person cheating on them confirms your unconditional stupidity...or total narciscism
 *~Shar~*
Joined: 11/1/2008
Msg: 889
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/8/2008 5:44:09 AM
In response to Ron 1025:

You would know about that wouldn't you?
Ask half the women out here
 compleat_man
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 890
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/8/2008 8:03:55 AM
I think that cheaters are only "in love" with ONE person..THEMSELVES..

and will do whatever they want, to get whatever they feel like at the moment, and lie, etc. to get it
 ripley65
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 892
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/8/2008 8:29:29 AM
If you are truely in love..... No.
 compleat_man
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 894
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/8/2008 11:15:24 AM

Humans are incredibly complex, so I think it IS possible,


AND "incredibly" good at rationalizing and "justifying" their petty, greedy behavior, as being "OK"..
 suzyq99
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 896
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/13/2008 7:52:54 AM
I say absolutely not!! And I still don't understand the people who try and justify it!!
 shawnmj
Joined: 11/8/2008
Msg: 897
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/13/2008 8:05:03 AM
As many other people said "You are either a cheater or not a cheater".

It is a mentality. Due to my own morals, I would NEVER cheat.
If you are the type of person who has weak enough morals to cheat, then you have the potential to do it on anyone no matter how much you love them.
 Woodpekker
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 898
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/13/2008 8:38:12 AM
this is by far the most....obvious no brainer... I think I EVER EVER heard...

What kinda of a person would NOT know the answer to this?
WOW is morals so far out of wack ....?

If you was truly in love with their money.... I would guess so ...
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 900
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/13/2008 9:38:49 AM
Genuine love is all encompassing, fulfilling and combines respect for the self and the other, in a complete surrender. How could one with love compromise themselves and their SO by seeking intimacy outside the relatonship??

Doing so is an indication of problems in the relationship (and an absence of love as described above), unless the person is a totally self centered, egotistical narcicist, then it is just a problem with them, and the other should abort.
 Bablynbrook
Joined: 11/18/2008
Msg: 906
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/15/2008 12:59:57 PM
If you are truely in love with someone than you would always want to protect them. You wouldn't want anything to hurt them. Obviously cheating is one of the most hurtful, selfish things that a person could do. This is not quantum physics. If you are selfish enough to cheat than you don't really love the person you are with, whether you admit it to yourself or not.
 anchors
Joined: 12/4/2008
Msg: 909
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 12/19/2008 2:14:05 PM
That's not true love to begin with if you cheat on someone. That's just plain wrong.
 Ensomcrescendo
Joined: 1/19/2009
Msg: 913
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 3/7/2009 12:34:15 PM
Fidelity and love are too separate things. Infidelity is a hurtful act, so loving someone can help resist the temptation to cheat. I respectfully disagree, also, that "you cannot love someone without trusting them." Love generally does not work that way. The funny thing about love is that it happens when you least expect it - even if the object of your affections is a cheat. Sometimes the only thing you can do when you find yourself falling for someone who is ultimately bad for you, is to completely cut contact with that person before you become overwhelmed by the desire to be with him or her.

On the other hand, an act of infidelity requires the premise of an express (implied, in some cases) covenant between too people. Cheating on someone means breaking a convenant with that person- which is a dishonorable act. It is respect that keeps us from dishonoring another person. Thus, it might be more appropriate to say that you can't cheat on someone you fully respect and honor. Similarly, a self-respecting person will not allow his or herself to stay in a relationship with someone who is unfaithful.
 freesoulck
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 914
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 3/7/2009 4:19:27 PM
I am not sure. We are all liars in a sense, more or less. We may have genetic proof that the cheaters actually prevail in the long run. I am not saying honest people are at a risk of extinction. But historically cheating people has been in a great advantage. Cheating, yes, you can do it for a while, maybe a long while. But to keep it for the whole life is not easy. It will backfire in one way or another. The judge is yours.
 ZenBeth
Joined: 2/23/2009
Msg: 915
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 3/7/2009 4:33:57 PM
The dictionary defines cheat/cheating as deceit, fraud ,dishonesty, deception. If someone realllllllly loves someone they also respect them enough to not want to hurt them. Cheating is different than having an open marriage where there are no secrets.
 jtwaters
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 916
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 3/7/2009 4:37:01 PM
"Truly in love" and a cheater...wow...thats absolute nonsense. I'm not starting a religious topic here; however, for example....that's like stating I'm going to knowingly sin for the rest of my life fully aware that I'm going to heaven. It just doesn't work that way.
 Confident247
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 917
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 3/7/2009 4:46:02 PM
I wouldn't cheat on someone that i love nor someone that i despise if i'm in a relationship i'm 100% faithful no matter what happens.
 mynamesnotjesus
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 918
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 3/7/2009 5:15:41 PM

Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?

Depends on what kind of love you are thinking about, and how you define cheat. I don't know why I put "you" in there as this is an old post.

Theoretically and ideally:
I always thought love was a depth of emotion entailing familiarity, truth, knowledge, trust, and acceptance.
Therefore you know if they are going to sleep with someone else and why through knowing their behavior and patterns or they flat out tell you because they trust you and are communicative. And if you truly "love" them can they cheat? Doesn't "love" mean accepting someone flaws and all, rather than physical ownership rights and guarantees of behavior?

I say things like this and people come back with things like "that's giving them permission to cheat, to sleep around, what about STD'S!" and similar stupid things.

People that "cheat" aren't nameless strangers you just happen to one day "decide" to love, even though it seems like that when the concept is posted on internet forums. They are real people you've had a relationship and enough time with to know deeply...if you were paying attention, using the time wisely, and communicating (talking & listening).

People select who they fall in love with. It's called dating. It's a slow selection and weeding out process. You read things (on forums, books, chat rooms), or hear from people about "falling for someone that wasn't my type or I ever considered dating," which is generally horse crap. People put themselves in familiar, and generally repetitive surroundings, and situations that fulfill ideas of their self image. This is still "weeding out" of certain people. You aren't weeding out individuals but general types.

Most people don't consciously select drooling, fiendish, sex maniacs to form long term relationships with. So most people (that cheat) aren't going to be actively and constantly looking to "cheat." If they were (drooling fiendish sex maniacs constantly looking to "cheat") would you really have gotten so far in the relationship to "love" them? I highly doubt it.

In other words there are deeper issues than "once a cheat, always a cheat" or that "cheating" defines a type of person or guy. So accepting someones flaws (cheating and all) seems pretty standard to the definition of "true love." And accepting someone means their "cheating" is more a component to their personality than a reflection on you as a person. Thereby acceptance is not permission or incentive for them to "cheat," but an understanding of why, for that individual.

If you "truly" love a person and they "truly" love you then STD's aren't really a scare as you trust they are concerned about their own health and considerate of yours to be safe. And if you "love" them and they "love" you then they KNOW how important avoidance of STD's are.

So my opinion is I cannot cheat on someone I truly love (and they truly love me) as it is a null, meaningless, concept within my definitions of love. It's comparing apples to oranges.

I, theoretically and morally defensibly, can have sex with another person while still truly in love (both people in the love relationship) as it entails her knowledge (if not cooperation, permission, and participation).

This does not mean I definitely will as we will have an established relationship and I will KNOW her and what effects my behavior will have on her and how best to be considerate of her feelings. And, theoretically, she will be considerate of my own.
 Gypsy~Road
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 919
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 3/8/2009 9:31:57 AM
Love to me equals trust..if the relationship is a healthy one,cheating is not an issue for me.If the relationship turns toxic..then anybody would be up to the possibility.It's simple..if you are wanting another...be kind and end the relationship you're in before you pursue that other.I have been cheated on...and it hurts like hell. I have also cheated and felt like trash...it is a sharp blade on either side.
 vrb1955
Joined: 3/26/2006
Msg: 920
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 3/8/2009 9:35:49 AM
Nopoe .. I am the one they cheat on .
 GentleSoul009
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 922
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 3/8/2009 1:10:22 PM
This is to ask "Can you be truely in love with someone you have no respect for?"
If anyone asnwers yes then the words "truely" and "love" lose their meanings for me.

I can't cheat when in a relationship-- it's as much about self respect as respect for others. It'd feel dishonoring myself if I dishonored the person I choose to be in intimate relation with.

To the above Poster:
If it is an open relationship /without commitment, then it is not cheating to have sex without someone else- assuming you'd have nothing to hide from each other.
 MikeM1968
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 925
Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with?
Posted: 3/8/2009 5:46:36 PM
But you can be in love and in a committed relationship with someone who is not 100% your ideal too. So therein lies the rub.

Just because you've seen and/or become acquainted with women / men all your life that were what YOU wanted didn't always mean they wanted you. Many feel they still have that one type that they just need to experience, even if only sexually. Many would seize upon an opportunity if it presented itself regardless of their emotional attachment to another.

I'm just playing devils advocate here. To me - it's still cheating.

I have to put the *blinders* on when I'm in a commitment with someone and I can only hope she does the same. The old *foresaking all others* that's in those wedding vows applies.

Mike
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