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 HumanBean
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 30
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them differentPage 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
It's tough to get through life without getting any scars, be they internal or on the surface. You're a survivor, shimmer, and so are many others here...you've lived through some horrible treatment and are able to stand up and move on. I call that miraculous...I call that powerful.

I am often amazed to see what some people have gone through that are here sharing themselves; the nightmares some have lived, and yet each one of you are still willing to reach out and connect with people somehow. It impresses me to no end, and the strength of your spirit is to be applauded.

Your scars are a sign that no matter what hell you've endured, you are still alive...still healing, still growing, and still living and still willing to press onward with life. There's nothing there that's going to make me or any good-hearted person look at you any differently or negatively. I can understand why you'd feel uncomfortable with them, but I know with time that uncomfortableness will fade....you and many of the others here are survivors, and very worthy of even better things in life that are still ahead. You'll find that confidence again....of this I am certain.
 skylab
Joined: 12/11/2004
Msg: 31
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/21/2005 8:34:03 PM
********************************************************************************************************************************************


Shimmerfree,
I haven't read all of the replies, but here are some things for you to work on understanding-- I mean *really* understanding, okay?

1) Those scars are now part of who you are. They tell a story about some very difficult times in your life. Your companion should understand that, and provide succor to you on overcoming your self-conciousness about them;
2) If a man has problems accepting those scars as part of you, now, what do you think he is going to do if you were ever disfigured in an accident, or got cancer?

Any man that can't accept those scars (and others) isn't worth your time.
And, you, dear lady, need to know that you are beautiful and precious to the right kind of man, and you need to carry yourself with pride, and be more selective in your choice of companions.

I hope your ex- went to jail for that...otherwise, his safety might be in jeopardy, knowing some of the other, decent men on this site.

-Derek
"...live your life so that others are glad that you lived..."
 T_REXX
Joined: 8/20/2005
Msg: 32
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/21/2005 9:07:12 PM
Anger management therapy?


ladydi8

Joined: 1/31/2005
Msg: 51
view profile

If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/21/2005 9:05:33 PM
"Women with extreme abuse histories can not interact with men on a possitive basis."

wtf? sounds like someones been eatin fungus from tha cowpies again.....
 ladydi8
Joined: 1/31/2005
Msg: 33
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/21/2005 9:09:19 PM
yeah darlin, tha lil laughin smiley face is what gave it away, eh?

come down to tha swamplands an we can discuss my anger in person
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 34
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/21/2005 9:09:55 PM
trex "Women with extreme abuse histories can not interact with men on a possitive basis." And you know this because?? Well gosh darn. Maybe you should email this gem of wisdom to the 300 plus men who have written me in the last 3 weeks. I'm only single by MY choice, I've had several marriage proposals in the years that I've been widowed and I turned them all down. I have high standards and not every man who wants to date me or go out with me is necessarily right for me. I know what I want and I won't settle. I have no need for psychiatric help, never have, but if I did I wouldn't hesitate to seek it. What makes you think you're qualified or even knowledgeable enough to give me unsolicited advice or direction? If you want to PAY for me to go see a shrink and take all the tests I'll glady do so, just to satisfy you that you couldn't be more wrong. This is a public forum and anyone can post whatever they wish to within the established rules. You may want to read the forum rules and if you don't understand them I'm sure the mods will help explain them.
edit You know there was a former poster who quoted in the exact same manner. ladydi you got mail, baby!
 urban312
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 35
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/21/2005 9:38:48 PM
Don't sweat it sweetie. You are very attractive.

Most of the women on these online sites are overweight. You look much better than the overweight women, and than many of those who are in shape.

I'm not perfect, and none of us are.

I'm sorry you had to endure the pain that you did. I'll bet the scars aren't as bad as they seem.

I'm not that tolerant of obesity. Many obese people are their own worst enemy.

You can't help what happened to you. You've suffered. Here's hoping someone can make you forget about all the suffering.

You have a very nice shape. Don't let those "marks" make you lose your confidence. If a man enjoys your nice shape, and pleasant personality, you should just enjoy that man!

Best of luck.
 HumanBean
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 36
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/21/2005 9:45:07 PM
Excuse me, Mr. TRexx....

Would you care to share what statistics, experience, education, or documentation you base this little gem upon, sir?


Women with extreme abuse histories can not interact with men on a possitive basis.


I ask because my own education, research, and personal experiences tell me the exact opposite.

Btw....here's a little suggestion....how's about taking your unsolicited/unprovoked personal attacks out of a forum that has nothing to do with your personal issues with someone else?

It's called showing a little decency....sir.
 FRED_SAID
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 38
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/21/2005 11:10:24 PM
Maybe the should have a special forum for women who have suffered violent crimes and abuse?

Rape,incest spousal abuse etc.

Seems like a better idea than dating experiences.

Fred
 s_a_b_r_e
Joined: 8/14/2005
Msg: 40
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/21/2005 11:26:00 PM
I agree with Fred as they should have a forum for abuse discussions.

Brett Sabre


FRED_SAID

Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 64
view profile

If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/21/2005 1124 PM
Maybe the should have a special forum for women who have suffered violent crimes and abuse?

Rape,incest spousal abuse etc.

Seems like a better idea than dating experiences.

Fred
 skylab
Joined: 12/11/2004
Msg: 42
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/22/2005 12:04:27 AM
[Don't do the "***.." thing. /xander]

So, T REXX said:

"I am not here to cousel and console your pathetic issue laden life .
Unlike some others on here.
This is not anger.
Wait till you piss me off.
The fun starts then.
Oh and as for the other peanut gallery comments...take a hike.
Bring it on,I will bury your a s s."

Uhmmm, so, dude, why are you *here*?
There are lots of boards out there just for flame practice, so what gives?

If this particular thread doesn't interest you, what is your intent?
To poke some people where they hurt?
To pick on some women?
Come on Russ, tell us what you are thinking?

So, what do you do In Real Life for kicks?
Kick dogs?
Maybe smack your girl around (figuratively, or even actually, maybe)?
Light street bums on fire?
What?

I think Russ is really a lonely and scared little boy, hiding in a man's body.
Being a pretty man, he probably has had most of the good things in life handed to him, and some recent event (maybe his girl left him, perhaps a friend has betrayed him, maybe he was down-sized from a really cool job) has challenged the easy life for Russ.

I don't know what it was, but cheer up, Bucko, you will get through your current trials, and if you can retain a scrap of humanity while doing so, maybe you will actually like who you see in the mirror some day.

There must be some decency in your core, or you wouldn't be here in this forum--you could be down at the bars, picking up chicks...
 ladydi8
Joined: 1/31/2005
Msg: 45
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/22/2005 6:41:32 AM
[Now, now. Let's not air other's dirty laundry. /xander]

tha scars that show on a person will tell you they have been thru something...but how they handle others seein those scars reveal thier emotional maturity......
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 46
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/22/2005 7:24:54 AM
shimmer edit you got mail!
 HumanBean
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 47
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/22/2005 10:30:23 AM
Hmmm....right.


This is not anger.

Wait till you piss me off.

The fun starts then.


No, that's not anger....that's pig-headed arrogance....dinosaur.
 100%SWEET
Joined: 7/18/2005
Msg: 48
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/22/2005 12:29:59 PM
Just thought I would give my two cents in this thread because I have dated women with scars that have expressed their insecurities to me at some point in the relashionship. This is what I tell them and sometimes it does make them feel a bit better and sometimes I can't tell; If you look really close, under my nose, there is a line there that looks like there was a straight edge razor taken to it. I have been told a couple diffrent stories of how I got it when I was a child, but I don't remember anyhow, so I don't sweat it! But the thing of it is, I have gone through my whole life since I was two or three years old with that scar. MAybe you can't see it clear now because of the goatee but it's there. Another one you can see is above my right eye from a bar brawl. Others I have on my arm from it going through glass and my knee from a moped accident. The point is, we all have had scars at some point in our life. Noone needs to be with anyone that judges them for their looks anyhow. These tools that make comments on how others should act and feel have never had to deal with the same situation as you Shimmer. Hypocrites..whatever you wanna title them are not worth your feedback. When you see them starring at you, the best thing to do is
 kce33
Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 50
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/22/2005 3:58:58 PM
well i have 2 scars..

one is a 9 inch scar across the bottom of my throat from complete removal of both thyroid glands 1 year ago on aug. 3rd, now you really have to look hard to see it..

then i have a 7 inch scar on my lower spine from removal of ruptured disks in
l-3
l-4
and l-5
done 4 years ago...

my ex wife was a beauty queen 2 years in a row with a skin graft scar on her right tight and left hand.. the one on her tight was probley 5 inches around

for me after i got used to seeing it , i never paid any more attention to it..

kce33
 Mean Jeanne
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 51
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/23/2005 9:12:47 AM
I agree....scars are sexy!
 100%SWEET
Joined: 7/18/2005
Msg: 53
 Dog Mommy
Joined: 7/11/2005
Msg: 54
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 9/22/2005 7:45:44 AM
I have a scar on the front of my neck from surgery...when someone notices, I tell them about the incident in the dark alley
 100%SWEET
Joined: 7/18/2005
Msg: 55
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 9/24/2005 2:31:11 PM
I said I was sorry...geez..
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 56
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 9/24/2005 2:49:43 PM
Shimmer...I can understand how you feel, though my scar is from surgery. But it sounds as though it may bother you also, and not just because a man might see it. I can relate to that as well. No, having a scar shouldn't bother someone else, if they care about you, but unfortunately it does bother some of them...and those are the types you don't want. But it's possible that your worry about it can be affecting how you act, or placing more importance on it that he might otherwise have. There are a number of remedies to help with scarring, so if you haven't looked into it, you may want to and see if there's anything that would help.

If you go to http://www.scar-treatment-review.com/ and http://www.makemeheal.com/mmh/product/scar_reduction/index.vm?procid=42 there's some information that might help.

Best of luck to you. You're a beautiful woman, and it sounds like that beauty is on the inside as well as the outside.
 BarnBabe
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 57
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 9/24/2005 8:55:30 PM
I've got a scar on my chin, chest, right hand (three dots and a line), and right leg. Each one has a story and I wouldn't get rid of any of them.

Of course if a person is rude enough to come right out and ask without even knowing me, they may get a slightly elaborated story lol
 DacaInaru
Joined: 8/18/2005
Msg: 58
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 9/24/2005 9:02:47 PM
be proud of who you are.. heck talk about scars. I have a number of scars.. i have a csection scar.. i have my appendix scar.. and I have a scar from sugery to my stomach the scar runs down the middle of my chest to almost my belly buton.. on top of that.. i have a scar on my lower back from the removal of a tumor.. and tons of strech marks and hanging skin.. would I go out in a bikini.. no.. is it due to the way I look no..I just don't like to wander around 1/2 dressed.. but i'm am who i am.. and don't have issues with my scars or my body..

just remember you are who you are.. scars and all be proud its all good.. :)
 BarnBabe
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 59
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 9/24/2005 9:10:50 PM
High five Dacainaru!
 thebomb1971
Joined: 6/22/2005
Msg: 60
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 9/24/2005 9:18:16 PM
You are gorgeous! Scars just add personality. I sure wouldn't mind any marks.
 smith2267
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 61
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/14/2005 6:49:44 AM
I could absolutely care less about scars.
In fact, if a woman is not self conscious about them, that shows self confidence--and self confidence is attractive.
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