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 smith2267
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 62
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them differentPage 3 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
>>Of course if a person is rude enough to come right out and ask without even knowing me, they may get a slightly elaborated story

I ask, but not total strangers.
 smith2267
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 63
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/14/2005 7:06:14 AM
>>Personally I don't have a problem with girls with scar or marks as long as they are not right on their face.

I don't even care about that. I mean, if her entire face is affected, like mel gibson in that movie where he was burned--that might be a problem for me.
But an ordinary scar on her face? Nope, wouldn't bother me.
 kinda!
Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 64
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/14/2005 7:16:34 AM
i would hope that a guy that really cares 4 me dates me and accepts all of me including my old battle scars(strech marks),nicks,cuts, and bruises, crude spelling, occasional "ocd", giggle fits, pouting at times, and so on if not i suggest he dates that super intelligent super perfect super model next door to; mr.perfect,mr.too hot for his own good, ms. rich-perfectionist.

i


soja mas
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 65
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If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/14/2005 8:45:27 AM
Shim, I for am not one to judge someone on things such a scar or something like that since I don't care for being judged just because I'm big. You are who you are and I might add, you look great, and any guy worth having would not judge you in any way, shape or form. You just be true to yourself and the right guy will come along and love you...as is!
 smith2267
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 66
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/14/2005 8:50:26 AM
OTOH, the guys who are sexually aroused by scars worry me
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 67
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/14/2005 3:15:37 PM
blauknight I can only speak for myself, but I would not allow that to affect my view of men or my ability to trust and love them and let them love me again. I have had several relationships that didn't work out, not trust issues and nothing to do with violence. That was one man that did that, not all men are the same and why would I deny myself the ability or the chance to find love again? I dealt with my trauma with the support and love of my children and friends and parents. I did not date during that time until I could honestly feel that I was recovered emotionally and whole enough to be able to give and receive love again. I wouldn't have expected or asked a man to have helped me deal with that, we're all worthy of having someone who's emotionally healthy to start fresh.
 good2bebad
Joined: 9/28/2005
Msg: 68
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/14/2005 4:44:24 PM
I have been battling skin problems for several yrs. It has left my skin scared/marked/red patches. Since this, I get no compliments on my looks. I used to get a lot. So, sadly, I think it does matter to people. I hope I am wrong.

Good news tho! I'm going for laser surgery soon! This will help a lot.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 69
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/14/2005 5:25:08 PM
blau The bad times are in the past, and I LOVE the ride!!
good2 I've read enough of your posts to know when I see a beautiful soul. Honestly I think you're a great looking man. Your eyes show tenderness and strength, your face is awesome. The woman that is deserving of a truly great guy like you will caress your face tenderly with her hands and look into those deep beautiful eyes and smother you with kisses. Do you know Babylonia? She's a mod and she posted an acne thread, she's going through the same thing. Do the search for her thread, it may benefit you to read it. But people of substance recognize other people of substance. Skin is just an outer covering, yes it's important to you, my skin in places has scars from an attack. A jagged scar across my throat, I have a long, very sexy neck. I love it to be kissed and touched. The scar didn't change that, it's just how I look now. My neck is still beautiful and sexy and will be kissed and touched, your face is the same. If I could I would sit and look at you tenderly hold your face in my hands gently and smile. I hope this makes sense and makes you feel better, you SO deserve that. And I'd gladly do that.
 SilverSeven
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 70
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If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 10/14/2005 5:43:53 PM
Hey Shimmer, hugs to you for all that you have survived and overcome! Try to look at scars as the abstract art that life leaves on our physical bodies and look for the beauty in them. I've worked with many women over the years who bore the marks of violence and through visual art mediums, have shown them a different view of themselves and their battle reminders. Think about the earlier suggestion that was made about having some artistic photographs taken of your skin or have some sketches or a painting done of them. Hell, make a print of your scars using your skin and some acrylic paint, then add some paint to the print and make it into a piece of self-expression. This is the body you've got for this lifetime, so celebrate it for the amazing thing that it is! And also remember that in many tribal societies, ritual scarification is used to mark rites of passage and are viewed with respect and awe.
 Ubermoose
Joined: 11/24/2005
Msg: 71
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 12/13/2005 10:46:25 AM
shimmerfree,
One simple answer: NOT AT ALL. A scar is a natural healing process that your skin goes through. It is not like a contagious sickness or anything. If a guy is going to get worked up over something like that then you probably don't want him anyway. If you develop chemistry with anyone, explain what happened. Say hey my ex did this and so on and so forth. If someone accepts you for who you are, something that trivial will not matter. i had a gf who had a few scars once, didn't matter the least to me or her. I have scars of my own on my head. Thats just my opinion though. Unfortunately i cant speak for all the guys. But if you feel good about yourself, these scars are just another part of you.
 countrygirlnga
Joined: 1/25/2006
Msg: 74
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/12/2006 6:22:01 PM
If a man looks at you different because of a scar you dont need him.....
 taladu
Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 75
To the woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/12/2006 8:21:02 PM
I think you should proud of who you are and show wear a bathing suit, and do the things you like doing I feel life is to short not to be proud of who you are and wear the bathing suit and if the man you are with don't think that way then its his lost and not yours.
 SSMC1024
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 76
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/12/2006 8:30:37 PM
I have to say, I can play too! I was worried about HUGE scars on multiple parts of my body due to several surgeries, but I have to agree with most of the other people I've read...it won't matter if someone truly cares about you. I personally tell whoever I am interested in about my scars pretty quickly...so I can weed out the people who are shallow.

I am with you, sister. Don't feel bad. I met a really nice, honest guy recently and here is a quote from one of our conversations...he said that it is what is on the inside that counts. And for the person who is really deserving of you, he is exactly right. If someone really cared that you have scars, would you even want someone like that? No. So try not to feel bad about it.

I'm sure you are a beautiful person...inside AND out.

 professorskip
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 77
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/13/2006 1:50:44 AM
scars are sexy, and they fade but the woman is always beautiful unique and sexy, imperfections and all. people should always remember that beauty is subjective, for many the imperfections are what define individuality and beauty. i would be the last one to be upset about a scar.......
if you like tattoos you shouldnt have a problem with scars, piercings same deal. we all scar ourselves in some way a good lover dosent care and embraces individuality.
as we grow older we change dramaticly, the person i want to spend my life with will be loved as a whole, not objectified, or judged.
respect-skip
 livewirehere
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 78
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/13/2006 12:09:45 PM
I also think it makes a person "who they are".. I have a big one on my right knee and one on my back, where it looks like I got shot---I didn't get shot though... REALLY~~~ I think nothing of scars when I see them on another person.. It sometimes tells their life story~~
 smith2267
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 79
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/13/2006 4:36:16 PM
I often ask people about their scars...
Maybe it's rude, I don't know. But I'm curious.
And if you ignore something about a person, isn't that tantamount to telling them that it's bad or shameful?
I ask where did you get that scar, they answer, and we move on. They know I don't think it's a big deal.
 umm1
Joined: 2/13/2006
Msg: 80
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/14/2006 10:04:51 AM
sometimes the ugliest scars are inside and can't be seen until much later.
 Poet102781
Joined: 8/22/2005
Msg: 81
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/14/2006 11:13:35 AM
I think it would weed out all the shallow f#cktards. Dont be asshamed of your body...
 livewirehere
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 82
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/17/2006 7:51:51 PM
Excellent umm..... It's so true, that many times the ugliest scars are on the inside~~I don't mind if people ask about mine and I don't feel "weird" asking about theirs. My ex had acne scars all over his back and when we first met I wondered if he had been burned in a fire as I didn't know what they were at the time--they're quite bad. I finally asked him, and he told me. He would never take his t-shirt off before that, but afterwards he felt comfortable when I looked, commented and asked about it. His dad didn't care enough to take him to a doctor when he was a teenager, so he lives with the scars. I made sure he realized that it doesn't make him who he "is", it's just a part of him~~
 thegreatrockyhill
Joined: 12/26/2005
Msg: 83
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/17/2006 8:33:14 PM

A long time ago my X threw hot water on me. It left marks on my chest.


How horrible! I'd like to throw acid on that dirtbag. Pretty girl like you.


I know a man wants a perfect looking woman.


We're not all like that. In fact, there are no tuly perfect looking people out there. Like with celebs. You only see them when they look their best. You don't see them when they break out or are bloated or whatever.

A guy who wants a perfect 10 shouldn't hold his breath.






Not on my breasts, but right on my chest and a little on my shoulders. I can't wear the clothes I want to and it really effects my sex life. I don't want a man seeing it because I think he will look at me different. One with no marks. I am a good woman but these marks make me less confident about myself. Should these marks, or any marks make a difference when two people really care about each other? I don't think so, but I know some men do.

I am trying to get over the fact that they are there and you'll just have to except me for who I am,but when I get a man that wants to go to the beach.......well I can't even wear a bathing suit. It just hurts.



If you ever find a guy, tell him about it. Tell him you're self-conscious. If he really likes you, he won't care. He might find it attractive in a way.

And the beach is overrated anyway.
 josephg
Joined: 4/19/2005
Msg: 84
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:27:19 PM
your beautifull justas you are.Don't let the outer scars .scar you on the inside as well.
If the scare bother a man he really doesn't care about at all. So I guess hte answer ot oyur question is SCREW HIM!
No actually that is wrong.Don't screw him.
 Luckyladytoile
Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 85
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/6/2006 8:46:45 PM
I had open heart surgery at age 7 in 1960.... so it is not the wonderful little scar people have today. You know what I wear it with pride. I am so freaking glad to have it and the men I have dated do not care. I wear it with pride and always will. My husband for 19 yrs did not mind it at all.... I have gained a few more scars over the yrs from other surgeries... does not matter to the men if they are really a man and care about you. same for the ladies, it should not matter to us if the man we are seeing has scars, get over it , the scars may have saved his life and that is why you are so lucky to be with him at this time! jg
 midnightrider05
Joined: 1/30/2006
Msg: 86
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/6/2006 9:09:18 PM
You know what? Scars are a part of life , and every one makes you tougher. I have spent the majority of my life farming , Rodeoing, and breaking horses- Even had some major surgeries- Ive got scars from all of it>
I used to worry about what others thought, but I learned that if there not mature enough to handle my scars They cant handle me.
 SensualDessert
Joined: 6/14/2006
Msg: 87
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/6/2006 10:15:45 PM
You just gotta be happy with yourself..In order to find happiness with somebody else, you first must love yourself no matter what.

I have come to the realization that I am not perfect, but I like myself anyway. I do think I have to lose a little weight, but I am happy with my body wheather I do or not...My mommy tummy is something I am actually proud of, as that came from me carrying my 2 lovely kids and it was worth putting on an extra 25lbs...So, even if I don't lose that...Whatever, if a man can't love me for who I am and is totally wrapped up in what I look like he isn't worth my time. I know some of a happy realtionship there has to be attraction, but if you show that those scars don't bother you, they shouldn't bother a real man who is attracted to everything about you. Good Luck
 honeybee06
Joined: 6/10/2006
Msg: 88
If a woman has a few scars..does it make you look at them different
Posted: 8/7/2006 10:12:10 AM
Hi Shimmerfree, I too have bad scars due to a car accident when I was 17, I am now 44. I was in a car that went off the road and flew 30 ft in the air hitting a tree, my friend beside me was killed and the driver walked out with a broken jaw. I was crushed under the dash on my left side, I have a scar from my hip to my ankle that has widened due to too many surgeries, I have a scar across my lower stomach from bad veins, I have a scar down my back, I have had two surgeries on my back and now have steel plates. I also suffer from bad veins due to a thrombosis in my left thigh. I tried to see a plastic surgeon when I was younger but he said that there really nothing he could do for me. I suffer from post traumatic anxiety attacks and have no self confidence. I am currently in a seperation process with the man I have been married to for 26 yrs. I do have other friends and I have a couple of good male friends, one I have just started a relationship with, he says the scars or viens don't bother him but I am still shy and won't let him see them. I don't wear a bathing suit or shorts or skirts (since my accident) I don't know what the future holds for me and I have to go for vienograms every couple of years to make sure the blood is flowing properly. My left leg swells badly sometimes due to the damage. I am a very outgoing person and I love to have fun, I have tried all my life not to let this get too much in my way, I do find summer a **** with the heat (I am supposed to wear support stockings 40 compression to help the blood flow) needless to say in this heat I can't. I consider myself a fairly attractive woman and try to take of myself the best I can but there are some people out there that really don't understand and just like to stare. Sorry guys but I think some of you can be the most critical as most of you like to see the perfect gal - slim, pretty and no scars. I am a firm believer that beautie is in the eye of the beholder - everyone has some good in them and everyone is beautiful in there own way. I am always here to chat and hear anyones problems, I have delt with enough of my own from a teenage rape to verbal and mental abuse from my ex. and or course the ongoing issues from my accident. All I can say is keep your chin up and don't be afraid to speak out and ask for help. My friends have been the greatest help to me.

Cheers all
Love and Laughter
Honeybee
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