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Joined: 1/13/2005
Msg: 158
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Genital HerpesPage 4 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
STD's are a part of our culture, both the curable and the incurable. Smart people take precautions to minimize their exposure through education ... so to answer your question; I was referring to ignorant people (I thought that was fairly obvious).
In this day and age, there is no excuse for the propagation of old wives tales. We know that you can't get pregnant from kissing, playing with it will not make you go blind, and crabs don't actually pole vault, so it is now safe to throw matchsticks in the toilet...
Believe it or not, there are web sites other than POF, and they contain a wealth of accurate information.
Joined: 7/26/2006
Msg: 161
Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/1/2006 7:20:45 AM
i say exnay to any partner who would tell me they had any STD not my cup of tea nor am i interested in changing my opinion. Thank you for you honest and move on. but that just my my opinion..
Joined: 7/26/2006
Msg: 164
Genital Herpes
Posted: 9/10/2006 5:13:16 PM
Unless you are not having sex, you're not immune.

thats right so therefore why would u put yourself in a situation with such consequences. whatever happened to getting to know so WELL before having sex. guess that dont happen much anymore. Whatever happened to wearing protection? that dont happen anymore either? hmm you wonder.

I think people are forgetting that the majority of people who've contracted it, never had a choice

thats the funniest concept i have ever heard. no matter what your are taking a risk. so it takes 2. wether the person did not know or whatever its still both of their faults first person for not telling the other and the second for having unprotected anything i.e sex. with a person who was so dumb not to be honest. sepaking of ignorance that sounds pretty much like the real meaning of ignorance to me right there.
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 170
Genital Herpes
Posted: 5/3/2007 11:20:24 AM
as for me, someone tells me they have herpes, its goodbye to any possible relationship other than platonic friendship. My body, my choice.
Joined: 7/5/2004
Msg: 172
Genital Herpes
Posted: 5/6/2007 11:45:58 AM
This response to the original poster....

I would have a much greater regard for a prospective partner informing me their health issues. It not only shows me that they respect my right to protect my health, it shows me that they respect themselves, and view themselves as more than just a disease or a sex toy, but as a whole person.

I think that too many people look at sex as a recreational activity rather than as an expression of intimacy. A person can have herpes and be totally asymptomatic. A person can be infected with HIV, and it may not show up on a blood test until 6 months after exposure. Knowing that, any time you have sex with another person, you could be exposing yourself to any number of sexually transmitted diseases. So maybe what you should be asking yourself is, "How do I feel about this person? Do I really care about them? Is what I feel toward them a desire for intimacy, or do I just want to get off?" Because if you're just looking to get off, you can do that a lot more safely by yourself. And you limit the risk of hurting yourself, or someone else either physically or emotionally. Love is a beautiful thing, but lust can get really ugly, really fast...
Joined: 7/19/2007
Msg: 184
Genital Herpes
Posted: 8/11/2007 8:21:56 PM
I appear to be in the minority of men here, but I don't understand what the big deal is.

You have a woman who chose to be honest with her prospective partner and that's BAD?

Yes, herpes is a disease that can be transmitted through sex. It's not fatal. Most people who have it never know they have it. There are very few symptoms. It's not going to rot your brain like syphilis. It's not going to cause pain while urinating like gonorrhea. It's not going to cause lesions, pain, and death like AIDS. Why all the fear?

No, I don't have herpes, but I know people who do.

Herpes is something you live with -- like heart disease, high cholesterol, or diabetes. Except all of those things can be fatal.

Yes, I'd have sex with a woman who has herpes. I would take precautions, I would ask her to get on immunosuppressive therapy, I would avoid contact when she was having a known outbreak, etc.

I would much rather the woman be honest with me and tell me that she had herpes than hide it from me.
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 185
Genital Herpes
Posted: 8/11/2007 11:45:48 PM
tell her to move on and u do the same ewwwwwww
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 191
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 10/13/2007 9:00:38 PM

check this out...probably a load of b.s but still interesting if it does work

I've had and suffered with genital herpes for 25 yrs.
The Heal-All and other "HEAL" brand natural products are very very good. I highly recommend them. I use them. I live in Canada .. it costs be $50-75 per bottle but you only need a couple drops each time. The oil can be rubbed directly into the sore (which is extremely painful but tends to attack the virus more quickly in my experience) but is also very well received by the immune system when rubbed into the bottom of your feet. It is absorbed and taken into the blood stream quickly this way. The all natural HEAL products have helped to keep my outbreaks at bay (so as a preventative of attacks/outbreaks) as well as to shorten the timeframe that i suffer with open lesions.

If i am under a lot of stress, do not get at least 6 hours sleep per night AND ... (and this is very important) I am within one week of my menstrual cycle occurring or having occurred I am very much more prone to having an outbreak. I MUST pay attention to my health and emotional state pre and post menstruation to ensure an outbreak does not occur. Probably 90% of the time that i do have an outbreak, this is the case.

I was with the same partner for 20 of those years. He has the oral herpes while I have never had that. He has never to our knowledge contracted genital herpes from me. We practiced oral sex only when I was feeling 100% and only when he never had a coldsore either. My outbreaks are much more painful than his. He had cold sores since he was a child but i did not. I was extremely careful all of those 20 yrs to ensure that if i had the slightest "tingling" sensitive/painful sensation anywhere between the bottom of my outer labia and anus, I would completely refrain from any sexual activity whatsoever for the entire time that i felt sensitve and/or at least 4-6 days after my lesion crusted over and was no longer an open/wet sore. If i can get the rest I need, take the Heal products, eat well, and refrain from stressful situations I can reduce my outbreak time by half. Most of my outbreaks last a week in total and I normally get an outbreak about 2-3 times per year. I ALWAYS know when it is coming. I really listen to my body. After 20 yrs with this virus I am very confident that I will NOT spread it to another partner. I think it is extremely important that women pay attention to their bodies and know that they truly do have the insight, the power, the ability to "sense" these things and especially to "sense" an outbreak coming on. Perhaps I am painting us all with the same brush as my outbreaks are very painful and uncomfortable so I always can sense one coming on. Perhaps that is not the case for many others.

Sorry to get so detailed and graphic but I think its very important for everyone to hear about others experiences and hope that it helps. Life is full of surprises, fears, dreams and desires. We make choices every single day. Life is really a game of russian roulette it seems. You might be overly cautious with everything you do in life and walk out the door tomorrow to get hit by a bus. This entire thread has been very educational and I am grateful also for all those others who have shared their experiences here.
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 199
Genital Herpes
Posted: 10/26/2007 8:00:13 AM
I agree! Is there anything you can do with that person without catching it? I know that herpes have out break stages. So if the person is going through an outbreak, then it would be pretty sore for them to do anything anyway. I'm actually quite curious about this myself, weather when there not having an outbreak can you still catch it. As Trvingman mentioned, it's a bit risky.
It's a horrible thing for anyone to go through, but you gotta always use protection wise this is what happends lol.
But it's really good the girl actually said something. Most wont, because they feel to ashamed, but i think thats brilliant that the girl actually said something, thats good.
Joined: 4/14/2007
Msg: 204
Genital Herpes
Posted: 10/27/2007 4:57:22 AM
sure take treatment dont tell them? is that wise? and that person gets it .
will sorry help ? i know people that killed because they got aids .
be honest dont be sorry or stupid. mabe thats the right thing to do.
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 206
Genital Herpes
Posted: 10/27/2007 8:21:07 AM
Some people come with liabilities you don't want. Like it says at the top of the page... there are plenty of fish... and you only need to choose one. Choose wisely.

There is also a niche dating site for people with this disease, plenty of people in the same boat where it would be no issue. I really don't see that as a problem, she has a huge group to pick and chose from.
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 215
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 12/12/2007 9:24:10 PM
If you want herpes, go for it... It's your life. Despite what you've been reading herpes is one of the most prolific SDTs out there and having protected (the sores can come up on places that a condom does not cover) or unprotected sex with people who have it almost guarantees that you'll eventually get it.

1/3 of the population (ages 15-35) is expected to have it in the next 10 years (I think the CDC said that, but you'll have to check that out yourself) or so.
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 219
Genital Herpes
Posted: 12/25/2007 6:30:34 PM
I prefer to tell up front (it's in my profile). That way nobody is wasting each other's time.

Further, I don't want a lady to decide to take a chance solely because I've withheld the information until she was emotionally involved. In fact, I don't want to pass it on at all. I did, to one (informed) lady 14 years ago, and I still feel very bad about it.

I'm on this site because I know that there are ladies here who have it also. The dating pool on the herpes sites just isn't large enough.
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 227
Genital Herpes
Posted: 1/8/2008 8:40:46 AM
"Don't ****in touch them!"

If you had read through this thread, you would understand that there is a very good chance you already have and/or will in the future. There is no way to be absolutely sure, unless you and your partner are tested and are totally monogamous.

Remember...standard STD screening does NOT include HSV.

There are no safe sex practices which guarantee you won't catch it (other than abstinence).
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 228
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 1/8/2008 9:22:31 AM

In a nutshell, no thanks, I know there are alot of people out there who have contracted it accidently and that is a shame but I wouldnt have sex with anyone with it, no way

10 bucks says you already have.....

I belive the rough stats on it are 1 in 7 have it. Maybe more because many who have it dont know. Also many who have it dont tell because they think "No OB no transmission".

Herpes is the gift that keeps giving.
Joined: 7/23/2006
Msg: 231
Genital Herpes
Posted: 1/8/2008 6:36:24 PM

I would run as fast as I could. Who the heck wants a incurable disease. And if they have herpes, god only knows what other diseases they could have.

Your ignorance on STDs is amazing. This and the HIV comment you posted in another thread really shows how little you know about STDs, risk and what 'type' of people have them.
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 232
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 1/8/2008 7:41:23 PM
Right on ilegion...

The thing is its the "See no evil, Hear no Evil, Speak no evil" mentality....No people are getting in the mindset that you can look and tell what someone has...

Herpes is an STD for which there is no cure, hence its stigma.

The AIDS and STD terror of the 80's and 90's has calmed considerable. People arent getting tested, and safe sex is on the decline.

I would run as fast as I could. Who the heck wants a incurable disease. And if they have herpes, god only knows what other diseases they could have.

Yeah, I belive you would "run".

Tell me have you ever been tested for AIDS or other STD's?

Do you use a condom for Oral sex?

Do your partners use dental dams when preforming oral sex on you?

Do you know what STD's are out there and how you get them? i.e. Hepatitis for example? Unlike AIDS it can live for hours on surfaces, and is transmitted via saliva and blood.

Here are some Herpes stats for you. Wise up.


-One out of five of the total adolescent and adult population is infected with genital herpes.

-Infection is more common in women (approximately one out of four women) than in men (almost one out of five).

-Male-to-female transmission is more efficient than female-to-male transmission.

-One in five Americans have genital herpes (yet at least 80 percent of those with herpes are unaware they have it).

-About 80 percent of American adults have oral herpes (cold sores).

-An estimated 25 percent of American adults have genital herpes.

Still feel "safe"???
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 236
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Genital Herpes
Posted: 1/9/2008 6:50:39 AM

Yes , I use a condom every time.

Good. Do you know how many don't?

And you of course know that Herpes and Hepatitus can still be transmitted with or without a condom...right?

No , I do not give oral sex. I'm not stupid.

Really? Good for you.

However a great majority are "stupid" in your words.

You are a nice person I am sure, but you can be rather blunt and tactless. 2 things are real RN is not...Well a good one.

You were a CNA, right?

Yes, I have been tested for both diseases after my 3 broken relationship

Excellent. However the validity of Herpes testing is hotly debated. Last time I checked there was no carved in stone US test for it. AS a "nurse" you would know that generally the ony time one knows is if a skin sample is taken during an OB. And considering some never notice OB's and a few lucky ones never have it....Well....

I am very herpes,aids,hepatitis phobic.

You know, a Nurse in this day and age would not word it that way. When my mother became a nurse in the early 80's, Many Nurses, and Doctors were "phobic" too....Patients didnt get treatment because of "phobic" people.My mother stopped working in hospitals because of some of that ignorance...Thank god thats changed...People arent "phobic" they know how its transmitted and what the risks are. Well SMART people.

So, you better damn well believe I have been tested after breaking up with a man. 2 ex-husbands and a boyfriend. I do not just sleep with anyone. I am extremely cautious.

As should more people be.

However the only way to be100% safe is to abstain from sex period.

Another thing, I saw your gay man comment....Gay men were indeed at more risk for HIV. Did you know that rate has dropped? and young Straight people now top the charts?
Why? Gay communities educated each other after dealing with ignorance and condemnation...Safe Sex in testing went up among them way before it did with the straight population.
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 237
Genital Herpes
Posted: 1/9/2008 8:06:46 AM
Condoms are very ineffective against the spread of genital herpes. The shedding can occur on thighs, buttocks, etc, and those areas are susceptible to receiving the virus, as well.
Joined: 1/6/2008
Msg: 238
Genital Herpes
Posted: 1/9/2008 8:40:50 PM
If you get it on your face, it's herpes simplex, but if you get it down "there" it's herpes complex. If you get it both places it's herpes duplex.
Joined: 5/22/2007
Msg: 240
Genital Herpes
Posted: 1/9/2008 11:19:23 PM
Hell if you know you've got it and its not a problem to yourself - you should just share it around with all the wimen you can. Yeah, the wimen suffer a whole eap moren us men, but then yah got a set that r faithful to yah - cause they cant get laid elsewhere. I reckon spread the joy. In my town Armidale NSW, I've infected at least 10 and I got a good supply now.
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