Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 clandestine_nirvana
Joined: 12/24/2004
Msg: 95
view profile
History
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!Page 2 of 32    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32)
bucsgirl >> i know how i did it myself, but it's hard to generalize to something i could SHARE with others.
i also did it the "hard" or long way, so i'm not in a position to give out the best advice possible. just share my experiences.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 96
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/27/2005 11:59:34 AM
clandestine I did too, and I think it's somewhat a process of maturity. I'm 48, you're 26 and the other guy who's so desperate is 18. You can specifically read and learn confidence building skills but just life experience and maturity helps, or I really believe that it does. You're very smart for your age, let me say in realizing that you can't generalize and share your experience with others. People CAN learn something from sharing experiences, but it's a matter of taking what suits you not all advice is applicable to everyone. Some people in general would be better off spending their time working on themselves and feeling better about themselves before launching into trying to find a mate. It would improve their chances greatly. Thanks for your insightful post, you're a smart mature man.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 107
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/28/2005 5:34:28 PM
Just a comment to what Toronaga wrote. I can and do only speak for myself, but I'm not an attention junkie, attention just for attention is a hollow reward. I'm a confident woman I don't need my inbox jammed to affirm my self worth or self esteem. Sure attention is flattering to a certain extent. What I'd be happier to find is the attention of the type of man I'm looking for whether it be one man or 15 or any number. Getting a ton of email from men who arent' even close to what I'm looking for or who live too far away, what does that accomplish? A lot of polite and hopefully well written responses, and I DO that. Don't thank me thank my parents, they raised me well. I don't look at it as numbers, every email is written by a person, yes it's a person whose persona may be real or fabricated, but it is a human being with an ego and feelings who is writing me. I take that seriously and respond with consideration for their feelings. Again, I like to attribute that to being a product of great parenting. To the poster before me, I would say, do whatever is right for you. Always. I was gonna say don't compare yourself to other, but then you said things are moving at a comfortable pace and you're enjoying it, with a LOL. That's great to see, thanks for saying that, you obviously understand. I dare say that you, my friend will be satisifed with your experience here, no matter what happens because you're enjoying it and I would anticipate that you are more likely to find someone you can be happy with than most. It's always nice to see someone who's not griping or whining or getting their shorts twisted because they don't understand who things work. Cheers to you and I wish you the best.
 thebomb1971
Joined: 6/22/2005
Msg: 109
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/28/2005 6:02:54 PM
":within 5 mins of signing on as her
I got 15 new emails !!!!!
and 12 instant messages from 12 different guys
-It was like getting attacked by ants !!!!!!"

FUNNY.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 111
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/28/2005 6:36:09 PM
dbndon You're very welcome. That's what I said you understand, so your investment of yourself here is balanced. I don't know how to word it to my satisfaction, but I'm pretty sure you get my drift. I still say that your "chances" or "luck" is as good or better than most. Thanks for your post.
Toronaga Sorry but I don't agree. You're just sharing your experiences, wanna say talk to much look at the length of My posts..haha My take on you is that you're sincere and trying to figure it out, which you are to an extent. But you're experience a very common thing in let's say internet dating. It's gotta be very confusing and frustrating for you men.
After looking at your profile, I find you warm and considerate and engaging. Heck if you emailed me and lived in my state or country and asked me out I'd be happy to go have a drink with you and just enjoy it. I'm older, so that may not be a thrilling thing for you, but just maybe chill out kick back and take it for what it is. A new perspective may make all the difference. Hope you understood this.
 thebomb1971
Joined: 6/22/2005
Msg: 113
About pay dating sites:
Posted: 8/28/2005 6:55:18 PM
I've been a member of one since '97.... I've gotten more responses from this FREE site since I've joined (a couple of months). And I just have to say this: I don't recall if my pics are on this site but i get more inquiries about if I have any pics then before I took them down. After I say that I do anhd show them, silence. I must be one ugly sucker! What a blow to the ego.
 thebomb1971
Joined: 6/22/2005
Msg: 116
About pay dating sites:
Posted: 8/28/2005 7:16:00 PM
i meant it as 'I've taken my photos off of some sites and get More responses to my profile now. But it doesn't matter because after I respond I get silence.'
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 117
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/28/2005 8:28:40 PM
Toronaga If you didn't live in another country, I'd invite you out for a drink and an interesting conversation. And I guarantee share a few laughs.
 carribeanking7
Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 118
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/28/2005 8:37:19 PM
Bucs..if you ever visit my country...the drinks are on me.
 carribeanking7
Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 120
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/28/2005 8:53:58 PM
Youre welcome too DOC....
in fact I'll cook you all dinner...my marinated & grilled chicken fillet is legendary...
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 121
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/28/2005 9:04:28 PM
carrib It's a deal and I'll provide the entertainment...dancing, singing whatever you like...hahaha
 carribeanking7
Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 124
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/28/2005 10:45:37 PM
Toranaga.................


A friend of Bucs..is a friend of mine.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 127
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/29/2005 3:05:12 PM
gabby If this were actually to HAPPEN yes...someone needs to buy a jet next time you go shopping...hehehe
 ~Ames~
Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 133
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/30/2005 1:55:52 PM
Finally ya'll are realizing this. I hope all of the "whiners" and "complainers" about the lack of return emails read this! Now hopefully they will understand the "thank you's" in return to their vague little emails without much effort for return correspondence are done strictly in the form of politeness...

But after "weeding" out those folks, I am pretty fond of some people on here.... !!!
 wandercoast
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 138
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/30/2005 3:44:28 PM
I think it is the same thing, dancing or dating. The times when I haven't really been looking, or haven't cared are the times when I met and connected with women. hen you aren't looking, people of the opposite sex want to be with you. When I am looking for love I never find it. People hate desperation.

As to the email thing. Sure I have written articulate emails to women and gotten no resopnse but so what? Its the internet. I have learned to be selective and only write people I am really interested in. I couldn't imagine getting so many emails a day. I get about one or two a week and I am happy.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 139
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/14/2014 8:05:13 PM
Men complain about not getting responses. Women complain about the quality of men that contact them. I would much rather have the women's "problem". If I was getting dozens of emails per week, I'm sure I could find at least a few women that I would be interested in.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 140
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/14/2014 8:51:39 PM
I have heard women say there are a lot of married guys on here and lots of "undesirables".....I don't doubt that at all. I rarely get an email and I do not envy women who get lots.......I always say when that happens, they get "the good, the bad and the ugly". I am not into being "popular", I am only into finding that one special person. As far as attention goes, women have it a lot more and I am not envious of that at all!!
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 141
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/14/2014 9:19:11 PM
Men complain about not getting responses. Women complain about the quality of men that contact them. I would much rather have the women's "problem".


Logic would conclude that the women's problem is more preferable. If women don't like the quality of men that contact them, they can always start contacting men themselves, who do interest them. And block the "undesirables" who persist. If men are getting no responses, they can't do anything else about it, if they already have a good profile. Except complain. And then they are called whiners. Walk a mile in their shoes. And for the women who do write themselves and get no response, now you know what a lot of guys are up against ALL the time.


If I was getting dozens of emails per week, I'm sure I could find at least a few women that I would be interested in.


Agreed.
Since there are supposed to be so many men versus women on these dating sites, is it really conceivable that the overwhelming majority of women are wonderful (as they describe themselves in their profile) and the overwhelming majority of men are "undesirable" losers? Then why do so many women even stay on the sites instead of going out in the real world and finding all the wonderful men THERE?
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 142
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/14/2014 10:20:51 PM

Then why do so many women even stay on the sites instead of going out in the real world and finding all the wonderful men THERE?


Easy. Because some women have to go to work and take care of young children by themselves and have very limited time to go out and socialize to meet men. It's more efficient to go on dating sites and meet someone there and set up a date than randomly spending my limited spare time in the hopes of maybe finding someone who is a) available b) my type, c) attracted to me. If I had no obligations other than my job, sure, I'd be out and about all the time, but I can't just take off and leave my kids alone.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 143
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/14/2014 10:36:53 PM
[ I can't just take off and leave my kids alone.]


That's when you get what is called.................a babysitter.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 144
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/15/2014 12:33:35 AM
Babysitters are very expensive. I can't afford a babysitter every weekend or every time I would like to go out and mingle and meet men that way. Also, I can't just ignore my kids every weekend while I'm out "hunting" guys and meeting people. The weekend is our time together, they need me. Running off and doing my own thing every weekend? Totally unrealistic and not fair to my kids. I can do a few dates per week, because they are short, but it takes a lot more time to be out and about and meet men through activities. I have tried it, and it's not working. And no, their dad does NOT have them every other weekend, I'm the only one who cares for them, all the time, 24/7, 365, and I go to work. My time is super limited, online dating has been the only way for me to have social life with the opposite sex.
 BLoNDeANGeL845
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 145
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/15/2014 8:44:53 AM

Babysitters are very expensive. I can't afford a babysitter every weekend or every time I would like to go out and mingle and meet men that way. Also, I can't just ignore my kids every weekend while I'm out "hunting" guys and meeting people. The weekend is our time together, they need me. Running off and doing my own thing every weekend? Totally unrealistic and not fair to my kids. I can do a few dates per week, because they are short, but it takes a lot more time to be out and about and meet men through activities. I have tried it, and it's not working. And no, their dad does NOT have them every other weekend, I'm the only one who cares for them, all the time, 24/7, 365, and I go to work. My time is super limited, online dating has been the only way for me to have social life with the opposite sex.

Karma is right, it is NOT easy & she has it a bit harder as she is a 24/7 parent. It does get easier as they grow up- today is my youngest's 24th B-day & I actually miss when the kids were little & had to drag them all over the place :0(

The right man, or a man of good character would be impressed by a responsible parent.

So I'd say the difference in a woman's experience CAN BE that she may have more obligations + less time &/or $ esp. if a FT parent.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 147
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/15/2014 12:05:34 PM
chattyKathie, yes, I've gotten those messages before too, while I was busy working or away from my computer. If you don't respond within a minute, they get nasty and aggressive. WTF???? Some of them I would have actually been interested in if they hadn't thrown a hissy fit, but they weeded themselves out.

Last night I was texting with a guy I met here on POF. I had gone out on a limb an messaged him first a week ago (which I very, very rarely do), he responded, we messaged back and forth a bit, and then last night he wanted me to meet him right away. It was already 10:45 pm, and I was put off, because 1) it's late, 2) it's super short notice, do they really think I'm sitting on standby, ready to drop everything just to rush and meet them, 3) if that wasn't a booty call, what is? I told him all this, and he went ballistic, accusing me of lumping him in with all the losers on this site, and that he was not looking to have sex with me, only to "be in my company". Get real. What do these guys expect if that's how they act and can't find someone to meet them? Are they stupid or liars?
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 148
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/15/2014 12:36:53 PM
Online is filled with angry men who insist on continuing to pursue women.

Alot of that anger comes right here into the forums, with the number one question being asked, "Why dont women respond to my messages??"

Read thru some of the reasons we are posting here....Karma and Chatty's story is a CLASSIC example of why women protect themselves. And as much as I hate to say it, it is because men get abusive. They swear, they curse, they degrade, they pester, they keep pestering and then pull the "you're still just a woman and I'm a man" card. The final attack!

And this happens over and over and over. Politely decline a guy and he'll beat you into the ground...I learned this really early on, one of the first encounters I had was with a guy who launched into a poutfest afterwards, saying "thanks for rejection!!"

Keep acting uncivil and this is what you are going to get...messages routinely ignored by women because they are sick of being dumped on. Guys, you've only got the crummy members of your own sex to blame for a big part of the problem..on this issue, being the brunt of some very nasty verbal abuse, I do have to call it out. Don't blame us-we're trying to protect ourselves.

Re: Chatty's gem-

He pees standing up..well that's great..just wait until he's older and his prostate is squeezed so tight he'll be standing up to pee 20 times a night.

I NEVER expected men to respond to my messages..if they did, great. Got a few dates out of it. Most of the time, silence. My failure rate was almost 100% with responses, and completely 100% as far as the whole online dating thing. Its not just men that get little or no feedback or attention. I completely know how it feels.

Difference is, I didnt keep chasing the guys around trying to attack and demoralize them because *I* felt crummy.

I just deleted my profile. And magically..problem solved.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 149
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/15/2014 2:21:37 PM
I've never complained about not getting a response.

I'm from the fortunate (?) side of the pond and can get 1-3 date wonders easily enough that can be paid for with a day of overtime. Damn I'm getting tired!!!

I do agree that women have a bigger concern about safety and comfort then us guys. Ok, maybe the larger or faster women could pose a threat, so I make sure not to date those:)

I don't know, I read about these nasty messages and I feel like showing up to a date with a sign on my chest that says 'I COME IN PEACE. I DO NOT SEE YOU AS A SEX OBJECT' (yet...lmao)
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >