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 justmeinnc05
Joined: 8/12/2005
Msg: 332
Can men and women be friends without sex?Page 13 of 53    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
I don't see why men and women being friends would be a problem. I have always mainly had male friends, and never once thought about having sex with them. I really haven't had any female friends since I have been an adult. However if one of them was married or had a girlfriend, and we went out, their wife or girlfriend was along too. Usually with a group of people. I can see where it might cause problems if it were any other way.
 wanttotalktoyou
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 333
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/8/2006 9:12:49 PM
Sure. I have a few female friends that I don't think of that way. Nothing against them, I just can't see them as anything else. Personally I think guys should have platonic female friends. Gives them insight into the female mind lol
 wontplay
Joined: 4/30/2006
Msg: 334
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/8/2006 9:32:04 PM
Absolutely! I have one male friend imparticular that I have been friends with for several years and have never had a sexual relationship with him. Sure, he brings up the topic on occasion, but the interest isn't there. I feel like the friendship would be ruined by going there with him. Sex is a very important part of my life, but it is also something that I value. I have male friends that I have had a sexual relationship with in the past, but still remain friends with them without any sort of sexual contact involved. I moved on, they moved on and you can never have too many friends!
 placenamehere
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 335
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/9/2006 12:40:46 AM
NO they cannot be.

Sexual tension between a man and a women is completely normal and natural. SEX IS NATURAL. You cannot turn off instincts. You can lie to yourself and another about what you desire.

Anytime a man and a women are "just friends" at least one of them would be more than willing and HAS thought about sex between them. Most likely this would be the man who has thought about it.

After you have thought about it then their is sexual tension that will someday see some sort of fruition even if the results of such pent up lust is a breaking of the friendship.

So no. Men and women cannot be friends the same way men can be friends with men and vise versa. It goes against human nature.
 knoxjbp
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 336
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/9/2006 5:57:08 AM
Wontplay,

I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this but if you're guy friend has brought up the subject of sex guess what he's thinking about. Now he may be feeling you out waiting for the right oppurtunity but I can promise you he's thinking about having sex with you; even if you don't see him in that light.

I'm beginning to see a pattern here; notice most women actually think they can be friends without being the object of desire. Goes back to the propaganda they've been inundated with since birth; that mantra that they want a man to like them for their mind. And if they're having sex with a person how can they truly know if the guy they're banging loves them for their mind? So they turn to the "male friend" to prove to themselves that they have substance beyond the physical.

knoxjbp
 justmeinnc05
Joined: 8/12/2005
Msg: 337
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/9/2006 6:45:49 AM

So they turn to the "male friend" to prove to themselves that they have substance beyond the physical.


I know who I am, I know what I am, I know what I have. I do not have a need to prove anything to anyone. Every person male or female has substance beyond the physical.

I think those of you, that say males and females can't be friends without having sex, should really say it how it is. You can't be friends with the opposite sex without thinking about sex. Sorry for you as you are missing out.
 knoxjbp
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 338
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/9/2006 7:26:42 AM
Justme,


I know who I am, I know what I am, I know what I have. I do not have a need to prove anything to anyone. Every person male or female has substance beyond the physical.


Glad you cleared that up. Just a thought but why do you feel the need to assert that you know who you are?


I think those of you, that say males and females can't be friends without having sex, should really say it how it is. You can't be friends with the opposite sex without thinking about sex. Sorry for you as you are missing out.


Humans are sexual beings; that's how the species propagates. Men think about sex; all the time. To think you're the woman that men you're aquainted with, and hang around regularly, for some reason doesn't think about sexually is nothing more than a delusion. This isn't to say that sex is at the forefront of every topic of discussion, or thought; but it is most definitly on their mind.

knoxjbp
 Sweet~Kisses
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 339
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/9/2006 3:42:36 PM
Absolutely....I have many male friends that I have not had sex with. My best friend is a guy. We've been best of friends for about 10yrs now. I tell him everything! He even helped me out when I was having problems with my marriage. I guess you can say I relate better to men than I do with women. I dunno....but, for sure you can have friends from the opposite sex and not have sex....
 xXcHiQuE_204Xx
Joined: 5/4/2006
Msg: 340
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/9/2006 6:55:42 PM
i had the sma equestion im my head a months ago..and the words that came from a guy i like was...why not? i dont see any problem to it.

after a few weeks i asked him if he wanted to go out for a movie guess what he said.."we both know as friends isnt possible"...hmm after a few weeks it changes...

to my experience, men and women cant be friends unless one is gay!!!
 LolaShy
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 341
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/9/2006 7:42:27 PM
Yes men and women can be friends without sex. But you have to have boundaries. My one friend gets kinda crazy and touchy/feely when he drinks. It's annoying, but I let him know. If I had a boyfriend at that time and he knew, he would get a kick in the nads. We tease each other and have fun while we are both single. We flirt and have a good time, but if I am in a relationship, he knows what is acceptable and what is not. Same with him. I would not knowingly flirt and tease if he was in a relationship. If he or I am in a relationship, it doesn't happen. We respect each other. But you usually have to spell out your boundaries to your friends, and if they are a true friend they will respect that. I ask myself one question. Would I feel comfortable with my boyfriend doing this with a friend? If not, then I don't engage in that kind of behavior.
 gentlewm
Joined: 12/18/2005
Msg: 342
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/9/2006 8:50:40 PM
How do you categorized this thing?

First, I know that I can be friends with a woman, I like women, each one is different and wonderful. But, that doesn't say much. I don't mean that offensively, I just mean to say that knowing women in a general way and being generally friendly is easy to do. If you like women.

How about this, could I be friends with a beautiful woman, while in a meaningful relationship with my soulmate, sure I can. Why, because you make boundries out of self respect and out of love respect for your soulmate. Far as I am concerned that beautiful woman would be just a buddy.

Now here is the tough one, could I be friends with an attractive woman who finds me attractive and we both are not in a relationship. Look. lets be honest here, if she is good enough to be a friend, there is only a thin line between a woman who is a good friend and a good woman friend being my lover.

So bottom line, guess I would have to say that like everything else in life there is no easy answer, and just depends.
 treemanbdj
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 343
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/9/2006 11:42:37 PM
Absolutely!!

I have plenty of female friends. In the past a few had hints. They went both ways, Me on them and They on I. But they were accepted as a compliment and that was that.

I got one better. I have 6 old girlfriends in my cell phone and talk/see/email an average of once a month or so. Newest from 93...oldest 1983.

As they remained friends, I've told the new ones about them. Upon parting you might need a "space " time before you are friends (shorter as you get older). But opposite sex can be friends with no sex...even when there was romance in the past. All about honesty...with others as with yourself.

As for your current serious relationship being in the "trust area"... OMG...Hope by 40 thats not a problem..But hey....look for the signs, they are there...You are either faithfull or not. If they are "friends" your partner doesn't need to check in the mirror before or extra prep time to go out with their "friend", and will have no problem with you all going out or being together.

BDJ
 jaberwokey
Joined: 10/24/2005
Msg: 345
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/13/2006 11:31:23 AM
Women and men can be friends. However, there are many female friends I've have or have had that if they had wanted to start a relationship, I would have strongly considered it.

Why? Good relationships are grounded in good solid friendships. You can't base a relationship on just sex and expect it to be everlasting.
 Hervie1
Joined: 6/13/2006
Msg: 346
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/13/2006 11:39:36 PM
Yes you can...but only if neither of you has a thing for the other...or...the one who does, has a total grip on the reality that it's never gonna happen...if not...NOOOOOOO...

Don't kid yourself...you fester and linger and ache and yearn and want...and then...it gets ugly...I never want that...don't even go there!! :)

Good luck...but if he is honest, I think you should trust him...if I'm with a woman, I'll be faithful...doesn't matter how many hit on me...but not all are the same..you be the judge..go with you gut :)

Good luck^^

Herv. :)
 The_Gee
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 347
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/14/2006 3:51:30 AM
Oh yes, indeed men and women can share a platonic relationship without even having a sexual thought cross their mind. I have plenty of those types of relationships, but as far as him going out with all of them, that's another story.

I think that he should have at least invited you to come along so that you would be able to meet his friends and be involved in that part of his life that he's obviously not compromising. And if you weren't able to go out, or anything like that, just for him to make an effort to say, hey, well maybe we should have a little get together and meet my friends.

My ex husband was the jealous type, and I knew it. He was in the army and I would occasionally have a night out with my friends, which were not usually girls. But he always had the comfort in knowing that he'd met them before, and even if he didn't, I'd always talk to him about them and tell him they're like my brothers and nothing would happen and that he had to trust me even if he didn't trust them. And that worked for us. I know it can be different in every situation b/c every person is different too.

And it wasn't the trust that tore us apart...it was the stress of being apart and in the Army...we just grew apart...just a little disclaimer for anyone that may suggest that even though we did those things, then why did you break up type questions....

hah

Anyway, that's my opinion and I'm stickin to it...



-G-
 dr_who
Joined: 6/8/2006
Msg: 348
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/14/2006 1:06:35 PM
Yes. It all depends on your core beliefs and actions with such beliefs.
 bigred2931
Joined: 6/13/2006
Msg: 349
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/14/2006 1:18:03 PM
wow jesiebunnies----------------------that was wrong..double standard...men can be friends with girls and not be sleeping with the,,just as ladies can have men friends...and just as you women think we should be cool that you all hang out with tons of men....come on..give us a break...if you can hang with men and we should be cool with it..then you should be cool when we hang with women....can we say PSYCHO!..(that is what you would call US if we got jealous..)LOL
 bigred2931
Joined: 6/13/2006
Msg: 350
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/14/2006 1:19:10 PM
wow jesiebunnies----msg.#8------------------that was wrong..double standard...men can be friends with girls and not be sleeping with them just as ladies can have men friends...and just as you women think we should be cool that you all hang out with tons of men....come on..give us a break...if you can hang with men and we should be cool with it..then you should be cool when we hang with women....can we say PSYCHO!..(that is what you would call US if we got jealous..)LOL
 shadeblue
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 352
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History
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/16/2006 12:07:18 AM
I agree Tantric. I've had male best friends most of my life. I always felt more connected to them than I did women and honestly, most women didn't like me when I was younger. I've had and have many male friends who I don't and won't have sex with and then there are the very few who I would consider or have considered, but as was said early on in this thread, most likely nothing will ever come of any of it. I think the only way to have a truly balanced life and even begin to understand the opposite sex, is to have friendships of all kinds.

I think the original post of this thread may have been lost along the way as I would question if I was in a relationship and my significant other was going out with his "girlfriends" even somewhat regularly. I do have many male friends, but we don't typically "hang out" together as a group in a way that I wouldn't want to include my better half in.

I hope by now she has moved on and found a man who treats her as she deserves to be treated; with respect and dignity.

M
 High Heeled Boots
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 353
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:23:36 AM
Yes, most of my friends are guys and (I never) had sex with anyone of them; and I have been "pals" with most of them for over ten years.
 nevaeh_1200
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 355
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/19/2006 12:57:46 PM
I can't believe that question is even being asked? I have had so many male friends over the years, partied with, did everything with and not once did i have sex with ANY of them. They were and still are my friends. My male friends have even spent the night ON THE COUCH, many times. Do u really need to ask that question, of course men and women can be friends without having sex.
 CuteNPerky2
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 356
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/19/2006 12:59:09 PM
If the guy is gay it could work
 tie
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 357
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/19/2006 1:37:55 PM
it is that way when your younger
but as you start to look for more in a man .the male
friends start you to let go ,see less of them
 buck711
Joined: 5/15/2005
Msg: 358
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/19/2006 6:54:04 PM
Now, refresh my memory since I'm just an old fart......what was sex again??????

I have many Lady friends and there is no chance that either of us what more. And no I'm not gay...lol. I believe that you can be friends with both sexes and not have sex hanging over to spoil a good friendship. I'm not saying that if something started to grow between us, I would try to put out the fire, but how can you have a meaningful relationship if you don't start out as friends. And last, I guess I'm just old fashion, but I have never believed in "one night stands". It's all or nothing........

Buck
 SexySoulEyes
Joined: 6/9/2006
Msg: 359
view profile
History
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 6/19/2006 8:25:39 PM
I think that men and women can definitely be friends without sex. I have many male friends who I do think of as brothers. On some level am I attracted to them and are they attracted to me - probably - but I have never had the inclination to act upon that attraction when i have been in a long term relationship or even, when single. The truth of the matter is - if your partner wants to cheat on you, they will - whether they hang out with friends of the opposite sex or not. Sometimes as a woman, when you are having man dilemma's - you will go to your male best friends and ask their advice - just to get a man's perspective and vice versa, men - listening to their female friends **** about other men can become more aware of womens needs and concerns. TRUST is what it all comes down to - if you can't trust your partner, then why are you there?
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