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 ctrydancer
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 451
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Can men and women be friends without sex?Page 19 of 53    (13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53)
Without sex?...I have many male friends and acquaintances that I don't have sex with. Just people I bump into, out dancing, out in public, professionally in the community, in school, co-workers. My friend's boyfriends or husbands. Thats what impulse control is all about....lol
 flownmuse
Joined: 11/15/2005
Msg: 452
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 8/14/2006 3:04:22 PM
According to the almighty Ladder Theory, those who think it can be done are only fooling themselves.

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/foundations.html

Whether or not I prescribe to the Ladder Theory is another story... but it definitely is interesting (and uber cynical)!
 Sea_6
Joined: 8/10/2006
Msg: 453
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 8/14/2006 5:34:31 PM
I think that what attracts us to being GOOD friends with someone of the opposite sex is because there are personality traits that attracts us.... which i agree could be friendly in nature, but we still like those traits in people surrounding us, so there is some kind of attraction there at some level... and if by any chance we also find the guy charming (and maybe even attractive) and he feels the same too, there could always be a slightl chance that this is taking a stronger part in your life than what you partner would appreciate..... sometimes two two people are only friends because they don't think they would match on other levels, but it doesn't mean that there could never be a moment of weakness or attraction .... and so, yes guy friends are nice sometimes to have but when you get to have a partner, then maybe for lighter kinds of meetings like lunch or coffee or getting together with your partner, him and other people.... i know i would feel quite uncomfortable if my partner had many female friends and wanted to go out with them (without me) on a regular basis. I feel it really depends a lot on the guy and his attitude and the kind of relationship the two have, but I agree that you should keep a good friend if he was there before, but maybe the meetings should be of a little different nature than before you had your partner.
 CA_big_bear
Joined: 7/16/2006
Msg: 454
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 8/14/2006 6:21:13 PM
It has to depend on the situation and the people involved. 1) Yes, guys and girls can be just friends. 2) When in a relationship, I dont spend time alone with an other woman but do spend time with other women. 3) If your BF loves you then your feelings are important to him, If he knows you aren't comfortable with it then he needs to adjust his behavior. You shouldnt be offended if he is with other women, but he shouldnt be with another woman. But what ever your feelings are he should respect them, and make decissions based on your feelings, and if thats a problem with him then you should look elseware.
 krankiss
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 455
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 8/15/2006 10:01:03 AM
Why don't most males have sex with their male friends yet remain friends?

Simple, they aren't sexually attracted to their friend even though the two have a lot of shared interests. The same can go for men and women.

I've had attractive female friends as well as others whom held their beauty inside. Of course there was sexual tension at times. I could tell when they're attracted to me, however I know what I'm doing and ultimately decide my own actions... most of the time.

Sometimes you just can't resist but who's to say that's a bad thing? If the two of you connect well and there's mutual attraction then the friendship can be taken to the next level.
 netgrrl
Joined: 7/20/2006
Msg: 456
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 8/16/2006 6:36:58 PM
That's an interesting theory, and one that might have some merit.

Yet, I have had good friendships with men. Yes, they had some element of sexual attraction to them, but for one reason or another, we'd chosen not to go there. I think in all cases, we were both aware of it, but it was simply not a problem.

Sometimes though, a platonic friendship can turn bad, if suddenly the other person wants more. I've had it happen - person a breaks up with his g/f, and suddenly thinks you might be more. That can be messy, and in my experience, usually spells the end of the friendship.

Vic
 seekone
Joined: 4/19/2006
Msg: 457
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 8/20/2006 1:27:38 PM
I suppose so. I went with an older woman that didnt have the slightest interst in sex. She said she loved me as a friend, but was not IN love with me. So we were good friends until I hurt myself and could not walk as fast as she could. She never held hands with me, just kept on walking about half a block ahead of me. Never looking back to see if I was alright. So I finally drifted away to the point I dont think of her as a friend anymore. But while we were going together I considered her a good friend and sex just was not an issue, but at times she would give me a peck on the cheek. Only it was a soaking wet peck on the cheek. Made me think she didnt now how to really have a sexual relationship and just didnt want to admit it. Guess you never know what's in a persons mind. I think she had a lot to learn as far as just being polite. That's the issue, and under those circumstances I dont have a problem being a friend of hers. Oh well.
 MzStarBabe
Joined: 6/23/2005
Msg: 458
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 8/20/2006 3:21:37 PM
I don't have a doult about that one yes they can, been there done that many a times.
 Wraith67
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 459
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 8/21/2006 12:54:32 AM
I would have to say yes, women and men can be friends without sex. I have many women friends and it is a platonic deal. Of course, I have had women that were "friends with benefits" also. The important part is that you are honest in your friendship from the start and thru it's course. There will always be a point where a friend, of the opposite sex may initiate intimate contact. If you are the one that is initiating it, never be offended or feel spurned if she says that it would endanger your friendship. Respect how she feels and the comfort level that she wishes to keep the friendship at. By that same token, if you are a guy and friends with a gal that may turn to you for intimacy, you should make sure that it is not just a moment of emotional weakness on her part that she may regret later. Especially if there is alcohol involved and such.
Of course, there is generally a bit of harmless flirting involved betweem a guy and gal that are close friends but still never cross "that line". Flirting is actually kind of a way of validating that friend of the opposite sex, as long as it does not get to carried away...lol... It is sometimes nice when I'm feeling down to have a gal I know lightly flirt with me. I feel it is human nature to get a small ego boost when one of the opposite sex makes you feel you are attractive.
Anyways, I'm sorry to have written a book...lol...Just my thoughts...
 aquariussun
Joined: 6/28/2006
Msg: 460
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 8/21/2006 1:17:30 AM
I HAVE 2 GUY FRIENDS & HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT SEX WITH THEM, BUT DONT WANT TO LOSE THE FRIENDSHIP. SO YES...............BUT I WOULD NOT GO OUT WITH THEM IF I HAD A STEADY BF. NO WAY!!
 Wraith67
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 461
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 8/21/2006 2:32:20 AM
I fully agree with you on that, Detcam. You just managed to sum it up in fewer words than I could...lol
 Ms. Write
Joined: 8/9/2006
Msg: 462
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 8/21/2006 5:17:50 AM
But what if she got divorced and then told you that you were the love of her life?

I had a close male friend for 8 years that was interested in me. When he entered into a serious relationship he stopped calling. I was angry at the time because I only wanted to be friends, but the reality is his feelings were the issue, not mine. So, now I understand his decision.
 reddgrange
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 463
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 8/21/2006 4:13:47 PM
Absolutely, positively you can be friends with the opposite sex without any sexual contact. I've had a number of close female friends in which nothing physical EVER happened. My best friend I've ever had, who is now happily married and now just a distant friend (by my own choice), was a female and we were essentially joined at the hip for 5-6 years.

I have my own rule about opposite sex friends when dating or in a relationship. You can keep any opposite sex friends you had BEFORE the relationship started, but you can't make new ones. I feel that eliminates many accusations and future arguments. Actually, I've never really settled down with anyone where that became an issue.

I'm not saying ALL men and women have the ability to keep sex out of the equation (especially the men !), but I know firsthand that it's very possible. However, it's probably easier to do if there is no strong physical attraction for each other.
 YouRFireD131
Joined: 6/18/2006
Msg: 464
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 8/21/2006 4:35:18 PM
I know I can be, if she states this, and abides by it herself. I can get along with most any woman, provided we know where we stand. If she just wants to flirt and mingle with me, she is not a friend, she is a potential, pink slip. But is she is upfront and mindfull of what 'friendship' means, then I myself so no problems in being, just a 'friend' with a woman.
 wsrfr33
Joined: 6/16/2006
Msg: 465
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 8/31/2006 6:19:29 PM
Ditto here; I have had too many of them also.
 macron
Joined: 8/25/2006
Msg: 466
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 8/31/2006 6:28:43 PM
I think they can. Well I can anyhow. Maybe because I have all sisters might have something to do with it?
 beginer_tg
Joined: 8/28/2006
Msg: 467
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 8/31/2006 7:26:54 PM
yes has a few girl (friends )with whom i /we carry a great freindship along just fine with no sex involved...so ya i beleave men and women can do fine as friends......
 bdjones911
Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 468
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/2/2006 3:40:57 AM
My best friend of 30 years is a man. Our friendship has survived his three marriages and two divorces and my separation. For the past 22 years we have made it our business to get together for one weekend each year. At first, our spouses didn't agree because they didn't understand the bond he and I have. We've been there for one another through the loss of our parents, the loss of our grand parents, the loss of a child, a serious auto accident, you name it, we've been there. We have never been intimate and the thought never crossed my mind. He has been with me since were were 11 and 12 years old and like any sibling, I would not give him up for anyone.
 chirocrab
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 469
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/2/2006 10:12:22 AM
I absolutely agree men and women can be friends without sex. I have had plenty of male friends without sex included. Also I have remained very good friends with most of my ex boy friends. The only ones I no longer remain in contact with are those who were only in it for the sex and when that was over they were also. I prefer male friends over female because we dont have to compete for anything and (except for my gay male friends) they wont try to steal the man I am with.
When I was married I had male friends I went out with without my husband nothing ever happened. The only time anything happened was when I wanted it to and then I told my ex it would happen. And I chose a man who was not a friend at the time.
 Mother Nature
Joined: 8/8/2006
Msg: 470
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/3/2006 8:59:15 AM
yes they most certainly can.I have many male friends.I also prefer male over female but it's not about competiton it's the drama.men have different perspective of looking at things then females.When it comes to sexual inuendo's sure we'll play it up,but thats as far as it goes.I'm married and my friendships haven't changed,I go to concerts,bars,hell I even have sleepovers still rather than losing a friend to drinking and driving.My only concern would be is losing a friend to somewho who has him whipped and then after all that is said and done I'd still be here as a friend for him. I love to camp so when it comes to sharing my tent,and sleeping bag,no problem I guess I can even sleep with my friend but thats just it sleep,as sleep is defined!Believe it or not nothing happened to my teddy bear when I was young,nothing would happen to my male friend either!!!!!
 mar1970
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 471
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/3/2006 9:51:27 AM
YES, I believe men & women can be 'just' friends.
My very 1st best friend was a guy when I was 4 years old, lol.

Now, one of my very best friends is also a guy who I've known for about 20 years now. Nothing sexual has ever happened between us. We've been through just about everything together and I know we will always be friends.

As for when it comes to my boyfriend, when my friend and I get together, he trusts me, just as I would trust him with his female bestfriend. We also go out together, all of us. Nothing to hide here.

I guess I think that if you know your man has had female friends for awhile and he's honest about the relationships with them, you have to follow your own heart and instincts because if this is a real issue for you then maybe you will never be able to be with a man who has female friends.

WOW, that was a long sentence! sorry!

Anyway, good luck to you in your future relationships!
 KORT_RORPER
Joined: 4/21/2006
Msg: 472
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/3/2006 10:07:59 AM
They absolutely can be friends without sex. Been there, done that. The friendship between me and all my male friends are completely platonic. Although I do have to admit that one of them aren;t friends with me anymore because his wife didn't like the fact that we hung out together, but I thought that was unneccesary because I had been friends before they had even met.
 leo\leo
Joined: 1/17/2006
Msg: 473
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/3/2006 1:23:06 PM
she would have to be like a guy love the same thing like the war channel lol or video games
 babyblues302
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 474
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/3/2006 5:31:13 PM
I have some very very close single male friends. We are friends, nothing more we talk and give each other the support we need from the opposite sex questions and the like. Hopefully adults can be adults I have no problem with it. The way I figure it is I trust you, you have to look at you in the mirror, not me, and I will not fade away, because someone chooses to stray with a friend.....
 LuckyLady8
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 475
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/4/2006 10:59:57 PM
Of course they can! Lots of times you meet a great guy or gal who is not ringing your bell but that you like alot - as a friend - They are fun to talk to and perhaps spend some brief time with but there is no chemistry - the stuff that zoomz you - so you get together and talk about the peole in your life that really push your buttons and get feedback on what bugging you and whats good and such stuff - it's good to have positive "other" friends - but if they are trying to sway your feelings - watch out! Support is good - Control is bad!
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