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 seagirlgo
Joined: 8/9/2007
Msg: 824
Can men and women be friends without sex?Page 31 of 53    (13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53)
If anyone thinks that men and women can be friends I dare say they must be on another planet. We all start out when we meet each other with an attraction. One has it (the attraction) for the other, or visa versa. However, in the end whether you get together and 'it' ends and you become friends with the person, one of you will ALWAYS wants to 'get together ' in 'that way'. So I say 'give it up' there is no such thing as male /female friends......it is a primal instinct to mate, and it will always be. Just contact your subconscious mind and ask yourself if the person you think is your friend (opposite sex friend that is), really is a friend.
Sleep on it.
 iowan
Joined: 9/5/2007
Msg: 827
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/10/2007 1:33:35 PM
Yes they can be friends, no question.
 Harvey87
Joined: 9/6/2007
Msg: 828
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/13/2007 8:16:26 AM
I am a man, I have many female friends I don't sleep with, I don't want to sleep with.

That's it.
 ANGELPS
Joined: 8/11/2005
Msg: 829
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/13/2007 8:21:36 AM
Well...I have more male friends than female friends and I do NOT sleep with any of them...if I did it would ruin the friendship AND the friendship would be over..and the male friends I do have I want in my life so I would not mess it up and sleep with them..and no one has tried....they knew from the beginning NO SEX with me...friends only..so we all have an understanding...BUT..I am 51 years old I think younger women and men would..and HAVE!
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 830
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/13/2007 11:09:21 AM
Absolutely yes. Women (at least THIS woman) can have men who are friends, not lovers. Men are wonderful people. I have fabulous male friends. I don't know if they all want to be JUST friends, but you know what? That's too bad. That is what they are and I value their friendship. I adore my men friends and I wouldn't trade a single one of them for all the tea in China!!!!!
 livingquestion
Joined: 8/16/2007
Msg: 831
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/13/2007 12:25:46 PM
yes, only if they are both spiritually evolved individuals.
 bamelen
Joined: 8/15/2007
Msg: 832
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/13/2007 5:49:44 PM
My very best friend is someone I love. We are not in love but we love each other. She's amazing. Nearly all the benefits of a GF but no issues. No sex , but she has a boyfriend,lol. We go out every weekend at least one night and dance. I have never had anything other than a great time with her. She knows me better than anyone ever has. WE think alike and for almost everything we are on the same page. We both dance with lots of other people and there is never any jealousy . We express our affection with hugs and occassional chaste kisses because thats they way we both are. I have had other women I was interested in question our connection because our chemistry is both obvious and amazing to everyone. We will be friends for a long ,long time but very doubtful that sex will ever come up.
 echo*
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 833
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 10/29/2007 5:59:53 PM
My best friend is a straight man. We don't have sex. It bothers some of the men I date because they think it's a threat to them. I guess if I found the love of my life he'd become my new best friend. So maybe a different gender best friend only works if you haven't yet found who you're looking for yet.
 .Marc
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 834
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 10/29/2007 6:51:00 PM
^I believe that you can have multiple best friends at once.
Different friends serve different needs. (Sounds more utilitarian than it is meant to be.)

Even if I found someone who was the love of my life, who was my new best friend... I don't think that I'd need the old best friends any less. At least, that's been my experience.
 echo*
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 835
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 10/29/2007 7:03:53 PM
^ Excellent point.^
 livingquestion
Joined: 10/4/2007
Msg: 836
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 10/29/2007 7:22:52 PM
well, it depends on the individual.
With me it works because my male friends are intelligent enough to know that they cannot cross that boundary. If they weren't , they would not be my friends. Of course when I was younger and single, I did grant rare benefits, but now I see no point in doing that, unless of course I had found the one and he was also a friend, then it would become immediately something "exclusive". Interestingly enough, all my friends and I find each other mutually attractive. However, we are wise enough to establish boundaries and skilled enough to keep them. Too easy to be friends only with those you do not find attractive....What kind of Merit is in that?
 pretty_little_princess
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 837
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 10/30/2007 12:27:57 AM
No they can't, well not in my experience anyways. I've never had a close guy friend who has not at some point in time tried to make SOME kind of move.....even though it has rarely been a blatant sexual advance. It usually comes in the form of trying to sabatoge relationships, big time flirting, talking about how we would be great in a relationship together, or they have became completely resentful once I entered a long term relationship (or a combination of the above). They seem to wait for the opportunity, but will always make a move at some point. I've been hurt countless times by men pretending to be my friend. Once they are fully aware that there will never be any sex involved, they are gone for dust, and left me feeling fooled. Luckily I have many female friends have no need to make anymore male "friends".

The ONLY time I have had friendships with men has been either when they are a boyfriends friend, or one of my gild friend's boyfriends, and we all hang out together.
 Tiger_san
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 838
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 10/30/2007 12:52:53 AM
yup can be .. ..

i have a best foreign friend .. i know he wanted me to be his girlfriend or wife before but i have clearly told him i took him as brother .. from then we are now best friends hang out for fun share happiness and sadness ..

i also have some male friends we have known each other more than 16 years we slept in same bed but never happened anything ...
 fishbill
Joined: 3/19/2005
Msg: 839
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 10/30/2007 1:39:30 AM
"""yup can be .. """

They sure can! And I can own a cat without her kicking litter over the side of the box. I can have 6 beers and drive down the freeway at 80 mph and no one gets hurt. Some people like to play a fun game called "Russian Roulette" where you put one bullet in the magazine of a colt 45 and pull the trigger...Is that what you folks mean by "yes they can"? Or do you mean...."In very rare cases they can"? What do you mean?
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 840
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 10/30/2007 2:11:08 AM
Unfortunately, yes they can.
If there was any decency in this world it would be impossible.
But no, it's a very widespread practice.
 lonestardaddy
Joined: 11/18/2006
Msg: 841
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 10/30/2007 3:18:29 AM
lep, By referring to whomever as your ex-boyfriend, it would seem that you wanted to be more than friends when he might not felt so inclined to join you for what can be beneficial when both parties discuss and accept the possible consequences. To do it right, at least IMHO, both must come to some sort of mutual understanding and agreement for limits and liberties allowed. Trust is a must have.

As far as I'm concerned, I've found, met in-person, and keep making love w/ a woman I met here on PoF . She's not convenient for her touch and home-cooking, but is within a few keystrokes on my keyboard, she's w/ me here in spirit. That we can call one another for free at any time to talk doesn't hurt us. As a real friend, she's able to and does offer objective insights for what I'm being subjected to on my own here, and I'm here for her till she can be w/ me again. Yes, men and women can be friends w/o sex, but too many boys and girls tend to struggle w/ the absence and abstinence when apart. If your ex-b/f wants to date other women, let him be ...and go find yourself a man who's ready to be one w/ you ...and the one for you. One can never have too many friends unless they drink the same brand of beer and tend to drop by w/o bringing some to share, One can have too many lovers, as they really aren't a lover if they can't or don't want to attempt making something more meaningful grow from the sex between y'all.
 catabrie
Joined: 6/15/2007
Msg: 842
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 10/30/2007 12:46:03 PM
Op: Of course, different genders can be friends without sexual overtones - there is more to any relationship (even marriage) than sex... its a matter of trust, which seems that you didn't have in him (he may have given you reason, maybe not) ... I ask you this, if I may... WHY do YOU feel that any relationship between the genders must include sex?

Msg 71: Sleepless in Newmarket says: [ Don't fool yourselves. It happens to "friends" everyday. Hell, it has even been known to happen between two straight women. (No problem there) The only truly safe friendship is two straight guys. Rest assured, they won't be humping each other if their eyes meet. ]

As a straight woman who has never found herself in the situation you describe, I wonder how you can be so sure it couldn't happen between straight men (esp since they are more visual than we women regarding sex) - what applies to one gender applies to the other...

cata
 lizzy915
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 843
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 10/31/2007 4:59:44 PM
Yes they can be friends. I'm still friends with my ex. We don't have any sex at all.
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 845
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 11/1/2007 6:48:20 AM
RE: Msg 1083

Nothing wrong with being friends. I'm married and seeking friends for chat and occasional get-togethers. All good, clean fun.
 candolim
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 846
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 11/3/2007 3:51:45 AM
This has to be possibly one of the oldest questions, of course they can bit its all over once the sex pops its head up. If you have a good femail friend, no matter how much you may fancy a dabble, Dont as thats where the friendship ends, sad but true.
Friends with benefits ...... it dont work
 GoofyBlondeChic
Joined: 3/4/2007
Msg: 847
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 11/3/2007 4:23:30 AM
OP I noticed that this was your ex-boyfriend, which is a good thing. Trust is one of those crazy things to catch and keep. I have no qualms about having friends of the opposite sex. But it doesn't matter if they are trustworthy or not. There is always that potential there for sex. The most important thing to remember, is that this is your life and your relationship. If it doesn't feel right and you are getting no where with reasoning, it may be time to move on. The way that I see it, your ex was excluding you for a reason. I'm sorry to say that. I agree with one of the above posters that he could have included you in on some of his outings with "just friends". It doesn't seem right that he was hanging out innocently, while you are sitting at home. At least not to me. I do however, have a very evil side to me..Muaahhahahahha. I would have given him a taste of his own medicine to see how he would react. I wonder how he would have felt.
 DenaliDadd
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 848
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 1/9/2008 6:08:35 AM
Yes. My best friend is a female not related to me. But perhaps the realquestion is can a former lover can be a 'friend' -- not just "friendly," but a true call-in-the-middle-0f-the-night-to-cry kind of friend? Answer: Still yes.

 Just 4 You
Joined: 1/25/2005
Msg: 849
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 1/15/2008 6:03:41 AM
There's a few women I know who live together with a couple of guys and there's no sex involved. Maybe it's because the guys are gay, and the women seem to enjoy their female-type attitude. Imagine a gay guy telling her that what she's wearing on a date just won't do.
 rjpeagles
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 850
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 1/15/2008 6:29:28 AM
Can men and women be friends without sex?

Only after we've had sex at least once.
 classydetective
Joined: 7/19/2007
Msg: 851
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 1/15/2008 7:04:35 AM
OP unfortunately you are not alone. My ex-gf had a similar problem to me seeing and confiding in a close friend who happened to be a girl. I tried desperately to reassure her, but she wouldn't have it. At one point, I even gave in and told her that I'd cut off all contact with my friend, as my gf should come first. Fortunately she didn't have me do that outright, but she was never comfortable with the idea and ultimately that was one of the major problems that costed us the relationship.

My ex-gf used to be weary of my friendship with what was really a close friend. She thought that if this other girl was so dear to me, then I should date her instead as we would probably hit it off better. Well after my ex and me broke up, guess what, my friend was there for me. She picked me up when I was down, and said all the right things to me that only a friend can say. Yet even though we both were very single, even today, we still have been nothing but good friends. No romantic conotations about that.

So yeah a girl and a guy can be just friends. The way I see it, and unfortunately my ex-gf never saw this. I liked what I had back home, that no other girl at the time could come close. Unfortunately I never got that point across. I hope you don't let this happen to you OP.
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