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 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 1001
Can men and women be friends without sex?Page 41 of 53    (13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53)

Can men and women be friends without sex?


Yes they can, but it would depend on the woman and man in the friendship and what they value about the friendship, which doesn't include sex.

I have several male aquaintances, but only 2 that I would call a friend......one of them I have been friends with for 9 years and we chat a few times a year by phone because he lives in another city.
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 1002
view profile
History
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 12/17/2009 5:36:04 AM
This is another ancient thread...

Of course men and women can be friends without sex.
Take a look at facebook and see all of them.

I can't imagine anyone even asking this question...
and men who think it can't happen are missing out
and have problems if they think they have to
consumate every woman they know. sheesh.
 Juste moi Danielle
Joined: 7/8/2009
Msg: 1003
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 12/17/2009 5:45:23 AM
Of course they can. The thought that we can't consider a person, let alone approximately half the world's population as a friend because of their genitalia is ludicrous (to me).

 dot*
Joined: 10/9/2009
Msg: 1004
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 12/17/2009 7:28:46 AM
I love this question.

I have learned that while I can be friends with men, I can't be the REAL me. Otherwise sex gets in the way.

What I mean by this is that I'm:
-very affectionate
-very open to talk about *anything*
-a tomboy and a girly-girl.

I used to treat my male friends like my girlfriends. I'd hug them, call them "hun", "sweetie", etc. I'd open up to them about sexual topics (and once this happened, it's like it was *all* they wanted to talk about)...This was a good 6-7 years ago. At that time, a ton of my male friends confessed to having feelings for me. Am I surprised? Nope. I obviously led them on (unintentionally).

I have a ton more girlfriends than guy friends now, and the relationships I do have with my guy friends are very...superficial. We talk, we laugh...but I don't discuss anything sexual with them, I'm not verbally or physically affectionate with them, either etc.

So in the end, yes, I can be friends with guys. But I can't fully let go and be myself, or else my personality is (understandably) mistaken as me being interested in them. I prefer the way things are now.
 DaSparkling1
Joined: 9/10/2009
Msg: 1005
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 12/17/2009 10:47:57 AM
Of course men and women can be friends without sex. I know for me, as long as I never have sex with them, we can always be friends. If we have sex, then things change and I have yet to find a woman who has sex with me and then wants to remain just friends.
 yarisman1974
Joined: 7/14/2010
Msg: 1006
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 7/26/2010 6:23:13 AM
I fully agree with you on that. To me having a woman friend means I'll never get laid, and simply put I will be her emotional sponge and she has girlfriends for that. I've been there done it, and my love life suffered because of it, I am better off being friends with men because I can relate better and there are men out there who know what it's like to be successful dating the women men want.
 yarisman1974
Joined: 7/14/2010
Msg: 1007
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 7/26/2010 6:52:22 AM
Yes they can but the problem is the drama that can unfold on Facebook when men and women in a relationship have friends of the opposite sex message them, especially if there is attraction. Been there, done that, removed all my female friends except my sister, and simply better relate to men anyways.
 eastwood969
Joined: 12/21/2009
Msg: 1008
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 7/26/2010 7:48:33 AM
I think if you didn't see yourself as a fool then clearly you are a fool. You are not looking for the same thing as him in a relationship. It doesn't mean men can't just be friends with women, but in reality they can't if they are supposed to be in a relationship, so obviously you don't like the idea of him being friends with other women and it would be easy enough for him to tell the other women my girlfriend doesn't want me to talk to you. If he doesn't agree then add him to your enemies list. Also if you are having a hard time making your point clear then spray whip cream over your ass and tell him to lick it off until you are finished reading your book, and not to take any scope with him when he leaves the house cause you don't want him kissing other girls.
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 1009
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 7/27/2010 10:24:02 PM
Some of my best and closest friends have been women, and that's been the case since I was a young man. I was raised by women, and find pleasure in their company. With them, I don't have to fall into playing those "male games" men slide into.

There's only so much talk about sports, or that waitresses's cute butt that I can endure. Fun to do for awhile, but not my cup of tea for long periods of time.

So yes, it can be done easily.
 FunkTheMillenium
Joined: 7/11/2010
Msg: 1010
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 7/28/2010 4:15:07 PM
it has probably been said already about 50 pages back,

people have to know where to draw the line. guys have always got a plan, the female may unknowingly know that but they do.
few women could be convicted of this also but its not from my experience.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 1011
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 7/29/2010 1:22:07 AM
I can tell you after the relationship is over, there is no being friends

Honestly, If I am friends with a girl that I am not interested in sexually... it is because I am using her as bait so that other girls will put their guard down.
the wing girl affect.
 officegal_1
Joined: 7/25/2010
Msg: 1012
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 7/29/2010 8:02:15 PM
Yes. I have platonic relationships with some men.
 cherryyblossom
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 1013
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 7/30/2010 5:33:04 AM
i have a lot of female friends. we get along fine without sex.
 yarisman1974
Joined: 10/25/2010
Msg: 1014
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 10/31/2010 3:43:43 PM
Here is my take on this and this purely how I see it.

I used to think men and women can co-exist as friends, only if there is no sexual tension, the problem is to me it is almost next to impossible to remain friends, because at some point one or the other will develop feelings and hence attraction and then what? When it comes to relationships while it can be possible, it depends on the person. For me, male friends are the best for me because at least I can just be myself. When it comes to a woman I want more than friendship, because if that is all that comes out of it, and she'll never want more than friends....then it makes no sense to me anyways. A woman who has girlfriends doesn't need male friends because from experience, a woman who is a friend will simply tell me stuff as a man I don't need to hear and hence as a friend....I have male friends I can turn to for help and advice...when it comes to dating, having women as friends only is not a good idea for me because that will prevent me from forming a relationship with a woman, and having exes as friends...BAD IDEA.....stay away and at best cut your losses and move on. Trying to be friends with an ex when there was an emotional and sexual attachment will kill any chances men and women to form new relationships. I am changing how relationships and friendships work for me, because if I don't......then I will continue to miss out on a woman who can be possible relationship material.

I value my male friendships forever. A female friendship for me these days simply doesn't work anymore. To each their own and I don't judge anyone's friendships, I know for me a woman to simply be a "friend" is waste of time. All I will be is an emotional sponge and she has girlfriends for that. She wants a MAN.
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 1015
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 11/1/2010 4:46:21 AM
Yaris:

If that is the case, then the romantic feeling was there at the very start. In my case or cases from the very beginning, the male friendships were very platonic. There is no hugging and kissing whatsoever.
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 1016
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 11/1/2010 5:22:31 AM
I used to think so, I don't think so anymore.

Just had another male friend do a melt-down on me. I'm tired of losing friends this way, I'm going to hang out with the girls from now on.
 Zinn02115
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 1017
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 11/1/2010 2:28:14 PM
Yes it is possible. I have quite a few female friends and few male friends. Of course with the women sometimes your mind does wander and you can't help but notice how attractive a female friend may be. I also think you can be friends with sex...which was the case with a friend of mine a few years ago.......but that's just me.
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 1018
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 11/1/2010 3:16:46 PM
I have quite a few female friends and few male friends. Of course with the women sometimes your mind does wander and you can't help but notice how attractive a female friend may be.
That's basically reinforcing that it's generally not ideal and so why choose a 'friendship' which inherently comes with built in problems over one that's comparatively simple? (AKA friends of the same gender). If a guy has a seemingly endless well of women to draw from and is never for want of a romantic relationship then yeah maybe that guy can have some female "friends" though I'd think they would probably be more 'acquaintances' than friends. This is the central conundrum: If a guy likes a woman enough to be her 'friend' and they do all the things real friends do why would he NOT want to take it to the next level? Exactly...he WOULD! There are some things that would prevent this; among them: marital status, she's lesbian, he's gay.

52 pages of this.......stop the madness people. It's like someone who keeps punching a brick wall bare fist thinking this time it will hurt less and I'll break through... Some people must desperately want what they think is on the other other side to do that to themselves...
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 9/19/2010
Msg: 1019
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 11/1/2010 3:21:48 PM
Yes. Next question?


seriously... it is actually a lot easier for them to be friends without sex than it is for them to be friends without there developing some kind of intimacy; which sometimes can be as emotionally compelling as sex... and just as damaging to other relationships...


That's why people that enter friendships to "intimately share" with someone with no intention of cheating oftentimes find themselves falling in love with the person (they have all the good and none of the bad; since they only see the good and caring and sharing parts of each other, not the everyday warts everyone has), and say that oft-told line "I didn't MEAN to fall in love with them... it just happened"...


but it could not have happened without knowingly going into something where both talked about emotionally intimate things, and letting the other person in a place that oftentimes one keeps one's own loved one out of...



though it is also possible to have "platonic brother-sister" freinds too; the kind you have a beer with and play darts with; where there is nothing remotely intimate; it is two people hanging out; talking about everything and nothing and enjoying time just like a girlfriend (if one is a girl, or a fellow guy if one is a guy).


so think it's easier to be friends without sex than it is to be friends with certain people without intimacy of the emotional kind.
 MzSweetCheeksT
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 1020
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History
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 11/1/2010 6:16:34 PM
Yes, men and women can be platonic friends. Majority of the men I've dated more than once have remained friends with me. However, I've had several ex's express their concern with my male friends. Although, I didn't end my friendships, I made the decision to limit my interactions with my men friends, so it wouldn't cause conflict in the relationship. If you have an issue with your man spending so much time with female friends, let him know.
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 1021
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 11/1/2010 8:46:20 PM
done to death....but just to add another done to death statement...here it goes...

a man can ONLY be friends with a women if any of following applies....

1. He is gay
2. He is not attracted to you sexually or romantically
3. He is getting sex from someone else he feels is better than you

People love to dispute this....but its the truth....
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 1022
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History
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 11/1/2010 8:46:34 PM

but as soon as the football game goes on, and the poker game begins ..and the dirty jokes go flying around the room... the boys club begins. Lets see how they hold onto the word "friendship" after that.

Hmmm.......I hold on just fine thank you!
And I host these Football/Poker games at my own house regularly!
And I'm usually the first one to tell the dirty joke
Been doing it for quite a few years and haven't fuked the 1st one of them yet!
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 1023
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 11/1/2010 9:25:34 PM
Hmmm.......I hold on just fine thank you!
And I host these Football/Poker games at my own house regularly!
And I'm usually the first one to tell the dirty joke
Been doing it for quite a few years and haven't fuked the 1st one of them yet!
Sports and dirty jokes? That's many mens wheelhouse so that's no surprise at all. That doesn't mean your situation is commonplace though. Also try proposing them when they are vulnerable (drunk..been alone forever...have decided to eat dry catfood instead of human food etc) and see what they say. It's condition dependent. Drunk and/or lonely same gender hetero friends don't exactly have that vulnerability. That's the big difference.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 1024
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 11/2/2010 4:47:04 PM
There's at least three different scenarios wrapped up in that question:

1) Can men and women come together with the express purpose of a non-sexual relationship? Sure, but why bother? I have no need for a "friend" who won't back me up in a bar fight...

2) Can a man be friends with a woman after he's expressed romantic interest in her, and she has made it clear that she does not reciprocate (i.e., she's savaged his ego and wounded his pride, and is offering "friendship" as a consolation prize... )? Probably not.

3) Can a man and a woman go from a sexual relationship to a non-sexual relationship that involves close friendship? Absolutely not (you'll hear from women who say they're "best friends" with their former lovers; very little questioning is required to discover that their definition of "friends", is what most men would classify as "people whom it wouldn't be worth beating up"... Seriously, many of women's so-called "friends", are what guys would call "passing acquaintances").

Decide which question you're asking before you pretend to know the answer...

Dr. ES...
 MarriedMommy
Joined: 10/3/2010
Msg: 1025
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 11/2/2010 5:08:27 PM
I believe that they can.

My husband and his ex gf are still friends. Actually we are all 3 friends and her 18 year old son calls my husband dad because he does not have a father figure in his life. I'll admit the first time he referred to him as dad I was a bit taken back..the boy is 1/2 black... Long story.

His ex gf lives 3 houses down from us and has been totally supportive of our whole relationship because she sees that he is happy.
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