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 franke
Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 112
Can men and women be friends without sex?Page 5 of 53    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
lord, lord, lord,
I can't control the fact that I am sexually attracted to someone it's just a fact of life, I can't control the fact that I may also care about them as a friend. Perhaps I was attracted to them physically first and as a person second or perhaps I was attracted to them as a person and then came to be physically attracted them either way I am attached and always because I trust them and they trust me. I'm with tdh - denying it doesn't make it not true. I don't have sex with 90% of these people because the circumstances in our lives don't work or the time wasn't right..etc. But I would never quit being friends with someone because I think being more intimate was a possiblity, I just choose to not let those feelings lead my relationships with my friends. If I am thinking of what I want or need then that is not always easy, but if I am thinking of my friend then it is a lot easier. The only person responsible for my choice to have sex with whoever, friend, casual acquaintance or other is me. If I have to make certain rules for myself like aquarian, then that is what I have to do for myself but I don't expect that everyone else has to cope the same way as me. However, I do expect that my friends and lovers take responsibilty for their sexual desires too.
 caddyman1
Joined: 9/1/2005
Msg: 113
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/15/2005 9:18:47 PM
wow you were stupid to beleave that one ,i never thought women were stupid. i would have went out and paid for a few men to take me out, just as friends and had them pick me up in front of him. and tell him oh these guys are just friends like your girls are yours see, ya baby have a good night and do not wait up for me because i do not know what time i will be home. bye and get in the car with them ask them to take you around the corner and go to your girlfriends house for the night but do not tell him . and see what his reaction would be when you got home the next day.i bet it would stop him from going out . then tell him what you can go out with your friends and I cant go out with mine thats not fair.
 caddyman1
Joined: 9/1/2005
Msg: 114
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/15/2005 9:22:19 PM
the best way is to ask her if she would like to go with you and take her once she see's that nothing is going on with anyof them then she might trust you women know if one or all of them want you so ask her to join you all next time you go out .
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 115
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/15/2005 9:41:22 PM
But we are being told to trust each other, nothing bads gonna happen, life isnt all about procreation, is it? If a few people trust a few other people, then bring it on! Free for all! No more rules, no discipline, no respect for our partners feelings, even if they try to keep them hidden so we dont dump them if they say anything for not trusting us. I had a friend who had a friend who didnt have sex with someone. Isnt that proof enough? And I aint even Amish.
 Lazyboyz
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 116
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/15/2005 9:52:54 PM
When my girlfriend/fiance returns to my city and moves in with me next June, the plan is to go to Whistler for a party/introduction to all my friends. My friends are her's too. She needs a few girlfriends to start her life in this city. And of course my friends husbands are welcome as well....the more the merryer.

Procreation: in a strictly Christian sense is about populating the earth, but God gave you a brain, gave you judgment, critical thinking, control - we are not animals that can't control ourselves. Yes, some people are not able to control anything about their lives, their libido, their anger....but I don't use them as a guide to how I conduct myself because simply them people are wacked.
 carribeanking7
Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 117
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/15/2005 9:55:02 PM
Quote : But we are being told to trust each other, nothing bads gonna happen, life isnt all about procreation, is it?

Yes I agree, sometimes it is recreation.


OT -
Fact # 1 : Friends do become lovers sometimes.
Fact # 2 : Many lovers also have remained friends long after they ceased being lovers.
Fact # 3 : Many of the opposite gender also have perfectly platonic relationships.

If you cannot see a person as human first and gender 2nd....you have not evolved much.
 Lazyboyz
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 118
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/15/2005 10:13:46 PM
TDH: Franke also talks about "choices." We make choices everyday. Choices are based on
judgement. If you lack judgement you will face consequences. If you make wrong choices
you have bad judgement - and if you can't trust your judgement, then how can you expect
anybody to trust you?

I trust myself....I don't EVER worry that tommorow morning I'm going to change into this
snake and start hitting on my friends. LOL

But I'm not here to judge you or anybody else. I know who I am and what I'm about
and I know my friends and they know me. I will lead my life without fear....as long as
I can keep my gf away from you.
 smith2267
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 119
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/15/2005 10:25:17 PM
Yes, some of them can.
OTOH, cheaters use this line a lot.
You don't trust him, obviously...so something's wrong in the relationship, even if he is being faithful.
 Lazyboyz
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 120
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/15/2005 10:32:00 PM
Yep, I believe so....totally agree with her but only after you recognize a problem; you
deal with it then and there. You don't euthanize your friendships because you
predetermined their guilt before they've commited a sin.

Let me make this clear to you: I DO NOT HIT ON MY FRIENDS. Honestly,
she's right about keeping control of yourself. But through her own
experiences she's stated quiet clearly - once your friend betrays you
or your gf - your next action is clear....you end that friendship. How is this
conflicting with my arguement? I TOTALLY agree with her statement
 Lazyboyz
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 121
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/15/2005 10:49:59 PM
some errors in my post - but the message is clear.

Just called my BUDDY (girl) asked her about what was said here. She said
she'd never do anything to jeopardize our friendship - I'm sure her husband
is relieved as well LOL - Her husband asked me if my GF had big breasts though LOL
 Lazyboyz
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 122
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/15/2005 11:18:47 PM
Sure, but if you're in it for a very very long time - for me with one it's been 8 years, it
doesn't cross the mind....if there was a fleating moment from the beginning, it's gone now.

I was actually having the battle with Aquarium, mostly.

Go read his posts.
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 123
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/15/2005 11:20:15 PM
I just cant get it out of my head, the 50% of the western world is getting divorced! Isnt that stunning, to think of the trust and promises 50% of the people made? FIFTY PERCENT! We aren't talking about few loosers and cheaters, we are talking about FIFTY PERCENT of the people you and I once "trusted" and "respected". Someone said 2/3 thats 66% of marriages end in divorce. At least, MY GF "thinks" I wont be hanging around other women if they are "my friends". She would hate it if I just came out and advertised I was hanging around "female friends" (but I could be part of the 50% of the planet, she just doesnt have to be "paranaoid" in the meantime) Anyone else? And She now knows why her "male friend" was doing her all those chores and fix it jobs. AT least I taught one person the meaning of committment (OK maybe I didnt teach her anything, but she's seen the light). FIFTY PERCENT!

So yes I agree with everyone, men and women can be friends. Some dont even need to have sex or think about. But, why take a chance. Be committed though. God didnot intend for men and women to hang around each other in private UNLESS....I dont think Buddhists even approve of women tempting men. But I love being tempted!
 Lazyboyz
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 124
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/15/2005 11:59:54 PM
Let me just add this: many men and women who are getting married have no business getting married in the first place. Western culture has major issues....these people are in it for the glitz, pomp and trend....many of these people can't even raise a child right let alone keep their relationships together. After I broke up with my last girlfriend 15 YEARS ago, I met many different women - it took 15 YEARS to find someone worthy of calling my gf. The clincher was she was trustable!

Never trust anybody under 25 as a general rule
 smith2267
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 125
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/16/2005 12:51:46 AM
>>many men and women who are getting married have no business getting married in the first place.

YOu got that right.
 columbusohioguy
Joined: 10/4/2004
Msg: 126
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/16/2005 4:41:46 AM
Yes they can be friends but ........ come on if you have a girlfriend/boyfriend and you are going out with only one friend of the oppisite sex then your bf/gf might have a good reason to call it a conflict of interest in that relationship. I think its time for people to think about something besides sex, we already have enough STD's going around.
 queenrhiannon
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 127
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/16/2005 7:14:01 AM
I agree many people getting married have no business doing so - but a lot of it has to do with bad choices, and having a little 'package' on the way. Again - its all about choices, control and knowing who you are with. Alot of people jump into marriage for the thrill of being married, and other non thought out reasons.

AGAIN - (this is the last friggin time i am saying this) - if men friends are like my brothers, and i am like their sister - isn't wanting to jump in the sac together sick? AND AGAIN most of my male friends I have had since we were children, the others for 15 - 20 years - if thats all they were interested in - I think they would have given up by now.

And when I am dating someone - I bring my male friends and boyfriend together, for I have nothing to hide (and neither do they). And I get a good perspective of it all. I have been warned by my 'brothers' in the past as to what the guy was really like, I ignored, and voila - heart broken - because they saw something that I couldn't see - and it wasn't because they wanted to break us up - its because they are VERY PROTECTIVE of me, and want to see me truly happy. The reverse side of the coin, I have met some of their girlfriends, and I have gotten along with most of them. And I was able to give this one friend of mine the scoop on this one girl - who was all over other men at the club, and even disappeard in the parking lot with one of them. I told him to watch out, and he did end the relationship. I didn't tell him because I wanted to jump him - I told him because i care for him, respect him and I didn't want to see him full into this and get his heart ripped out.

YOu can care about someone of the opposite gender, and not have sex on the mind 24 hours a day. Especially in 15 years, you grow out of that 'club set' mind.
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 128
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/16/2005 9:08:54 AM
Its hard to say whats normal, personally, I wouldnt mind having sex with my sister even if she wasnt hot since her bedroom is right next to mine More people need to have an open mind and stop being so narrow minded about relationships. Who thinks up these restrictive rules?
 queenrhiannon
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 129
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/16/2005 10:00:43 AM
You just prooved you are sick and in desperate need of help!
 OnTheBus
Joined: 9/12/2004
Msg: 131
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/16/2005 11:34:05 AM
Yeah, they can be friends without sex. ONLINE
 queenrhiannon
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 132
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/16/2005 12:32:28 PM
Its not even worth wasting our words anymore - if thats what you think - then you will never have the ability to have a real friendship with a woman.

I have my male friends, who I respect and care for - as they do me
Thats all that matters, peoples opinions who dont have a clue - doesn't.
 queenrhiannon
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 133
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/16/2005 12:47:34 PM
but according to aqua - that means that we are freaks -
some people just don't get it...
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 134
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/16/2005 12:48:57 PM
ognib45 Watch it, buddy...you're in my state!!! hahaha Hey, don't go threaten ME with a good time!! hahaha
 queenrhiannon
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 135
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/16/2005 12:51:38 PM
LOL thats a call out if I ever saw one :)
 bean01
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 136
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/16/2005 1:06:48 PM
Yes they can and I'm streaking through the forums
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 137
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Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/16/2005 1:47:11 PM
Fernicus, just because you and millions of other people have intimate desires for their friends, doesnt mean a few rare cases shouldnt negate the rule. Theres always a few who dont think they need rules. Its the millions of others we could try to help, the normal people.
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