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Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 301
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wings of faithPage 13 of 36    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36)
dear buttrfly girl
i hear your pain
sweetness one
i hope for you
this will not
cause you any
faltering of or in
acceptance & knowing
of yourself true
open and daring

flying soaring soon
i hope to read of
your love for self
until then please
know not everyone
would hurt you
or abuse your most
beautiful vulnerabilities
for those are too
part of what makes
each of us ourselves

only the strongest
and bravest of brave
can face our fears
straight on openly
honestly with love
hope and faith
to carry on
our lives belong
to us to dare

i know your wings
are strongly dipped
in faith and real
so now i'm sending you
hugs for your heart
till you see more clearly
my beautiful daring
strong and brave
winged southern sister

i too feel
myself caged
of a different sort
my own creation
pain i'm feeling

yet my mind
taking me to
other places

this inflammatory pain
is but a symptom
perhaps psychosomatic
by my current
state of mind
reminding me
nudging me
screaming out
to me
to be nicer
to me
as i too
hope somehow
you can find
you can make
you can take
the time
to be nicer
to yourself

hoping tomorrow
is more gentle
easier on both of us

hoping tomorrow
we are more gentle
easier on ourselves

so that we may find
joy in our lives again
and not just in
those temporary bits
of laughter in our day

i wander into thoughts
of the upcoming weekend
i meditate on laying
in the warmth
of the sun kissing me
healing me inside out
healing me outside in
swirling around me

i will certainly appreciate
the passing of this pain
so i can get back
to the business of
really living life again
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 302
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missing two friends
Posted: 2/8/2007 10:55:23 PM
missing autumn
and lucid too
me, selfishly sad
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 303
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Posted: 2/10/2007 10:10:46 AM
now 53 degrees
low of 48
high to 68

i craved sun
to loll and roll
about in
on the rocks
scenes burnt
into my mind
yet to unfold

i wanted a trip
from this time
to new spaces
yet undefined
ghost towns
gem quarries

hot springs
to play in as
i could pretend
myself lizard goddess
stretching upon rocks
near clear waters
well hey it IS
my own mind
'n my own life

instead now
right here i sit
two days freedom
stretching before me
bidding me creativity
bursting possibilities

iridescent bubbles
yet to be blown
spun glass or clay
waiting to be thrown
paintings unfinished
pictures to take
meals to be made
adventure of journey
beckoned to take

my spaces are clean
my laundry all done
little car is clean
and full of gas now
sitting in it's home
readying to roam

i sit savoring
blueberry pie
on blue china plate
earl grey tea sweet
almonds too
simple breakfast
medicine for
physical pain
days ahead of me
memories to make

this gemini mind
swirling with choices
i'm liking this life
appreciating today
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 305
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Posted: 2/16/2007 7:13:14 PM
amielle, i wish he was yours, too; he seems like a nice lil guy; thanks for sharing.

i wanted to let everyone know i haven't been posting so much lately because of the pain; though i was diagnosed with a concussion a few weeks ago, it was only today confirmed i have whiplash too. the pain and dizziness has kept me from posting per my usual self, but i want to thank those of you who've kept in touch via email for all your kindness and well wishes, so very appreciated. i am pretty frustrated with myself for not being able to articulate very well and with my body for not enduring the pain better. i guess it's a wake up call to value and treasure each moment more fully.

hoping all of you are at the beginning of a wonderful and fabulous weekend!
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 306
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sweet ad
Posted: 2/16/2007 8:07:25 PM
you dear, are perfect exactly as you are!
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 307
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thank you roo
Posted: 2/17/2007 5:48:41 AM
roo, welcome and thanks so much for posting this here; loved it very much!
(but i find myself getting my strangest thoughts with others!)

Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 308
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grace of healing
Posted: 2/17/2007 6:28:07 AM
thanks due to mt now
for following inspiration
i found somehow via an email
kind and regressed but sincere
time to accept people and things
as they are, again~ including me
having lost my strengths
physical emotional and too
lost my high tolerance of pain
i can only still work and pray
to find myself, my me again

if only the suggested
band aids or several hundred
would do the awesome trick
fix the concussion n whip
lash well then i'd be
sitting; painless n pretty happy
and full of joy and wonder
again; i really do miss me

i love some challenges
so now i gotta figure out
how to get em in
my brain and my thinking
my neck and shoulders too
even down into my arms
alleviate this constant pain
fix whiplash quicker here
slowly finding working ways
winding somehow back to me
if not well thats a fear indeed
but i'm not one to shirk from fear
but sneak up on it or face it squarely

but i've learned now it's time instead
and patience i guess; high time finally
i learned me some o that daily bread
especially concerning myself you see
some physically grueling but oh so
direly needed/wanted physical therapy
oughta work just really fine too

now with bits of this n that above
i hope and pray to somehow soonest
one day return to becoming again
myself dropping off the most frustration
of also having lost or hopefully just misplaced
some pieces of my short term memory

dizzy dizzy dizzy yeah really dizzy here
having as i walk to reach out to steadying walls
so as to break these multiple potential falls
big too, is my self inflicted known frustration
humbly at lacking usual old articulation
oh yeah i'm humbled again to my knees
accepting parts will be what they will be

who knows? too soon still to tell
but perhaps i'll improve myself
in ways i never even ever
thought possible before
trauma and deep injury
has it's way of changing
folks a lot like you n me

but i'll keep on trying
working hard trying not
to resort to crying
known sign of weakness
and i ain't giving up
can't do but only that
try try try try try try more
and then, damn; wait n see!
thanks for lovely thoughts
given to me; again very appreciated
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 309
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learning acceptance
Posted: 2/17/2007 11:57:30 AM
i'm still believing, still a bit reeling
i knew i was hurting with a concussion
just didn't know the rest till yesterday
but now i've had a really good night's rest
and need more of the same to pass this test
a reminder to slow down and enjoy life
will surely help me to throw out some my strife

alternately hating the pain and the dizzy
trying hard to not hold on to this tizzy
this waa waa i'm needing some good ole gris gris
lotions n potions i'm searching for now
grateful beyond words it wasn't worse
or costing me money i have not in my purse
the best ways of learning are acceptance methinks
reminded of blessings from friends near and far
with prayers sincere i'm finding my way back to truth
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 310
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Posted: 2/17/2007 7:51:23 PM
i know
it's a special day
for you and your
very special
beautiful princess

thoughts of you
ran round my mind
today and i've
been hoping
you're both
doin fine

i'm wondering
what you
if anything
to do

it was
or wasn't~
i do
hope you
ended up
now feeling
more than fine

a special day
i hope you
know whatever
you both
Joined: 11/5/2006
Msg: 311
a place for us novices...
Posted: 2/18/2007 7:59:05 PM
simple things unfold for me, like life, and love, and tragedy
in retrospect I'm told you see, that life's not what it seems to be
I'm fortunate to know you now,perhaps you can show me how
to see things in a different light, just like you, a beautiful sight!

I am new to poems as well,read my words can you not tell?
So thankful I am to be here, to express my thoughts sincere,
I am blessed in many ways, to be with you here today,
concentrate on what I say, and you will smile again some way!

It's different for me to do,compose alll new words for you
Hope you find it in your heart, to recognize a brand new start,
Open up your heart my friend, receive this special message I send
know that I am new to this, appreciation is my bliss!
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 312
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fallen angels
Posted: 2/19/2007 9:32:37 PM
roo! thank you for sharing both herein; i hope your friend heals faster with realizing she has such a good friend on her side.

califlorida, welcome to you; very much enjoyed your lines, i hope you feel free to return anytime. ('n no, i don't think it's obvious that you are new to poetry; not by your lines!)

today i received some
very concise
good advice~
an acknowledgment
from far far away
although i believe
when it comes
from a sincere heart
for therein lies
no distance
between those
of like and similar mind

assertively directed
via email a new mantra
like a whisper
but not

you have to
listen to your instinct

oh trust me please
when here i say
i listen all right
both day and night

if or when i began
to suspect untruths
riddles in pontification
that's precisely when
i stop listening
for exactly then
i have my own
kind of proof

some folks
can fool others
some folks can even
fool themselves
fraught ensconced in denial
hope springs eternal
till trust is misplaced
here there anywhere
this isn't judgment
but more in keeping
safe this heart

not about paranoia
either; but about
being smart
in matters regarding
maintaining integrity
not so hard to do

when or if i somehow
feel those familiar
red flags hitting my face
that's right when
i retreat to an about face
returning me to
my own known self's vows
not to be used
nor allow myself either
to be used as a tool
because that only succeeds
then both of us made fools

no matter how many times
they might refer to me
in their subliminal rhymes
for some that are hidden
clearly have something
desperate within to hide

sometimes it's clear
straight away
others more clever
gain only time as they play
but it always comes out
for truth is subjective
and our own choices
of responsibility
to others and selves
prove that quite succinctly

don't pee on my leg
and tell me it's raining
comes to mind
we are all only
as good as our word
our golden rules
to uphold
even if whispered
just to ourselves
better to be simply
cloistered away
than lied to any day
and kept safe from
avoidable harm's ways
cupid sure loves
to set sights
targets and aim
as a sport or as
some sort of play

true angels don't mislead
you or me unless of course
they are of the fallen variety
then they deserve prayers
for their in~limbo souls
Joined: 10/6/2005
Msg: 313
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triplebp (2/17/07).....soft how I missed this I'll never know..
Posted: 3/2/2007 8:25:01 PM
My gosh "J" how I missed this I'll never know
I did get your letter that day although
Where was my mind probably drifting away
With the thoughts of in my mind of memories sway
Your heart's tenderness touches my soul
With all of the beauty and kindness you dole
I thank you for your tender thoughts
Wonder about the what ifs and what nots
As you know the clock continues to count down
To the day I am no longer legally bound
When that day comes I'll pray for the best
That an end will come to this great quest

Thanks for the thoughts my friend
Sorry I missed this once again!

Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 314
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back with a vengeance
Posted: 3/2/2007 11:44:36 PM
uprising through the vortex
healing sojourn of past
to my me

i'm back people
feeling your lines
feeling your writes
in this, my empty city
my gushing heart
my home
renewed faith
renewed home
renewed soul
at this very moment
devoid of physical pain
do you know how
much i truly love
each of you
for your expression
your daring
your voxes spreading outward
in this simplest of threads?!?
i dare breathe
you cannot fathom
my upswing
my resurgence
my returning
and all that means
to me

wealth of spirit
sailing onward
uprising through
surface of desert
once an ocean
now a quiet kindness spirit
kissing my wounds
healing me without salaciousness
a new kind of meaning
mnemonic memory
return to self
thanking each of you
for allowing me breath
my needed inner sanctim
a deeeeep and long breath
i am home
i am grateful
i feel the thousand blessings
healing kisses
reading these lines herein
i can only be grateful
my own voice returned

thank you; deeply too
yes, each of you
for deeply touching this
my soul
proper words escape me
excepting those of thanks
for keeping this thread alive
in absence of my
physical and emotional self
now returned
i thank each of you
i embrace each of you
for being wholly YOU
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 315
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broken glass
Posted: 3/3/2007 12:30:59 AM
apri, you could never be the conduit
of such a thing as broken glass
for you are weightless
you are intangibly felt
without sharp edges

although we all fall prey
to assaulted mirages
i know this all too well
in this city of sin
this dry desert
for herein i myself
am not what anyone could
ever confuse with the word

or broken glass
for that matter
and neither
or would
you be
upon inward reflection
forgetting the mirrors
forsaking the smoke
i rise with strength
as a soul reborn
and i know
you do the same
each and every day

broken glass
for that is
the favorite sound of my lover's
ex spouse in her delirium
my favorite sound
is his breath
is his voice
is his singing to me
is his sighs

perhaps yet far away
yet comfort reigns
in knowledge
of our return
to each other
to one another
a small word
holding such vast meaning
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 316
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still the little bird chirps
Posted: 3/4/2007 6:21:44 AM
my little bird friend
again reappears
at my front window
chirping announcing
day's dawn
after last night's
full moon eclipse
i wonder if the bird
saw it's glory too

the happy chirps now
somehow comforting me
as did that tiny mouse
in our island home
you swore was non existent
that is, until i left you
so many years ago alone

oh then you proclaimed
he too, comforted you
you said so over the phone
and in letters too
i still have each tucked into
big beautiful boxes
in fact so many have i
their numbers many
necessitated my
buying several more
just to house them safely

long gone now
some gifts from you then
silken white pajamas
with woven silver threads
the black lace torn
from my lithe body
the ivory bracelets too
but deep within my me
as i am intricately woven
into you by your admission
my heart carries yours
your heart carries mine
knowing will see us through

a woman at work
just last week
looked at me
and said oh so seriously
how hard that must be
feeling this way
about each other
you and he so far apart
and for such a long long time

it didn't take a second thought
this, our current situation
as i looked deeply into her eyes
and sincerely shook my head
she had no clue whatsoever
of the magnitude of us
it was comforting
i tried simply to explain
just the knowing one day
for now is so much more than
just simply enough
we'll be together again
we have another chance
to bestow our cherished gifts
to relive and phoenix ourselves
the choice and chance
to be one together again
so perhaps later than sooner
matters not to me

how much more difficult
i thought, to instead have
a life and choices as hers
confused but desperate
to decide to be with one
she hadn't full depth of feeling
nor understanding excepting
and accepting instead of
merely that of pushing away
the isolation and feelings
of being alone and not
being ok with that
but doing it anyway
because it is familiar
because it is comfortable
for her, for him

i could never just settle
as did she by her own admission
instead i'm feeling sincerely
blessed to just know one day
when it and we come together
more than fire will be reborn

and still that little bird chirps
it's enigmatic cryptic song
and i smile a knowing smile
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 318
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Posted: 3/4/2007 1:53:13 PM
naked, but wrapped
right now here in only this
softest green blanket

just this past week
returning of year's worth
satiation anew
and now tonight
confirming another reason
to have further memories
tomorrow formed of tonight

emails flashing
back n forth
cubs still behind
but i doubt not
my ability
to provide dinner
roast garlic chicken
per your request
one of my famous salads
with greek olives
i always have around
as you wish

a bath n back rub
solace for you
to forget your worries
as i forget mine
knowing just knowing
we'll take each other
to a place well worth
this anticipation

reservations confirmed
precisely 6pm to inhale
your scent to greet you
once again at my door
to this night begin
which first, bath or dinner
matters not for i well know
eventually comfortably we
will tend to our needs
familiarly as is our way
Joined: 10/6/2005
Msg: 319
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of a gentle smile
Posted: 3/4/2007 7:26:09 PM
Let’s pretend the stars will always shine
People will love and the world will be fine
Let’s pretend that the world is at peace
Full of beauty where love would never cease
Let’s pretend that all poverty would erase
And leave this world without a trace
Let’s pretend that we have never hurt
Been broken or made to feel like dirt
Let’s pretend we have never been sad
Cried out in anger or never been mad
Let’s pretend that we are twenty-five
With knowledge of today allowing us to thrive
Let us see through the eyes of this time
Brushing away distaste and leaving the sublime
Let us just pretend if only for awhile
That life is like the beauty, of a gentle smile

Joined: 10/6/2005
Msg: 321
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of a gentle smile
Posted: 3/5/2007 9:03:02 PM
Oh i wish i could write something like that..that is really good!

Thanks Amielle I have enjoyed some of yours as well and I am truly humbled by your praise!

Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 322
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he is
Posted: 3/9/2007 1:59:30 AM
sincere thanks to each of you for leaving your inspiration herein this thread, i am humbled.

again that evil
ugliness of past returned
much of last year
he spent in hospital

life was taken over
by everything
tests and tubes
shots and yes
dreaded but necessary

separated from
his friends
his siblings
his father
receiving treatment
in another state
mother never leaving
his side

her life too
taken up with
constant worry
ever faithful
never wanting
him to see her fear
she tended
as mothers do
and after ten or so months
he was given
a clean bill of health
an escape
back to his home
to begin a new start
weak and unsure
but grateful too

home he was
for a joyous Christmas
his young siblings
not yet old enough
to comprehend
the whys and wherefores
they simply
could not understand
why he was weak
why he was tired
why he was unable
to do all the things
he once used to

immune suppressed
care still needed
to avoid crowds
to avoid germs
to avoid people
a constant watch
still cut off from life
meant a movie out or
hitting a few golf balls
with dad was a treat

mom was there
as always
and loving
full of faith
full of hope
full of love

they had
not even
three months

just last week i'm told
this strong woman
looked at her eldest son
once again he was
covered in bruises
it was time so

back to doctor
they went
another ambulance
again into
emergent care
remission not his
situation even more
critical than realized

while he is like every other
thirteen year old young man
still he is like no other
thirteen year old young man

mother coaxes him to eat
but he cannot even for her
yet still he says with a sigh
i am sorry but please
i am not hungry, mom

even now he remains polite
throughout all this he endures
his beautiful soul knowing things
we cannot know

he is tired
he is weak
he is bored
he has been cheated
of what many of us
take for granted
he humbles me
he inspires me
he evokes emotions
in me from afar

facing now
in this, the spring
as the earth
unfolds her new beginnings
Christian faces
what we dare
not even whisper

my heart goes out
to him
as well his family
my soul cries
tears spill from
mine eyes

but my own selfish sorrow
is nothing like anything
he and his family
all who know
and love him

while he is like every other
thirteen year old young man
still he is like no other
thirteen year old young man
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 324
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a place for us novices...
Posted: 3/17/2007 8:56:36 AM
amielle and timmy
thanks to you
for keeping alive
this crumbling thread
mary i really wish you
were brave enough to really
dare to share your truths
with us and yourself

now me being myself
find this not just any day here
not one even of duality
but rather triplicity
each with their own motives
as well as each to
surely to have
it's own way with me

struggle as i might
today i must keep
strong with faith
and yes hope too
and gratefulness
for all unfolding
prayers offered up

day of swallowing tears
day of dread
day of exposure of truth
day of inspirational choice
day of admitting
day of reckoning
day of karma's return

day of striking significance

no shamrocks for me
but i do crave selfishly
that fuzzy green tall
squishy dr suesish hat
and striped tights too
too hot for those though drat
temps in the 90s here

i must do that which is right
i must regain balance
i must be thankful for blessings
and ask for help
with bigger struggles
eating this day
eating this day
hard thing for someone proud
like me, gasp yes me
to dare mean and say

spilled blood makes it easy
to know what to do
no crptic messages here
simple real blunt truth

anniversary of two years
of me walking the earth
on this a brilliantly sunny day
as well one of the passing
of my dearly loved mother
from this plane to her next other
today really missing her so
depth of her meaning to me
so many cannot know
how close she and i were
even in distance afar
here now i am awaiting
her to make somehow
her presence
to me known and felt
as she often does
in her own amazing ways

enduring more pain and blood
prompts dr appointments
for two different reasons

one of joy
to pick up contacts
for mine eyes
new for me
helping me to
hopefully more than
symbolically see

another to scan
and devise a new plan
of action as to now
what more can i do
with karma biting
my sweet ass
cannot will not
any more linger
alone in this blood
and worse,
mental anguish
and pain needing attention
and diagnosis
to fix or remove
an offending and dangerous
tiniest size of a pea
embedded where
it ought not be

inspired day of st patty
historic struggles of irish
help me to slow breathe
this surely isn't yet
the end of my me

day of remembrance
day of struggle
day of strife
day of strength
day of love
day of faith
day of prayers
day of admitting
selfish hedonistic
pleasure seems
to have caught
up with me
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 325
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a place for us novices...
Posted: 3/17/2007 2:15:42 PM
thank you dear autumn;
i'm trying my damndest
believe it or not
just sometimes
i gotsta get some of it out!

doing spring cleaning
all these windows
open so wide
letting sunlight inside

the cats are running about
happy and silly
they are making me laugh
stereo is turned loud
enough for even the
deaf to hear clearly
and i'm moving my a***
gettin stuff done
cause i'd rather be
at the pool
frolicking in this hot sun

not long from now
a friend with kids
might stop by
and those dears
will surely bring
joy laughter and smiles
to me as they always do

and i'll get a good dose
of their heartfelt hugs too
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