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 AUTHOR
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 101
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thank ya'll; free for all Page 5 of 36    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36)
thank you, mi; just like any other day...
next time stay awhile when you can play!
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 102
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spoilt
Posted: 11/10/2006 5:21:04 PM
dreaming
dizzy
yet
walking
upright
yearning

i want...
i want...
i want...

isn't it
so very lovely
sometimes
to be
just lavishly
unashamedly
spoiling
and hence;
spoilt?

like
sweet
juicy
ripe
fruit
dribbling
down
your chin
as salaciously
you feed
to your
fill; satiation

those tactile
amongst us
i know
will all
understand
the simplicity
yet strength
of what
this means
and
linger enjoying
appreciating
when
oh so gracefully
that appears
in
our
lives
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 103
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History
ease
Posted: 11/11/2006 5:39:16 PM
mi, you know already you are always welcome here, this is a lonely thread; sometimes my thoughts alone echoing back at me, the lowly novice, far too unskilled to warrant other's writes apparently; thanks for your very kind words.

ever striving
for life's balance

never wanting
to "grow up"

always desiring
to be only just me

means being
me yesterday
me today and
me tomorrow

anything else
would just
be a complete
and bold lie

sometimes living
fully
in any particular
moment
for precisely
that moment
has garnered
confusion for others
andmyself

that is until
i process
that which
tumbles around
in my mind
in my heart
in my me

sadly sometimes losing
friends
family
spouses
too
along that way
just by being
most true
to myself
has for the
most part been
just exactly what
i needed to do
for me

some see that as
selfish
and therefore
pretty well just only
completely reinforces
my original thought

we are each
born singularly
into our lives
unless we
are a twin
or some other
extraordinary birth

being thus birthed
into
this world
this life
this soul
is quite extraordinary
in and of
itself

life is good
this evening
this week
this month
this year

goals
desires
learning
achieving
accomplishments
vocation
new beginnings
new friends
new home
new season's holidays
and then another fresh
new year will dawn
and bring forth
even more
yet undiscovered
for all and each
of us too

i bid all
sincere and honest
good people these qualities
grace
humility
acknowledgement
cheer
health
love
faith
hope
charity
motivation
and the will
to prepare
and attain
their
best desires

for i am smiling
licking my lips
in anticipation
as this night
i am content
i swoon
as my life
is on this very verge
of recovery of
balance itself

grace herself
smilng warmly
upon me

and i ponder too
wondering
how i will ever even begin to
attempt to reward the gift
of her presence in this
my life

simply still striving
to be the better me
for tomorrow
even as others may scoff
but striving seems the
best and only answer
for now anyway
it is good enough
and i am more than glad
this is so and it is good
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 104
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these days
Posted: 11/12/2006 5:42:57 PM
thank you both for your kindest of words, dears; and flash, for leaving your beautiful words here, in this thread! strong and vibrant you are; youth but knowing, just knowing serves you quite well indeed.


the weekend flew by
as quickly as it seems
the past month has

next weekend finally
space of mine own again
walls floors windows fireplace
and two glorious tubs
all mine

all new carpet
tile paint and
those appliances
awaiting my arrival
not hardly as much
as i relish their presence
as i yearn for them
more than mere words
could ever convey

to the storage unit
we went today
the skylight was repaired
since our last rain
i fretted till things were moved away
so i could climb over my furniture
to survey damage
i bitched as i found sawdust everywhere
and he gently reminded me
in his sweet smiling calming way
there was no water damage
to be really pissed about

books books books
and even more books
the new boys say no problem
helping me move for the umpteenth time
but this is before they actually see just
how many boxes there really are

yet too much kitchen ware
utensils china and glassware
italian and spanish art glass
artsy fartsy bohemian things
collected over many years

fluffy bedding beckons me
i dream of my own bed again
waaay too much sumptious bathroom stuff
thirsty towels and trinkets good smelly stuff
damn bath n body works and their sales
accretrements mine all at the ready
boxed since mid july waiting
just like my holiday toys used to
for my touch my gaze my using them up
and loving doing so, to bits even

can't hardly wait to hang tapestries and
fling middle eastern carpets on floors
pictures on walls and set up my study
placing furniture and electronics
just so once more

i swoon thinking of real logs crackling
just in time for the cold snap and crisp
new holiday season full of promise?

as i sit here tapping out on someone
else's keyboard after a day full of shopping
and daydreaming of rolling and wallowing
all over the floors in southern and western windows
with sunlight streaming in
warmng my body my face my very soul
to the tips of my pedicured toes
each and every one singularly basking

meanwhile i dream
and isn't it so very nice
i was just handed
a coke with splash of malibu rum
to warm me and take the chill off
this most beautiful autumn day?!
he is most interested
in the fireplace
and the garden tub
though i have been using his of late
and happily so

somehow karma seems
to be this day
making up for past shit
endured for only God knows
what reason

oh yes
i am smiling and laughing
a lot these days
and yes
most gratefully so, too
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 105
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these days
Posted: 11/12/2006 8:44:59 PM
homemade meatloaf
made, gasp
not by me
paired with broccoli vermicelli
ended with punkin pie
i can barely move
for now

football game now ended
signing off now
g'nite all
time has come
to begin
another sort of game
not on tv screen
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 106
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grace
Posted: 11/13/2006 7:06:06 PM
hopefulhun, thank you so much for adding to the electronic quilt herein; always welcome here, you of strong imagery laid down for all to wonder at, please post anything you wish here and thank you too, for your most kind words to me.


oh long monday
so very glad
first workday
of this week
is done now

my mind
pinging elsewhere
on the many
plights of few
this night true
phone even now
ringing
as i post
conversation
ensues

honesty
comes forth
and yes
laughter too
someone dear
had a worse day
than even me
running through
motions of ways

tomorrow will be
better
this much
i can promise
and mean it
as it can only
be so

it's just
this damn time
of year; holidays
nearing while
spirits inside
acting accordingly

combined with
other worldly matters
for some seemed
just too much
but methinks
we just might
be able to
between ourselves
come up with something
talk each other to sleep
making today melt away
into yesterday
to wake up tomorrow with
another sweet shared
smile yet again

game on
bets placed
even steph laughed
and threw my laundry
into the dryer eyes smiling
damn she sided with him
whilst i, her good true friend
smiles widely back at her
and shakes my head
at my ownself

the grace and beauty
beauty of solid friendship
outlives so many toubles
and is such an amazing thing
is it not?!
 SthrnButtrfly
Joined: 10/17/2006
Msg: 107
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still a rookie, but damn proud of it...;)
Posted: 11/14/2006 7:02:49 AM
LOL OM what a nice surprise to see the lighter side of you....Soft and Hope, both of you have such beautiful poetry...I feel like a novice against your "novices" ...I would like to share something I wrote if I may its called Letting Go

Looking into your eyes
I see the precious memories
of someone you let go.
I can feel your pain
and understand the hurt
hidden deep inside.
Fear has settled in your soul,
fear of reaching out
touching whatever might be there,
you recoil like a snake
ready to strike if anything warm
comes your way.
Throwing the hurt back w/ a vengenance,
allowing the coldness to surround
the dark corners of your heart
until....
Loneliness settles in.

Look into my eyes
and see the painful memories
of someone I let go.
Can you feel my pain
and understand the hurt & mistrust
I have hidden deep inside?
Fear dwells within my soul...
reaching out is all I have,
Touching whatever warmth might be there.
If I were to recoil and strik back
w/the hurt I have suffered,
I may never love again.
My heart is o, so cold,
shadows entrap my soul
I can't let loneliness destroy me.

Let us look into one another's eyes
and see those memories
of the ones we have
love and lost.
Feel one another's suffering
and understand together.
Don't let the fear go any further,
protect each other's soul.
Touch with the tenderness of faith
in whatever is to become
of this new journey;
Believe in this friendshp
God has put before us,
melting the coldness
if only for awhile....
relishing in the warmth of a smile,
knowing
we can share
the memories...
feel the pain
and grow to understand...
one day at a time
Together.

Thanks for letting me post this
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 108
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phoenix musings for those feeling blue
Posted: 11/14/2006 5:57:35 PM
such grace here, such light here, so much here today upon my return from work to revel in; thank each of you for making me smile and sharing yourselves here.
thank you all for your finely woven words hopefulhun, om, sthrnbttrfly; such strong and divergently unique writes!

egyptian mythological creature fair
the phoenix boldly had risen from ashes
sacred fire bird of hope and truth

glorious golden red purple plumage
it's very nest cinnamon twigs ignited
both nest and bird burnt most fiercely
reduced to lightest of ashes
but then again lives
born anew from those same ashes
as even from burnt forests
will sprout new baby tender growth
full of hope and promise
assuredly you may liken it
to life itself

regenerating regeneration
whenever hurt or wounded
by a foe a lover or friend
if you but only take your time
regain your balance find solid footing
becoming immortal invincible
and once again in time strong again
heralding symbol phoenix
breath fire and divinity
art literature symbolism
resurrection immortality
life reborn more strongly
of faith of hope of renewal

always know even when fraught
or full of any type of despair
if you give time and space
your heart will surely heal
if you but allow it to
let not pain make your heart as stone
for in doing that rest assured
cold surely seeps into your very veins
making smiles difficult to come by
making life more than hard to stumble through
making everything seem full of strife

but again just as predictably and accountably
trustingly knowing and having faith
for tomorrow again turns away wraiths
our beloved energy source life giving sun
will indeed rise strongly again
and you will indeed once more be granted
a fresh new day lush with possibilities
even perhaps but we all know
it's up to each individual of course it's so
yes the sun will predictably thankfully
rise again just to shine it's lovely rays
playing and kissing it's sweetness upon your face
all the while looking for your smile most eagerly
surely you deeply inside know this even if
today you are hurting strongly deeply inside

just for today ride out this dark kind of temptuous storm
don't stay inside nor hide or stay in bedsitland today
instead please reflect on that some call a mythical story
upon that phoenix and just imagine it's glory
beauty risen from disaster true parable for me and you
which truth do you cling to with hope
or which hope do you know of as truth?
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 109
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thank ALL of you, for touching hearts herein
Posted: 11/17/2006 12:18:35 PM
how beautifully written the prose you left herein to touch the very dear heart of one of my dearest friends; thank you so very much for that; you know not how much of an impact your writing here left on someone's heart; thank you.

AD, sisterfriend; what a surprise to read your fascinating write left here so dearly for me!
thank you dearling, for your loving thoughts read here on a very hectic and stressful day for me; very uplifting at a time when so gratefully accepted and very much appreciated more than words can ever impart. please just know the imprint of care is on both our hearts. i can only pray that one day i can too reward you back with this beautiful feeling you've left me with today. you, my dear; are an international treasure!

mi mi mi~
it's never easy for me to sit on any side lines
or just plain give up
those bad tastes that stain my cup
are never permanent
for it is with
the grace of love and true friendship
even IF from afar
that warm my heart
and prove to me
promise hope and faith
strongly exist
even sometimes
awaiting our acceptance of them

even under undue stress
each and every time i fall prey
to believing in anyone wrongly
i must remember to adhere my way
and not alter my thinking of kindred humankind
and the kindness of so many others
along each day
we make our own way

oh yes, indeed
sometimes those
bases are loaded
with phony baloney
but we just must only
work harder to not be led astray
seek those of like mind heart and spirit
closely to those stay
that phoney baloney seems
to then just melt away
leaving fat and gristle with grease
not such an easy task to complete

but thankfully we can
throw out the old
continue bravely onward
looking to future's pomise
and more importantly
just knowing inside
sometimes yes it's a rough ride
but the friends and the journey
are worth more than our efforts
keeping us right in mind and heart
as well as sometimes inner healing
i hope for you this day
you are better inside
knowing you are a type
of the most kindred kind
easy to spot and recognise
alike with alike
turn away from the strife
look forward with hope
and assurance even if
sometimes this feels
like the blind leading the blind
for resulting the prize to behold
is that warmness inside
and on your face a smile
most wide



 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 110
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History
a place for us novices...
Posted: 11/17/2006 12:44:43 PM
intenzity you are welcome always and i need no thanks for my words of encouragement ever. you know you are always welcome here to post your prose, eloquence or even silliness.
life will get even better
surely you must know this inside
never stop being you
trying to try
just learn when
how and where to abide
sometimes the outcome
is better than any journey provides
even if sometimes we don't understand
rest in that place inside peacefully
but buckle your seatbelt
prepare for the ride
you stand at the beginning
of life's continuous ride
one day when you're ready
it will all fall into place
making sense and be right
you too will just feel it inside
best to be ready
for we never know when
cupid hits with that dart
that one that hits two at one time
making a fresh new start
for both and never a parting
of those hearts
i know you know this
already so i will now say
i hope you're having
the beginning of many
wonderful days in so many ways


TiM, thank you for a beautiful and true post, please feel free to leave your imagery here anytime, and i'm glad you stopped by here to leave this one above.
unfurling within
some feeling helpless
shells of souls abandoned
but never of the selfless
for they live on in hearts of may
perhaps minds of the few
they know who they are
as do you n i too

caring is never in vain
even if plans don't work out
as we think they ought
better to try than to not
yes much work to be done
and some step up to that plate
without hesitation
nor a moment's wait
they know who they are
looking for no reward
only to help another
sometimes to feel better
sometimes themselves
needing respite from danger
or sanctity within
a return to their center

for some no pills
could or would ever help
better to leave them
up high on the shelf
for what is the good
if medicated souls
lose their motivation
to do good and be kind
to others and themselves
knowing and doing what's right


about all those
hopes wishes and dreams
fairy tale endings
often aren't what they seem
but easily later
known to be fate acting out
when tired souls have
given up
and are just along for the ride
crashing on life's waves
rolling with each new come tide

friends are indeed stronger
faith and hope are a must
otherwise we may as well
today all become dust
while broken hearts hurt
and fake promises too
we are made up of stronger
any need only hope
to ourselves and others renew

finances are earthly
yes necessary i know
but money is only but a means
its whats in our hearts
that tells and more shows
auras of each of us
colors divine
all seen so clearly
by those we attract
even if some
turn their back
with a slight shrug
and maybe a sigh
we all yes each one of us
must still aspire
and continue to strive

burdens are ugly
bruises are too
thankfully all sincere people
hold and carry within
themselves keys most precious
and deciding factors therein
the will to change attitude
and relearn sometimes aptitude
better suited for outcomes
divinely inside and inspired

it begins with ourselves
not is of money borne
to rebuild and restart
must first come from
within realising our own heart
for then changes needed
have a better chance of
succeeding and beginning anew
no scamming no spamming
to confuse or be hard to attempt
to try to figure out
better ways to work through
any affairs of any hearts
to fruition anew




 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 111
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History
ever hopeful a good sign
Posted: 11/17/2006 1:24:19 PM
hopefulhun my dear
breathe
just breathe deeply in
and slooowly out

do i ever abhor that demon
anxiety tapping on my shoulder
doing it's best to rearrange my life
try wreaking havoc and strife

i know it quite well
too well in fact drat
yet still find inside only hope
that you too have found
your own ways to get around
feel again solid earth underground
circumventing any and all
evil sorts of prescence
willing it, demanding it leave
you to peace and reflection
of that whichever you truly need
balance and simplicity
honour bound once again
please i implore you to
take freely of that on to feed
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 112
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History
for my soul sister afar but never far from thought
Posted: 11/17/2006 2:10:51 PM
Where IS that chime
or even the bell
i've not yet arrived
but pending still home
tile's all laid
carpet all new
windows clean
shining brightly
with sun through
their panes
today hitting record
high temps for this day

no fire necessary
for it's already here
quite warm indeed
just can't seem to wait
on getting those keys
today or tomorrow will
end my unrest and unease
now doing my best to forget
why i paid for overnight express
when each time i call
the checks in the mail
so they say tomorrow
now to be the day

trucks and boxes galore
through the front door
tired but smiling
realising my blessings
thanks once again
to my greatest friends
ever helping whenever
and always they sense
i'm in any sort of need

what a blessing i have
so many dear kindred
ever ready with smiles
hugs and so much more
making my heart full
my soul grateful indeed

oh sister dear yes
it’s me again too
settling in for a read
and a quick peek around
looking for you
time has a way
of making us stop
reflect and take in
that which we
simply most need
right when needed most
our souls now truly freed
to sing dance and play again
as if we were children
without the chains of truth
so way back then which bound
our hearts into misery
but now decades later
we both found
in one another
similar stories
and truths now bind us
in very different ways

blessings love light
hope promise and future
a voice and our hearts
glad now once again
who'd a thunk today
now we'd see in each other
such spunk and sass
and beautiful reasons
to smile and laugh
right out loud knowing
our slain demons of past
now yes dead and rotting
helps others to grow
and see it's all better
than just merely ok
when least expected
even from far away
now looking and knowing
feeling better promises
of each brand new day

proud and glad you dear
have been found here
my soul sister that knows
borne of simplest true prose
now with visions of beauty
and voice of songbird
face of an innocent angel
fluttering strongly with wings of both
soaring to heights
before never dared to reach
with hearts to match souls
i thank you here and now
an international treasure
for your beauty inside
comes out whenever you
don't keep it in or hide

oh to share some wine
and yes good chocolate too
what a conversation
we'd have me n you
smiling widely
all the while

this i just feel
how else indeed
are people gonna tell
we’re not twins
well only if they
don't or haven't read
or attention pay
too busy on their own paths
to vary or stray
onto ours

but it's fine this way
my heart is gladdest today
despite the turmoil inside
for hope lives more strongly
and life is somehow
just easier knowing you know
and you are in it even afar
kindred sister dear
i'll make a wish
all just for you
and then one for me too
upon tonight's first two
brightest desert stars
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 113
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History
for my soul sister afar but never far from thought
Posted: 11/18/2006 7:31:37 AM
dear AD yes
last night i did gaze
looking up at the stars
i closed my eyes
i cast wishes
one for you
and one for me
and a few extra
prayers said earnestly
for other dears too

but morning here now
no half n half for the coffee
too cold to run out
to the corner store
when i'd so much rather
go back and bury my head
under covers
surely making him smile
he's today the sleepyhead

busy busy busy day ahead
moving again
on that road
paved of good intention

sore muscles tomorrow
my calves will protest
good for me
then i can again
settle and stretch
finally rest

yesterday
a very dear friend
helped me
most generously
gracious is she

i laid and rolled
i wallowed about
i placed furniture
in my mind
to it's proper places

today getting the truck
enlisiting more help
knowing this will drag on
to the morrow no matter
what he said
i will have again
my things about me
in my nest comfortably
to rest this weary head

and then begin
to again prepare
dinner for eight
for thursday's plates
invited friends
and bow my head
ever thankful once again
can't hardly wait

but oh yeah
i'm learning patience again
it suits me just fine
i'm finding the time
and it feels just right
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 115
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History
thank you all
Posted: 11/20/2006 11:55:06 PM
frog lover, with much clarity your lines are true, very nice style; thank you for posting here.

lick, thank you for stopping by and leaving your lines, sure to touch many i'm certain.

weldergurl, very moving tribute to another young angel taken so soon, thank you for sharing.

hopeful, your words touched me in a way that i want you to know i do understand, as well as
ever remaining hopeful, too; i thank you.

ad, the purity of your heart always shines brightly on for us all to admire the you inside.

bubbly, i think we do all very well know that little girl inside; thank you too for posting.



we return again
to this place
where we feel free
to just ourselves be

i am grateful
i do understand
i am graced here
lines of others

each time i
feel lines left here
by those sincere
and pure of heart
i am touched
and i thank you

beacons of hope
yes i'm tired
body and mind weary
yet soul flying
yes inspired

touched yes
very much so
by other's prose
thank you each
of you so far
for leaving your
electronic marks
upon and in mine
and other's hearts
ringing as chimes
comforting
provoking

sincerity is all
i ever asked for
and have received
that and oh yes
so much more

this thread is ours
cummulative affect
with effects too
as once herein
was a singular voice echoing
now many more than few
so i thank each of you

wanting to now bid everyone
reflection and thankfulness
for what we have in
ourselves and each other
heart to hearts
shining and beating brightly
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 116
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History
shadows in my mind of the best kind
Posted: 11/21/2006 12:21:01 AM
mr toad's wild ride
oh yes sometimes
i lost control
of the wheel
i took for granted
just relied on my
auto pilot needs

i am in many ways
unwavering in
feeling
honesty
sincerity
hope
and the very
possibility
of dreams
coming true
hey it's happened
before
and wasn't just lust

it's one way
of reason
i learned
from inside out
trust is tangible
for it can be felt
no not always
by fingers
but sometimes
of heart
and mind

i am drowsy
snug in my
own thoughts
warming me
cloaking me
comforting me

i oftentimes
throughout my day
think of shadows of
your body
so perfect to me
tracing outlines
in air even now
as i drift off
to slumber
to dream
i smile lazily
eyes closed

no matter
how many times
i recreate
each hollow
eyes still closed
i smile
each and every time

thanking now
not cursing God
we are blessed
with memory
imprints in our
minds and hearts
programming
of scent divine
inhaling deeply

salivation is indeed
born of hunger
as i yearn for you
me here you there

when will i
if ever again
see you
smell you
touch you

yes i know
you wonder too
not why
or how
but when
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 117
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History
he told me his dream
Posted: 11/21/2006 8:17:56 PM
unfinished business indeed
still left to play out in our lives
so very long since since we
together made a pact and we tried
so long ago he and i last shared
together ourselves
and the many memories we made
as well too all our
knowing looks
soft smiles
fullest embraces
kissing of faces
and other places
spats we brainstormed
on how to resolve
differences big and small
taking your clothes off
works in a pinch
(forgive a little pun there)
cause its sure hard
to stay mad when
you're both naked
and still in love
wanting to make up
or make the other laugh
with a silly look
or a joke thrown in
when very least expected
can't stay mad when the
hearts and animals
inside humans
are affected

today looking back now
so many more than
thousand meals eaten
still left me hungry
unfinished cups of coffee
not his strong sweet and hot
as his love to wake me
drinks quite a few
but not shared
with darling you

but ahh mi amor he knows
as he is the one i adored
since i firstly gazed upon him
so many years ago
he verbally re enacted
his version of that night
beginning with him entering that place
while i nudging my sister
who glanced where i nodded
in his exact direction
she responded "good luck"
oh so sarcastically and
yes was she ever surprised
when she saw how we were
together intent on only one other

undeniable chemistry
unspoken truths known
as if from another life past
centuries ago vast
we came together again
and again and again
for seventeen years
till we parted
now its been more
hard to believe
twenty four now
have flown past
more than half my life
and still i blush
thinking my thoughts
of him what a rush

many days since spent
feeling bluer than blue
nights in this desert heat
coldest without him near
to share this mine bed
with to rest my weary head
to sit and read quietly
together by the fire
both comfortable not even
moving or speaking for hours
just listening to music

my most handsome hero
i so adored and admired
i've now left him twice
last time where upon
his bended knees
with tears in his eyes
he pleaded with me
and yet i walked away
i got on that plane
flew across oceans
and various terrains
ever wishing i hadn't
we know and acknowledge
we have both changed
and yes grown too
but still there is fire
between us two it's true

no it wasn't because
he'd at such a young age
prior to meeting me
had a vasectomy
reason he and i never
had young blood of our own
my stepson from young age
i loved dearly so
now he is grown
a doctor himself
with a new beautiful baby girl
precious gift she is
i've seen pix to prove thus
and cannot explain my pride

but i have plans inside
life is meant to be lived
and fully we know yet how many
of us really dare to do so
because of the risks or things
we don't or can't know
does it readily show
for yes i am excited
and i am greedy too
sighing here waiting
long months to go faster
can't help not wanting
to have time now
just for a bit slow
next months will unfurl
with more blessings bestowed

le reve always managing to
keep staying in touch
from so far away
for so many years
and in so many ways
i'm counting the days
and that wake up too
until in each other's arms
both feeling anew

for dears here you see
for all of those times
whenever we were parted
he wrote pages and pages
and i to him similar too
professing our love and desire
him a career military man
so amazingly inspired
me well just me you know
this n that all rolled into
simply just me

we led a charmed life
wrought by our own hard work
living in such beautiful places
made so very many dear friends
with many different faces
i miss him still
familiar yet always
a challenge
magic between us
it just seemed
to happen

days ago he spoke to me
calling me by his
endearing pet names
with inflection unique
as only he can
causing me to recall
his rhymes once sang to me
the way he danced with me
whether out for the night
or in any one of our kitchens
in any city of many states
different countries too

he was all mine i knew
as i was all his too
the devil himself
couldn't possibly be
any more handsome
or clever than he

this man once completely
truly understood me
i know that's honestly
hard to believe
as well i too knew him
better than any other
on this planet
he was once my most
amazing friend and lover

now just mere days ago
we reminisced aloud together
each our own memories
familiar and smiling
at just this new beginning
again making plans
these will take time
for parts of our lives
are no longer entwined
even if and as our hearts
still remain so
we've both still awhile
to yet go

of this he has repeatedly
reminded me of
while i dared not dream
any more of our love
subconscious takes over
even when mind stays intent
stubborn it seems
an ocean and terra firma
between us cannot deny
as he dares speak out loud
we will be together
incredulous he asking me
don't you just know?
my answer a whisper
of course, it is so

he asked me if
i could ever leave this
my beloved desert
did i love nothing more
than it on this earth
i answered of course
again in a whisper
my sorrow at having left him
not once but twice
giving up our marriage
i've since realised
our then very lives
then holding my breath
as he continued on
describing his dream to me
a house in the country
for the both of us again
the world seems smaller
safer somehow again now

except hmmm well again
yes dear it'd be me
giving up this life
this sinful polluted city
this amazing boss
this amazing job
this cozy creation
i've managed
to make of my life
since i was
no longer his wife
no question needed
save but for one
did he really not know
i'd consider it done
tie up all these loose ends
yes it will take time
better get my fill of this
warm autumnal sunshine
traded in for eternal sighs

a move again across sea
necessitates me leaving
all this that i now know
this which now is my life
i've worked so hard
does it really show
to create independence
with balance yet
without room for strife
he is so proud he says
still wanting me again
i hear it in his voice
as he develops a plan
london to vegas within
the next month and a half
my head still reeling
imagining that again
this smile hasn't left
my face since this
our talking again began

thanksgiving this year
with meaning anew
grace herself veritably
swam over the murky moats
beating now down my front door
picking through these walls
bit by masonry bit
concrete granite and stone
solidly fashioned
around this my heart
will i awaken with a start

i feel wonder and yes even
amazed to ponder considering
again comforts of two
knowing as one these things
that we both seem to
is this but a dream
like his is to him
only portenders of future
can know or can say
besides knowing
my heart is again warm
and a smile plays across
my face although that
isn't unusual as it's
really just my way
and realising finally
home really is
where our hearts live

 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 118
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History
It All Makes Sense.
Posted: 11/23/2006 11:18:19 AM
froggie dear, so sweet the words from your fingertips, but please be not fooled i cannot help but learn more about so much more!

as so many others yes
i am continually learning
even more of myself
my attitudes
perceptions
crap to turn from
things to focus more upon
task of unveiling levels
of self to even more depths
i dare say i am enough
of complexities now already
but then BAM! comes something
sharp or swift enough
to take my breath away
or make my heart race...
othertimes i just think
it's my own form of neuroticism
i ought to pull my head outta itself more
and need to go take a walk
gemin cancer cusp child woman
mostly good with bits of naughty
sharp but with oh so much yet to learn
life is good this thanksgiving day

flash i love your write, such powerful images spring to my mind from anything you write; i am honored whenever your post herein. i will consider it a thanksgiving gift; ty.


That's why we want to like someone, because when we're together the world makes sense.
one reason i created this thread was to keep my posts together; another was to share a place for kindred; i am grateful so many who post here are so thought provoking and lovely, generous of spirit; thank you all for helping make it such a comfy warm place!

i bid all here who stop to read or share a post
the very warmest self & shared love, light and reflection
happy happy thanksgiving day!
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 119
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History
a simple apology
Posted: 11/24/2006 4:58:12 PM
~aero§oul~ i am hanging my head in shame, peeking at you from the corners of my sloe eyes through my lashes and asking forgiveness in having forgotten to properly thank you; you, lover of all things of graceful visual and pleasing beauty, more creative than i by far, (how /DO you keep from spontaneously combusting?!) i am so sorry to have been remiss in a big thank you for your few words here; i do hope you will return and leave more soon.

if i ever make it back to uk i'd love to see your work; brilliant!
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 120
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History
feeling the love
Posted: 11/24/2006 5:34:31 PM
mi mi mi
i am saddened
by your latest email
i am sorry
for trials life brings
i send you for what it's worth
my love from afar
to cloak you and keep you warm
no matter the cold outside
your heart will
when you are ready
be warm again
this i can swear to you
my friend
as truth
as surely as i sit here
writing for you words
do you know of the the?
love is stronger than death
for it is true

but know this too
when something ends
when something dies
comes a phoenix
from ashes to rise
bird of brilliance
bird of fire
bird of self's desire
soaring on hope
not looking behind itself
back into the smoke

ever hold your chin high
even when trembling
do something
anything to keep
mind hands heart
occupado mon ami dear
i am thinking of you now
i am saddened on this day
a day when i am feeling
safe loved content hopeful
a day i have spent mostly alone
and surprisingly i feel the above
even though for the greater
part of this day
i have been without my inet or cable
as there was some sort of outage
in my area 89% affected i was told
having recently moved
still don't have any of my
4 cd or dvd players hooked up
technologically challenged am i
ok technologically lazy
sighs caught in the trap of tuth

one day i will change that
about myself too
reinvention is not only fun
but oh so necessary
to sail waves and seas of our lives
whether grey and stormy
or gloriously sunny
my thoughts on water rippling today
my lips curling into soft smiles
i am so cozy even my eyes are soft today


flash, your words
had me thinking smiling all warm inside
thank you again
you of talent and wisdom vast
for such a young man

tim! an unexpected visit
making me smile widely too
thank you and hope you
are having a lovely evening
my far away friend!
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 121
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History
off balance; hurting inside
Posted: 11/25/2006 9:04:36 AM
a child's illusion
beauty is fogotten and
we remember our lovers
all touched my heart
and all so strongly too
sharp intake of breath
here
thank you flash
for that


bubbly thank you
i too have felt the way you describe
how befitting sometimes we so miss
being heard and going unoticed

he was the music that fed my soul

seems now a curse
i am off kilter off balance
the musicman he has gone
to make music for another
never even having taking notice
that i was listening so
very closely too

i am saddened
feel violated
am shaking
my aim is to
hurt no one ever
as i all too well
know that feeling
wringing my hands here
so troubled by another's words
and all for what
i know not
but still my eyes
and my heart bleed
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 122
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History
smote the smoke let it settle die out
Posted: 11/25/2006 10:43:21 AM
now all snug and cozy
i sit tapping
drinking green
sweet hot tea
and reading too
lines laid out
for all to read
and too angel mod
helping making
things right in my world
extracting bitter lines
forever from other's
threads which hurt
but now are gone
i just don't know why
i do know things all too often
can be sadly misconstrued
i felt stabbed so saddened too
but i will not burn in flames
especially those which have
begun from no explanantion
they will remain invisible
but they cannot any longer burn
i bow to thee, remover you
they know who they are
and how special too
they are to me
for coming to aid
one deeply distraught
and mended all so quickly
with magic fingers
thank you
thank you
thank you
dear kind sir

and for another dear
consoling me via email
yes not only are you handsome
but soft like me too
living inside our minds
playing out our rhymes
with only just our truth
to light our way as candles
in darkness of other's souls
smooches to you
for being exactly you
thank you dear sweet one
kindred soul to me in truth

some people
methinks will use
any excuse
blah blah blah...
but i suspect
something worse
it smells rotten but
perhaps just simply
poisoned minds stink
demons inturned i suppose
so many times i've encountered
folks who see things others miss
thank you for your beautiful self
helping to erase the negativity unleashed
upon myself and those kindred herein
a woven lovely thread by so very many
beautiful strong yet soft souls
firmly planted in each other's hearts
close or far it matters not

the beauty of any phoenix never dies
but rises again with more brightly
fanning plummaged feathers
flying higher to escape
rising above any flames below
smote the smoke let it settle die out
as kindred fly and soar and play together
each in our very own unique way
hugs to you dear woamn strong
for your kindness extended from afar
we are a peaceful people
we remain clearly true
many thanks extended to
each and every one of you
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 123
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History
whole again, thanks to many and gracious friends
Posted: 11/25/2006 10:45:05 AM
i moved last weekend
or rather was moved
by two lovely strong men
into my new condo
westside in the lakes
corner unit windows
facing south and west
for optimum sunlight
in to warm me

as many of you dear
here know
the circumstances
of why and how this
came to happen
and how happy
and now relieved i am
to be in my own space again

so saturday and sunday last
we did toil with
boxes boxes boxes
and far too much wood furniture
for any one person
books enough for
my own library it's true
they will reside
in bedroom #2
once they become unpacked

the handcarved mirror
made by a great uncle
in europa never met
but daily i admire
his craftsmanship
and am grateful
for family treasures
handed down to me
for stevo to hang
centered perfectly
above my fireplace
empty but still i'm cozy

new linens and
towels so fluffy
bits n pieces of
odds n ends
pottery
art work small
oil paintings too
one gifted to me
by a coworker dear
just for me and
my new place
people are amazing
i keep finding
this is true

china yes 5 sets
most still boxed
but some taken out
washed and used for
thanksgiving dinner
thursday last
with friends here
to warm my soul
as did the ways
everyone helped
in their own way
to make it quite
a lovely day
still smiling here
remembering my friends
i am blessed with many
each themselves unique
honest real and true
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 124
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History
sighs
Posted: 11/25/2006 4:11:53 PM
lazy lazy day
spent
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 125
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History
one for you dear
Posted: 11/25/2006 6:31:28 PM
turning around to gaze
wondering at all the ways
lines can be misconstrued
that hurt people in turn abuse

we are all simply of flesh
bones and muscle fibers too
sometimes we just don't all mesh
life's waves toss us as we're strewn
as tides rush in and fools rush out

remembering days spent in sun
living on the beach in southern spain
i happily recall those dancing nuns
from the convent next door
well ok just a mile or so away
they came out in sunshine to play

they climbed down the many stairs
leading from that high cliff above
taking off shoes and stockings
they pranced in a circle faces of love
what a sight to behold of day long ago
part of my heart lives there still i believe
as today i sit here in this desert so far
wondering if i'll ever return
to pick up those pieces and recover again
something i left with no backward glance
but one which my mind cannot seem to resist

thank you mr u; please feel free here to post whatever is in you at the time
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