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 AUTHOR
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 151
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one night weeks pastPage 7 of 36    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36)
flash thank you for this, image burned into my brain colors i love and imagery too, wondering if the man whose ass was kicked deserved it or was simply misconstrued as sometimes we all are especially when drinking



to the greek bistro
we went
a birthday that night
special to celebrate
and together be spent

good wine and
jack daniels
had we to start
sultry lounge singer
pouring out her heart

fresh simple salad and bread
began our meal
fat thick steak
like butter
melted in my mouth
appetites satiated
well of hunger
at least but still
i ought not
to have had
that ouzo
as it came
to pass

then on to the lounge
where things turned
quite weird
a boxer and i
had a strange
conversation
about inner city youth's needs
while his young date
sat silently smiling
my date as always
graciously talking
with everyone in reach

i hate to admit
i cannot remember
orange morrocan martinis
i added to that already
in me

after a while we left
and he took my keys
stopped at a store
to buy smokes
i became stubborn
and not a good host

gaining my keys again
backing up barely
feather light brushing
a guardrail
my white car
now sports faintest
yellow paint
back quarter panel
not even noticed

but i know it's there
and yes he does too
being himself
and me myself
both stubborn
on cells stewing true

next morning awakened
by tones from my phone
thanksgiving had dawned
headache unbelievable
what had i done
where was my leather jacket
and my own integrity lost

of course just as always
he and i talked and he laughed
tresspasses forgotten
a new day at hand
this one heralding
too much to do

friends came over
to unpack and lend hands
bearing eggs of the devilled kind
also celery stuffed yummy
the other with chips
n most lovely of breads
for a dinner i'd planned
but first fervor activities
my treasures yet to be
placed and so set the pace

whirlwind of activity
laughing and rushing
so much to do
more friends over
were coming

first to arrive
a gentleman dear
bringing vino
and oven mitts
as i couldn't find mine
he a hero in knick of time
time to cut up proscuitto
and salami cheese whirls
mixed imported olives
and cheeses with crackers
we were snacking
then came another friend
smiling woman sweet
bearing mashed fluffy potatos
yes gravy too
lastly comes the
smiling beaming one
with her rum cakes
and gingerbread cookies

the bird roasting savory
cilantro spicy stuffing
cranberry pear apricot compote
huge baby field green n spinach salad
with feta and pecans nestled lovingly
terrine of cheesy broccoli creamed
dinner rolls heating brown
now even i began to beam

we sat and we ate we talked
and we laughed we then got
situated and pondered life too
then had pie and cake

but i'd learned a lesson
yet if the same again
for i only had 2 glasses of wine
sure there's more to the story
but it's in my heart and my mind
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 152
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passion
Posted: 12/3/2006 2:02:30 PM
there simply IS beautiful passion flash; in others, in nature, in hearts and thoughts and art: thanks for the reminder.
mary, thank you too for your short lines herein this thread woven strongly, return anytime you wanna.

passion
for some is stilled
deep with
awaiting new hope
rebirth

passion is thought
turned into actions
expressions
displays
words
caring
kindness
motivation
resolve
play
work with meaning

desires
wants
needs
some difficult to discern
differences therein

today this sunday
bright and clear
i awakened
again early
thoughts of so much
yet to be done
in preparation
for the coming week
i have yet only
accomplished a few
of those many things
gnawing at my mind

i've somehow
caught a cold
tired and with
sore nose from
sniffling
i only want to lazily
crawl back into
my new nest
of new bedding
falling in and out
of blissful slumber

but before i do
i yet have to go
to the bank
(yes my bank here
in vegas is open sunday too)
transferring funds
from one account
to another
and write a check
which must
be given
tomorrow
without fail

so now i take leave
with my stuffy nobe
and soak in a nice hot tub
or not
perhaps i'd better instead
get off to the bank
so then i can coem home
to soak and snooze
and not have to look
at the clock
as it drums its
hands at me
sternly

i am most
passionate
about my baths
for now today
it'll have to do
sore throat and aches
stuffy nobe and all
 subtle_savage
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 153
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passion
Posted: 12/3/2006 3:10:57 PM
Novices? Where? I came expecting: despair
Served clumpy, like k-dinner or beans 'n weiners.
Yet I've been disapointed,
Like the freshly annointed,
That some wond'rous tragedy was to take place
An epiphany would shake me into grace.

Sadly this thread has been mis-named.
I have not found talent lacking here-in.
So breath yee writers of little faith
Consider not you be writing wraiths.

ss
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 154
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damn head cold
Posted: 12/3/2006 6:27:20 PM
hiya ss, thanks for the visit and lines; some very talented people have visited here and left many provoking thoughts, feelings and writes. i began this thread more than a year ago but only really concentrated on it in the last 6 months or so; and while i myself am most certainly a novice, many others posting are so obviously not!


i've been feeling
pretty peaked
looking puny too
started with a sore throat
my nose so sore n red
befittingly i could pass for
one of rudolph's kin

sneezing
wheezing
coughing
sputtering
achey
whiney
stuffy
sniffling
feverish
sore throat
headache
earaches

sounding too much like
an irritating commercial
i sit, actually find myself
emitting moans and groans

and nope
i can't take
otc cold relievers
like most other
normal folks
feeling like freak
of nature
with a karma ekking
tidal wave
so i'll hafta just
get through it
by just being me
which in this case
means yes whiney

sorry folks
in advance
for this whiney rant

i'm not even
in the least bit
hungry
today i've had
cups of
steaming soothing
honey sweetened
green tea
'n concord grape juice too
though not availing
self of runny nosed snifs
i diligently forced down
a sammich
and an apple
tasteless both
where's my
vitamin c?
yeah i'm still adrift
in my sea of tissue
and fuzzy sox
and pinky sweats
comfy although not

ran to the bank
because i had to
then i came right back
while on the phone
most of the day
i yakked

too tired even
to make my
yummy homemade
chicken soup
with green onion slices
oven roasted parsnips
and carrots savory
with fresh snap pods of peas
maybe later i'll saute
fresh broccoli
with garlic hot chili sauce
'n heat up tomato soup
lightly buttered crackers
i'll do my best to pretend
i'm taking take care of myself
convincing, eh?

pitiful
miserable
pouting
me

jake
my phat cat
looks startled
each time
i sneeze

sable
my petite
silky black kit
meows protests
each time i
reposition
my plushes blankies

i hear the tv
from another room
and yearn
for my own sea of plushy
purpley soft comforter
and some old black n white
old film to fall in and out
comfy hot slumber
where's the remotes?

tomorrow monday
back to work i'll go
everyone will know
just by looking at me
i've got a damn head cold
but they won't detect
my head feels as big as a
goldfish bowl but one
congested with mold

but now i'm even
boring myself
so i'll go
read let my mind
further wander
wherever it might
whilst meantime
bidding each of you
a good and healthy night
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 155
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sweeties
Posted: 12/3/2006 7:03:42 PM
kyrstal dear please forgive me for being so tired this weekend i was remiss in thanking you for your sweet lines here yesterday, glad we got to chat via phone though!


and rory dear thanks for your lines
your good thoughts herein sent
always, you so dear and sweet
i've been sniffing all today
lavendar sandalwood sachet scented
how'd ya know i've not been rightly meditating
purely from my rant i'll guess

the sauna here all steamy
is too far away
in this cold desert night
for me to stray

i'm stuck here whiney crabby too
i'm sorry i'm miserably sick
but i'm really glad it's not you

can't tell the bossman
to cover 'cause they all dislike
when i'm not around
too much work to cover ground

as for the lover
he took such good care of me
friday and yesterday too
all day not letting me get up
fetching everything for me
waiting on me hand and foot
electric hottest heating pad
cooking his yummiest yums
even when i wasn't hungry
he's a good cook so i ate
and bringing me drinks
rubbing all my aches
and yes other things too
such a dear but he left today
he had work to do and damn
if now he's not feeling
sick n achey too
 fallen-one
Joined: 9/24/2006
Msg: 156
a place for us novices...
Posted: 12/4/2006 5:24:41 AM
SLipping Away
Madness Looming
Scarred Soul
Fear Redefined
Darkness Overwhelms
No Light
No Hope
No Dreams
No Direction
Except Down
Into Nothingness
Becoming Noone
An Apparition
Forgotten Dream
Fading Away
A Victim
Habitual Slave
No Thoughts
Individuality Lost
A Machine
Beaten In
And Battered
So Unkept
Death Looming
Of Heart
Of Soul
Nothing Left
But Instinct



Thought id try something a lil different than my usual
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 157
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History
instinct
Posted: 12/4/2006 7:01:29 AM
thank you again fallen, for appearing here and making me think. it's good for me to remember to think in certain ways and not just follow dark thinking. and sometimes i think and ruminate too much but i've gotten much better at not doing that the older i become. it's easier to know now i am responsible for the negative and positive aspects of how i choose to think. but...

once upon a time
when i was young
and rail thin save
for mah booty
i thought i was the shit
i was hurt and broken feeling

i ran on adrenalin
the city was mine
or so i then thought
my dearest sibling
had died and the
rest of my blood family
didn't understand me
nope not at all

i'd left my crumbled
marriage because
the one man i'd grown
to love more than
anyone even myself
became a stranger
someone i felt
i never really knew
though i knew all
too well his then
dissatisfaction in me
overwhelming and
making me distrust
myself and him too

i became rather like
those that hurt me
i became a bit
pedatory
looking usually for
the different ways
to do most everything
wearing mostly black
to suit my moods

writing then as i do
now sometimes still
of angst and pain
which some read
with horror and disbelief
they tried to convince me
i wasn't my past or even
that my behavior then
wasnt deserving of that
which it wrought

never made any sort of pacts
agreements spoken or unspoken either
my soul wasn't traded nor bought
but not long then came to pass
my thinking and realising that
life was just completely a figment
of procrastination and consternation
i really truly couldn't clearly see
how so much happened to me
as waves and tides flowed
in their own space and time
my memories eating my mind

holidays can be the worst
if a hunger inside thirsts
yet remains unsatiated
who can we fault if not
ourselves as creators
masters mistresses of our lives
and times on this earth
on this orb of one planet
once blue and green and lush
now spinning and spewing
it's brown and toxic pollution
engaging in wars and killings
massacres and pillaging
beheadings and downright stealing
of other's land and people and lives
because they perhaps think different than we
yeah we all too well know
that familiar feeling it grows

unless we somehow each from inside
change our own thoughts and decide
there are other things more imortant than
our own singular feelings needs and wants
that others matter and we must choose
and carefully too whom to amuse
stop simply any abuse if we see it
aspiring instead to do the right things
wanting to feel as much as we can
our own inner good emanating
and feeling accomplishment
isn't that hard most times to turn
our minds and our hearts from simple
instinct

because there
is more
to living
and
responsibility too
not just to others
but self as well
people may scoff
and people may laugh
but life is for the living
or so it seems
best to learn another way
rather than scamming and fleeing
finding something or someone
again to believe in

usually the best place
to begin and to start
is somewhere deep
within some bit truth
deep still within in your heart
a warm spot not all yet jaded
where a feeling small
can be built upon
architectural framing to be done
a journey to map and begin

distant times you will see
how much better doing so
for yourselves and others
can come to be

but the important thing
is just to somehow
somewhere start
each step and thought
just becomes easier
if and when you still yourself
and hold strongly to resolve
we all have a few days
not so positive and strong
when things just seem all wrong
but if we persist in wallowing
and stewing in bad energy thinking
not much good will come to pass

i've found if i instead decide
simply to cease and desist
and conciously make efforts
in another positive direction
the world opens her arms
and soon feeling right and warm
again takes over and honestly
without any remorse
knowing truth reigns yes
but we have to also do our part
and find our ways to shed old skin
break old habits and begin new ways
so we can aval ourselves of hope
that we can make happen
better tomorrows which slowly
will become a better today
 brawnydog
Joined: 5/12/2006
Msg: 158
a place for us novices...
Posted: 12/4/2006 7:25:33 PM
Gomer Pyle
blackeyed peas



I'm just a stupid sedated googly eyed boy
I guess it's what I want to be.


Me too, bro
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 159
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History
a place for us novices...
Posted: 12/4/2006 8:10:43 PM
ooh, TiM, how did i forget to thank you for your post, the first on this page?!
so vewwy sowwy, not myself; achy sick and sniffly. thanks for stopping and adding here!

MiMiMi, as always you're shining with your writes, glad to see you and hoping all is well
with you these days dear. thank you for your kindness.

flash/sedated googly eyed boy i wish i were sedated right now so i could sleep right through
this yucky bug i caught. you are always welcome here sedated, googly or just you!

brawny, moo! next time i hope you'll indulge us with a bit more of what's in that mind of yours;
i've read what you're capable of!

just too sick to muster anything up, dears. but i hope everyone has a fantastic week!
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 160
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History
wild bunnies and kitty in moonlight
Posted: 12/4/2006 9:01:24 PM
autumn, thank you for your oh so kind words this night and leaving your lines herein too;
please know you are always welcome here even though you are far beyond a novice in any sense
of that word!

i too wonder
sometimes lazily
sometimes ruminatingly
at life and her ways
with us and our lives
and very hearts

so sorry to hear
you are sad dear
with such lovely
fun goings on
in your upstairs
but perhaps not
in your mind or heart

tomorrow dawns
a new fresh day
maybe there will
come a way
for all to see
and to know too
methinks its best to
not go looking
for some things
but rather just be
open to their
happening in our
lives minds and hearts

not meaning to be sad
but sometimes yes
someone writes something
that touches me, hard
and then my mind is off
my fingers typing out
the rambling in my mind
not even caring
if it rhymes

i'm not blue but whiney
just feeling sick
have cozyed myself
all up in softness
trying my best
to get through
feeling miserable
not knowing quite
what to do to hasten
my healing and make
my stuffy runny
head from reeling

so lovely to read
your lines herein
now i'm reminded of
bunnies long ago
but not in snow
these wild 20 or so
once in twilight
long now passed
sat in my front yard
with my fat white cat
he thought i think
he was one of them
curious he meant no harm
and somehow they knew
by light of a full moon
in faraway spain
they nestled in grass
so sweet the memory
thank you for that!
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 161
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History
similarity
Posted: 12/5/2006 4:38:56 PM
our bodies hunger as do our sometimes our hearts
even when the mind may think very differently
for we're all but human animals you see
governed by our thoughts and feelings
our desires and needs too
i and he and she alike aren't
really so very different from you

i liken it to our all being
animals inside human bodies
that makes us sometimes
act in ways that keep
our hearts from turning
to cold stones
not so much as fear of being alone
as being where we are meant to be
sometimes takes us on different paths
till it's clear and plain we see

just a test or two or maybe even three
to keep us on our toes it may confuse us
just the smallest bit to see where
and how we sometimes just must
simply follow our nose

powerful is scent of the known
and seemingly oftentimes appears
as lesser of two evils
until when or if we decide
once and for all we're finally able
to be truly done or if we are indeed
meant to be done for we've been
taught to walk away means failure

other times taking solace and comfort too
we freely partake in being singularly one
no hurry nor hastening no rushing
nor any contest of any other to be won

somethings are just undone til they're finished
completely and honestly with both understanding
until then and not before remains a bit of romancing
unanswered questions held at bay and at arm's length
seems confusing while perhaps in that very excitement
wreaks another sort of havoc along the way

if at first thought somethings amiss
it can be figured out in one or may ways
but only when the time comes
for it to unfold and unfurl
becoming blatantly clear
worry not after thinking and feeling your way

any two people drawn again together tied
of and from joined pasts well that isn't to be judged
by anyone else not asked as not having walked in
similar shoes then they might never understand

do always remember to follow your heart
even if it seems no one understands
for all must life their own lives
one certain thing is surely true
you will always need your self respect
more than any other's understanding
and you can hold your chin up high
knowing you allowed yourself just that
need to recognise a small fact inside
that if you'd not decided to go ahead or follow through
rest of your life might be spent and left wondering
even aching inside not knowing what then
might have been the right and best to do

some of us have been there at great sacrifice too
while not relating to martyrdom as some might guess
i flew across an ocean far and wide to do a similar thing
so yes i know down deep inside and i too am one of those few

the thing is my life is so very different now
but i no longer wonder because i had to choose
i flew back here across the same ocean after mere months
while i explored and walked through some very awkward doors
i know better than anyone else ever could what is in my heart
i am grateful to see other's sharing here feeling trusting
thinking this a safe place to lay out inner strings of hearts
thank you for not judging lest you yourself be judged, friends
i know opening up hearts inspires many here to do the same

thank you hopefulhun for your thought and emotion provoking write!
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 162
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History
it's aboot time thorb; thank you!
Posted: 12/5/2006 6:38:29 PM
thorb dear another here
obviously not a novice
but always most welcome
here are you surely
you understand this truth

yes i do agree
so many times lately
it seems not much
interaction betwixt
the two of us be

although i always
scourge the posts
reading your lines
laid out thoughtfully
bringing to my lips
smiles infectiously
or causing reflection
here n there by your
simply and eloquently
sharing of yourself

i cannot or rather
stubbornly will not
apologize for my
small font but surely
you know to bug you
or make you squint
has never been my intent
its just me being me

i know that you know
and that makes me smile
i relish sometimes
i'm ashamed to admit
the mistakes others
sometimes make methinks
its for our amusement
and other times meant
for our frustration too
but its all good
all passing the time
with or without rhyme

meandering here
wandering there
always in divided
synchronicity
feels just fine

thanking you now
for stopping by
it's aboot frikken time!
you're so lucky
we're so far away
lest i chastise you
in some other horrendous way

as well methinks
you know i could
cunning thing i am
certainly capable of being
when feeling necessity
pulling and tugging
at me to be so
perhaps its just
tonight i'm finally
oh so better feeling

sorry to hear you too
had a touch of the
drat miserable flu
damn bug i commanded out
but it knocked me on my
butt so i just had to rest
and take it easy for a bit

i know not which sins
forgotten by friends
those which you write of
if they were mine
well then perhaps sadly
that's why i'd forgotten?
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 163
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History
a place for us novices...
Posted: 12/6/2006 2:04:11 AM
mary, nice to see you back; thank you for your lines and be well mon ami.
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 164
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a place for us novices...
Posted: 12/6/2006 6:47:31 PM
bang spot on, brilliant Mi! i so adored that very befitting for how i'm feeling right now, spoke volumes to me; thank you dear!

wtf are damn chiral molecular
structures to each of us anyway

rotating somewhat they are
i imagine as we too do
on this spinning whirling orb
green and brown and blue

doubtful?
none not even one
meaning absolutely
none in this
particular sense
has ever been located
ever
the most simplistic
of all definitions
is this
molecules chiral
are not in any way
possibly ever
superimposed
on its very mirror image

think on what this means
for even a brief moment
or not if you won't
but its kinda fun to
imagine the possibilities
well methinks so, anyway
even IF my mind is
neither technologically
or scientifically
well versed at all

that which we have been
taught to believe we then
accept and think of as truth
anything else if not in alignment
seems well perhaps preposterous
to most of us i think we can agree

but only indulge me if for a bit
if something that we have accustomed
ourselves to know and believe
is strategically different than
our very perceptions ahhh then
but imagine the many possibilities
that line of thinking may yet
even very much further expanded

okay say we see an object
or taste or feel or smell it
but what about those things
we have not been taught to see
or taste or feel or smell?
those that are perhaps
right in front of us or me or you
that we cannot see because we
have never been shown it before
so as it then becomes so very
unrecognizable we are blind
to its very real and true existence

has anyone here ever seen
what the bleep do we know
and actually gotten past all
the shitty cartoony parts
so elementarily based but
almost necessary so that we
can better and more fully
understand the underlying
ideas ideals and thoughts

to me it means simply this
there is so very much yet
to be learned while we are here
that has not YET been proven
and that my friends i think
is pretty damn amazing indeed

to begin thinking in terms of science
technology health and life
ideas are as water made up
of but many droplets of information
consider the vastness of possibilities
for therein your very soul
your very body and yes even your
emotions reside and dwell
each of us are unique as snowflakes
with all such different possible
twists turns and outcomes
yet so very similar structurally
who is to say what is true
and as well what isn't real

only the dreamers methinks
as they have braved themselves
taught a new way of thinking
beyond themselves and the proven
they have within them hope
and that IS capable of producing
miracles and transformations
in their own and other's lives
chiral molecules ohh yes please
 triplebp
Joined: 10/6/2005
Msg: 165
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History
a place for us novices...
Posted: 12/6/2006 10:09:19 PM
Dreams

Beyond the stars my memories sway
Of a distant path that marks the way
To memories of days gone by
Lazy days staring up at the sky
Imagining a life far away from here
Lying on a beach drinking a beer
The sun is hot with a gentle breeze
Blowing slightly flowing with ease
But beyond the stars my memories sway
Hoping these dreams will take me away

 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 166
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History
a place for us novices...
Posted: 12/7/2006 6:31:42 PM
thank you, triplebp; never knew you were a poet, thanks for your provoking lines, feel free to stop back anytime.


i too hold close memories
to my heart most tightly
of those particular kind
before this, my mind
became so infected
with over thinking

charmed life once led
living on many beaches
near and far away
sometimes yes
my rememberances
also too stray

so many days
and even nights too
on the beach
picnics in the sand
parties at the condo
simply strolling
hand in hand
so many hours spent
collecting flotsam
and jetsom on the way
wine upon the terrace
breakfast in the sun
bbqs all lazy like
yes those were some
of my better days

but now life is quite
different here in this
desert land
no more walking
hand in hand
other things to do
other friends now
i have lost touch
with so many friends
from my past

but now i have
so many new friends
living here in this place
still finding lots of
laughter and smiles
playing across my face
 triplebp
Joined: 10/6/2005
Msg: 167
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a place for us novices...
Posted: 12/8/2006 1:28:28 AM
softEDGE

A novice of sorts but a poet? ........Maybe I've left a few words here and there

Sometimes it Rained

Your heart beats your mind races
Staring forward…seeing through faces
Your mind is locked with what’s in the past
Looking forward wondering if you will last
Wishing upon fiction for life’s fairy tale
To take you away…down a new trail
Reality sets in and you are wondering in vain
Stumbling this mess…life’s new pain
Conjuring up visions of the world ahead
Wanting to hide from where life has led
The truth is that all of this will fade
Life will move forward and your debt will be paid
Later in life you will look back at this mess
You’ll have learned your lessons and know you can rest
Knowing your life is worth everything you have gained
Empowered from everything…knowing that sometimes it rained

 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 168
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this season IS personal
Posted: 12/8/2006 5:31:48 AM
this morning cold crisp here
i find myself still sick
eyes actually appearing bruised
from an infection in my sinuses
and now spreading into my chest too
but i am healing even better feeling

i slept hard but awakened
earlier than i usually do
here i came and found blessings
left from others writes
left earlier this am and too
some as i slept last night

flash always leaves a gift
his thoughts play in my mind
evoking in me strong things
this cannot be ever denied
thank you for that

now handy too reminds me
of simple yet heartfelt
what i consider kindred truths
thank you as well

triple now bestowed his own
thoughts herein once again
anyone reading these lines left
is touched as me i'm sure
thank you too kind sir

ok so yes i am nostalgic
i shrug and blame the month
and perhaps too our hearts
thank you all for making me
smile and think this morning
before i get ready and go
to work as now i've read
something one can't eat but
on which i surely gratefully fed
inspiration is just like that

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

see for me it's just this way
now each december brings with it
so many spiritual but not religious
feelings deep to me
for this month is the anniversary
of my very favorite but now deceased
sibling's birth

always from that day
he passed have i
thought and felt
in this certain way
not as i used to
in so much the holiday
nor much of what it
heralds or represents
as its become commercialised
with santa and presents

original significance
now faded to the background
because now i feel and see
somewhat as does the pariah
because methinks differently
for if i hadn't had my brother
i hate to think where i might be
he was hero turned angel to me
i mean this most seriously
as literally he became my guardian
firstly when i was but a baby
but then later when i became a teen

i learned so much back when
i was but a tot from him
my dear now departed brother
he was funny smart and strong
he passed to me so many loves
truth learning art and song
and that i am worthy of more
he taught the little me that
i had rights to dream and soar

another thing inspiring hope
all peoples have their rights
to beliefs in their messiahs
or to not believe for you see
it is a most individual and
personal thoughtful choice to make
and one to really think and live
life a circle rather like a wheel
no one is better than another
especially in how we feel

i recall a night very long ago
on the anniversary of his birth
happens the eve of each new year
and in the midst of a loud party
back in alta loma california
i stepped outside into the cold
i looked up to the brilliant stars
to say a thankful blessing to him
when suddenly one was shooting
across the sky in a wide berth
his love to me still precious
made with gleaming clarity
in what i consider still a sign
love does transcend space and time
and yes definitely even death too

now december means hope and yes
a miracle my own heart witnessed
of love pure and unconditional

while i for many reasons
don't have children of my own
nor a spouse now to hold
or a family to hold as my own
much hope and love and light
are very much embedded
deep within this heart
especially in this season
deeper are layers of meanings
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 169
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amends
Posted: 12/8/2006 5:39:41 PM
Mi i am saddened once again dear
upon seeing you've decided
to once again take your leave
me not knowing what's to become
of you and in my thoughts
i'm hoping true
that you are on your
intended path
ignoring any holding wrath
allowing tears to well and spill
if they come from deep within
so you can heal and begin
to take your baby steps
onto your meant rightful path
let nothing deter you
of this earth
you surely must own your worth

ad my kindred
while with certainty
i confess i am happy
you are back and whole again
i know not what happened
as i hadn't really been told
in so many words so as to glean
but all the same
i'm glad to see
you back and always dreaming
somehow methinks you missed
my message lain out in earlier font
but its ok 'cause we
always have the rest of days
to catch up and get back on track
soul sisters have back!

flash i'm sure you can more share
and let us know of whom you were
inspired to write your poetic lines
pretty please, if you will
i know you can

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

today i again
spent time in traffic
pondering events
i had the time
to revisit something
turning over in my mind

amends are good
to make whenever
one has the chance
to do so with conviction
methinks its best
to seize them
when and if they appear
those opportunities at hand
play them fairly out
be truthful and sincere
so as to have
no further doubts
it works out
if the other
has the patience
and understanding
to lend an ear

we are each of us
yes me she and he
i you and them
exactly where
we precisely at
this very moment
meant to be

for reflection
growth or understanding
take your time
to figure out
what you need
as well as what
you can live without

this can take a bit of time
procrastination
feels like slime
stagnation and boredom
aren't meant to rule
except perhaps in
minds and hearts
of fools

be ever clear
as best you can
amends are
better to address
lest something fester
possibly growing
into a hornet's nest
stings like fighting
never good
require loving mud to cure
but not to fling
without cares
which will indeed
come back to haunt

weighing down of souls
who pay no heed
relying instead upon
worldly greeds

take a moment
breathe deep within
forgive someone
a passing sin

this has a way
of unburdening self
burying transgressions
or setting them to fire
casting far away
so can dawn
the clear new days

trouble not yourself
of trivialities
as people who deceive
easily in time
show true colors
and usually on
themselves wreak
the worst havoc

if your mind and heart
are both true and pure
that gift is shared
with others and yourself
presenting cures
of any ailments
and keeping safe
those that practice
hope and faith
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 170
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clarification rendered
Posted: 12/8/2006 6:40:00 PM
thank you for sharing
and letting us all know

a story unfolded
as not all do
of a woman
whom whilst
still deeply in love
could not physically
any longer
adore her intended

fate has her way
with all of us
this much is true
cause of much blue
sometimes even
far more easily
remembered
sad but true

we are the romantics
thought by some as fluff
and needing to toughen up
but i say no, impossible
i cannot pretend or act
to be that which i'm not

some can pull it off
with aplomb and ease
but somehow they
usually ending up
to insightful ones
just smelling rotten
like bad cheese

so now we know
the story and how
it and she came
to inside you grow
flowing swiftly into
ironic inspiration

her story now i can feel
and better understand
what one true lover
wouldn't pine to be in the arms
of the intended
and forever lost other
perhaps although not in
any tangible earthly ways
her solace like many of ours
lies sometimes best in our dreams

reality can be harsh we know
eating crow taking a stand
becoming a stronger
woman or man
when not knowing quite how
or why we must
dreams sometimes die
and turn as ashes to dust

but oftentimes what's at stake
and outcome otherwise
seems to give up to give in
to cease to live
to stop trying to believe
unmotivated to love
afraid of losing again
turning instead as jade
cold and blackened stone
not letting anyone ever
again to our hearts get close
a sad refrain from many
we can hear it if we try
quietly sinking people
no longer daring but
crying and shattered
most deeply inside

sometimes just by
merely looking
its undetected
by even the most
honed and careful eyes

better to seek out kindred
if in friendship
that feels safe
until or IF
and that's a big IF
humans can learn
some way to graciously
just be true and themselves kind
to others until its clear
many are meant to be left
in your very wake

many parasites exist
feeding on others true
if allowed to freely
consume till one day
one becomes very bored
tired of feeling hurt
decides to run away
or gets eaten one day

my mind is purring
thinking weirdly
cold here needing
a fire lit warmly
within this hearth
some food for the
first time today
and more musings
to further with stray

thank you for
the clarification
my initial instinct
you see was to
shroud myself from
the hurt in the story
so went off on tangent
turning twisting gory
trying to block that
which was easily felt
and touched something
deep in me is her pain

inspiration is amazing
the ways it unfurls
 triplebp
Joined: 10/6/2005
Msg: 171
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clarification rendered
Posted: 12/10/2006 2:02:05 AM
As I awoke the world all a haze
I look around at the world with amaze
I fall back into unconsciousness
Only to wake with absentmindedness

Its hours later and all I sense
The people around me in great suspense
My family, my friends are all there
Each taking a turn with no one to spare

Time goes by and I’m in the clear
They whisk me away without any fear
Visitors come and visitors go
As time goes by my face starts to glow

I’m feeling better as the days go by
I’m in pain but I cannot cry
I must be strong for them not to see
In a matter of days I will be free

Free to leave and go at my pace
As time goes by my mind won’t erase
The scars that remain are not circumstance
For my heart has earned a second chance
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 172
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thank yous all round
Posted: 12/10/2006 11:10:40 AM
mary, thank you so much for again leaving such an amazing and touching write!
love everything you leave, ty.

triple, glad you made it through, i have for a long while read many of your posts in other threads and welcome your posts herein as well.

i also wanted to thank everyone who has posted here since the inception of this thread.
it means a lot that you have left a part of yourselves here, and i have been very touched by many. inspiration is always a good thing.

 triplebp
Joined: 10/6/2005
Msg: 173
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thank yous all round
Posted: 12/10/2006 1:11:52 PM
wow and I thought I was just swimming.........aimlessly


 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 174
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never aimlessly
Posted: 12/10/2006 4:52:25 PM
i have found
many times
when initially
having thought
i was thinking
or feeling aimlessly
doing or going through
anything at all

actually
after a bit of time
and or scrutiny
oftentimes
that is exactly where
i was supposed
to be

at those times
often things turned out
suspiciously
just exactly right
withstanding and
not withstanding
anything in my
mind, heart or might

never aimlessly
but always
with purpose
sometimes just
not at the present
moment known
or clear
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 175
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missing my mother again
Posted: 12/10/2006 5:11:09 PM
i must thank adam as he made a post that touched me deeply.
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts6057762.aspx
as it was there i just left the following, of which had been in my mind and heart, trying to find a place so because he so inspired me to get it out i did, albeit a bit rough.

wishing everyone a blessed holiday and bright new year full of promise and hope

this
is the 2nd year
for both now missed
will be the anniversary
of her birthday and
another Christmas
for now i too am without
my mother

no reason to
pick up the phone
to call and hear
her laughter
her love
her trying to hide
her pain by joking

she herself did
for many years
but quit
but then
she could and did
then chided me
for smoking

can no longer
call on her for
one of her recipes
to turn out
from my hands
and kitchen
just so

or just to hear
her voice
and know
that bond
between this daughter
and her beloved dear mother
now lives on entirely
in my heart and mind
as love such as this
transcends distance
space and time
and yes even too
death

for now
i am grateful
for my memories
and knowing
i had her for
many years time
comforted now
by Divine
and well
just knowing
she was mine
and i was hers
for so many years
our bond still strong
even if now
sometimes still
and through quiet tears
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