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 escaping life
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 176
missing my mother againPage 8 of 36    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36)
your poetry is amazing and it gave me the courage to post something of my own.

To wish
Wish upon a star
Wish upon a four leaf clover
Wish for goodness
Wish for greatness
Goodness in your heart
Greatness in everything you do
Wish upon a star
Wish for happiness
Happiness throughout your life
Wish upon a four leaf clover
Wish for luck
Luck in your corner
Wish for joyous moments
And friends to share them with
Wish for friends
Friends that are true
Friends that will see your goodness
Friends that will bring you happiness
Wish for this
To wish is to hope
To hope is to dream
All you have to do is wish

Joined: 10/6/2005
Msg: 177
view profile
What she has become....
Posted: 12/11/2006 9:32:36 PM
I close my eyes faces appear...
Out the of darkness hovering above
Hundreds, thousands maybe more
Peering, glaring, staring
Are these native spirits
Visions of ancient Indian right
Are they family, friend or foe....
Maybe they are angels
Sent to carry me home
They have come so many times
On and off it seems.....
Throughout recent years
As I lay my head to rest
Watching over me
Caring, keeping, protecting
Who ever these faces may be
I thank you kindly for standing guard
Keeping me tender and strong
Then vanishing fading away
Leaving me to think
Thank you for again gracing my night
And I hope you are always there.....
Watching, guarding and protecting her
For here my work is not done
And I thank you for this tremendous gift
Where my heart has longed to be......
For one day she will grace my eyes
And I’ll get to see....
The beautiful creature that has grown
And the beauty that she has become

Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 178
view profile
thank you
Posted: 12/12/2006 4:40:56 PM
escaping, thank you twofold; for your very kind words and leaving such a hopeful write here! please know you are welcome here anytime.

triple, thank you as well for such an amazing write!

i am sick
i am both
tired and weary

more quiet
at those times
than others
most surely
but still
the embers
within await
being stoked

and know
just know
they will
one day or night
to blaze anew
i am
not so sick
or so tired and weary
or feeling quiet
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 179
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The Beat of Completion.
Posted: 12/12/2006 7:25:11 PM
dear flash
baraka within
you true
i find myself again
thanking you
for your grace
and your perfection
and most sincerely
Joined: 10/6/2005
Msg: 180
view profile
thank you
Posted: 12/13/2006 8:03:01 PM
thanks softEDGE

it is the time of year for reflection
where we seek love not perfection
a time we think of making amends
of all good things and the promise it sends
but most of this time of year
we think of others and spread cheer
I think of the ones that have such sorrow
and hope they have a better tomorrow

Hoping all a "happy hollandaise"

Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 181
view profile
Posted: 12/14/2006 5:25:53 PM
love is sometimes
rarely forgotten
as it always
leaves it's traces

as well there's hope
for self or another
doesn't always have
same meaning for both

time is relative
in so far as in space
within a heart
or some other place

integrity shows others
just exactly where
they you he she stands
it is unmistakable
for child woman or man

laughter can heal
snakes and demons
outside or inside
scars hurting so real

a warm smile can mean
so very much
to another even unknown
giving courage is free to
those most deservedly worthy

forgiveness is such
an individual thing
some cannot ask nor
can some ever bring
themselves it to give

i sit quietly here
thinking dreaming awake
knowing with sorrow
sometimes one cannot ever
take back the largest mistake

the above attributes
although free to disperse
for most of us here
to those we hold tightly
inside and most dear

sometimes it's too late
to just live on knowing
leaving to fate
resigned and hopefully
learned recognized now
still cannot be undone
destiny has her ways
with each of our fate

don't wanna be preaching
nor seem like i know
but each day is a gift
and a new chance to grow
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 182
view profile
wolves in the play of life
Posted: 12/14/2006 5:48:03 PM
thank you triple, yes i know what you mean.
sometimes the hardest hit don't realise their own strength.

recently i was deceived by two women i considered as friends. i turn my cheek and am grateful to know that truth shows herself. in these cases, sooner than later.

wolves in sheep's clothing
may pose ever watchful
perhaps even preying and stalking
one thing is certain
always they firstly begin
attracting innocent or gullible
openly acting as friends

manipulation deceit even
fakery sometimes abound
best to head for higher ground
leave them to their packs
of like minded sisters n brothers
sick like themselves
they best understand one another

playing their games
and doing their deeds
waste not your time
trying to figure out greed

they think they're smarter
or they feel they're better
can't ya just remember
someone just such as that
to a t to the letter

they live to feed
as parasites do
they hide themselves
amongst me n you
they pretend convincingly
but somehow smell differently
if you have been prey
you understand what i say

you might never know
but if you do see one
take your fastest leave
so as to make certain
its not your blood
they think they might need

not worth wasting your energy
not worth hearing the sounds
of gnashing of teeth all 'round
nor of the outright deceiving
as innocent they may look
and shocked if you state
that which you know
they'll not hesitate
to lie to your face
and smile so cunningly
as when they turn away
sure as you're reading this
them, well yeah they
are already moved on hungrily
searching looking for new prey

some just live to feed
it may be all that they know
having not yet learned
nor how to be human yet shown
yes of them we can choose
to learn and of selves further grow
grace is something acquired
and blessed it is
for we aren't hungry and preying
undead as those wolves
Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 183
view profile
Plenty of fish in the sea
Posted: 12/15/2006 8:09:20 AM
This is my feeble attempt that I do for you and trust me, it is very random and very silly. Here goes my pride

There are plenty of fish in the sea.
There are pretty little fishies. Big ugly fishies.
Ones that bite, and some that will eat you.
But there is only one special fish in that great big sea, that is the fish for you.
And that of course me! am i doing so far?

The pretty little fishies only care about how they look.
But that is not the most important.
The big ugly fishies pretend to be a pretty little fishie.
But then they miss what is important.
The fishies that bite will catch you and nibble on you and hold on to you and not let you go.
The fishies that will eat you up, well they didn't think that you were good enough for them.
Which leaves you with your one special fishie.

So, your one special fishie, she learns about all the other fishies.
Sometimes she is a pretty fishie. And sometimes she feels ugly because she is a big fishie.
This specail fishie will definitly nibble on you and sometimes gently bite.
She will not hold on to you if you don't want her to. But will let you go if need be.
Well this special fishie will definitely eat you up, but only if you are on the menu.

Now you can keep this special little fishie, going one day at a time.
And every day that passes will confirm that you chose the right little fishie.
Or you can pass her by and see if there are any other special little fishies.
There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 184
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Experiences yet unfurling
Posted: 12/16/2006 11:45:38 AM
ty pooh for your write, glad you visited and posted; thank you and happy holidays!

hopeful; again another set of lines as could only come from your fingertips; thank you for leaving them.
all the best to you this holiday season and wishes for a new year full of hope, love and light! you are always welcome here.

maturelove, thank you for your very provacative post. yes it is often true that while we are in the midst of life's experiences we may not at all understand our purpose or the meaning of those very experiences~ BUT
if we can quiet ourselves and be patient, surely unfurls the clarity and purpose of what we have experienced or chosen to experience! we will talk very soon, you know i am sincere. well, i hope you know i am.

lazy saturday morning
sleeping in
then coffee
made for me
just as i like it
sweet, half and half
with yes, chocolate
with a cigarrette
and company challenging
just as such a saturday
ought to be

yesterday a dreary
and sad day for me
my passed dear mother's
birthday anniversary
and a day of excrutiating
physical pain prompting
taking half a day off
to visit an oral surgeon
a dear friend also
took half a day off
from her work
to take me in case
i needed emergency surgery
pain for months
caused the professionals
to surmise i might
be experiencing a systemic
reaction to infection
alarming but turned out
thankfully unfounded
since when does
a recommended emergency
appointment turn into
falling asleep in a waiting room
wracked by pain so bad
it exhausted me
and yet wrought
no further answers
conclusions nor treatment?

frustration further ensued
then racing around
hurrying to pack a bag
and escape to try
my very best
to turn life itself around
and try to have a pleasant night
dinner out and driving around
looking at Christmas lights
in one of the oldest neighborhoods
quaintest prettiest in town

then on to the artisan bar
for a drink in a dark and
most pretty place
oil paintings on ceilings
pool outside with cabanas
cold yet graceful beautiful too
a library of sorts
chessboard bookcases
lit sconces and of all things
a dj turning jazz
deep soft leather couches
and chairs smoke
twirling pluming into air

stop at store on way home
strange assortments
into basket
dove ice cream bars
bananas and icy hot
relieved my pain
pirates of the caribbean
dozing snuggled in a quilt
getting up to go to bed
the res of details
here won't be said

just another saturday
grey and cold outside
inside warm and comfy
cotten soft against my skin
coffee made for me
and now i take my leave
the day ahead unfurls

Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 185
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agent saboteur
Posted: 12/18/2006 1:27:00 AM
witty i must again thank you for making me think while i was already doing so this morning
here as i couldn't sleep. you and your writes are always welcome each and every time.

agent saboteur
adept as such
sometimes denial
can be an ugly truth
we might hide from others
but can never truly
from ourselves

blame not youth
nor experiences had
for if a true saboteur
is just that
then well
they already know
deep down inside
just where ugliness grows

better to be able
walking upright
on this planet
to make certain
that yes we
n i really do mean
each of us knows

only truth has the chance
as even if difficult
its where honesty
integrity and trust
flourishing lushly grows

agent saboteur
time to admit
if firstly to self
time to put weaponry
upon highest shelf

face the music
admit past wrongs
let not wounds fester
mean it when you ever
say words like love
never always forever

be sincere in heart
mind body and trust
a place exists for
each of those things
and more~ even lust

don't say you will
if you know you won't
or can't or have doubts
maybe then its better
follow and be true to
yourself to the letter as
only then can one ever have
enough to give to another

life is amazing
it can bring joy
unto yourself
and yes others too
through your very
works and demonstrations
sometimes more than
words can ever do

i have felt tainted
as well i've felt blessed
the rest of this singular
mine wondrous life's journey
remains but owning my test

no words mean enough
best succinctly nor could
ever define simple text
time to stop being
so simple and tough

will and compassion
forgiveness and deeds
spent taking time
to be always truthful
time to lay down n rest

tomorrow dawns a new day
chance to exemplify seeds
sown but from needs
never could be more
than tangly thorned weeds

agent saboteur
not provocative either
what's the point
just jump down from high horses
even the most beautiful steeds
just be myself eschewing greed

tis the time this season
this year opening up
chancing being even more real
without the moat or the gates
laying down of the swords
chains of past happenstance
look toward the light
feeling warmth of sun on your face
make certain integrity never misplaced

some and more many folks don't need
any of those sorts of things
nor understand why others
cling tightly and of them believe

i've decided here this very eve
most decidedly my bluntness
really isn't always so good
realizing tact and patience
are far better choices to strive for
as it's not always about
my feelings or even sometimes me

lessons can be difficult
to learn to chance swallow
but better are they than to
accuse blame and or wallow

doubts can eat us alive
that is if we let them
and now why would we allow
ourselves to feign as
agent saboteurs
while life is us calling

don't let the demons
play in your mind
don't give them
either place or time

i recall an admonishment
from way far back in my past
i was so young then
i could understood not
but now and so very plainly
tonight i most certainly do
"don't paint the devil on the wall..."

as he just might become too real
making perhaps very thoughts
play tricks in the mind as doubts
and those are some of the very
worst of habits to engage in or display
usually unfurling in such
tumultuous frays of our ways
for any true agent saboteur
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 186
view profile
flying ino color
Posted: 12/18/2006 9:25:12 PM
yes this is me
this mind runs wild
rampantly even sometimes
in too many directions
wanting wanting wanting
greed of misplaced affections
better say i than affectations

dependence becomes horrible
when it's like a drug
swallowed obediently
twice a day cut in quarters
i know of which i speak
but still there exists need
of always wanting more
and damn not just everything
can be bought at the store

yeah need can be so ugly
but fear is just as bad
cold and empty as those
promises never to be had

readers read and scoff
writers may empty their souls
where does it all end
but when the smoke unfurls
begins life anew and different
yeah just like that phoenix
ways of thinking living even
flying to vistas unseen as yet
sometimes just merely breathing
ha merely breathing natch

experiences we each choose
some are far more clever
in this journey we call life
knowing wrong from right
ending when they sense strife
smart and blessed are they

intelligence has nothing
at all to do with iq
but more borne of actions
respect is listening
trying to understand
never to accuse
patience is indeed a virtue
for she unfolds softly
as a delicate flower
opening up to kiss the dew

color and texture comfort
keep safe from memory
twisted realities denied
i close my eyes to see
no its no conundrum
i mean it very clearly
i close my eyes to see

many times color saved my life
believe it now or not
it literally swooped me up
it swaddled me in safety
and took me from hatred
but sadly has not been able to
completely erase that within me
programming within just yet

when i was young
just a slight and slender
wheat color headed tot
brown eyes large with wonder
innocent back then
with already rotted spots

my brother was an artist
my brother in laws
both pedophiles
swirls and memory of color
took me from harm
led me to safety
gave me lifelong appreciation

have you ever seen a painting
that you could not comprehend
yet moved by same had water spring
forth from your very eyes

i have had that lovely
of an experience too
color is amazing
full of depth most true

one dependence i won't
turn from nor
apologize ever for
besides words you see
why i love color even more

it makes no sense to many
but those who truly know me
completely do understand
think anything and it can happen
if only in your mind
perhaps that alone
can take you to another
better place and time

but greed and earthly ways
are but written as with dust
take utmost of care
with whom you share your lust

they may not have the time
nor want to be patient
to understand just why
for someone so blunt
communication goes in circles
and sometimes it gets stuck
still i keep trudging forward
even through my own yuck

erotica means different things
to each and every one
deciphering kindred without
exhausting reserves is or isn't
yet still so very simple to see
with whom i am safe to be just me

while yes i am most certainly blunt
oftentimes it's still difficult to
even whisper that deepest within
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 187
view profile
thank you each
Posted: 12/20/2006 1:06:20 AM
dearest ad
a simple yet heartfelt
toasting you soul sister
from far across the seas
only i raise juice
still healing, me
wishing always
you and yours
all the glory
love light and best
of all good harvest
returned to your heart
in this season and
coming new year
me tired and weary but
still full of hope
for you and me

mary too
i thank you
for stopping by
and leaving lines
so welcome every time
love reading and feeling
your painted writes
happiest of holidays
to you and yours too

stealin i thank
you too for here
leaving your thoughtful lines
many of us understand
completely that which
you left herein and i for one
appreciate the gift
of your heart
may you find all
which you seek
and more this season
and coming quickly
the new year
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 188
view profile
Posted: 12/20/2006 1:07:22 AM
this morning
awakened to snow
unusual for this
the desert

off to work
again in a rush
so much so fast
good to have
foundation of work
to concentrate upon
paper fires tackled
new hires hired
daily reports
other varied tasks
laughing joking
work such a good
outlet for me

day turned bright
with sunshine
another good
for me

dear sweet maid m
beloved wife
of a coworker
of much integrity
please gain strength
regain health
leave hospital
to return soonest
to your home
family circle of love
my hope for you
and yours
this season

another two fell ill
stayed on task
as best they could
appreciating tokens
small as all i
could do i did

driving home
time in traffic spent
eliminating crossing off
chores in my head
earlier feeling
head in hands
fetal position
off kilter
stress of months
found my center
toll about paid
now restitution
to be made
but only if
truly accepted
and believed
time and patience
will avail
deciscion of

lessons learning
higher yearning
open and availing
stilling self
winding down

knowing now
season's lists
left yet undone
work work work
still to be

and mantras
to be said
for him and her
and yes me too
bath to take
teeth to brush
relaxation due
before bed
and resting
this weary head

motion forced
stretching done
grape juice drank
no appetite

finally signs
resting again

because of
or in spite of
all the above
and more inside me now
the faintest smile
on these my lips
again comes
wee perhaps
but grateful am i
for this and yes
so much more
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 189
view profile
needin a thunk
Posted: 12/21/2006 6:44:24 PM
such sweet words and what a pretty picture, ty mary for the suprise upon my return!

alone for the holidays
apparently again yes
and deservedly so
i remind myself
this is the road
i carved and chose
perhaps this only
other saboteurs know

what a funk
the sinking feeling
i'm needin a thunk
to pull myself up
by my bootlaces
get outta this
stinkin thinkin
this drowning pool
of my own making
living today by
the thinnest string

too cold to hike
n i sold my bike
can't even imagine
drinks in front
of a fire cozy
warming my insides
but at least closing
the flue did help
the draft of the last
few weeks now gone
surely the electric bill
will piss me off
again yep
my own fault

sounds like a
good enough reason
to sleep the day
completely away
trying my best to
ignore the season
detest my own treason
covers over my head
sighing instead
of my usual laughter
other saboteurs know

can't figure out
this too damn
sophisticated camera
to upload and send
pics of treasures
to sell and lighten
the physical load

need to go through
years accumulation
of things and sell
toss or donate
one entire room
not a task
i'm relishing
but time ahead
to do it anyway
gotta start somewhere
it seems perfect timing
and no i don't care
if this is rhyming

4 long lovely days off
with plans for one
it'll be good i guess
just to rest and
trying to regain
something positive
in this negative refrain
whirling through my mind

tired of confusion
tired of thinking
time suspended shows
time to stop
so much thinkin

wanted to put up
decorations and play
in front of the fire
but now i'm afraid
i'm stuck in my own mire
afraid to step
onto the next land mine

rewinding thoughts
then pushing them away
afraid to unmask
so keeping feelings
pushed further away
now i just gotta get
through the anniversary
of a birthday of my
now deceased yet
still dearly loved brother
new year's eve baby
was he 12 years
older than me
lost in death when
he was but 33
twelve years younger
than i am now
and i am no
but even that
equation is easy to do
much as i hate to

it's tough to admit
but i gotta be real
sometimes its hard
to just admit
what i feel
when i feel it
ya know the saying
you hurt the ones
you feel closest to
well yeah it's true

sitting standing
tongue tied
not often for me
it happens yes
but oh so rarely
tonight again
i myself find
self ensnared in this
net of my own making
it's hard enough
to swallow it myself
why would anyone
else want to hear it
other saboteurs know
Joined: 10/6/2005
Msg: 190
view profile
needin a thunk......ponder this
Posted: 12/21/2006 7:25:42 PM
The season upon us and each of us knows
Everywhere you go the Christmas music flows
It comes from the speakers hovering above
Songs of Christmas, the holidays and love
We start wishing for all of these things
Music in melody while somebody sings
A time of reflection, giving and love
People shopping pushing and giving a shove
Grabbing last minute gifts to stick under the tree
Pushing and shoving trying to break free
Then when the big day finally arrives
They’ll open their gifts then go on with their lives
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 191
view profile
needin a thunk......pondering this
Posted: 12/21/2006 7:41:49 PM
tenz dear thank you
you are so kind
so real so true
speaking of heart
and too of your mind

and triple you too
thank you for leaving
your lines thunkin me
wee 'ittle head
with your rhymes

now comes autumn too
yes always so sweet
so dear and so nice
reading her is always
for me such a treat
thank you for being you

aww c'mon now people
don't you really then
recognize sometimes
it's ok to be blue
to be anxious
to be afraid
to hate wallowing
to want and want
and want even yet more

i'm discouraged is all
with commercialized stuff
getting caught up in reverie
and hating the fluff
i say what i mean
i shoot straight
from these hips
everyone that knows me
knows really it's true
i'm but a monster
a skeptic inside
afraid of falling
or letting him know
so i design something
crazy my mind overflows
thinking too much
hating all those damn
aptitude tests depicting
my life and my past
makes me a good pi
sometimes i ought
just hide my eyes
and zip closed these lips

i thought people might
understand what i'm saying
but what i'm here relaying
is being misconstrued
once again its easy to do
in cyber without inflection
lost in the fray
with no translation or flow

but i guess if not
well then it's true
only saboteurs know
when they've done
something mistakable
untraceable steps
cannot be taken
words once uttered out
cannot be taken back
thoughts brought to
surface cannot be unsaid

pushing away people
when i become close
is something i'm just
too clever at doing
even whilst not aware
it's just exactly that
doesn't mean it isn't
and this is a case of that
i need to relax
get over these feelings
the new year ahead
is what i'm instead choosing
hey i can still dream
and play in fantasy land
i'm hoping i'm churning
still developing my plans

i don't just have one
or just even a few
but far too many to list
just here or now
please know we are friends
thank each for showing
sweetness brashness
and such absolute class
yes i know this my funk too
shall pass when i can learn
to sometimes be quiet
and let life sweetly unfold
till then i just have to wait
maybe that is the trick
to pick up my own ass
and damn pretty quick

i'm not seeking pity
i don't seem to be
making the points
i am needing to
this night i better
maybe just read
Joined: 10/6/2005
Msg: 192
view profile
needin a thunk......ponder this
Posted: 12/21/2006 7:52:36 PM
I get ya softEDGE
I am much the same
Pushing and shoving
Not knowing the game
And yes it is ok to be blue
Thinking of friends and someone you knew

Maybe I should stop writing for once and just say....
soft don't sweat it we have all been there a time or two
I know it will pass
but maybe not today!

PS remember as we envy someone someone else envies us
Ironic ain't it?
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 193
view profile
irony tastes funny
Posted: 12/21/2006 8:17:07 PM
thanks again triple
yes thanks for
the reminder
you do really know
and yes it will pass
when i go with the flow

the roads and the rivers
the winds and the tides
all flow in their time
and this too shall pass
when i give it time
meantime it hurts
and now of all times
irony tastes funny
specially in the mind

i hate whining yet whine
i hate bitching yet am a bitch
i hate sniveling yet snivel
i hate being cornered but can do it so well
i hate accusers but i do accuse
i am a taunter the worst of the worst
i incite sometimes that which i don't seek
i despise confusion yet sit here befuddled
i hate those who feel sorry for themselves while sitting idle
and what do i do but sit here and cry my own river like as a baby i couldn't do
i hate liars and refuse to stoop to that at least but a problem is also my daring to believe and sometimes to reach for that which isn't, wasn't, never to be mine

pissed at myself so much so this night angry at these parts of mine
making up me and who i am sometimes deep inside
and yes this is just one of those times

again mind going in too many directions
reliving my own real transgressions
toward another in particular with no cure

something once sweet now gone in a blink
all because of this way i stinkin think
and then i reacted i pointedly accused
saying what i felt but bringing someone dear to anger most real

i hate hurting others because i know how that so deeply feels
now i sit and i'm left spinning my own wheels
he is right to be done says he hasn't the time
yeah he pegged me alright while missing entirely the point
i know and understand succinctly in fact

it matters not that i was real
enough to show him my fear
it's just such a f'd up way
to end the whole year

at least rudolph is on, and clarice is singing tomorrow is not far away...
Joined: 10/6/2005
Msg: 194
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irony tastes funny
Posted: 12/21/2006 8:56:27 PM

too bad the desert is so far
we could have toasted the irony
in a quaint desert side bar

we could talk about your sorrow
and drink some more of this pain
then again a toast this one for tomorrow

we could talk into the night
trade stories of fear, pain and joy
toasting till the moon falls from sight

but alas the desert is so far
the irony is the truth of life
even in a quaint desert side bar

Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 195
view profile
Posted: 12/21/2006 10:52:05 PM
too sweet, triple!
thank you friend afar
mmhmm too bad sarnia
is so far
we could have
toasted irony
in a quaint
sarnia side bar

we could talk
and likely
for the time
i'd forget
about this sorrow

we could maybe
forget about pain
if only for a while
then again toast
one for tomorrow

we could talk
into the night
trading stories
of fear pain and joy
toasting till the moon
no longer shines
brightly in the night
eventually falling
slowly sliding from
our very sight

but alas sarnia
is indeed
so very far away
yet we both know
the irony is
that truth of life
even in a quaint
sarnia side bar
is never far away
as close as our very
fingers minds and hearts

i'm addicted to this bar
i like the regulars
and the honesty of kindred
and i can silently scream
freely without fear
of hurting other's ears

no one knows the truth
until we dare to dream
and then it just unfolds
nightmare or a dream

this life it is
each our singular journey
some inner selves turning out
whatever we each make it
either with or without

it might not be too late
wonders never cease
we each go on our way
hurting hoping yearning
discarding leaving others
sometimes in our wake

i am walking forward
even if sometimes
i look backward
i close my eyes to see
gathering keeping close
to that which i aspire
or to one i might admire

i sense the promise
of fresh and brand new ways
it may take a year or more
but with patience strength
and depth not forsaking honor
i am reminded of a statement
today earlier made to me
and i await the coming weeks
with gleaming anticipation

after tiring weeks
of being sick and ill
now i am strong and well
physically much better
coming again from my shell

starting to chin up again
remembering who i am
not only who i was
despite or in spite
of the gentle nudging
of one so far away
the plans we all have
may take long to defray

advice from a sage one
very clever one indeed
although so very far away
helped me to end confusion
even if the hurt still stings
a simple and not so convenient
truth in gps thanks to satellites
are worth all money spent
hidden truths revealed to me
better present for myself
i could not have ever bought
or invested in for my future
even better than that plasma
not on my wall as i have found
and still believe even stronger now
truth so very easily conquers all
even at that heavy pain and price
who knows what it has saved me
i think and shudder thrice
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 196
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other's beauty shown clearly
Posted: 12/23/2006 4:27:13 AM
witty i do admit
last night upon
reading your post
water leaked from
my two brown eyes

tenz i too very
much like you
found i didn't
get enough rest
and yes i was
late for work

but today with
all it's haste
came realization
more grounded
mas solid than
in days passed

i have 3 days
more off and
have decided
to not let fate
have or take ways
freely with me but
instead claim it as
my own charted destiny

i so long for sun
snug warmth and fun
clearly nature and i
are long overdue
for a visit serene
it's too true
time to breathe
deeply and relax
best to stick to
the obvious facts

but now there's
so much to do
in so little time
feeling stronger
and healthier
in body spirit
and now mind
health returning
finally grateful
again to be me

friends over tonight
a few beers we did share
but mostly just so nice
feeling and knowing
these too they cared

i have some regrets
yet left in my self
but now see in focus
by turning to future
not giving into past
my soul isn't perfect
i'm always relearning
of possibilities vast

kindred sweet emails
warmest posts here
i'm reminded of friends
and so many wishes
from so many dears
had it's good place
of washing away tears

thank you for helping
is but the simplest phrase
to show me strength
in so many ways yet
showing me light and
reminding me the funk
was only a petulant phase

hopeful elf's poignant post
regarding those rockers
reminded me too that
we come into the world
we dare chance to dream
but sometimes forgetting
as we go about our days
caught in our individual fray
not stopping to acknowledge
other's beauty shown clearly
is forgetting how to live
the worst kind of bondage
is pushing others away

all too often those things
that we want most aren't
the same as those we need
or what another deserves
self complexities abounding
truly never a good thing
i hope metal soon finds
new reasons to inside sing
so loudly it bursts forth
from within to outside
truly believing it's surely
but just a matter of time

thank you all so much
welcome metalriff and
thank you for sharing
tis the season for that
and what better reason?
true kindred dwell here
and you are welcome
with your writes anytime
i hope soon this thing
you want most is what
you already have inside
watching it grow softly
like first embers of fire

within each of us all lay
the amazing potential
to attain that which we seek
of what we truly believe
for we are as the birds
who may one day soar
high over greenest of trees

happy holidays all
now i'm off to sleep
after i brush my teeth
so eloquent ha not
i'm too tired n beat
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 197
view profile
Posted: 12/23/2006 6:41:12 PM
a few truths i found in the forums; tweaked

we teach people
how to treat us

fear nothing

truth always comes out
with or without you

games of the heart
are for players
and eventual losers

as always thorb dear
you make sense seem
so simply found
as if but for trying
life is an easy ride
i'd love a shot of that
where can i get some

your words here this
morning brought tears
to my face now thrice
you've somehow aptly
accomplished that which
so many others near
seemed to have not

your words always
integral messages
not hidden in meaning
succinct and understood
with reason and clarity
thank you for delivering
this work you felt prompted
to leave today in this place
after some skirmishes and
sometimes too much silliness
i seem to have somehow
found myself here mostly
retreating it's been pointed out
not much into posting
in cooking and recipes
or even in the political threads
my mind has become sort
of a mush allowing myself
to a sort of deprogramming
if you understand while i'm
noticing too so many deep
also dropping from view
but you dear thorb seem to
be yourself you and stay true

while in my own way i find
myself not bringing smiles
except always at work
banter n quips fly off my cuff
it's become more my home
work is a most comfortable place
i'll be better when this season
more quickly has passed
then i can find an eventual
and better return to myself
then can afford to look and seek
out new and varied tasks
inner searching enough
spewing it out without reeking
or having to reach its just
how it is and oh yeah i do
hope you enjoyed whatever show
you attended, how'd it go?
Joined: 10/6/2005
Msg: 198
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Chocolate Drinks Tonight
Posted: 12/23/2006 9:03:55 PM
The drinks are of chocolate tonight
In this quaint desert side bar
The moon is shining in the sky so bright
But oh so very far

Hovering distant darkly night
Dancing in and out of sight
In this quaint desert side bar

The drinks are full of chocolate passion
In this quaint desert side bar
But we drink and try to ration
For later we have to drive the car

Hovering distant darkly night
Dancing in and out of sight
In this quaint desert side bar

The drinks taste of chocolate candy
In this quaint desert side bar
The conversation fun and dandy
We are finding out who we are

Hovering distant darkly night
Dancing in and out of sight
In this quaint desert side bar

The drinks again chocolate flavour
In this quaint desert side bar
Each and everyone to savour
Never taking it too far

Hovering distant darkly night
Dancing in and out of sight
In this quaint desert side bar

We are hovering in the distant darkly night
We keep dancing in and out of sight
In this quaint desert side bar

Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 199
view profile
Posted: 12/23/2006 10:27:39 PM
i am overwhelmed
this season and
find it somewhat
strange my cyber
sisters are quiet
my cyber brothers
are touching my
sensitive heart

triple so sweet
and so nice to
dream your lines
yes drinking
here this night
rare for me to do
while posting
but chocolate
temptation on rocks
going down so smooth
taking edges off soft

jd you have always
been so eloquent
it's hard to believe
i in any way helped
you to see anything
but you are always
welcome here and i
thank you for your
lovely writes left
for all to be inspired
you are welcome

once in every while
we all may need a hand
but one thing good is
so many here are real
and true spirits as we
write to and for ourselves
and for each other too
just ignore the frauds
and they will disappear

the real can only
be themselves jd
and yes of course
that means you too
because even if
sometimes we seem
to lose our way
in a bit of time
and yes patience
caring helps us too
steadily we regain it
by the simplest way
throwing the chaff away

fakers and ragers i cringe from
glad things unfold as they do
psychological projection is just
a defense mechanism wherein
one attributes/projects to another
one’s own unacceptable unwanted thoughts
and/or emotions thusly reducing
anxiety by allowing the expression
of the unwanted subconscious impulses/desires
without letting the ego recognize them
yeah some sick chit i know eh
learned a lot from many years of hard work
but i have a template i must admit
i compare to a man who was my brother

now here it seems i found a place
it's comfy too even if i am addicted
there are worse things than this by far
fakers liars cheats 'n pseudo wanna bes
oh my, deny them when you come upon 'em
don't even waste your time wondering
or wracking and wasting your brain asking why
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 200
view profile
A Different Kind of Friendship.
Posted: 12/24/2006 1:59:57 PM
hopefulhun, glad you are so edified being you; as we all ought be!

flash dear as always such a sweet sweet message herein, ty again.

i too am in a lighter mood
conversation cleared the air
no more pain wracked body
so more snakes winding
slithering round in my brain
they've been strongly banished
and not welcome anymore
sanity restored and regained

thoughts and feelings
can change if we steer them
taking note upon their entry
kicking them right away
demanding they leave forever
and not return again
we each of us holds that power
it was a gift bestowed upon us
remember to be good to ourselves
its the way we can learn and grow

this now is a day of energy
a day of plans n things to do
hurriedly i apologize
for this curt message
to and for all of you
i'm in a most happy rush
to get to where i want to be

thank you each and everyone
for daring and sharing openly
i wish to all a day of warmth
and cheer to last and keep you
as well the new year approaching
all the best wishes for everyone
who has graced these pages
daring to be themselves
now please go do something fun

happy holiday to all whatever your affinity

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