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Joined: 10/6/2005
Msg: 201
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A walk this silent night....Page 9 of 36    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36)
I took a walk on this silent night
Houses covered bright with light
Smells of fireplaces, houses share
Hovering in the crisp night air
Not a snowflake to be found
In the air or on the ground
A family within a window I see
Decorating a Christmas tree
Sharing love and tenderness
Holding hands a gentle kiss
Christmas carols on the radio
Wishing for a soft nights snow
To cover the ground a pearly pallid
Reminiscent of a sweet songs ballad
To make our hearts warm affection
Of this Christmas nights perfection
But the night is cool and crisp
Giving the air a slight winters wisp
Reminding me that tonight I’m alone
Wishing for tomorrow when I’ll be home
Having dinner with the ones that care
With the love and tenderness that we share

Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 202
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today began with yesterday
Posted: 12/28/2006 1:32:56 AM
thank you live for understanding and expanding on that which is in me,
happy new year and please return whenever you like.

triple thank you for your word painting, as ever powerful; i too bid
you the happiest of new year my friend.

today will begin
the tasks that
bring a smile to
this gamine face

today will reaffirm
all the hope and
goodness within
to flow outward

today i won't care
if anyone tries
to tell me my dreams
are not to unfold
but instead i will
smile quietly to myself

today is the day
my mind understands
time is nigh to
both corral and unleash
the passion inside
into different exact ways

sometimes an excess
of my mind's energy
and at others lethargic
sighing and dreaming

i have more than clues
i now more than muse
my passion flies
my strength soars
my spirits are healthy
i own my future
and it is lush
spreading before me
wider than ever with
now believable possibilities
Joined: 10/6/2005
Msg: 203
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today began with the yesterdays long gone
Posted: 12/28/2006 9:58:56 PM
~ BJW ~

Today my thoughts wonder
In life itself, something to ponder
I think of the year to come
Reflections of past left numb
What the New Year will bring
Harmony or the scorpion’s sting
A time of reflection and bliss
Happiness or a tender kiss
The path I have yet to stumble
Of a life left to humble
Will I meet my hearts regret
The little girl once asked to forget
Will I keep my promise, my swear
Eighteen years, will she even care
Will she ever comprehend
Can broken hearts ever mend
These thoughts forever in my brain
Scampering within perpetual pain
My fear is I will be deprived
When this day has finally arrived
I can only hope that when its time
Of a beautiful relationship, so sublime

Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 204
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grace shall triumph
Posted: 12/30/2006 2:24:04 AM
stevo and matt dears
yeah though black sheep
we may each in our own way be
whilst your kindness this night
you may never even know
or fully understand
even if i have a hard time
sometimes to show
how much time spent
doing the simplest things
can help chase away the
fog inside this month
when all i can do is pray
falling to my knees
most grateful i indeed am
thank you for just knowing
and taking the time
to get me out of my own mind
matt has some idea i know
thanks for dinner and company
and the movie was lush
loved the cinematography
as well as your company
thank you both so very much

in fact thank you all
yes so very very much
for leaving bits
of yourself here in my heart
so very appreciated
especially this am as i sit
here, cold inside
knowing love is a word
no one ought ever
use without meaning it
i never have nor never will
yesterday i had quite a surprise
today another yet
i can only fall to my knees
praying in haste
asking for grace
and calm restored
in time best known
not yet by me
for you see
i do just prefer and crave
but honest simplicity

sister far and lovely ad
yes thankfully you n i
we dare still to dream
even in the face
of known related adversities
we are strong
yes you can believe
we become even
stronger each day
we are alive
in the motions
of our separate lives
we have all the rest
of our yet unfurled lives dear
to make all our dreams
come completely true~
well those that are meant to
thank you for your
depth and care
meaning so much
this season now know
hopes dashed only as
ghosts take their leave
so as to make room
for new ones to grow
not snowing here
either but trust me
implicitly darling sister afar
when i tell you now
i completely do n true~
understand and methinks
you do know i do!
i have need of no spurs
neither yesterday
today nor tomorrow
for soon tis time to soar
and for those dear ad
we both have our wings
i offer you but truth
love and much wax
remember icarus?
you n i sister afar
we choose to mend
and fly playfully again

flash thank you too
for painting with
the strength
of your words
sometimes the
simplicity of grace
is indeed all there
is to be found
and although i am
impatient it's true
sometimes grace is
all that is needed
to find and regain
strength anew
meantime keep writing
keep sharing
keep bleeding if need be
just please keep returning
each write left causes
reflection and some sort
of learning thank you

triple thank you too
for your lines anew
sharing ponderings
during this a time
of deep reflection
for many as kindred
yes we wonder
yes we think
yes we may pause
yes perhaps even we fear
we dare to with another share
thank you for daring to show
yourself to us in this journey
we all reshape reinvent and weave

witty yes i do understand
danger was lurking
registering in the
third eye; the one
that just knows
thank you for sharing
what i feel just now
as i shake typing
coldness has returned
but thankfully i can turn
up the heat i can improvise
and i can be grateful
for what was, what simply is
and what is yet ahead
your eloquence too
sorely i needed
to read just now
so thank you

ravin i'd recognize you
anywhere no matter your
pixellated depiction of choice
for it is grace within your
words and heart that
are felt no matter
the distance betwixt us
nor how high you fly
thank you for stopping by
and your kindness always
extended as well your brilliance
i clearly as others
see in the shine
of your spread wings
i too am proud of each of you
and so very humbly honored
that you have all moved me
so very very much more
than any of you could ever know

mi mi mi so glad to see
your third coming thus far and
your so very kind and comforting
words left herein i see you too
understand complex and simple me
on this a cold desert morning
i am reminded of goodness
of so many of your friendships
and the grace and kindness
extended here for which i am
most grateful thank you
each of you

aquilino yet you're so far
always within touch
even if not within reach
i worry knowing what you
are going through
a conundrum of thoughts
feelings and experiences
not wanting to go home
is an awful thing indeed
i know the feeling
i know you know
thank you for sharing
all that you do beautifully too
but dear God man, iraq?!
i cringe at the thought

i must also say here
thank you SpiriT for your email
uplifting elixir needed and yes
we shall do as you suggest
this much i can promise you

jd too please know
your kindness extended
i wish i could repay
i bid you peace
release of agony
is something i too
understand as i dare
to bleed openly within
these pages until
the need is no more
to do so though
i grateful for the company
of such kindred spirits
and grace shown by one
such as yourself
thank you

mcmac i pray for you
strength is something
yes i know you can do
even if you feel
a rush of panic
or breath leaving you
just remember always
those two small hearts
big and full of love
for their daddy
remember way back when
schooldays so long ago
when we had no clues
how life twists and turns
but now surely we both know
we each of us creates
our own destinies
yours dear is lush and ripe
on the very verge
of life changing proportions
grander than you may imagine
dare to dream
dare to live
dare to love
begin with yourself please
i implore you friend
look and search way down deep
inside i'm only a call away
please throw away related pride
and you shall triumph
over any adversity

kimmie i sigh i do
i wish and pray
even when and when
you don't or can't believe
in things you cannot see
life new~ cancer caught
no not seen but yes felt
eradication every day
irradiation needed
for you have been given
a most precious gift
to live your life again
a second third fourth
how many chances?!
eat right no drinking
doing the right things
for yourself just seems
the best way to ensure
your future and yes
i still wish and pray
for you and yours
even though you don't
dare believe in things
you cannot see
dare to let your guard
down; allow yourself
to dare to dream

thank you, each and every one of you for helping me in my own struggle this difficult month; i only wish i could somehow do the same for you
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 205
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one day and a wake up
Posted: 12/31/2006 5:47:13 AM
coming now to
the foreground
of mine eyes
from within
my heart

i dare not
yet exhale
for that may wake
me from this dream
i don't wanna know
what that might mean

a warrior of peace
thirsty for knowledge
seeker eternal
within me
yes sometimes
not so timidly
so as to show
my hurts or
they might grow

i am a pioneer
striving always
to experience
that some dare
only to wonder
and dream about
time to stop
and let fall
the armor
it's safe now
again to dream
and then work
to make them
each come true

i bid the same
for each of you

me a spiritual warrior
i strive to call upon
reserves of inner energy
needed for this crusade
no exercise in futility

numerous challenges
though we all may face
i turn not away
from them my face
i hope you too
have that kind of grace
within yourselves too

all for the sake of
greater good i know
must begin strongly
from inside within
and then extend
to grow and share
sometimes perhaps
more than i dare

i hear the calling
yes and clearly so
preparations internal
positive now to begin
without haste nor waste

i know the feelings
i have for others
is reciprocated tenfold
this is truly a blessing
i feel hands of grace
intangible upon my face

patience required
and self restraint too
i am up to this task
what seemed unclear
now affords rhythm
i hear the far drums
and say yes
all in good time

i may hesitate
but i never falter
my heart knows truths
no more walking lightly
as if upon eggshells
working through my fray
with a faint smile
onto destiny's path
i'll learn my way
and earn each day

strength sometimes
misplaced misguided
fundamental force
taking flight returns
me and mine to grace

deferring to receptive
when it is accepting
expanding visions
now taking shape
the new year soon
to begin fresh
for all of us
i hope you feel
and sense it too

may our hearts
and thoughts grow
larger in learning
it's no big secret
that which separates
courtship from seduction
simple dears it's
consistency sought
of deepest inner evolution

we must all ready ourselves
and still souls in quiet too
for only then can we
learn and gain that
we each most need
just remember to breathe
sometimes i forget
and then things run amuck

what causes anyone to
stop and carefully think
may be the very reason
to not give up or sink

our thoughts and actions
regarding any situation
are signs divine
representing those
changes from within
while close at hand
powerful as we allow them
to reside and even be

dwell this new year
in light my friends
ad and thorb n
stealin kisses
so glad our hearts
can and do mend
mary too thank
all of you
for stopping by
again touching
my heart intangibly
but oh so strongly

happy happy new year everyone!
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 206
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wam happy contentment residing in me
Posted: 12/31/2006 2:21:25 PM
it's here darlings dear!
i am full of anticipation
i tremble with yearning
i abide with integrity
i widely smile as i read
words can sting
or they can feed
they can lash out
honestly and yes
sometimes make us
learn or feel
passion within
utmost care
yearning for
a better today
learning just
how to make
it happen
and putting
that growth to use
can be more than
even just fulfilling
for that is the wonder
of sharing and caring

but methinks
they do blend in
all the same ways
imprinted upon
our very minds and hearts
for we are alive
we toil and dream
not simply just as plants
or even studious ants
we can find and claw at
our choosing of all the
best in good in balance
all is right in this very day

stealin mi mi mi and om
dears thank you so very much
for your words like nectar
thirstily i drink and relate
knowing i am right inside
this new day has yes begun
prior to new year being sprung
unfolding strongly quickly
for you for me for everyone

are you all as ready
to make happen
beginning mmhmm
yes right now
the life of your
happiest most
fulfilled your
loveliest dreams?!

for yes i am indeed
most happy to be dusting
out this past year
and yes quickly too

do you dare
do you know
you are more than worthy
nothing nope naught
for only show
please do believe
think on this then
you'll surely really know

do you believe
in yourself as
strongly as you
really ought
to or begin know?!
it's a brand new day
with our brand new ways
of choosing just exactly
what we want and discarding
that we don't have use for
anymore 'cause it's a
beautiful brand new year

this is not merely
something you
are just along for as
a lackadaisical ride
now is the time
to twist into your grooves
with your sincerest
and deepest smile
if it's all for you
well hey whom better
to smile with and for
the rest of this journey
of life behind that door
grasp it's knob strongly
allow yourself the strength
open it fling it widely open
then step inside and further
much further than you dream

naw this ain't pretend for you
nor for me or even the time to be
false whether to others or yourself
but i know this about all of you

well hang on baby
'cause this is the day
as the the surely sing n say
this is the day
your life will surely change
i add in but only if
you allow yourself to
make it happen
i think they forgot
that part in their song
rhyming and reasoning
infected mind bomb indeed

now the year's end
folding in on itself
it's nigh at hand
it's now right here
this time it's for real
to turn forward ahead
and now take your turns
experience gratitude
remember lessons learned
be grateful past is past
and future lushly ahead

jump into opportunities
without backward glances
prepare for your journey
stretched beautifully before
you and deep inside know
you are safe yes you are
when you step onto hope
she will not forsake you
but ya cannot sit n mope
for it now is here
the magic of time and
best good cheer oh dears
please do know i adore
each one of you so
and bid you each one
right at the very moment
you read this if you do
make it thus far
i hope you each have
the very happiest of
possible new years!

now some will roll their eyes
or hold back their tongues
won't allow their disgust
to flow from their fingers
onto electric pages but may
think me sopping with drama
of sentiment gone wild oh yeah
i admit it sure might be tiring
after a while but i won't divert
or try to be anyone else but me
just won't and can't help it
when my heart jumps too
from my very breasts
no rivulets of tears to puddle there
but only strongly beating of heart

n nope i dun even care really truly
if you think me silly crazy or daft
it's just me being perfectly me
and just who i am meant to be
for i am a dreamer yes and
will continue weaving my own dreams
i swoon when i swoon n yeah so what
if i fear when i fear i am not you
and thankful that much i know
i yearn when i burn
i cheer and smile but
only when truly so inclined
and oh yes i freeze when i seethe
but so do prefer acceptance
then it's just easier for me
to just be all me yup fully
and simply deeply to breathe
relax not thinking wasted
on wrath political pigs or taxes
hunger strife lies and deceptions
of those mostly unclear of themselves
i have to remember they just don't care
about me or my passion or even much of themselves
rather instead focusing on ego pretense and pride
not even sorry i refuse to anymore inside myself hide

i want to ride out into this desert on a sunny day
i want to roll in hot mud and lay on rocks
i want to dabble again in the paint
i want to take pictures of me and of you
i want to eat simply get right in my head too
i want to dare beginning right now here
from this day on a promise to brother and myself
to live with whatever my fancy is whether passion
truth lust not greed appreciation grace for now
another long year has passed and i am happy smiling
thinking of all the gifts this new year will bring
on wings and quick fluttering of angel's wings
shhh if you quiet yourself i do believe you too
can hear them if you listen carefully for yours
are nearby too and completely just now here for you

happy happy new year each and every one of you!
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 207
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we just know
Posted: 12/31/2006 3:07:13 PM
he surprised me
as he reminded me
i know he knows
and yes
he knows
i know too
i adore water
but oceans so vast
now again finding
myself hoping daring
i curse a bit and wait
so bad at patience
admittedly so
finding once again
it must be ever
relearned in new ways

i wait and wait
and wait some more
fire surely to grow steadily
stronger yet again
bright and hot
my cheeks flush
my heart races
as i remember
each trace

now to get on
with life spread
widely and too
not so widely
betwixt us
as many times before
i venture there
upon awakening
each and every day
as every night too
when i lay my
heavy head
upon my pillows
the last thoughts
turning and whirling
into tangible dreams
as i fall asleep
now dreaming
new dreams to never
stop being dreamt

and oh yes
i no longer fear
growing older dear
i have read it and heard it too~
may times came the profession
yours of that i dared not whisper
words like forever and sweeter too
wanting to grow old with me
understanding bits of my me
so very very implicitly
i hear the joy the pride
smiles in your very words
shocked when you say those things
others overhear
some of them i can tell
for they have let me know
in their own small ways
strangers i have yet to meet know
they too know of this depth we share
only me they know from you
and they are kind
my heart is warmed
thinking of what you say
what you insist will be

for while yes now apart but
neither never alone
i have my memories
and new dreams
not like yours
of that our country house
i only beg a fireplace
for us and the flokati
please softest tree of life
tapestries and soft rugs
ancient with color and love
ahh to anticipate again
simple life renewed
truly a phoenix rebirthed
new miraculous birth remain
many i hope to converge
from pluralities joined
into singular dreams
to again become one
so very much to think about
my mind may fairly burst
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 208
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dreams turn to reality
Posted: 1/1/2007 8:18:03 AM
thank you witty, for understanding and sharing your eloquence yet again here; very much appreciated dear; thank you

come now dears please each one of you
near or far just each of you from inside
comes this time now for our owned truths

please do preparest each of yourselves
for good and not so good nor not only for
that one largely looming challenge ahead
now here facing each of us this begins today
but as well all those smaller ones too
to undoubtedly and surely come our way

but as well now please do believe
for imprinting on our souls made it so
each of our victories is also at hand
tasting so much better than ever dreamt
for yes we surely have decidedly earned it
and too most fairly and squarely yes
that large one and oh so many much more

the sun has risen majestically this morning
firstly came peeking through pinks and blues
then turning stronger to brighter orange hues
lighting ablazes now my front living room
dancing upon the carved mirror on southern walls
as always from the east while others sleep

i awakened very late yesterday both times
11am and 11pm swaddled in softest blankets
surprised the day was gone but did not mourn
i needed the sleep all cozy comfy and warm
wandering in my dreams and happy to do so too
upon awakening again finding here are all of you

local desert friends came avisiting late 11pm
bearing cheer smiles one fat huge sandwich too
we laughingly carried on as we sometimes do
ringing in this brand new year with gladness
not even mentioning what we'd all been through
toasting the old year past as well as too the new

i hope you all dear to me spent a nice one too
as well i wish upon you know the strength
to dare to dream without fear and as well to know
the power lies inside you to find your own ways

whether with patience or gentle care to make them so
make your desires known and you may be surprised
at how easily the puzzle pieces fit from your heart
to falling more easily rightly perfectly into place
first to believe then working to allow and achieve
please believe me as i say it happens each n every day
miracles never cease and some promises do come true
i am humbled here this day the first of this new year
breathing evenly and happy knowing we each has this day
so please think pray dream toil or do whatever each we may
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 209
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new rythyms inside
Posted: 1/1/2007 9:08:03 AM
to begin twisting
through the muck
take the mud to shape
making from its clay
fashion and new designs
listening carefully to
many possibilities from
new rythym from inside

still daring to aspire
learning from those
i'm truly so inspired
flying above whilst
yes i am still in love
in spite or despite
or perhaps because
of these many years
from words uttered
or shaped by writing
reality by accepting
prayers are answered
even when not dared
having been whispered

love again resides inside
this heart although afar
two objects of affection
turning dreams to reality
herein lies this testimony
precious desires again afire
no need for any harnessing
but rather for the simplest
of any and all possible things

time later for harnessing
patience left to be tried
preparations to be made
not many appreciate nor
can understand these rants
but well for those that do
well i humbly do thank you
the answers all within the
very beginnings of this thread
still from years ago renewed

but no more looking backwards
as it usually means smacking
into something hard not worthy
i am small but i am all me
and this fine morning again
i find myself more than happy
reading and sighing and being

patience takes but biding time
pondering cold in another
far away across ocean land
warmth seeps into souls
i believe in words of some
and know with again whom
with i want to grow old
he says it will happen
he asks if i don't know
and yes i believe because
everything he's ever told
me has indeed come true
this one ain't a possum
won't say things not meant
lately we've both dreamt
of the other again so yes
what we want will be potent

we both want will make it so
i'm not here to just portend

now this will take its time
and i have that my friends
while i continue here
my heart and soul fly freely
and again i dare to breathe
knowing deeply my needs

seeds planted from before
to again be tended gently
from a different angle now
to growing outward adored
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 210
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new rythyms inside
Posted: 1/1/2007 1:04:28 PM

I've been trying to send you a message but it doesn't show up on my sent message list. So either there's some invisible block, there's a computer glitch, or you'll have received the same message three or four times by now! If you didn't receive it and would like to hear from me (in response to your very welcome words above) maybe you should write me. Jer

just only one warning
from me and i'll even
be polite and succinct
we sometimes cannot
help how we feel or think
regarding others at all
but indeed we can help
not having others
preyed upon in threads

clearly he and i both
know how we feel
toward the other so
now with this new year
i bid he please do try
his best to refrain doing so
herein this particular thread
to relay his messages
please in some other way
perhaps finding someone
takes to kindly understanding
that sort of thing which i
for one most certainly do not
and now bid you good day

we both understand
there's no other reason
than that which he
clearly knows so
i ask him for some
bit of respect now but
i surely shan't beg
but i will offer for doing
so as suggested a very
sincere thank you though
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 211
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new rythyms inside
Posted: 1/1/2007 5:11:26 PM
i close my eyes to see
but sometimes find
myself searching blindly
now isn't that ironic

it won't make much sense
if you don't really know
or understand how or why
i'm only just being me

even for some who know me
they may not want to even
try to understand or learn
why this is so very true

they have better things
with their time to do
so i can only shrug and
continue on my way

trying to remain open
wanting to learn
daring to yearn
desiring happiness
seeking enlightenment
meditating on forgiveness
staying on this course
of searching for truth
it's all i really know
many others nicely show
themselves and understand

no one is without wrongs
many on this same path
trying best not to stray
guided by hope's light
life's future lies ahead
Joined: 10/6/2005
Msg: 212
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new rhythms inside...I'm Out for this Ride
Posted: 1/1/2007 8:22:29 PM
Miles behind me
I’m back in my place
A quiet New Years
With little ones to chase

Wondering if I ever
Call this place home
Finding a rhythm
Or forever alone

Been here long enough
To set down roots
Why am I always
Putting on my boots

To chase back the miles
To where I’ve come from
Missing some things
Sometimes thinking it’s dumb

Why I can’t settle here
It just doesn’t seem right
This city so small
There’s nothing in sight

I keep wondering
If I should stay
Or pack up again
And move far away

But moving again
May not rearrange
The thoughts in my mind
Or even make things change

So I will go
Along for this ride
Enjoying my life
With nothing to hide

Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 213
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not much to hide
Posted: 1/1/2007 10:41:57 PM
glad to see you, thank you triple for your post and for having nothing to hide. happy new year!

yes, it's a new year, a new metaphoric chance to turn over a new leaf and revel in the beauty and grace around in so many many ways, this one's more playful than what's lately come from me...

i do have my goals you know
things yet waiting begging
to be considered let alone done

fancy something with lights
smoke 'n mirrors placed there
umm, no~ there just so
a modigliani painting i'd
like to make myself a
caricature of oh yeah
i shall you will see...

in childlike manner i smile
at my ceiling high with it's
metal tall spiked light
architectural east indian
small cut outs throughout
that psychedelic bulb inside
throwing colors everywhere
i like the patterns see?

its just like me to get lost
in color or texture hard to
define a part of my being me
liking patterns color and
different types of design

i prefer cotton or velvet
plush n soft comfort best
for wallowing swallowing
me up when and as i laze
in purples blues greens
and soft browns and grays

i have far too many things
books books did i say books
some old rare silly vhs
astonished at their worth
i only know they make me
laugh till tears fall happily
albums dvds cds stamps yes
antique stamp collections
from foreign lands far away

pottery art glass large and small
little porcelain animalian pretties
from again yes far away
i don't even know how many
sets of china i'm up to
art supplies and papers
all those many far too many
requisite feminine accoutrements
really mmhmm smelling things
hey i have two bathrooms

my bed is one of those cool
magic mattresses seen on tv
now i'm laughing but really
it's really really damn comfy
anyway for me n jake n sable
for two cats they take up
most of my bed and i let em
no metal frame nor even
any box spring it lays lowly
on my unencumbered floor
its simple like a pallet
rather asianicly inspired
till i find myself fixated
on a wooden carved frame
which is exactly what i seek

the lovers tantric tarot
unused as yet just lies
still in wait silently
upon my nightstand saved
for my savior my adored
he the one i await longingly
whose very feet i shall
hand wash and lovingly kiss
one who's to be anointed
with fragrant essential oils
again yes from faraway lands
the rest of this tale unwritten
also waiting like that story
of the sad velveteen rabbit
or the land of lost toys
i have my fixations after all
as well my needs not dead yet
but of my sex life it would seem

i am a martyr of perhaps the
very worst kind in the best way
i know what i want and what i don't
and i'm not one to be swayed

work work work yeah work makes
for a very dullard type of jane
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 214
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a place for us novices...
Posted: 1/2/2007 7:20:23 AM

A short poem about being abandonded.

Why am I lying on this bed?
Looking and feeling, like I'm dead,
People, hustling, bustling by
Don't see the tear, falling from my eye.
They tell me that, I'm not well,
Tranquilised brain, how can they tell.
In this invalid Motel,
Waiting for the dinner bell.
No more usefull, to my kin,
Only half of of what I've been,
Thrown into a garbage bin,
Dribbling through my silly grin.
Can't tell people when I'm cold,
Punishment, for growing old.
Times of laughter, times forgot.
Abandonded by those, I loved a lot.
Children see me once a year,
They don't want to see my fear.
Waiting every single day,
Hopeing that they'll pass my way,
Bring some sunshine to my life,
But they're too busy, to relieve my strife.
So now I lie here, all alone,
I think It's time to breathe a sigh,
Close my eyes, and say goodbye.

copyright (c) 1999. Robin A Spicer (AKA Huntingwulf)
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 215
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thank you all
Posted: 1/2/2007 11:51:16 PM
witty, thank you for such fire within your post on the prior page!

and ravin for your so you analogy and mind painting as always, ty sister; i am so very glad of your return, do you know how much you were missed?

hunting, welcome to this place, and thank you for your thought provoking lines, the sincere are never abandoned here ~ please return and don't say good bye next time?

stealing, yes; an undiscovered ending so hopeful and sweet; thank you for it sharing here, i am honored!

restless i bid you the warmth of sun on your face even on the greyest of days to bring forth roses again. thank you and please do return.

oh thorb, whatta day it's been! i need rest but wanted to thank you for lines left that made me smile and feel better right now upon having read you in them; thank you.

lucid sweetie, thank YOU for posting herein and you so very kind words, it is a pleasure reading such amazing writes herein this thread, woven of so many fine poets who aren't novices in any sense of the word. starting over is difficult yes; but also very much a blessing!

i'm tired and needing sleep but wanted all you dear to me to know today i avoided going to the hospital this morning after a very difficult weekend and against the advice of two of my doctors who know me well. by the grace of some local friends i am regaining my health today and have decided it is a choice for now. i am fine and ok and will be
even better with rest and forcing myself to eat while i have no appetite.

i want to thank the following people for their love and kindness today:
steve for all his help this morning and afternoon and his offer to call if and whenever i need to.

elena g and james t for being available and more helpful than they realize.

michelle for listening and help this morning during a difficult time.

steph for her gift of always being in my corner!
sam for his help at work today and every day.
john for his concern and well wishes.
jody for his patience and understanding with just a few of my words.
roberto for his empathy and dear understanding ways and words.
and marc, for sharing such beauty in his thread as well as the nice talk wherein i could forget everything and just be me.

i thank you all so very much more than words could convey.
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 216
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Posted: 1/3/2007 4:44:53 PM
ravin, i can only hope your beauty rubs off on us!

mandielove, a very touching and insightful poem, thank you for sharing, please do not be a
stranger here.

trying while i enjoyed very much your prose left herein i really adored your writing on your
profile~ especially
The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones
with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.
spot on and brilliant! thank you for your prose and please feel free to return whenever you like.
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 217
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feeling smiles
Posted: 1/3/2007 5:10:43 PM
he asked me this morning
if i wanted him to sing
of course i replied yes
and meant it sincerely

he being himself completely
then did just exactly that
bringing a smile to these
lips of mine and thusly
began my morning today

he whispered some things
and insisted a few others
he asked a few questions
serious and some jokingly
so nice to be ourselves
i could hear and feel
his smile that i could
not see except when i
tightly close my eyes
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 218
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blue indeed
Posted: 1/3/2007 10:54:57 PM
ty for stopping by & leaving your lines, nice to see you...

a sky of blue
lush carpet
spread before us
of brightly lit possibilities
dreams are but dreams
until made reality

oceans vast oh yes
why most assuredly
but never so as
to hold unnaturally
captive or dominated hearts
into non existence
thanks be to
the wonder of those
magnificent magical
flying machines
and beautific
floating things
called ships and boats
on which to toast

the earth herself
has swallowed no one
save ruin of nature's ways
but those are more natural
tendencies and intricacies of weather
paths all lead back to lovers arms and hearts
if they were once but burning true and real

and yes surely over any mountains huge
all cliffs and crags hills forests fields plains jungles
flowing downstream rivers streams too
deserts and tundras wetlands marshlands alpines
tropics or beaches bays gulfs inlets
tributaries too all majestic and
so much fun to roll pronunciation off one's tongue

look to the birds whom just inherently know
with their small yet wise dinosaur minds
and perfect plumaged coats of feathers
how to not lose their mates
always finding their way home
the nest it is a wondrous thing
perhaps cliche but a house isn't a home
if not for love it becomes but an empty shell
and we know those can be cold and feel so alone

i grab the reigns of no one
save of those who attempt
to reign me in or resort
to falsehoods or trickery
for they deserve not my devotion
not worth the commotion
simplest matter or truth
life unfurls itself when ready to
no matter the emotions evoked

i have learned as well
to not make haste in matters of love
those in habit of stepping upon others
will likely find themselves lonely and unconsolable
while those with integrity shine brightly to all
and yes, look~
behold a sky of blue
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 219
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a casual glance
Posted: 1/4/2007 6:49:48 AM
ahhh quixote, you knew that would touch me; even if i'm but a whiner, thank you.
lucid dear, hoping is never for naught nor is it negative; the very power of thought is very very powerful. you and i have much in common and in seeing the beauty in your lines i too remember for every action is a reaction. there is rhyme to your reasoning, even if it has not yet revealed itself to you. strength is in even the simplest motions of our day.

be well all, thank you dears for the many emails and support~ you all know who you are.

and no
not yet
is it
my time to
combust for i
have still much
many different
kinds of work
on this planet
to realize to
plan and to
follow through
starting again
inside is no

desert winds
here today
up to 50 mph
i smile
storm inside
now passed

what a bit
of food
will do for
the soul
and too
the mind
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 220
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eating and electrolytes
Posted: 1/4/2007 12:21:50 PM
i am getting better
the stars are fading
from peripheral vision
funny they return
when i begin to eat

fruit and more smells
yeah it smells good
oranges so sweet
juicey juicey juicey
fantasy land bides

wendy's taco salad
i notice with far less
meat hmmm what's
up with that even
if i didn't buy it?!
salad fresh and ha
a nana for later
cherry gatorade

that candle lit
at the edge of my desk
heavenly intense and
rather erotic pink
frangipani quality mmm
UK Dikken's & Hawthorne
beautiful purple delicate
box with velvet ribbon
i love this job this work
these people and my tasks
but too when i return home

my adoration changes
to all of you quicksilver fast
life is good the weather is fine
i'm doing better getting stronger
eating fine if with sighing
seeing who's real and who's
playing stupid tricks truth
comes out every single time.
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 221
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eating and electrolytes
Posted: 1/4/2007 12:23:42 PM
i am getting better
the stars are fading
from peripheral vision
funny they return
when i begin to eat

fruit and more smells
yeah it smells good
oranges so sweet
juicey juicey juicey
fantasy land bides

wendy's taco salad
i notice with far less
meat hmmm what's
up with that even
if i didn't buy it?!
salad fresh and ha
a nana for later
cherry gatorade

that candle lit
at the edge of my desk
heavenly intense and
rather erotic pink
frangipani quality mmm
UK Dikken's & Hawthorne
beautiful purple delicate
box with velvet ribbon
i love this job this work
these people and my tasks
but too when i return home

my adoration changes
to all of you quicksilver fast
life is good the weather is fine
i'm doing better getting stronger
eating fine if with sighing
seeing who's real and who's
playing stupid tricks truth
comes out every single time.
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 222
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Posted: 1/4/2007 5:35:37 PM
yes i admit knowing
that deeply engulfed
embedded throbbing
of a soul screaming
silently yet blocking out
anything everything
all else
yes i do
all too well myself

i believe it is but
our hearts crying out
to and for our very selves

demanding we
slow down
calm down
do our best to regain
some sense of self
if at all possible
by reaching within
accepting and acknowledging
we hurt and deeply

in the meantime
while it isn't much
it is from
my heart to yours
honest and real
in true friendship
all i can offer
hoping you soon feel
so very much better

it's ok to hurt
and it's ok to feel
others might be
made uncomfortable
by this but by being
yourself you'll find
who to you is real
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 223
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hunger lost now forced
Posted: 1/4/2007 6:32:18 PM
thank you tim
i know that
you know
and how weird
and messed up
it feels falling
into this abyss

i simply just
lost my appetite
but with help
tuesday last
i had not too
many options
save to force
myself to eat

still feeling
weak but so very
much better
i'm lucky and
blessed to have
people in my
life that care
enough to
understand or
try to when
they don't

drugs nor drink
not even sex
does it for me
for those things
seem to help
a different kind
of lonely and
that kind isn't
of or from me

perhaps i'm in
denial and really
have no clue
but i won't buy
or eat that either
stubborn i am yes
that much is true

complex this is
it makes no sense
why not hunger to eat
just cause i'm sad
weak is weak is weak
when it comes to me
so strong and confidant
in so many other ways
it feels so wrong

so yeah now again
i'm eating for
tomorrow to be a
better day
i can just imagine
all those reading this
thinking how messed up
or laughing even
glad i cannot see their
faces cause i really
don't want to hear see
nor feel their disdain
for being so much better
than me just being me

but there are as well
many people who are
sweet easy with me
and souls like that
to me are gold
angels in human forms
for which i'm
most grateful for
people like yourself
so thank you
for being you
accepting me
being me
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 224
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hummingbird flapping of wings
Posted: 1/4/2007 6:36:53 PM
trying this again
i find the irony
in awakening
to realizations
that you feel too

but maybe just maybe
tomorrow the hummingbird
will flap her wings
the owl will hoot again
and the dogs will not
just bark but jump
with glee all for you
never say never
stranger things have
happened you know
thank you for leaving
your lines herein
provoking they are
evoking they are
and that you are
therefore as well
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 225
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more favorite quotes
Posted: 1/4/2007 8:33:11 PM
tenz, thank you brave one, for sharing herein~ i am learning albeit falteringly sometimes and now throwing the broken tools out from my toolbox and keeping those that feel right and work best for me, thank you sincerely for being so dear and for understanding as i know you do.

growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed.

he that will believe only what he can fully comprehend must have a long head or a very short creed.

in the final analysis, the questions of why bad things happen to good people transmutes itself into some very different questions, no longer asking why something happened, but asking how we will respond, what we intend to do now that it happened.

love alone can unite living beings so as to complete and fulfill them... for it alone joins them by what is deepest in themselves. all we need is to imagine our ability to love developing until it embraces the totality of men and the earth.

love alone is capable of uniting living beings in such a way as to complete and fulfill them for it alone takes them and joins them by what is deepest in themselves.

love is the affinity which links and draws together the elements of the world... love, in fact, is the agent of universal synthesis.

our duty, as men and women, is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist. we are collaborators in creation.

someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.

the most satisfying thing in life is to have been able to give a large part of one's self to others.

the world is round so that friendship may encircle it.

we are not human beings having a spiritual experience. we are spiritual beings having a human experience.

we are one, after all, you and i. together we suffer, together exist, and forever will recreate each other.

all above quotes of teilhard de chardin, seemed apt and fitting here this blustery night
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