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Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 98
would you give this guy another chance?Page 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
My rules:

First, get to know each other online.

Second, talk on the phone. You can get a feel for someone and it's more personal if you converse on the phone. I always use my cell phone for this.

Third, if everything is still going ok, THEN I meet them in public.

Eve55555, howdy neighbor..
Joined: 4/16/2005
Msg: 99
would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/6/2005 11:21:33 AM
with all due respect to all involved parties, there was no family emergency. Have you read all of the replies to your message. All of the women say maybe give him a chance where all the men say do not give him another chance. That is because the men know his thinking process. Dont be naive, if there were a family emergency, it only takes 2 minutes to inform you of it. Save yourself more heratache.
Joined: 6/10/2005
Msg: 100
would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/6/2005 12:05:07 PM
first of all it is hard to give my side off the story without making smooth criminal sound bad...I have intentionally avoided this site just for that reason.So let me start by saying there was a family emergency,my aunt(yes my aunt)was sick,she is my grandmothers sister and since my gms death has been more to me and being in her 80s anytime she needs me im there...regardless of what i have planned..that said i will go into some of the story .smooth wanted to meet at a drive in which i didnt make for reasons stated. I apologized but I wasnt sorry for not making it... only what happened to her.. I repeatedly told her all i wanted was to be friends...I never commited to any other dates so i never stood her up again...She then tells me she loves me and is gonna kill herself and has taken pills...i told her i was hanging up and calling the police..ill give them her phone number they will trace it and get her. so she tells me she hasnt taken them yet but is gonna! Against my better judgement i did meet her...I thought maybe I could help in someway..She then shows up drugged out of her she drove i will never know,,her breathing was very shallow but she was lucid when spoken to...I did call her ex husband who she still lives with...I am not familier with medications and had no idea if that was natural for psych medications to do that...he tells me no its not normal...i tell him where we are and he comes and gets her...I guess she has had a very bad experiece in her personal life and is just losing controll of her life and for this reason I feel for her..Her ex takes her to the hospitol where is is still to this day..i hope those who read this wont bash she is just not strong enough to take it now...however when you do post...just wish her well...
 T,D and H
Joined: 4/6/2005
Msg: 101
would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/6/2005 7:19:09 PM
Well worthit4you....I won't go into what my first impressions were of the OP, it's a matter of record now anyway. I get the impression that you are a totally decent guy and I might not have handled the situation a whole lot better myself. You got yourself into a really ****ed up situation and it seems no good has come of it whatsoever - for that I am sorry for you both. The fact that you can show compassion for this person after what she did to you and then after the things she and others have said about you in this thread proves beyond any doubt that you are a man of character. Having compassion and integrity in here is a rare quality so don't take it hard when most people can't recognize it. Good for you man.
In the future though, sick aunt or not....weird date or not, if you make a plan and have to bail, you really should find a way to make a call at some point before the next day. I'd put good money on the fact that you didn't just blow her off completely but I would guess the motivation to go the extra mile wasnt' there either.
Good luck to you fella. And in the future, you aren't doing her any favours by responding to her - just walk away.
Joined: 6/10/2005
Msg: 102
would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/6/2005 7:41:38 PM
td&h yours was the one i wanted to see most...i am aware of her note to you then her blocking it...i told her she was being childish,,,and made herself a target...she replied she didnt want to see what you wrote back..i can only assume its because you are articulate and well versed on thoughts and how to word them.....i did not try to reach her that night...i had no number and all i knew was she was in a black van...and i knew her first name..i did not feel like taking the time to have a concessioner run to every black van in the drive in movie,nor did i want to ask...i was busy.....besides she was supposed to have her daughter with her,,,worst case scenario she has quality time with her...but ty for your support and i understand all who have horrer stories,,but there is another side to this one.wish everyone the best of luck on here...and i just hope people read and not bash her.its a habit to read the last post then i repeat any bashing go my way!!!!
 Tick Tock
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 103
would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/7/2005 10:35:09 AM
Hey worthit, I actually thought the OP's post was a little bit off and suspected it from the moment I read it. Given her particular situation, I think you have been very generous and compassionate in your handling of this situation. For her sake, I hope she seeks the necessary help to make it through this difficult time.
Joined: 7/28/2005
Msg: 104
would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/7/2005 11:13:47 AM
I wish you well smooth. And I wish less dramma for worthit4u. Sounds like a blameless situation, and as I wrote before, not a good time for smooth to be dating, AT ALL! I can kind of understand the desperate need for love, I think I have been there, a really long time ago, but I have learned that the only love that really matters and will be consistant and trustworthy no matter what is love for self. to all involved.
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 105
would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/7/2005 5:13:50 PM
if it is true about his aunt i think you should give him a second change with all do respect if a family memember you love is in trouble someone you never met will not be on your mind
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 106
would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/8/2005 7:52:44 AM
Searching...I don't think he WANTS a second chance.

Read up..;)
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 107
would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/29/2005 11:07:12 AM
I say tell all of us his nic that way if he has done this to anyone else we will know because he probally has and all the rest of us gals can avoid him lol. A lot of people are in love with the "chase" and chicken out when it comes to really meeting. Hey I did the same thing waited for 1&1/2 hrs at the go station but his excuse was I got drunk and fell asleep. Maybe we should start a list of no shows lol
Joined: 9/18/2005
Msg: 108
would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/29/2005 12:40:19 PM
I think I would be as upset as you. I was stood up but I only waited for 1/2 hour.
Have not heard from him since.

This guy says it was a family emergency and hospital is mentioned.
Because of that reason I would give him a second chance. HE could be telling the truth.
You may be able to find out by meeting him the second time.

IF he does the same thing again, only give him 1/2 hour of your time and split. Make sure you have gas money.

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, is mean all you do.

Give him the benefit of the doubt and don't feel stupid if he fools you twice. HE is the one with the problem. And you had faith in your fellow man that honesty would prevail. That is a good trait.

Good Luck.
Joined: 9/18/2005
Msg: 109
would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/29/2005 12:46:19 PM
hey worthit4u.

You sound like an okay guy.
There is always two sides to a story and I am glad you got yours out there.

I wish the best for everyone on this board.

good luck to all
Joined: 8/7/2004
Msg: 110
would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/29/2005 12:53:02 PM
Ya know for some reason I am always thinking that people are making shit up. But then again there is drama in this world, but I avoid it(him/her) as much as possible!
Joined: 9/28/2005
Msg: 111
view profile
would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/29/2005 1:46:51 PM
I think you should give him another chance becasue life does happen and things do come up, but does he not have a cell phone? He should have at least called you to let you know he had an emergancy, that is if the 2 of you exchanged numbers. I say give him another chance.
Joined: 2/26/2005
Msg: 112
would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/29/2005 5:52:11 PM
If it were a family emergency id give him the benefit of the doubt for sure. If your that fragile that you cant take another blow though then id probably let it go.
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 113
would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/29/2005 6:24:55 PM
I am with you t,d and h,

I was wondering IF I was the only person who ever went out with my credit cards/debit cards not to mention cash just in case. ( READ: take your wallet/purse!!!) That "I forgot my money/wallet" crap is just that!!! Isn't your driver's license supposed to be IN your wallet?
I used to always be surprised at so many " no money" stories I read of bad dates. Now it seems the norm.
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 114
would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/29/2005 6:51:02 PM
too slow for an edit:
OK I read every comment in here . WHEW ! what a story TRUTH is stranger than fiction!
probably wouldn't hurt other people responding to follow the WHOLE thread either or the last posts no longer make any sense with all the new twists and turns to this one.
Best of wishes to all of you involved.
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 115
would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 9/29/2005 8:42:25 PM
Smooth, get some therapy, it'll be worth every penny.

Signed---The jackal
 wet waters
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 116
would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 1/7/2006 8:20:32 AM
"""what a bunch of jackals..can't believe how you jump on people ..*shakes* her head """

Why give a guy a second chance? Most guys don`t deserve the 1st

Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 117
would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 1/7/2006 10:31:10 PM
Definitely, NO. But you will do it anyway, and you will be in for a harsher time.
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 118
would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 1/7/2006 10:32:59 PM
Newp...and buh-bye
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 119
would you give this guy another chance?
Posted: 7/5/2008 4:55:52 PM
Did you exchange cell phone numbers? If you did then you could have called him when he was 15 minutes late (at the drive in) to see what was up. Sometimes people do have emergencies. He responded the next day, said he was sorry and that he wanted to see you again. Give him another chance - but get his cell phone - if you don't then you'll be very frustrated at the slightest problem (and your mind will start to think about a lot of negitive things because you don't have any way to contact him except by email) when you guys set up your next meeting. Also, have a backup plan, that if for some reason he or someone doesn't show up (it is a real bummer), but if someone flakes, you can still go to a dance or movie or some function to take away the frustration of someone not showing up (do something where you can still have a good time if they don't show up that night-otherwise you'll be miserable for 24 hours or more again). If he doesn't want to give you his cell number then don't go out with him again - something is up.

Ok, I read the updated history of this situation. Never mind. But when meeting someone on a date, I always have a cell phone and backup plan, just in case - you never know.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > would you give this guy another chance?