|Drugs in profilePage 2 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)|
|What I'm so impressed with is the rocket scientists that have on their "do not want"list,,,drug users,,,,but still decide to send me an email,,,,cause they decided (for some reason) that maybe I am fibbing or lying on my profile. It's surprising that even the non dope smokers have a shortage of brain cells and can't comprehend a written word. Must have had a puff or two when they were younger. Yeah,,,,that's it.Course,,,,they didn't inhale.|
So,,,,you can whine and complain about the drug fibbing,,,,,and I'll whine and complain about the ones that can't read or understand. Or ,,,,how about "average" in body????? Or,,,,,how about,,,,age????? Or,,,,how about,,,,,hair,,,,,colour????? All part of the process here in the pond,,,,and you better learn quick,,,that some tell the truth,,,,and many won't/don't.
I still wish for the "are you tupid???" question on the profile,,,,,,just for the sake of discussion with some out there. That one I could have fun with.
Ohhhhhhh,,,,,yes I can!!!!!
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Posted: 1/18/2010 9:30:58 PM
|The arguments about caffeine, tylenol, etc... are totally bunk. You're not going to get arrested for having a pound of coffee or a couple bottles of tylenol on you. Try that with a pound of pot and let's see what happens. |
Fact is: if you smoke pot, you are using a drug. Just because you may think it's "not that bad" doesn't mean it isn't a drug. It isn't up to the individual to decide whether to call it a drug or not. If you do smoke pot, then just say that your drug use is limited to pot in your about me section. That way you can let the people who are searching your profile to decide whether or not they are ok with your drug usage. If you don't want to be seen as someone who does drugs, then here's a suggestion: DON'T DO THEM!
I know I don't want someone who smokes pot around my child, which is why I choose to limit those who can contact me through that option. Just get real about the do you use drugs option. Do you honestly believe they are talking about prescription meds and coffee. If you do, give your head a shake and get out of your cloud of pot smoke.
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Posted: 1/19/2010 6:21:30 PM
|Thing is, we don't live in 1919 do we. Just because things were used in the past does not make them ok now that we know more about them. The effects of coke were not readily known 90 years ago as they are known now. Going with your argument, are you saying it's ok for a man to beat his wife because 90 years ago they could? It's called evolution and education. |
I choose to educate my child about drugs and the harmful effects they can have on one's life. It would make me a total hypocrite if I then turned around and dated someone who does drugs. This was why I broke up with her father and he's not part of her life. He chose to start hanging out with drug dealers after she was born. I chose to not have that around my child. I will not condone the behaviour of someone in my life when it goes against how I choose to raise my daughter. Go ahead and smoke yourself into a haze, but I will not have anyone who does that around my child.
I don't drink (maybe a glass of wine once or twice a year), do not have a coffee addiction (maybe a couple cups a week), and don't smoke. The only drugs in our home are prescription meds, and when ill, very rarely is tylenol or any OTC drug used. I choose to raise my child to have respect for her body and not pollute it unnecessarily.
Again, it's not up to you to decide whether or not smoking pot is ok, it's up to the person that could potentially date you that gets to decide whether they are ok with it. Personally, I don't care what you choose to do to your own body, but if you choose to partake in recreational drugs, you won't be around my child, ever.
As far as my education goes: I spent 6 years at university and hold two degrees. I have taken several courses in psych. I understand the effects of drugs and mental disorders. This does not change my opinion on the use of recreational drugs and having them around my child, because first and foremost I am a parent and will always look out for what is best for my daughter.
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Posted: 1/19/2010 11:50:27 PM
|Did I ever say that I consider all prescription meds ok? I refuse to introduce anyone to my child for several months after I start dating them (in fact, I have only ever introduced one suitor to her ever, and we had been dating for months before I did that). So yes, before I would consider introducing someone to my child, I would expect to have enough familiarity with them that I would know what kinds of prescriptions they take and for what causes. That's just me, but I don't introduce just anyone to my child. |
"Go ahead and smoke yourself into a haze, but I will not have anyone who does that around my child."
What a shocking fallacy. This almost makes me speechless.
What is the fallacy here? I do not associate with people who smoke pot. None of my friends or family members do it. As I said before, I won't allow my child's father around her because he chose to smoke pot and hang around with drug dealers. I choose not to have my child exposed to addictive substances. I don't do them and don't allow people who do to have contact with my child. This does not mean that she does not know about them, but that they are not an acceptable lifestyle choice.
You are reading things into my statements that I never said. I never said I agree with large amounts of alcohol consumption. In fact, I stated that I very rarely drink because I don't think it necessary.
You don't have to agree with my views on how I choose to parent my child, but guess what? I'm not asking you to. I will parent her as I see fit and limit those who are involved in her life to keep in accordance with the values I instill in her. If that means I am limiting my potential dating pool, then so be it, but I will never condone pot usage and refuse to date someone who does it. I view this as morally reprehensible. Go ahead and have your own views about it. I really don't care whether someone else chooses to do drugs in their own life -- it just means they won't be involved in mine.
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Posted: 1/20/2010 7:52:25 AM
|You are assuming that because I don't want drugs around my child that I don't care about the other things you mentioned. |
#1 there is a huge difference between using a prescription med to treat a valid medical condition and using a drug for recreational purposes.
#2 I would hardly consider caffeine a mind-altering substance. Don't forget, caffeine is also in tea, soda, etc... I don't believe someone's grumpiness prior to their morning cuppa as being from caffeine withdrawal, but rather it is given as an excuse to get away with bad behaviour.
#3 I believe pot to be, in many many cases, a gateway drug for more serious substances. I was raised with this belief and have seen it in action. I let the pot use slide with my ex when that started up, but then he came home with some E, then other harder substances. Like it or not, there aren't many people who have never done drugs before that will just think, "I'm gonna try me some coke today!" No, they generally start with pot, then keep trying to chase the better fix. Plain and simple: I won't have it around my child.
#4 I do believe that someone HAS to be upfront with drug use. Not only for the reasons I've discussed, but also because it is against the law. In my profession I HAVE to have a clean criminal record check to be able to work. I CANNOT put my ability to support my child at risk by associating with people who are breaking the law. However you may feel about drug legislation, fact is, right now it is against the law. What right have you to not divulge that and potentially put others at risk for legal consequences?
#5 I would also expect that if someone has a criminal record they would divulge this to people from the get-go and allow others to decide whether or not they want to associate with them. This is the moral thing to do. When I meet someone I make sure they know I have a child right away so that if they don't want to date a single mom they won't get involved with me. This really is no different. When there are things in your life or in your past that are going to affect the life of someone you get involved with, you have a moral obligation to tell that person up-front and let them decide. It isn't up to you to decide if pot usage is ok, it's up to the people you're dating to decide if it's acceptable to them in their lives.
Ultimately, it comes down to honesty. I believe without honesty and trust within any relationship, the relationship will fail. If someone did not divulge their history and usage of these things up-front, I would consider them to be a liar, and thus, that would end my contact with them. Be honest with yourself about your drug usage and have the respect and courtesy for others to be honest with them as well.
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Posted: 1/20/2010 12:41:11 PM
|I stated in my profile that I am a recovering addict, because I think it is important to be honest!! My own personal opinion is I don't want any one that uses drugs. How ever I don't want someone to judge me by my past... I want to be looked at for who I am today...|
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Posted: 1/20/2010 11:47:07 PM
|You really need to grow up little boy and realize that others probably have far more to lose in their lives than you do. As a single parent I CANNOT even entertain the possibility of putting myself in a situation that could jeopardize my ability to support my child. In my field of work, without a squeaky clean criminal record, I CANNOT work. Are you seriously suggesting it wouldn't be that bad?! You may be willing to risk your future but I am not. I did not put myself through university for six years (as a single parent, mind you, when my daughter was still but an infant!) to work in a job I love and then throw that away for a lay with some stoner. If I were to get arrested for anything, I would not be able to work. It's just not worth it.|
Studies have proven me wrong? So you're suggesting that people go right from being drug free to snorting crack without doing any other drugs in between? How many brain cells have you killed that you seriously believe this?!
And hell YES I believe people have an OBLIGATION to tell others things (or as you put it, their "darkest secrets") before meeting IF those secrets will affect the life of the other person. How would you feel if you were dating a woman and all of a sudden, several weeks in, she tells you she has a kid (or two or three kids) she hadn't mentioned? It's called honesty. Try it sometime. I don't look at it as being secrets, rather as allowing others to make informed decisions about whether or not they want to become involved in our lives. Oh, and BTW, your examples don't really work here do they because whether someone was raped or beaten is not going to affect my life with them. These are things that happened IN THE PAST. What is important to me is what they are doing in their present. This is part of the person and the life they lead at this particular point in time.
You have this tendency to jump to things being all or nothing. Things aren't as black and white as you are choosing to see them. I never said I expect someone to tell me every last detail about their lives and history before meeting. What I DID say, was that I do expect them to tell me things that could affect my life if we got involved. That is: marital status, whether or not they have children, beliefs on drinking alcohol, smoking, criminal behaviour, and YES drug usage. If you're that insecure about these things in your life, that's your issue, not mine. I would suggest that if you feel you can't be upfront about these things, then you have a problem. I don't look at them as "secrets", but as key points of who we are as people. I know where I stand on these issues and if someone has a problem with me being upfront and asking questions about these things, then I'm not interested in getting to know them.
As I've said before, frankly I don't give a rat's ass if you (or anyone else, for that matter) chooses to smoke pot or do any other sort of drug, BUT if you do, I know that you are not compatible with me and my values and so I won't consider any sort of relationship with you. I see it as a matter of having respect for others' rights. I would never waste a man's time by seeing him without letting him know from the get-go that I have a child, simply because I KNOW that many men don't want to date women with children. I respect their rights to say they aren't interested for that reason. Are you seriously so arrogant to think that others' rights to make an informed choice to date you (knowing your view on these things) are not important?
Absolutely I would consider someone a liar if their profile says they don't do drugs yet they smoke pot. Pot is a drug. Seems pretty cut and dry to me. If you do it, yet say you don't, what does that make you?....a liar. I've known enough liars in my past, have no interest in knowing more.
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Posted: 1/21/2010 9:55:35 AM
|the whole concept of "gateway drug" is also propaganda. those who are are inclined to use alcohol, caffeine or pot are just more likely to be inclined towards trying something else. the same as someone who engages in one extreme sport, moves onto another... say a rock climber who decides to try to base jumping. both are risky behaviours, but not all rock climbers will become base jumpers. just like not all caffeine users will end up as crackheads. |
everyone is allowed their preferences(be they mild or extreme)... about using or being around someone who does use intoxicants of any type, for me it's tobacco. to start nitpicking about what drugs the drugs question is referring to, is kinda silly. someone saying i don't think pot is any worse than alcohol(and just for the record, i think alcohol is worse), so i don't consider it a drug, is only playing with words. give me a break, that's logic worthy of a third rate politician. we're all supposedly semi-mature adults, we all know what pof means by that question... give it an honest answer.
barefoot, to expect someone to give their life history before meeting, is a bit much though. yes there is something in everybody's past that a prospective partner needs to know, but there's a time and place for everything.
whether someone was raped or beaten is not going to affect my life with them
as their partner whether or not someone was raped or beaten sure as hell will affect your life with together. something like that causes such a profound change in a person that, unless you're just going to walk away from them, you will have to deal with it. but that is also information that they probably aren't going to serve up before getting to know you. so after dating for 3-4 weeks someone opens up to you about being abused, do you dump them for not telling you sooner? or do you try to support them?
as was mentioned before, why is it that people with the no drugs restriction contact people who do use them? is it a coverup? is it a control issue? we still haven't heard a reply to that part of the equation.
and just why is the question about using drugs listed between the questions about having and wanting children?
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Posted: 1/21/2010 3:15:28 PM
|i do understand gateway, a concept used by anti-drug administrations to scare people. but since the majority of marijuana users have previously used caffeine, alcohol and/or tobacco, that would make pot the second step down the path to moral ruin and therefore on the other side of the gate. but why is that nobody ever refers to tobacco/alcohol use as the gateway?|
i said in my previous post, just because the tendency for a behaviour is there, does not mean it's going to be acted upon.
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Posted: 1/21/2010 5:35:23 PM
|I NEVER said that I expected someone to give me their entire life history before meeting them. What I did say is that I expect people to be honest and tell about things that are important such as: marital status, whether or not they have children, whether they smoke or not, whether they do drugs or not, etc.... Please point out to where I EVER stated that I expect an entire life history. That was another user misreading what I said.|
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Posted: 1/21/2010 5:41:30 PM
|STOP with the "gateway" BS. If you really want to get into the "true" definition of gateway for abusers(of anything) go wayyyyyyyyy back into the early years of upbringing. There,,,,you will truely find your "gateway",,,,and why some do things,,,and some don't. You'll also be surprised that even there,,,you will find why some follow BS and some don't.|
Truely amazed of so many people that don't touch the stuff,,,have never experinced any form of drug use at all,,,,but quite the experts and throwing generic statements around as if it was "truth". The "gateway" arguement has been around since "reefer madness" was introduced to us,,,to scare us away from the evil weed. Obviously it's work on some. Please thou,,,,don't try it with those know better.
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Posted: 1/21/2010 6:02:32 PM
|I haven't done drugs, but have SEEN it happen to others that pot has led to more serious drug usage. I'm not saying that every person who does weed will end up addicted to meth or coke, but that generally, those who are addicted to meth and coke, USUALLY did weed first. Just because someone may not have done it themselves, doesn't necessarily mean that they haven't experienced it first hand with people in their lives.|
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Posted: 1/21/2010 6:14:49 PM
|It ain't the weed that gets me to do the meth,crack,herion or whatever. It's their past. That IS the "gateway". Did ya ask your "experinces" if they drank before they "puffed"????? And before they drank alcohol,,,,what was it that led them to take their first sip??????? Look back far enough you will find your answer and reasons for "abusers".|
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Posted: 1/22/2010 10:38:02 AM
Now THAT'S Funny. You know, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean everyone is not out to get you
The danger is this: Over 50 percent of these young addicts started on marihuana smoking. They started there and graduated to heroin; they took the needle when the thrill of marihuana was gone (Boggs Act Hearings, 1951: 206).
Our younger people usually start on the road which leads to drug addiction by smoking marihuana. They then graduate into narcotic drugs-cocaine, morphine, and heroin. When these younger persons become addicted to the drugs, heroin, for example, which costs from $8 to $15 per day, they very often must embark on careers of crime ... and prostitution ... in order to buy the supply which they need (Congressional Record, 1951: 8197-8198).
in the 50's it was called the "stepping stone" theory and was brought up at the boggs act hearings, the first time marijuana was included with narcotics. but i guess it's only my paranoia...
ot- we meet someone in public... while standing in a line, waiting for a bus, etc... and start chatting. how offended would we be if they started asking something as personal as this in the first 5 minutes? yet we expect complete strangers to supply us with this information, and will reject them out of hand for a simple wrong word.
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Posted: 1/22/2010 12:41:02 PM
|and the so name calling begins...|
considering that pretty much every time someone does say something bad about marijuana, it is part of an anti-drug campaign, what else do you expect "potheads" to think? both sides can be totally unreasonable in their views, but things are never that black and white... contrary to what the pro's say, like any drug, there is a danger of abuse. and contrary to the anti's, what about the proven benefits of medicinal marijuana? do you reject someone who has a prescription for marijuana to deal with glaucoma?
as i said earlier we are all entitled to our preferences- i can't deal with smokers- but we sometimes seem to be too quick to condemn others for what could be relatively minor things. i might have 3-4 tokes a year, probably less, but because of that one word-socially- on my profile, i can't contact a majority of women. unreasonable? not at all, they're entitled. but ask any drug user on this site, and they will tell you that someone with that restriction has contacted them. so why is that the same people who prevent drug users from contacting them, turn around and contact drug users?
yes it is a dating site, and yes we want information about prospective matches. but you missed the point i was trying to make about randomly meeting someone... isn't that random person also a prospective match? are we not filling out the form, so to speak, while talking with them? and for those of us that it matters to, just when do you bring up the subject of drug use?
the only time i've ever heard the gateway term used in a dr.'s office or pharmacy, has been in magazines. usually de-bunking it.
on the other hand rbg... looking at their control of the alcohol and tobacco markets, i guess we can agree on the governments being purveyors of drugs. rather hypocritical purveyors imho.
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Posted: 1/22/2010 4:54:28 PM
|I find it amusing that you are using a study that talks about alcohol use and pot use to say that pot is not a gateway drug to heavier substances (ie. cocaine, heroin, meth, etc...). Nowhere in what you quoted did it talk about that. No one is saying that it doesn't necessarily start with alcohol, but that marijuana usage almost always comes before the usage of heavier drugs. |
Furthermore, a study of only 200 some-odd people is not generally considered large enough to be an accurate scientific study. To get truly accurate results, one must have a large sample group (in to the 1000s often).
Oh, and it does say in my profile that I don't want people who do drugs: right where it says that if you do them, you can't contact me! This is what the issue is -- that some people (including, it would seem, you) think that marijuana usage doesn't count as drug use and think it's ok to lie in the section asking about usage and say you don't just so that you can contact whomever you want despite their wishes that they say they don't want someone who does drugs. If someone's profile says they don't want you to contact them if you use drugs, then DON'T CONTACT THEM!
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Posted: 1/22/2010 5:27:32 PM
If someone's profile says they don't want you to contact them if you use drugs, then DON'T CONTACT THEM!
Ah,,,sorry to warn ya,,,but here in the pond it doesn't matter what ya say you want,,,especially to pot smokers,,,cause ya know,,,they are not so bright.For example,,,,I've numerously warned the tupids not to contact me,,,,they still do. I've constantly have had on my profile "drug user",,,yet the tupids that don't want one,,,,still contact.
I'm still trying to figure out how in God's name the tupids became that tupid,,,,if they don't even partake in the puffing. At least if they did,,,,they would have an excuse. It's one of the added bonus' of filling out your "do not wants" on our profiles. You'll learn quite quickly,,,that a lot do not read and comprehend very well.
If I was a real priack,,,I'd take my "drug user" answer off,,,meet a ton of the tupids and embarass the phuck outta them,,,,but I'm not that kinda guy. Actually,,,hold on,,,I have been known to be that kinda guy. Cripes,,,,I forgot what the hell my point was gonna be,,,,,again. Damn green stuff.
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Posted: 1/22/2010 7:52:25 PM
You are wrong, stop digging yourself deeper---stop assuming stuff because you had the bad judgment to date a junkie
If you had half an ounce of comprehension about anything I have said in previous posts, you would have understood when I said he started doing it AFTER our child was born. He was not a junkie when I met him, was not when we were dating, was not when we had a child or throughout the pregnancy, then AFTER the child was born, started smoking pot and progressed from there. This was also WHY the relationship ended.
Sorry, I don't believe I am wrong on this. You and I simply have a difference of opinion. Just because you seem to be too narrow minded to actually LISTEN to what anyone else has to say doesn't mean that they are wrong. You have taken everything anyone says on here COMPLETELY out of context and jump to conclusions. Not my fault if you want to act like an ignorant prick.
It is your OPINION that marijuana is less dangerous than caffeine. Personally I think this is the biggest crock of shit I've heard in a while. Do you honestly believe that someone who has never done coke before is going to up and do it because they had a cup of coffee that morning?! By what twisted logic do you believe that having a cup of coffee or a glass of pop is worse than lighting up a doobie? When was the last time you heard of someone holding up a 7-11 for a cup of coffee? How about so they can get money to buy their drugs? Like it or not, caffeine users are not breaking the law, whereas those who do drugs are.
Not "generally" considered large enough? Citation, please? This isn't a Phase III medical trial, this is a test of the construct of "gateway drugs"
Get yourself some more education little boy. If you've ever taken any sort of course in sciences then you'd already KNOW that this is true. If I ask 4 people their experiences, then could you say I have an accurate inference for all people? The larger the sample size for ANY sort of trial or study, the more accurate the results are said to be.
And we go in circles again---marijuana is a drug with a use profile less dangerous than caffeine
So then you ADMIT that marijuana is a drug! Therefore, anyone who does it and does not check YES for using drugs is a LIAR! It's not a matter of how dangerous you may think it is or is not, IT IS STILL A DRUG! Where is YOUR citation, BTW, to prove that caffeine is more dangerous that pot?
I never said I believed you to be doing coke or heroin, but I do believe you to have a very immature view of the world and jump to conclusions. You also seem to have very little respect for others if you honestly believe that they don't have a right to limit who can contact them based on not wanting to get involved with people who do drugs. It is not your decision to make. It is up to each individual if they want to get involved with someone who does it. What the hell do you think gives you the right to disregard what others want in their own lives?!
So you don't want to date someone who "uses" caffeine! (Good luck with THAT, btw). So you should have the right to screen based on that,. yet to hell with what everyone else wants to screen for? Can you say "hypocrite"?
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Posted: 1/23/2010 12:31:10 AM
|Who the **** do you think you are to criticize my parenting?! I am a damn good mother tyvm. I have stated in previous posts that we do not use those "other drugs", as you put it, in my home. I do not use OTC medicines generally (No, not even tylenol), I VERY rarely have caffeine in any respect (1-2 cups of coffee/tea a week, MAYBE, and that's stretching it), and have (maybe) one or two glasses of wine a year (in fact, the last time I drank was a glass of champagne for new year's eve 2008. I have NEVER said I have a "casual" attitude towards ANY drugs whatsoever. I said that I don't think caffeine to be as bad as pot, but that doesn't mean I think overuse of it is ok either. I am very conscious of what I put into my and my child's body. I am not "feeding into the paranoia". I DO NOT WANT ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES AROUND MY CHILD! So DO NOT assume anything about me being one of "those parents" as you want to call me. You know****shit about my life and your assumptions only prove you to be the presumptuous ***hole that you are. I never take cough syrup or no-doz (in fact, until you mentioned it here, I've never even heard of it), because I do not believe in going through life with my mind fogged up by drugs of any type. |
As far as the studies: I don't need them -- I have PERSONAL experience having seen what it has led to in people (not just the ex, btw) that I know. I have NEVER said that I think that pot leads to alcohol abuse, or whatever the hell you may think I was talking about, BUT that pot is USUALLY the first step towards harder drugs (coke, heroin, etc...). I was asking you to show me your studies to refute THIS claim. I have SEEN it happen.
I'm not against pot because a politician told me I should be. I am an educated woman (in school and in life) and have formed MY OWN opinions on it (which, btw, I have A LOT of post-sec education, I don't need some little pissant online to tell me what a conditional statement is). I have seen it be used as a gateway drug to more serious drugs (E, meth, cocaine) in people I know; I do not believe in altering one's mental state with substances; I am raising my child to live a healthy lifestyle and smoking ANYTHING is not part of that. BTW, did I mention the very smell of pot actually gives me a physical reaction of wanting to vomit? I find the scent repulsive beyond words. Yes, the fact that it is illegal is also a factor for me because of my job. I don't need any study to tell me it's not that bad, because,to me, it is. To me, it is the first step towards a larger problem. To me, it is part of unhealthy lifestyle choices. To me, it shows an obvious lack of judgment and respect for ones' body if you choose to use it. Frankly, I don't care what your views are on it because I know what is right for my own life and for my child's life.
You may think that pot is no big deal, but to me, based on my EXPERIENCE, it is a HUGE deal. I don't want it around my child, and CANNOT put myself in a situation around any sort of drug because of my career. Any sort of arrest would make it impossible for me to work in my field. On the profiles we are given the option to limit who we want to contact us. I have CHOSEN to not have people who do drugs contact me. Pot IS a drug. If you smoke it, yet say you don't do drugs, that is lying. Why the hell, if you see someone doesn't want someone who does drugs to contact them, would you still contact them knowing how they feel? I have EVERY right to not meet someone based on this information. It would be a waste of their time and my own. Plain and simple: if someone is uncomfortable with answering whether or not they use drugs (including pot), then I won't meet them. I'm not even going to entertain any sort of relationship with them because of the reasons I've stated above.
Are you serious when you took my comment about people holding up 7-11s for drug money that I meant those who are "only" smoking pot?! And "a junkie always is and has been a junkie"?! WTF, so you're going to consider someone to be a junkie who has never done drugs before just because they might do it in the future? Are we all supposed to be fortune tellers now so that we can tell what someone "could" possibly do in the future?
I will no longer be participating to this thread. I find your rush to judgment and taking things out of context to be tiresome. We'll have to agree to disagree on this. You are perfectly free to go ahead and waste your time on people you know you won't be compatible with because of KEY differences in morals, but I choose not to. Life is far too short to throw it away on someone I would never consider a relationship with.
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Posted: 1/23/2010 4:44:58 PM
|Ok I have walked away and calmed down and will apologize for my rant earlier. I was frustrated that I felt everything I said was being taken out of context and turned around to make me seem irrational. It was like you only listened to part of what I said, then jumped to a conclusion about it. You should understand, though, that if you go around insulting people as parents, then you're going to have to expect to hear their anger because of it. |
When I said "usually" it was because I recognize that any argument that starts with "always" is, by definition, fallacious. There ARE exceptions to every rule; I was only acknowledging that. When someone says marijuana is a "gateway" drug, they are not saying that everyone that smokes pot will move on to harder drugs, but that of those who use harder drugs, most of them started using drugs with pot. I am sure there are many people who do pot that lead production lives. This does not, however, mean that I want them around me or my child. Just as you choose not to have those who abuse caffeine around you.
We all have the right to live our lives as we choose. We do not have the right, however, to impose our choices on others or expect everyone to agree with those choices. I believe I have every right to not meet people who do drugs because I don't agree with them. It is for this reason that I completely understand why a man may choose not to contact me because I am a single parent. It was my choice to have a child, but I don't have the right to trick someone into getting to know me under the guise that I don't have a child. It is all about having respect for others to make INFORMED decisions about who they want to go out with. Everyone has deal breakers, whether it be alcohol use, smoking, having children, weight, height, or yes, drug use (including pot). It is for this reason that POF has these things on our profiles: so that people can eliminate prospective suitors based on their deal breakers. I expect that people tell the truth in those sections and believe that if you use pot then you are using drugs and lying on your profile.
I am not in the habit of just introducing anyone into my or my child's life. I will screen people I know I won't be compatible with long term because I don't want people coming in and out of my child's life. I have worked very hard to provide a stable home for her. It is this, among many other things, that makes me a wonderful parent.
Ultimately, this thread was not about the "evils" of marijuana, it was about users' rights to screen for it and people lying in their profiles about it. I screen drug users because I don't want them in my life. If you lie about pot usage so that you can meet me, how could you honestly think that the lie would be a good foundation for a relationship? I just don't believe in wasting time getting to know people who possess my deal breakers. Isn't that why we're all here in the first place? To be able to weed out those with our deal breakers, so as to find ones who don't possess them? It's about compatibility. Maybe at your age and status you feel that you have all the time in the world to waste on people when you know it can never lead anywhere, but I do not share that view. I want to be able to pick out the "weeds" so that I can find the "flowers", and frankly, I don't see anything wrong with it.
|Drugs in profile|
Posted: 1/25/2010 7:57:03 AM
|You do have the right to live your life as you choose. This does NOT mean, however, that there won't necessarily be consequences for your choices. Saying that one has the right to make choices and saying there are no consequences for those choices are two different things. I stated the former, not the latter. I stand by what I said.|
|Drugs in profile|
Posted: 1/25/2010 11:27:37 AM
Good thing one of my good friends got to a hospital before he had a heart attack from caffeine
I am glad your friend got to the hospital too but come on. You are trying to say that Caffeine is worse than POT. Be Serious.
I have know 3 people that have died from things they did while they were high and many more that were either injured. My first friend died while he was extrememly high and put a huge handfull of candies into his mouth and choked on them and the other 3 people there were also sooo high that they laughed and watched him die. The second person decided to drive while high, fell asleep and drove into an wall at high speed. The 3rd died because he was soooo high that he ate peanuts, that he had an extrememly alergic reaction to, even though he knew that that would happen (at least he knew when he was sober). I do not know anyone who has had anything from Caffeine (although I do know that those high caffeine energy drinks are stupid). 90% of the population drinks caffeine and you get almost nothing happen. If the sample size is that large you are going to get a few instances of anyting. You would get it from Carrots too if you really wanted to do a study on the bad effects of carrots. Caffeine in large doses in bad. In a coffee to give you a little extra alertness is not a problem.
I do agree that people who abuse legal so called drugs (like drinking cough syrup for fun or using sleeping pills when not prescribed) are worse than pot but you have to have respect for someone who does not want to date a person who does pot.
I really don't care if someone smokes the odd joint at a party but if they are smoking at a regular level (weekly) they should say it in there profile as a statement at least.
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