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Show ALL Forums  > humor  > Things I've learned while I was drunk....      Home login  
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 astrosky
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 26
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....Page 2 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
That if you drink a bunch of sloe gin at one party, then go to another party and start puking, they'll think you're puking up blood and freak out....
 carribeanking7
Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 29
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 10/4/2005 12:34:36 AM
Upside : after many a tankard of ale..I truly feel like royalty

Downside : when my defenses are down ladies take advantage of me.........
why dont they do it when im sober and better able to experience it
 carribeanking7
Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 31
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 10/5/2005 7:40:57 PM
@ Bud girl....
Drink more...learn more....I like that one..

here's one on me.......................
 carribeanking7
Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 32
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 10/5/2005 9:36:19 PM
That...one last drink for the road never seems to end
 Jeopardy_Junkie
Joined: 11/23/2004
Msg: 36
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 10/25/2005 1:30:13 PM
Dogs don't like to be meowed at!!

JJ

 Jeopardy_Junkie
Joined: 11/23/2004
Msg: 37
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 10/25/2005 3:32:16 PM
Ooooppppssss...didn't mean to jump in the middle of your little "dissagreement"!!!

JJ

 klrcrsovr
Joined: 12/30/2004
Msg: 38
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 10/25/2005 4:39:47 PM
It is WRONG to put an off duty cop in a choke hold to get him off of your friend.......
 DestinySoulmate
Joined: 2/22/2005
Msg: 39
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 10/25/2005 10:12:48 PM
Hmmm ...Things I've Learned while trashed..

1. My neighbor's driveway looks EXACTLY like mine !
2. As long as I'm dancing I'm fine..but when the music stops I Can't walk by myself !
3. If a guy gives me his number I sincerely swear to him I will call, but the next day.."NOT"
4. When I look in my purse the next day..I have acquired a nice assortment of lighters !
5. I have been known to get a little flirtatious and want to "kiss" somebody & not recall it the
next morning when told about it from friends.
6. As much as I would like to keep up & drink with the best of em...I am NOT a drinker !
7. I should NEVER attempt to go out by myself .....or worse try to drive anywhere !


It's a very good thing that I don't go out much(I'm dangerous)But I have soooo much fun..
(so they tell me)
 wonwascallywabbit
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 40
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 10/26/2005 12:40:48 PM
Best thing I ever heard of someone learning was an old aquaintance of mine. He learned when driving drunk in the fog at 2am:
1. do not just follow tail lights
2. if the person in front of you stops for an extended period of time do not beep or yell obscenities.
3. If a very large man is walking toward you with murder in his eyes you may want to back out of his driveway that you followed him into.
 Jinley
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 41
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 10/29/2005 11:12:53 AM
Don't let your friends push you in a chair with wheels on the sidewalk, as soon as you hit a crack you will hit the pavement...

Never get on the back of a moped to make a beer run while the guy steering is drunker than you....

Don't climb over the guard rail on the freeway to pee, it's there for a reason....Brought a whole new meaning to "Stop, Drop, and Roll"....
 finisheslast
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 42
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 10/29/2005 2:40:41 PM
don't ever tell a cop you'll whup his azz if you were'nt drinking
 grplaman
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 43
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 10/30/2005 6:59:19 PM
I have learned that Cops do not like to be puked on, when they come to bust a party!
 grplaman
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 44
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 10/31/2005 3:40:47 PM
I was once passed out on warren ave and teleghraph rd one morning and i was awoken by a cop who kept pressing his night-stick in my crotch area. To this day-i wonder if he was checkinbg to see if i was dead or not, so he could have sex with my corpse. One never knows.......................but, he sure seemed to enjoy it.
 simplekindoflife
Joined: 10/31/2005
Msg: 45
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 10/31/2005 8:10:44 PM
(don't try and tear your underwear off while still wearing your pants....it chaffs)
Just because you are feeling no pain - doesn't mean that you won't the next day...

It's not the best time to decide to try and shave your hoo ha...

The guy that you think is really hot at the end of the bar - probably still lives with his mom...

At any given moment the incredible urge to pee is going to hit you and despite your best efforts to try and wait it out in line - you're probably going to have to squat it at least once in the night outside.
 MasterBart
Joined: 6/20/2004
Msg: 46
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/22/2005 1:23:27 AM
Avoid the upstairs bathroom. It's cursed. Once one person wakes up in it in the morning naked, others will too.

Spinning rooms are not a by-product of dehydration, which can be cured with mixed drinks.

Cigarettes are hangover amplifiers. Another half a pack will not help you feel better in the morning.

When your mixer has a higher proof than the vodka.... stop.

Showing appreciation to your designated driver is nice, but... if you must give them a hug, do so when you're out of the car, not on the freeway.

If your drunk friend's drunk girlfriend is afraid of snakes and y'all are drinking outside, don't sneak up behind her and poke her ankles while making a loud hissing noise.

Your friends will forgive your tendency to get naked when drunk; your neighbors won't.

If it takes you more than two minutes to realize that the reason you're not going anywhere is because the parking brake is still on, it's only going to get harder when you're actually moving. Highly recommended that you not try doing things like turning the engine on, and putting it in gear.

When barfing off a balcony, make sure there's no-one below.

If you have trouble finding the floor even when you're sprawled out on it, it won't be more accessible by attempting to stand. By this point, you're f**ked, just deal with it.

Your best friend will only forgive you ONCE for grabbing his girlfriends tits.

After you turn the legal drinking age, there's no reason to drink Mad Dog 20/20, Boone's, Thunderbird, Steel Reserve 211, or Red Dog.

If you can no longer speak your native language, just shut yer pie hole.

Bodily fluids and animals don't mix.

Setting drinks on fire is fun. Just extinguish before consuming.

Do not attempt to go home, gather funiture and personal belongings, and move in with your friend when drunk. Especially spur of the moment.
 Tick Tock
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 47
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/22/2005 2:20:26 AM
When approaching a checkstop, never pretend that police officers are obstacles in a slalom course...they don't have a sense of humour.
 Jeopardy_Junkie
Joined: 11/23/2004
Msg: 48
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/22/2005 5:32:54 AM
These stories are hilarious!!! Thanks everyone...keep them coming!!

JJ

 Jeopardy_Junkie
Joined: 11/23/2004
Msg: 49
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/22/2005 6:09:20 PM
^^^^Are TRYING to get yourself in more trouble????

JJ

 Tick Tock
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 50
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/23/2005 1:08:46 AM
When you drink so much you think you're dancing really well, that's probably an indication that you are having something akin to an epileptic seizure on the dance floor
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