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 onesimpleneed
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 434
Things I've learned while I was drunk....Page 24 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
I found this one out last weekend...while no less...

After be careful....that fuse on that stick of dynamite ain't as long as you actually think it is!

Cheers!
 Elfenlass
Joined: 1/8/2007
Msg: 435
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/13/2007 10:47:26 AM
- Don't drink Tequila with a Latino person. Even if she's 5ft nothing, she'll drink you under the table *and* be the person to come work your shift the next morning while you're at home praying for death.
- Don't go drinking the bar you work at/with people who recognize you from the bar you work at. For some reason people assume bartender=drinks like a fish, and will start buying you the most complicated shooters known to man.
- When your friend is on the dancefloor doing 'The Worm'.... it's time to take her home.
- When you wake from a night of drinking to find yourself in bed naked, you don't remember anything after 10pm, and your roomate tells you that she force-marched you away from the 'freaky guy' to take you home and put you to bed - do her laundry for a week in gratitude. (Considering that my friends had tattoos, piercings,and 'colourful hair'; I *still* shudder to think of what her version of 'freaky guy' was.)
- Alcohol+Cotton Candy+Amusement park rides = Noooooooo.
 London Lass 59
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 436
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/13/2007 9:43:18 PM
Things I have learnt when I am drunk......Do not start an IV, do not draw blood, do not do CPR, do not operate any electrical machinery ie defibrillator, do not pass go, coz if you do you will fall down!!! lol
 kingofaman
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 437
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/14/2007 2:36:18 PM
Dont surf profiles of people on P O F when your drunk.....you may find somthing best left alone.....I might of met a real ugly girl or it might of been a really pretty monster...

 jtskhos
Joined: 5/6/2007
Msg: 438
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/14/2007 10:13:13 PM
Always get drunk with true friends...they will keep the beer glasses off and prevent you from doing the walk of shame
 kingofaman
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 439
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/15/2007 6:48:09 AM
You are undoubtedly speaking of the beer goggle phenomena. To understand how the Rosie O’Donnel at the next table turned into Rosie Perez, you need to grasp what alcohol does to the brain. After that first drink, strange things start to happen in the noggin, namely:

1.) Dopamine concentration is increased, stimulating the pleasure centers.
2.) Serotonin neurotransmission is decreased. Serotonin is a behavioral inhibitor, it’s the brain’s chemical cop, making you bite your tongue and nod when you actually want to strangle your boss.
3.) Endorphin and enkephalins are released, creating a euphoric effect.
4.) GABA receptors are potentiated, creating an arousal state.

So, after about your fifth drink you will be be feeling euphoric, aroused and uninhibited. You feel confident, your self-esteem is riding high and you not only desire human companionship, you believe you deserve it. Ask any psychologist and he/she will tell you those with high self-esteem tend to think positively of others as well. And that, in addition to your reduced inhibitions (i.e. standards), is why you go home with Perez and wake up with O’Donnel.

Oddly, the beer goggle theorem doesn’t apply equally to both sexes. In a recent study, 46% of men said alcohol makes women appear sexier, but only 13% of women said the same of men.

Huh. Maybe they’re just not drinking enough.
 aussiegreeneyes
Joined: 6/2/2007
Msg: 440
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/15/2007 8:45:35 PM
I learned that a stair banister is for balanace and should not be used as a slide
 disaronno amaretto
Joined: 12/3/2006
Msg: 441
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/16/2007 6:59:12 AM
When on Padre Island, its not cute to throw your brothers $300 fishing pole into the sea because "the darn fish was just too big and ugly and it was gonna eat me!"
 bl222b
Joined: 4/23/2007
Msg: 442
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/16/2007 8:24:06 AM
This brought back a funny memory!!!! Had a friend with false teeth!!!! Checking on her while hugging the toilet>>>she looked up at mea and had no front teeth!!!!! Scared the shit out of me, didn't know they were fake!!! LOL Ended up with a soup laddle, fishing her teeth out of the toilet!!!!! Thank God she hadn't flushed it, would have been an expensive drunk! Moral of this tale, if your going to hug the tiolet....take the false teeth out first! LMAO
 bl222b
Joined: 4/23/2007
Msg: 443
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/16/2007 8:27:06 AM
hey Matt, asking a drunk women for their number, you usually get one, but not one that is necessarily a working one!!!!! Have transposed a few in my day!!
 kingofaman
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 444
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/16/2007 12:32:03 PM
You should not attempt "Slam Dunks" with a basket ball while on a pogo stick when intoxicated

 disaronno amaretto
Joined: 12/3/2006
Msg: 445
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/16/2007 5:24:44 PM
You should not attempt "Slam Dunks" with a basket ball while on a pogo stick when intoxicated

Well, duh, man every one knows that!!
The visual I got was absolutely priceless, Rock on, buddy.
 Otoño
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 446
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/16/2007 6:47:08 PM
I have learned that never to wear a toga when you have been doing shots. I learned this one halloween.
 JUSTINBOY88
Joined: 5/27/2005
Msg: 447
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/16/2007 8:07:32 PM
Never take a lady you have just started dating to a college bar where they are having a catholic school girl costume night and try to have a conversation.To many ways to yourself in trouble with your eyes and comments about things around you.
 kingofaman
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 448
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/16/2007 9:24:11 PM
Traffic cones are Fun to carry home They also make great birthday gifts.


Once when i was married and had a step son i woke up at home with a huge hangover.
I force myself to open my eyes, and the first thing i see is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
I see my clothing in front of me all clean and ironed
I look around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. I take the aspirins and notice a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!"
So I go to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and
the morning newspaper.
Her son is also at the table, eating.
I ask what happened last night?"
Her son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.
Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave
yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."
Confused, I asked, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
Her son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the
bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said,
"Lady leave me alone! I m married!

Moral of the story:-

Self-induced hangover - $94.00 ,
Broken furniture $ 500.00 ,
Breakfast $ 20.00

Saying the Right Things While Drunk - PRICELESS
 sweetness_31
Joined: 4/14/2007
Msg: 449
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/17/2007 11:32:50 AM
I learnt that drunk sex and a hide-a-bed do not mix slipped off the top and landed face first on the bar at the top of the bed and broke my nose ..not fun at all, also learnt that Doctors really didn't want to hear about it in the ER either lol
 saddleupnow
Joined: 3/17/2007
Msg: 450
view profile
History
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/17/2007 4:41:38 PM
HOW ABOUT ANY THING THAT REQUIRES AN AMBULANCE TO BE ON STAND-BY AND LATER A FRIEND THAT IS NOT AS SMART AS YOU SAYS WHAT THE H@LL WERE YOU THINKING IS NOT A GOOD IDEA.
 rebaann
Joined: 5/6/2007
Msg: 451
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/17/2007 4:51:47 PM
That after the age of 30 you can no longer drink tequilla and beer in the same evening.
 kingofaman
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 452
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/17/2007 8:46:18 PM
GOOD BY FOURMS...PAID MY TAB LEFT A TIP AND GOING HOME TO THE ONE I LOVE........IT WAS FUN....BUT ...LOVE RULES.......KINGOFAMAN PEACE OUT
 angelnboots
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 456
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 1/26/2008 9:47:30 AM
How about not letting your best friend drink and letting HER open the truck door......

(i picked her up outa the bar ditch)
 codeegirl
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 457
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 1/27/2008 10:10:13 AM
It IS possible to fall out of one's wheelchair while being wheeled home by a less-drunk friend, who decides to duct tape you to your chair to hold you in.

Nurses can and will refuse to help you get to bed when you come back to the hospital tanked and reeking of petron.

Having a ride on your friend's lap (when he's equally drunk and in an electric wheelchair) and going 4X4'ing in construction sites at four AM gets messy

You get away with a HELL of a lot more being a woman in a wheelchair ;)
 marcia76
Joined: 2/14/2008
Msg: 458
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 2/21/2008 8:13:30 AM
When you walk into the broom closet at the bar instead of the bathroom it's time to go home.

When you're asked by the nice policeman if you have anything in your shoes, "just my socks" is NOT the proper answer!

Jager Bombs taste just like cough syrup, and no, they don't taste any better the more you have.

When your legs turn to jello after getting off the bar stool, you've had one too many Long Island Ice Teas.

Body surfing whitewater rapids is actually kinda fun! Stupid without a helmet... but fun!!!

Coors Light gives me gas the next day.

It's very hard to climb the steps up into a hot tub when they're wet and slippery and you can't see straight.

Calling you're married friends at 2am after they went home early (11pm) and asking "Are you f*&king?" is sure to earn you revenge in the future.

Demonstrating how you used to pitch a softball on a wooden deck after it's rained is not a smart idea, falling down hurts!
 oklacountrygirl
Joined: 9/21/2007
Msg: 460
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 3/9/2008 6:33:35 PM


or when you actually manage to make it home and THEN use your cell phone to call your friends! Thank GAWD they truly are your friends, 'cause when you call them the next day to apologize they are laughing their A&# off at all the S*** you said! They are more than happy to repeat it word for word!



Also, never to go to the bar without my TRUE friends and designated driver! learned that one the hard and embarassing way!

 countrypicker
Joined: 7/5/2005
Msg: 462
view profile
History
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/28/2008 2:43:49 PM
try the ones going in too.
 MountainDrew
Joined: 6/14/2006
Msg: 463
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/28/2008 8:15:53 PM
- Friends who are equally as drunk are not to be trusted

- don't walk to the corner store by yourself in a snowstorm

- you are louder than you think

- you actually are not walking straight. It is not your eyes that are wobbly.
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