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 bcbarman
Joined: 6/17/2005
Msg: 100
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....Page 25 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
ah yes, looking at the phone, seeing that its a client that could spent up to 6000 with your company and think "hey, I've only had a few, they were pretty cool, I can take this"

Client never called back.

As well, I learned that even thought I can spin a bottle really good sober, spinning someones bottle of tequila only results in everyone gettting tequila all over them, a smashed bottle and a bunch of pissed off friends. I do not "cocktail" bottles after more than one drink anymore.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 101
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/5/2006 2:02:01 PM
HA!! These are too funny.

Petron is not for beginners.
Sammy Hagar, whether drunk or not (him or me...LOL) is NOT hot in red scrubs.
Petron and stihlettos simply do not mix well.
Jagermeister and redbull in large quantities does not give you wings.
Texting, emailing and posting in forums after entirely too much Merlot might leave you grossly misunderstood.

Finally, Crown on a Saturday morning, leads to Crown in the afternoon which leads to gasoline/lighter fluid in the evening. What follows is a drunk June Cleaver in layers of clothing, hidden money, and a two day drunk followed by a four day hangover. BUT, the laundry is done, there is a freshly baked pie and the hardwood floors have never looked better. Did I call Merry Maids?
 bcbarman
Joined: 6/17/2005
Msg: 102
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/6/2006 12:38:29 AM
+1 to you Dave, its always the next biz day that it really sinks in, is'nt it
 ktstar
Joined: 6/3/2006
Msg: 103
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/9/2006 11:50:28 AM
Oh how I have enjoyed reading this forum. I shall now contribute my 2 cents.

Not to get naked in the car and then yell at people on the expressway with the window down.

Not to give rides on the 4 wheeler, and then when you fall off and get a free helicopter ride to the hospital, don't swear and yell like a sailor at the ER doctors cause you don't think your hurt and they have to let you up cause you have to go pee.

Strap down drunk riders in the car when your going 115 mph, then tend to pull the emergency brake thinking the are helping to slow the car down.

When dancing on the speakers at a club make sure you have a spotter, falling off sucks!

When sitting in the back of a cop car after being pulled over for a DUI, don't taunt the cop and tell him that you have driven home way more drunk then this.

Don't call your ex bf when your out on the town with your new bf, they tend to get mad.

Don't hit on girls in the bathroom and not expect them to try to take you home.

Running on an icy side walk is never a good idea.

Proclaiming to the world that you have a trucker mouth and that your damn proud of it.

Never let a stripper tell you that you could be a stripper too.(Glad I never have to go back to that city again).

I have many many more stories, sad to say that these lessons were learned first hand. Maybe I should stop drinking?
 bcbarman
Joined: 6/17/2005
Msg: 104
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/11/2006 2:43:30 PM
Have allready contributed to this one before, but saw a few good life lessons at this weekends wedding season:

-spinning and dancing will not sober you up, it just makes you drunk, tired and dehydrated

-That bartender is not your best buddy ever, he is the one that is getting paid to make your drink and take your money

-A quicky at a wedding is even more inappropriate then a quicky in a bar

-Anybody sober can be a bouncer to a drunk person

-End of reception drunk:expected
-End of Dinner Drink: OK
-End of ceremony drunk: frouned upon
-Begining of ceremony drunk: will cause you to walk up behind the bride and groom and do the cowboy finger guns (pow pow, big day, pow pow)

So sad, all this is true, and happend in one wedding. (do you hear the banjo's?)
 Outdoor2
Joined: 4/1/2006
Msg: 105
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/17/2006 12:18:26 AM
^^^ I never missed...I was gearing up for my eventual ceiling crawl...doing a little practice, so to speak.....
 KIWI3nme
Joined: 6/6/2006
Msg: 106
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/18/2006 3:32:16 PM
dont drink a pitcher of beer with a straw....

you really dont need to try every shooter on the tray....


when the bartender looks at you like yer insane as you order your second 151 shot thats a good indication its time to stop drinking...

dont get into a car with a pal who thinks its friggin hialrious to whip around corners to make fun of your drunken state....HUUURRRRLLLL......
 Jeopardy_Junkie
Joined: 11/23/2004
Msg: 107
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/18/2006 5:51:25 PM

that beer goggles really work.......


Until the morning you mean right???

I'm glad everyone is having so much fun with this thread!!!!

JJ

 Jeopardy_Junkie
Joined: 11/23/2004
Msg: 108
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/20/2006 7:48:25 PM
If you have to work the next day....set your alarm BEFORE you go out!!! When you are still sober!!!

JJ

 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 109
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/22/2006 9:51:38 PM
When someone asks you "Do I need to throw up????" Yes, they probably do.
 Jeopardy_Junkie
Joined: 11/23/2004
Msg: 110
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/10/2006 2:11:20 PM

TO..Remember when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown...BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and betch slap the mother Fer up side the head


Too f*cking funny!!!!

JJ

 screwydewy_69
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 111
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/12/2006 5:03:40 PM
how ugly women end up with kids.
 screwydewy_69
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 112
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/12/2006 5:14:30 PM
spagetti is one of the most interesting foods I have spilled out in the parking lot . there is nothing better then pulling noodles out of your nose
 _ITS_ALL_GOOD_
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 113
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/12/2006 5:38:36 PM

The true meaning of "coyote ugly".


With all due respect, you dont learn this until you have sobered up the next day.
 sass393
Joined: 2/20/2005
Msg: 114
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 12/6/2006 1:21:28 AM
It's impossible to find a key in the sand in the middle of the night while drunk.

It's next to impossible to find & chase a black dog after sharing a bottle of tequilla with 2 friends at 4am.

a real friend will help you clean up the vomit the next day.

 subtle_savage
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 115
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 12/14/2006 2:45:22 AM
^^^^

asking...oh, I'm a-asking
 Jeopardy_Junkie
Joined: 11/23/2004
Msg: 116
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 12/14/2006 7:34:23 AM
When you are on medication that says "Do not consume Alcohol with this Medication".....

DO NOT CONSUME ALCOHOL WITH THIS MEDICATION!!!!

JJ

 mark45424
Joined: 12/1/2005
Msg: 119
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 5/26/2007 2:10:42 AM
If you pass out at a bus stop on a busy main road, you will wake up to see:
1 firetruck
1 ambulance
2 police cars
a bunch of guys in uniform looking at you smiling,
and one EMT saying," hey, buddy, we got a report of a "dead man in a bus stop"...

and if you are nice to them they will help you find your friends apartment, which you couldn't find because you were too drunk to see, and decided to rest in the bus stop...

( the apartment was right behind the bus stop !!!)

 Strange Days
Joined: 10/18/2005
Msg: 120
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/8/2007 10:07:55 AM
"Dead is the drunkest you can get..."- The Rheostatics
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 121
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/13/2007 9:37:55 AM
Things I have learned while I was drunk-

The floor moves when I walk all by itself-
I should not walk anywhere except to my bedroom - I tend to get lost.
Drinking games are not my friends -
My friends exploit me-
Mexican food taste really bad the second time around-
Shots are for drinking not for throwing
Pizza taste really good at 2 o'clock in the morning
People in clubs stare
Watching Tv and the room spinning at the same time does not work out
There are alot of attractive men in this world
Flirting with the bartender only gets you banned and a phone number
I have problems with my vision
Laughter is not always the best medicine
The bathroom floor is amazingly always cool at any given time of the season
Do not play drinking games with your friends unless you absolutely understand the rules-
Five inch heels dont cut it-
A good breeze from off the ocean can mysteriously rip your clothes off-
which leads to finding out that sand is not your friend.
 saddleupnow
Joined: 3/17/2007
Msg: 122
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/17/2007 4:41:38 PM
HOW ABOUT ANY THING THAT REQUIRES AN AMBULANCE TO BE ON STAND-BY AND LATER A FRIEND THAT IS NOT AS SMART AS YOU SAYS WHAT THE H@LL WERE YOU THINKING IS NOT A GOOD IDEA.
 countrypicker
Joined: 7/5/2005
Msg: 123
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Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/28/2008 2:43:49 PM
try the ones going in too.
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