Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > humor  > Things I've learned while I was drunk....      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Outdoor2
Joined: 4/1/2006
Msg: 112
view profile
History
Things I've learned while I was drunk....Page 7 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
^^^ I never missed...I was gearing up for my eventual ceiling crawl...doing a little practice, so to speak.....
 KIWI3nme
Joined: 6/6/2006
Msg: 113
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/18/2006 3:32:16 PM
dont drink a pitcher of beer with a straw....

you really dont need to try every shooter on the tray....


when the bartender looks at you like yer insane as you order your second 151 shot thats a good indication its time to stop drinking...

dont get into a car with a pal who thinks its friggin hialrious to whip around corners to make fun of your drunken state....HUUURRRRLLLL......
 Jeopardy_Junkie
Joined: 11/23/2004
Msg: 114
view profile
History
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/18/2006 5:51:25 PM

that beer goggles really work.......


Until the morning you mean right???

I'm glad everyone is having so much fun with this thread!!!!

JJ

 Jeopardy_Junkie
Joined: 11/23/2004
Msg: 115
view profile
History
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/20/2006 7:48:25 PM
If you have to work the next day....set your alarm BEFORE you go out!!! When you are still sober!!!

JJ

 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 116
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/22/2006 9:51:38 PM
When someone asks you "Do I need to throw up????" Yes, they probably do.
 DevineDene
Joined: 10/12/2006
Msg: 117
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/10/2006 2:35:12 AM
Its not nice to convince your boyfriend that you really need that flag from the police station.
When parked up at the lookout/makeout view point, the bathroom is not towards all those pretty little lights. Then when you get home its very hard to convince Daddy your boyfriend did not beat you up, you just fell down a big hill and thats why he had to get the flag to cover your torn dress.
And finally 17 is not old enough to drink beer and Tequilla shooters.
 Jeopardy_Junkie
Joined: 11/23/2004
Msg: 118
view profile
History
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/10/2006 2:11:20 PM

TO..Remember when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown...BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and betch slap the mother Fer up side the head


Too f*cking funny!!!!

JJ

 screwydewy_69
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 119
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/12/2006 5:03:40 PM
how ugly women end up with kids.
 screwydewy_69
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 120
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/12/2006 5:14:30 PM
spagetti is one of the most interesting foods I have spilled out in the parking lot . there is nothing better then pulling noodles out of your nose
 _ITS_ALL_GOOD_
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 121
view profile
History
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/12/2006 5:38:36 PM

The true meaning of "coyote ugly".


With all due respect, you dont learn this until you have sobered up the next day.
 sass393
Joined: 2/20/2005
Msg: 122
view profile
History
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 12/6/2006 1:21:28 AM
It's impossible to find a key in the sand in the middle of the night while drunk.

It's next to impossible to find & chase a black dog after sharing a bottle of tequilla with 2 friends at 4am.

a real friend will help you clean up the vomit the next day.

 subtle_savage
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 123
view profile
History
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 12/14/2006 2:45:22 AM
^^^^

asking...oh, I'm a-asking
 Jeopardy_Junkie
Joined: 11/23/2004
Msg: 124
view profile
History
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 12/14/2006 7:34:23 AM
When you are on medication that says "Do not consume Alcohol with this Medication".....

DO NOT CONSUME ALCOHOL WITH THIS MEDICATION!!!!

JJ

 NinaPriscilla
Joined: 10/15/2006
Msg: 125
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 12/17/2006 8:54:10 AM
NEVER EVER carry all the cash you have on you by the end of the night IT'S GONE

bouncers dont want you to hit on them

if you get into a bar fight, make sure your ACTUALLY HITTING the person

eating seafood + drinking vodka = bad times

running in heels IS NOT GOOD

riding on the hood of a car isnt a smart idea

NEVER try to have a 3sum w/ your best friend b/c you think she likes you
 slow_hand_001
Joined: 8/28/2006
Msg: 128
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 1/14/2007 6:21:11 PM
Whatever you do.....DO NOT COOK. If Taco Bell is closed, swing by the supermarket for a microwaveable meal.

Many years ago, I decided to make some chicken after a night of boozing. My chosen method was to boil the chicken till it was cooked then season it and bake it to crispness. I consider myself quite the chef. Indeed I am on emerils speed dial....anyway... during the boil I fell asleep and all the water evaporated. Now it was just chicken on a dry pot. Emeril would frown on this type of thing. This must have gone on for quite a while. Next thing I know there is an anoying alarm ( thank god for smoke detectors ) and my chest seemed to be on fire. I woke up and my apartment was completely engulfed in smoke. Could not see even a few inches in fron of me. I quickly removed the pot and opened my windows. I covered myself with a blanket and fell back to sleep. In my boozed state I did not consider smoke inhalation a dangerous thing. Next thing I know someone is tapping my shoulder. I open my eyes and the first thing I see is an axe. I thought that a murderer was in my apartment ready to dismember me and add me to his shrine. I started looking for a way to defend myself then realized it was the fire department. One of my dastardly neighbours had called in the massive smoke coming out of my windows. I was ordered out without being alowed to put on anything ( I was in my underwear ). My apartment building had been evacuated and my lovely neighbours clapped and hoorayed seeing that I was alive. Some of them by their looks had been secretly hoping I had suffered the same fate as Lot's wife. It was middle of winter and there was massive shrinkage standing out there in my underwear. Some of my neighbours never forgave me for making them stand out there at 4 in the morning in the middle of a Nebraska Winter.
 ramong941
Joined: 4/23/2007
Msg: 129
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 5/5/2007 12:22:05 AM
-Dont get confortable when you lay on the floor because you will fall asleep.
-Dont tell someone to only let you drink x number of shots and then get pissed cuz they wont let you drink anymore, just as you said
-Swimming isnt a good idea.
 mark45424
Joined: 12/1/2005
Msg: 130
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 5/26/2007 2:10:42 AM
If you pass out at a bus stop on a busy main road, you will wake up to see:
1 firetruck
1 ambulance
2 police cars
a bunch of guys in uniform looking at you smiling,
and one EMT saying," hey, buddy, we got a report of a "dead man in a bus stop"...

and if you are nice to them they will help you find your friends apartment, which you couldn't find because you were too drunk to see, and decided to rest in the bus stop...

( the apartment was right behind the bus stop !!!)

 Funniegurl
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 131
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 5/26/2007 7:17:20 AM
Just what I needed a great laugh to start my day...

I've learned that absolutely everything is dangerous when you're drunk!
 Strange Days
Joined: 10/18/2005
Msg: 132
view profile
History
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/8/2007 10:07:55 AM
"Dead is the drunkest you can get..."- The Rheostatics
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 133
view profile
History
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/13/2007 9:37:55 AM
Things I have learned while I was drunk-

The floor moves when I walk all by itself-
I should not walk anywhere except to my bedroom - I tend to get lost.
Drinking games are not my friends -
My friends exploit me-
Mexican food taste really bad the second time around-
Shots are for drinking not for throwing
Pizza taste really good at 2 o'clock in the morning
People in clubs stare
Watching Tv and the room spinning at the same time does not work out
There are alot of attractive men in this world
Flirting with the bartender only gets you banned and a phone number
I have problems with my vision
Laughter is not always the best medicine
The bathroom floor is amazingly always cool at any given time of the season
Do not play drinking games with your friends unless you absolutely understand the rules-
Five inch heels dont cut it-
A good breeze from off the ocean can mysteriously rip your clothes off-
which leads to finding out that sand is not your friend.
 London Lass 59
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 134
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/13/2007 9:43:18 PM
Things I have learnt when I am drunk......Do not start an IV, do not draw blood, do not do CPR, do not operate any electrical machinery ie defibrillator, do not pass go, coz if you do you will fall down!!! lol
 saddleupnow
Joined: 3/17/2007
Msg: 135
view profile
History
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 6/17/2007 4:41:38 PM
HOW ABOUT ANY THING THAT REQUIRES AN AMBULANCE TO BE ON STAND-BY AND LATER A FRIEND THAT IS NOT AS SMART AS YOU SAYS WHAT THE H@LL WERE YOU THINKING IS NOT A GOOD IDEA.
 countrypicker
Joined: 7/5/2005
Msg: 136
view profile
History
Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 11/28/2008 2:43:49 PM
try the ones going in too.
Show ALL Forums  > humor  > Things I've learned while I was drunk....