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 AnthonyJ
Joined: 11/17/2004
Msg: 118
Beauty in the eye of the beholderPage 6 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
I agree. I don't find Uma Thurman or Gwyneth Paltrow all THAT attractive, but alot of guys I know think they are bombshells. Or even Camren Diaz. Those girls are considered very pretty by alot of people, but to me they are so so. Now, Eva Mendez, Leah Remini(King of Queens) and Salma Hayek - WHOAH! Those girls float my boat like nobody. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That's why I kind of chuckle to myself when I hear someone label someone else as being pretty or ugly and they say it as if their opinions are absolute. Each individual is different.
 Little Lady
Joined: 4/2/2005
Msg: 120
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 1/23/2006 12:31:26 AM
It shocks and saddens me. I started reading this thread (can't sleep) and I was supprised at what I was reading in many ways. The tender beauty that I can see on the internet???

I had to open your profile, looked just at your picture and saw such tender beauty. I can not figure how a man would not say that you are beautiful. There are a lot of beautiful people on this site, and a lot of kind people on this site. But to have both the tender and beauty shine through on the internet is a rare thing that I treasure.

I do not mean to sound mushy, just damn honest.
 Little Lady
Joined: 4/2/2005
Msg: 122
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 1/23/2006 2:16:49 AM
I had/have a mother that years ago was a very beautiful woman. Through the years her insides became her outside. After two face lifts (never should have been needed) her looks just kept deteriating so badly. She could not understand why, I am so sorry to say I understood. Her inside became her outside and no doctor could fix what was inside of her.

I say I had/have, she is very much alive. But in my life I choose who to allow to be unkind to me. I have a choice to open a door, go in a room and be abused or to just stay away.

I choose who I am with therefore I choose how I am treated. We all have to remember it is in our control even if it is so difficult to walk away from family or friends.

You my dear lady, are beautiful and I could only wish, and I mean wish hard, that my mother was able to keep her beauty as you have done.
 DnickieD
Joined: 5/30/2005
Msg: 124
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 1/23/2006 5:38:04 AM
My heartfelt condolences and prayers, dear Lady on the passing of your beloved father.


I know how you feel right now, because my own dad was my main source of support, growing up in a household of 3 sisters and mom. They picked my self esteem apart because they were smaller than I was, and he would tell them to leave me alone, I was fine the way I was. The school children were even more cruel and it was so bad that they even made me think I was so fugly that I would overeat. It wasn't till my dad passed that I lost his support and kind words. I went on a starvation diet, and suddenly started having more men notice me in my 20's. My sisters and mom had beat my self esteem into the ground, so I found men that would try to bring that back up, but it was so ingrained in my mind that I felt unattractive still. I hit a stumbling block when I met and lived with an abusive jealous man over 10 years ago. He too tore me down, and when we split, I went back to my own destructive behaviour, so he wouldn't try to come back. Till 2004, I hadn't wanted to go out of my comfort zone, to meet anyone. It's been an amazing experience to meet so many people that would tell me that I was beautiful. I think we're all a work in progress, and we all try to improve on what God gave us, except my X. He's gotten fuglier in the last 10 years, because of the way he treats people and his fugly attitude towards life in general. It's even affecting his health too.

So yes dear Lady, if you love yourself and see yourself as beautiful, believe it, you are. Others will perceive it as well, and so will your love of your life. If others try to say you're not, get away from them. They don't love themselves period and will try to bring you down with them. As was mentioned ealier on the first page, that when he took the time to get to know a lady, he saw her as beautiful, whereas his friends did not. I feel that would be key in finding someone that is truly the one you're were meant to love and cherish.

I wish y'all the best, especially Lady and M.
 lulubelles
Joined: 2/9/2006
Msg: 127
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 3/20/2006 7:45:21 PM
Here, Here. Northwind
 love123
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 128
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 4/3/2006 10:21:43 AM
Well my lady,

How are things? My neice just brought to my attention POF Speed Dating events

Next one in Waterloo...I go to local POF dances and events. I have found I just have to have my emotions balance me after coffee dates etc and sit back and see where friendship goes. Even online friendships. I am new as of Nov/05...controlling..self esteem went down..my side of the street is' I let the sultle control get worse....suggested counselor..to show us how to treat one another..but he said we're not going to counseling so you can get the use of the car back..that was one of the last straws...................but this butterfly underneath, I remember the strong athletic 17 year old woman I was; and still attend and taught water aerobics. I buy local theater events and get out to movies myself...I just sit in car window down with sun to rejuvenate me and tunes playing...kicking my feet out the window; talk to everyone, parking lot, grocery store...pool, the more encounters in life..the more alive I feel...a part of...I was debating to take a glass blowing class $495; "classes" promote company and inter action, fun....I also sing alto in choir, another family and read bible at breakfast to my 17 yr old and send e-mails to my 22 yr old, including neat affirming verses..There is change and if we start liking changes and go for things...we'll bounce back and thrive...Best of luck gal ladypagey
 Mesnafugal
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 130
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 4/5/2006 9:02:07 PM
^^^^ BritPrince.... You are so good with words. I'm so glad you came over and have joined in, I think you will have alot to offer in all your wisdom. YOU as Ladypagey are very special people with wonderful kind hearts. I only wish more people could see the beauty within a person and not just look on the outside.
 Mesnafugal
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 133
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 4/5/2006 11:09:06 PM
Oh.. Lady... you didn't break anything when you fell did you??? I wish I were closer to you I would come help you. You are allowed to take a break from here once in awhile but your kinds words mean alot to us all.
 chauntra
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 143
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 4/8/2006 7:20:29 AM
I would honestly like to think beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I thought I found someone who felt that way about me.....and he did, but 2 other women also lol. Anyway, I think if more people honestly looked at the inside instead of the outside, they would find the most beautiful women in the world under the surface.
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 144
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 4/8/2006 10:07:45 AM
Its the "she has this something" thing you can't explain. Ever felt that? For every man, there's a special woman. A woman that inspires you with her beauty, with her actions, with the way she makes you feel. Its a matter of sensitivity, I guess. If a man has the eyes, the heart and the sensitivity, he will bring out the beauty in a woman naturally, because he feels it.
 chauntra
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 145
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 4/20/2006 2:54:36 AM
Jack and Filmmaker......I feel you 2 gentlemen have the right view. In todays society, beauty is based on the outside. Everyone has to be tall, thin, shapely, radiating. I am all that, but I keep it well covered to protect it The man who takes a chance with me will find the beauty on the inside, along with intelligence, and a good sense of humor. But alas, the outside is currently under construction
 Mesnafugal
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 146
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 4/20/2006 3:07:08 AM
^^^ the same with me.... men will just miss out on a really neat person if they are just looking at my "protective" coating.. LOL Their loss not mine.
 Ratero-park-man
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 147
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 4/20/2006 6:49:10 AM
Beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. I don't like it when teh media and society and stuff try to influence our perception of what is beautiful and "ugly". Thats why so many people views on beauty and "ugliness" are so perverted.

Everyone is beautiful in their own special way and that should be know and understood that societies "vision" or "idea" of beauty should NOT effect our decisions and views of how we judge others on it.
 Bk2
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 148
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 4/20/2006 9:19:34 AM
Ladypagey,

Of course he loved you for your whole package!

So many people are unable to express themselves in a poetic way.......look back on the positive......seems he tripped up....

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder -we see the true person that makes us feel the way we do

A persons physical attractiveness is augmented when they are talented, liked, and respected...etc....

Good luck in finding that beautiful person suited for you....

0:)
 Bk2
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 150
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 4/20/2006 10:41:32 PM
Now if I was to pick the reply to go by.....I would have to recommend
Jeweles...loving the person within is what it is all about.....

Very nice Jeweles......let me count thy ways.....0:)

Be happy!

 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 151
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 4/20/2006 10:59:21 PM
"Beautiful" is highly overrated. I've generally been catagorized as cute. That's perfectly fine with me. I'd much rather be cute and intelligent than beautiful anyday. He probably saw so many other qualities in you that maybe he overlooked exterior beauty. Regardless, the fact that you still think about that single conversation speaks volumes. My son's sperm donor (yes, he's a real person...but did nothing more than that!) said something to me 23 years ago that rings in my ears all the time "You are so pretty.....BUT...." I was overweight at the time. To this day ~ I'm a slave to the scale. How silly is that ??? Unfortunately, sometimes saying something without thinking, even one word ("no.") will stay with us much longer than all of the wonderful things we hear. I've had to replace his nasty comment with positive ones I've heard over the years. I truly think, your husband probably answered in haste and without much thought...that's ok, because in the end, he loved you anyway!!!
 rahowa
Joined: 4/20/2006
Msg: 152
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 4/20/2006 11:12:22 PM
who is the beholder? is the beholder one that ultimately judges and decides your fate? if he is human, then no. if he is god, then worry about whether you are beautiful in the eye of the beholder...
 sayonara7
Joined: 3/13/2006
Msg: 155
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 5/14/2006 9:15:44 PM
I definately agree with that statement.I think Brad Pitt is an ugly guy.But more than half the world thinks he is hot.So go figure.
 brock11
Joined: 8/6/2007
Msg: 163
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 8/22/2007 8:33:25 AM
I do agree that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. However there are some people who are generally considered to be attractive or unattractive by most other people.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 173
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 1/21/2012 9:25:41 PM

Beauty does lay way beyond the physical. It is in how you treat someone. The tender gestures , the radiation of care that reaches out and grabs you The caring words and never tossing mean words back at someone even tho the person deserves it.
what a wonderful thing to say...
 DL0607
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 174
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 1/21/2012 9:32:15 PM
Oh hun, I'm so sorry he said that to you. I've been there. My ex told me he wasn't attracted to me although he said he loved me. I didn't lie when I said I was attracted to him, I just didn't say it was his personality and not his body because unlike him, I didn't see how there could be any good in telling him how I felt about his physical appearance.

I NEVER forgot those words. :(
 Nathanwg
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 175
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Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 1/21/2012 9:35:56 PM
Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. One man's trash is another man's treasure.
 adora71
Joined: 2/8/2010
Msg: 176
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
Posted: 1/22/2012 12:36:21 AM
I know this may sound vain and I certainly haven't read all 23 pages of this thread.

I think beauty comes from within and it just spills out. I have been out before laughing with friends and feeling beautiful and harmonious with the world and some random man will come up and tell me how pretty I am. Other days, I don't feel great and I don't feel I look great. Nobody notices me. I have even had disparaging comments thrown my way when I was younger.

I think it is important to seek validation from yourself first. I know this sounds a bit flaky, but you have to look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful. Sometimes a husband or LTR doesn't even see their spouse anymore, let alone their beauty.

I think your hubbie was not intending to damage your self esteem--he probably just wanted you to know how much your other qualities meant to him. Don't take his words to heart.
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