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 missq4ever
Joined: 8/31/2005
Msg: 78
Pregnant girl threateningPage 3 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
He can lose his parental rights if he does certain things, i.e. neglects the child, abandons it.......


I'm 6 months pregnant and I feel that the father of my child has abandoned me... I haven't heard from him in a month though I've been trying to contact him. What should I do about this?
 brawnydog
Joined: 8/17/2005
Msg: 79
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:33:33 PM
I don't know how it works there......contact your local health department and they can tell you.
 HedonistDrifter
Joined: 7/23/2005
Msg: 84
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:41:16 PM
I'm 6 months pregnant and I feel that the father of my child has abandoned me... I haven't heard from him in a month though I've been trying to contact him. What should I do about this?

sounds like a good topic for a thread of its own....prolly in single parents or the Dating and love advice forums...
 SICutie
Joined: 6/8/2005
Msg: 85
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:42:59 PM
god who has had an easy life.

i was raised by a single father and had an absentee mother. my dad NEVER complained about the financial burden of three young girls and thank god he didn't. who knows what shape my sisters and i would be in. he showed up, he raised his kids he put braces on or teeth he educated us and he LOVED us. how can anyone put a price tag on that?

he made his mistake in having casual sex with someone who in all reality is still a child herself then wants to take the coward's way out. you're right, no one bargains on birth control failing but we all know it does. talk to your partners people!! sex is a huge responsibilty and we need to be careful about who we decide to share that with. it can kill you now for god's sake and isn't that worse than an unplanned pregnancy?

i'm not anti sex or anti abortion but he CHOSE who he had sex wit and she chose to have the baby. he made his bed so to speak now he has to lie in it. no sense in punishing the baby

shan - he wasn't forced to have sex with her. he made a mistake. mistakes often have consequences.

also, i apologize for any harsh words. that's typically not me. i just have a soft spot for cute and tiny babies
 SICutie
Joined: 6/8/2005
Msg: 88
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:50:04 PM
i agree pell, it's mind blowing. i'm thinking better sex ed classes are in order
 brawnydog
Joined: 8/17/2005
Msg: 89
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:55:29 PM
.........and better condoms
 SICutie
Joined: 6/8/2005
Msg: 91
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:03:25 PM
shan - she's got to be absolutely freaking crapping her pants right now. if she chooses to keep the baby she will be shouldering most of the emotional and financial burden. squrrly said the guy was broke and emotionally unstable. what has he got to offer?

actually i had the "what would you do if i got pregnant" discussion with my partner and we worked it out beforehand. always suggested. you may not get the answers you want but you'll at least know
 brawnydog
Joined: 8/17/2005
Msg: 93
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:06:36 PM

usually a nuetral party can get a better idea than someone involved


You can petition the court for a mediator here. That is after the child is born, though.
I don't know about pre-natal.
 SICutie
Joined: 6/8/2005
Msg: 96
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:12:02 PM
i wasn't being condescending i was merely stating a fact. if that fact doesn't work in your friend's favor that's no one's fault. humans are indeed humans and sex does indeed happen but humans were blessed with the ability to rationalize and think intelligently and not behave like animals

the young girl did make her choice but he chose her before she got pregnant. that was all him.

i desperately hope this girl has more on her mind than whether or not guys will want to get involved with her because she has a child. she's got a plateful already
 happydragon05
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 104
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:29:19 PM
Ahhh, what a tangled web we weave.
I just got on, read all the posts, & everyone has a valid point. (As well as opinions)
I have found myself in a situation similar, but I didn't threaten nor take it to the extreme.
As for "Baby Daddy," get some support; get counseling, don't stress over "Baby Mama."
Insist on you both going for some kind of help. As for the "cutting," cutting is a form of release. Instead of the pain inside with no expression or outlet- it gives the cutter some kind of control over their pain.<<< so I've been told by other cutters.
Yes, condoms break; birth control should not be assumed that either party would be responsible. As a woman- I have always assumed that it's my body and my responsibility.
I once had a very wise biology teacher who would have daily quotes before class started.
One morning, he said this: "It's easier to become a daddy than it is to become a man."
I took that one to heart. My heart goes out to all parties. And as a friend, Squirrly; you're awesome for at least trying to make some headway for your friend.

Truly, the child will be the one to suffer if it's parents cannot be mature enough to stop with the animosity and put aside their differences and handle what must be done.
Going through your first pregnancy alone is tough; been there, done that.
Daddys have a tendency to "freak out" when they realize that there is more to life than playing bumblebee- pollenating all the flowers. But, the true joy will be- should this happen- look beyond the b.s. and accept that there is lovely child that will be born and it could be the one thing that makes both parents realize that they are blessed.
Just IMHO- Abortion is not a means of birth control; if you play the game- you know there are penalties when you don't follow the rules. As for myself: I truly believe what one does with their body- the choices & decisions they make? They answer to their own "higher force" when they leave this earth. I can't judge as it's not my place.
Okay- am getting off my soapbox and letting y'all have some fun with this.
Have a great day everybody, Play nice with the other children or no graham crackers & milk for ya....
 SICutie
Joined: 6/8/2005
Msg: 105
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:31:46 PM
it's patently clear that there are immature 38 year olds. this guy is one.

they BOTH made choices that put them where they are today. why is it so difficult to see that the only one that matters now is the baby?

good post happydragon
 HedonistDrifter
Joined: 7/23/2005
Msg: 107
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:46:58 PM
no, she did not make the choise to let it come to term. if she does nothing it will, therefore HE was the one trying to foice a certain choise on the situation.
doing nothing IS a choice...hell just getting out of bed in the morning is a choice...
 Passinthru
Joined: 2/3/2005
Msg: 110
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 3:11:45 PM

The minute two people engage in sex, they are basically engaging into a contract to take full responsiblity of the conseuqences that could result of said act.


Actually a key element in any contract (whether wriitten, implied or even aquiesced) is what is termed as "a meeting of the minds" whereby each party has the same understanding of the terms and obligations of the "agreement". Do you really think that's what happened here? I seriously doubt it since based on Squirrly's description both adults are, to put it kindly, off balance- at least for now.

Bottom line- Each and every decision we make has consequences and often times those consequences are unforeseen or foreseen but ruled out for various reasons (he wore a condom) but that in no way lessens our responsibility for our own actions nor does it empower us over the freewill of others....

He will deal with the consequences as will she. Hopefully they can get their stuff together for the sake of the child that's about to enter this world.
 bobops
Joined: 6/19/2005
Msg: 111
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 3:33:37 PM
having sex is the easy part. stepping up to the plate and being a MAN is the hard part. if he is a man, he will forget about his own needs and focus on the child. if he is not a man then he will run away from it. this child did not have a choice in this but the child has the right to be loved and taken care of. when i got divorced i spent every dime i had, gave up any personal life i had, and spent 2 years in court to get custody of my 3 kids because they would have not been safe with my ex. I didnt think twice about it, and now i am dedicating my life to taking care of them, loving them, and making sure they get what they need so that they can live happy and productive lifes. i made them, im not going to turn my back on them. Children are the most precious thing we have in our future, if he cant or wont take care of them there are people out there that will but he shouldnt turn his back on this child. i also think it is unfair to "blame" her for this. she didnt set him up, he had sex willingly, whether or not she is willing to have an abortion is a consiquence he should have thought of and now has to deal with.
 Bendilin
Joined: 5/6/2005
Msg: 112
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 3:44:22 PM
I'm sorry, but that girl deserves a punch in the ovaries. She screwed up and made the decision to keep the child on her own, so she should have to raise the child alone, unless she finds a guy who would want to raise the child with her.
 bobops
Joined: 6/19/2005
Msg: 113
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 4:01:33 PM
WRONG!! you have got alot of growing up to do! when "he" made the decision to have sex with her, he knew what could happen! know he has to deal with it. but you know what, know matter what anyones opinion about this is, know matter what anyones views on abortion are. if she has the child and it is his, then things will be clear for him. he will only have 2 choices then. he will choose to do the right thing and pay support, or he will choose to become a resident of the county!!!!!
 NittanyLion
Joined: 2/19/2005
Msg: 116
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 5:23:00 PM
In the US, you can't simply relinquish parental rights, for a number of reasons. But that's already been discussed.

I just wanted to point out that the poster who suggested such a thing was from Texas, while the OP was from Canada. We shouldn't assume that the two systems are the same at all, whether it's re: parental rights, child support, or anything else.
 sledracer
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 117
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 5:40:01 PM
you play around in the kitchen long enough you will eventually get burnt all I can say to bad so sad for him be a man and take the responsibility of a father he made the decision to have sex with the young lady so now its time to step up second of all to say punch her in the gut and get an abortion morons the child to be born didnt ask for the situation so why should it pay for it you idiots should think about what you say that could have been your father or mother making the same decisions to abort and you wouldnt be on this planet
 Pandy
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 118
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 6:06:10 PM
Personally, I don't think that a potential father should have any control over what a woman does or does not do with her body... BUT, I also think that it's completely unfair that a mother can sign over parental rights at will (by putting a baby up for adoption) but a father can't. That seems intrinsically unfair to me.

I also think it's wrong that he is being harassed by this woman and her family. If they want to use the system to make him pay financial support, fine....but if he doesn't want to be part of this child's life, he shouldn't be harassed into doing so. How is that going to be a positive thing for this kid?

Facts are, he contributed to the creation of this baby...the mother's failure to terminate the pregancy does NOT negate that in any way. He is responsible (at least halfway) for the welfare of this child.

The guy in question? If he's contemplating suicide, he's a selfish ass....regardless of his intentions toward this baby. People who kill themselves (or attempt it) are self-absorbed idiots who care nothing for the pain and suffering that they leave behind.
 jeanc200358
Joined: 4/21/2005
Msg: 119
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 6:09:29 PM
Get a second job.

"WRONG!! you have got alot of growing up to do! when "he" made the decision to have sex with her, he knew what could happen! know he has to deal with it. but you know what, know matter what anyones opinion about this is, know matter what anyones views on abortion are. if she has the child and it is his, then things will be clear for him. he will only have 2 choices then. he will choose to do the right thing and pay support, or he will choose to become a resident of the county!!!!!"

It sure is refreshing to see that there is at least one man with an attitude like this one has. Thanks for restoring a bit of my faith in your gender, sir. (And to the other men with similar things to say).
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 120
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 6:11:55 PM
Boy I'm wading into this one carefully and yes I DID read...but isn't the responsibility for birth control IE prevention, the responsibility of BOTH parties?? Don't throw things, please but I realize that it's mainly left up to the woman but guys have to maybe think and feel comfortable or realize the potential liability before they get involved?? Yes, I realize the women can lie, and say they're on the pill and if you get caught in that scenario, well that's another thread. But it's two people involved here and two people who BOTH have options. Maybe I'm just too diligent about being hyper or over prepared if that's possible. But birth control, if that's a part of it, should be discussed and used by both parties...yeah I know. The discussed part is the kicker....
 jeanc200358
Joined: 4/21/2005
Msg: 121
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 6:16:25 PM
"Boy I'm wading into this one carefully and yes I DID read...but isn't the responsibility for birth control IE prevention, the responsibility of BOTH parties?? Don't throw things, please but I realize that it's mainly left up to the woman but guys have to maybe think and feel comfortable or realize the potential liability before they get involved?? Yes, I realize the women can lie, and say they're on the pill and if you get caught in that scenario, well that's another thread. But it's two people involved here and two people who BOTH have options. Maybe I'm just too diligent about being hyper or over prepared if that's possible. But birth control, if that's a part of it, should be discussed and used by both parties...yeah I know. The discussed part is the kicker...."

Good point,except I believe that if a man wants to be absolutely sure he doesn't father a child, then he needs to take responsibility for that. Industrial-strength double-sided, reinforced steel condoms if necessary. Vasectomy. Whatever it takes. He should not take the woman's word for it if she tells him she's on the pill, etc., any more than she should take his word for it that's he's sterile or whatever.
 twinsfan608
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 123
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 6:32:16 PM
I know that this is NOT how the world works but it's how I work:
Contraceptives or not you run the risk of possibly bringing a child into the world.So if you're willing to take responsibilty for it GREAT!!! If you're not willing then don't have sex.
Bottom line: You reap what you sow. Stand up and be a man!
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 127
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 6:36:25 PM
jeanc If a man's made that somewhat "permanent" decision, then yes, you're right. I hadn't even thought of that, good point!!
 Bendilin
Joined: 5/6/2005
Msg: 128
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 9/7/2005 7:43:56 PM

Personally, I don't think that a potential father should have any control over what a woman does or does not do with her body... BUT, I also think that it's completely unfair that a mother can sign over parental rights at will (by putting a baby up for adoption) but a father can't. That seems intrinsically unfair to me.

I also think it's wrong that he is being harassed by this woman and her family. If they want to use the system to make him pay financial support, fine....but if he doesn't want to be part of this child's life, he shouldn't be harassed into doing so. How is that going to be a positive thing for this kid?

Facts are, he contributed to the creation of this baby...the mother's failure to terminate the pregancy does NOT negate that in any way. He is responsible (at least halfway) for the welfare of this child.

The guy in question? If he's contemplating suicide, he's a selfish ass....regardless of his intentions toward this baby. People who kill themselves (or attempt it) are self-absorbed idiots who care nothing for the pain and suffering that they leave behind.


Agreed 100%, except that he's responsible half way. He did everything he was able to do to prevent having a child besides getting his bits clipped. The woman, however, decided to have and keep the child. It's almost like adopting a child, and then trying to have the kid's parents pay for child support in my eyes.
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