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Joined: 11/4/2008
Msg: 254
Pregnant girl threateningPage 6 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
Owning a uterus should NEVER give you more rights than the Male counterpart ! Why have the child , if you knew before hand u would have no support , she decided to stay away from him , until nothing could be done , making his wishes impossibl .... ? wreckless behaviour on both their parts .... but the final say should be mutal .... and if the 2 people involved cannot resolve it , then by all means let the courts decide .

Joined: 1/26/2009
Msg: 255
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/30/2009 11:17:12 AM
I think the woman carrying the burden of a really painful experience more painful then any male will more then likely never experience gives the woman every damn right to make that descion. All we do is just stick it and pass out afterwards its the woman that does the actual baking.
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 256
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/30/2009 11:21:02 AM
[Some people are talking about this type of situation in general.........not just the 38yr old tool that couldn't keep his pecker away from a 20 yr old little girl. The forums are to talk about there a time limit on unwanted pregnancies?]

I understand all that, but it's pointless to respond to the OP in situations like this - nobody is listening. That person is not even involved in the discussion anymore. Just a bunch of people spouting their opinion about an old topic with forever relevance.

Yeah, I think 38+ yr old guys dating 20 somethings is reprehensible. I also think 20 somethings dating 38+ old guys is equally reprehensible. No good comes from it... and now a poor child is stuck in what I know from experience (not mine thank God and sterility) is going to be a long life of tug-o-war between two immature sexually active idiots!
Joined: 11/4/2008
Msg: 257
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/30/2009 11:27:32 AM
Try passing a kidney stone thru ur penis ... very painfull , again owning a uterus should NEVER give a female more rights than a male in a relationship .... 50 - 50 is just that equal , the decision should be made by both parties , i will however agree ,, he had no buisiness messing with a 20 yr old girl ... and children should never be thought of as a burden ..... why bring a child into the world that is not FULLY wanted , by both parents ...... !
Joined: 11/4/2008
Msg: 259
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/30/2009 11:38:32 AM
Scott let me buy u a beer !!! im not a heartless **stard ,, i agree a 20 yr old girl left in dire straits is shytty ,,,, But being a Man should Never negate ones rights ! and i do not care if the post was from 1999 ,,, its the issue of having another person wishes being forced upon the other party without a say that pisses me off !
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 261
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/30/2009 12:10:38 PM

WOW , she knew that he wanted no kids ,,, by ignoring his requests to terminate the pregnancy ... she should take all resposibility including financial , they had sex , and used a condom to prevent pregnancy .... so they both planned NOT to procreate by using protection .... whats changed ..... ?? now she decides she wants the child ,,,,,, thats her decision , so she wants the child , she raises the child and pays for it ,,, why is the request of the man ignored .... yet expected to " ante " up !!! with monitary support . He should ignore her , just as she ignored his wishes not to have the child !!!!

Fortunately, (or unfortunately depending on your perspective) the law doesn't side with that opinion, and legally he *WILL* be liable for child support if it is his. Men should be fully aware of this reality BEFORE choosing to have sex with someone. You may not like it, but that's the way things are. It should make one re-think "no strings attached" sex - women carry the babies and there is ALWAYS the potentiol for a very big string to be attached.
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 263
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/30/2009 1:04:51 PM
I think the solution is to sign a contract and have it notarized before hopping into bed.
Mine would be something along the lines of :
I certify that I am on a daily regiment of oral contraceptives. In the event that intercourse occurs, a condom must be worn at all times.
If the condom breaks, I agree to begin Plan B. If Plan B fails and pregnancy occurs, abortion will be excluded as an option and the choice between adoption and parenthood will be made jointly if possible. In the event that a mutual decision cannot be reached, the courts will make custodial arrangements"

I wonder how that would affect sexual relationships!

Oh, and boys above me...that's clever rationale, and it may work if you filed a law suit. However, child support and "pain and suffering" are hardly equals.
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 264
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/30/2009 1:16:31 PM
I've heard women describe passing a kidney stone as worse than having a baby. I guess it depends on the size of the stone or the baby.

As far as pain and suffering goes, I wonder how being murdered in your mother's womb compares to passing a kidney stone, or having a baby? I guess none of us will ever know. We didn't have to go through that either.
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 266
view profile
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/30/2009 2:17:58 PM
If the child is yours, get a second job. You played, you pay.
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 269
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/30/2009 7:11:51 PM

What does he do?

Learn from the experience.
Joined: 3/26/2006
Msg: 270
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/30/2009 8:21:21 PM
You are a perfect candidate for the Maury Show . Sign up now and get the test for free. They will even fly you out and put you up for a night .

But if it is yours you will have to step up to the plate
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 271
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/30/2009 8:44:00 PM
I totally agreee with you, kirota - if a guy wants to play around with someone 18 yrs younger then, oops!

Either get fixed or date women that are past child bearing years

Joined: 11/20/2008
Msg: 276
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/31/2009 2:28:19 AM
Find, beg and borrow enough money to live on for a while. Leave the country. Write a letter from Iran and enclose several pictured of you with a girl and her family. Tell her, you have a job in Iran, met a girl, and decided to make Iran your home.

She will write you back and ask about the baby. Write her back and enclose another picture of you and the girl and tell her that your responsibility is to the girl you are going to marry and live with in Iran.

She will name some other guy as the father, get married, or give the child up for adoption and then you can return to the states. Just make sure you avoid any contact with her and her family. I suggest you live 50 or miles away.
Joined: 11/20/2008
Msg: 277
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/31/2009 3:17:19 AM
Cubanguy I don't doubt that is possible, but in this case it sounds unlikely. She thinks he is not coming back, he was just barely scraping by so she can't expect much money. She would have to invest money to find him and he doesn't make enough money to make that worthwhile, especially thinking he is not coming back.

If he lives 50 miles away, it is highly unlikely she would ever see him or know he returned. And, even so, after a couple of years, she has moved on with her life and doesn't want to have to go to court and have a lot of drama with the new husband and father.

His biggest risk is if she names him on the birth certificate, decided to keep the baby, and collects welfare so the state puts him and his SSN on some kind of list. In that case, he needs to just pay the child support and tell himself that "Well at least I tried."
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 278
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/31/2009 6:11:41 AM
Hmmmmm.... I'm wondering if there's more to this story. Could this 38 yr old man be married? If not, I suggest he man up and do the right thing. Paternity tests can be done during the pregnancy and if he is low income, in some cases, the state will pay. If the child is his, perhaps he should start looking at this situation as a blessing. He now has the opportunity to be involved in his baby's upbringing. A lot of young girls might hide the pregnancy or not tell the father until years later.
 Ear to hear
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 279
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/31/2009 7:37:37 AM
Wanna dance?.....ya gotta pay the fiddler!
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 283
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/31/2009 4:04:35 PM

Oh, you mean I can't point out that *some* women are skanky, *some* women are lying, cheating whores, and *some* women are unscrupulous without that being degrading to *all* women?

Technically, the very use of the words "slut," "whore," and "skanky," can be insulting. Just another part of the degradation of female sexuality.
Not that I've never used the words in anger...
I think, if used at all, they suit women that are, as you say, unscrupulous in the way that they use sex.
But, yes, some women take offense that the words are used, period.
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 285
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/31/2009 4:18:14 PM

Let's face it, men have no rights. Keep in mind that if the man had decided he wanted his child, and the woman didn't she could kill his baby regardless of what the father wished. But if the man doesn't want a baby, and the woman does, he's ****ed.

I think saying that men have no rights is a bit of an over-exaggeration. Like I said before, you may not like it, but women carry the babies. With that fact of nature, things are unfortunately NOT equal and fair when it comes to men and women and all things related to babymaking. If things were fair, women would carry the baby for 4.5 months and the man would carry it for 4.5 months, they would both share in the pain of labor, and take turns for breastfeeding, or something else assanine like that. Life isn't fair.

But seriously, I agree with the other poster, if they both agreed they did not want kids, both used condoms as a precaution against having any kids, and then she suddenly chnages her mind after she gets pregnant? If she doesn't agree with abortion, and I certainly understand that I have pretty mixed feelings on it as well, then only good, moral thing to do is give the baby up for adoption. Forcing parenthood on someone is just wrong, it's not fair to the father, and it's not fair to the child.

You can't force parenthood on someone. If this man never wants to see his child or have anything to do with it's upbringing, he's completely free to do so. Financially though, he will be held responsible. Compared to the duties of raising a child for 18+ years (which is REAL parenthood), I'd say he's getting off pretty easy. Why on earth should this woman have to give up her own baby for adoption, that she obviously WANTS now just because this guy is an overgrown adolescent who obviously wasn't thoughtful enough to consider the ramifications of sex? That's ridiculous.

There are far too many ways in this world for unscrupulous women to screw men over, and they have the courts on their side. Look at Heather Mills and Paul McCartney. The judge even went on record saying she was uncoopoperative and seemed to be inconsistent and dishonest in her testimoy. But she still got millions of dollars. Lucky for Paul, he could afford it.

Excuse me if I don't cry too many tears for a multi-millionaire having to support his offspring while he lives in the lap of luxury.

There are far too many ways in this world for women to get screwed over as well. I don't really go around complaining about the fact that as a college educated woman, I make as much money as the average MAN who only graduated from high school. It's not really FAIR that women make $.75 for every dollar a man earns, but hey, that's life. I think the thing that really turns me off about your posts is the self-pitying tone. If you haven't learned by now that life isn't fair, it's high time you did. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and try to make the world a better place instead.

Until that changes, and it probably never will, men will just have to watch our backs and keep our wits about us...

No $hit! I think that's what most of us have been saying all along. Thinking twice before hitting the sack with a virtual stranger that you can't trust would be a good start!
 Lost and found78
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 286
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/31/2009 4:43:26 PM
I know 3 different male parents that have custody of their children and have never asked for child support. The mothers are all in the child's lives and take them on weekends.

IMO, a person should be responsible for the child's financial welfare when that person physically has the child. Joint custody should be set by the court, in most intances on an e/o week basis, with alternating holidays and vacations. If a person is not meeting their custody responsibilities the other parent should be able to seek reimbursement for instances in which the other parent was supposed to be legally responsible . When one parent chooses not to be in the child's life at all, he/she should be responsible for half of all expenses associated with the child. When one parent has custody of the child for weekends only, the other parent should take on the additional financial obligations associated with having possession of the child more often. This form of custody should not be awarded unless both parents agree to it, and it should include an agreement to take on additional financial responsibility. Exceptions do apply. If one parent says that they need support to pay for the child's needs while the child is in their possession, even though the other parent is able to take care of all financial obligations when the child is in their possession than the parent who is having trouble meeting their financial obligations is the one who needs to learn to accept responsibility.

I pay child support and let me explain how the current system works. I have my child every other week. I still pay child support because her mother makes less money than I do. When she is with me I pay for all expenses. I buy the majority of her clothes because her mother cannot afford it. I have tried to adjust the custody schedule in my favor and was denied, twice. So, her mother gets $300.00 a month from me, to pay her bills which happen to also allow her to provide basic things (shelter, utilities, food) for our daughter when she is there. I pay for all of the same things that she does, plus my daughters medical insurance, sports fees, school related expenses without any help from her mother . I would say the system is broken.
Joined: 4/5/2005
Msg: 289
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/31/2009 7:05:57 PM
Well Kiddo, is this day and age, you are screwed. Since you was out for a good time, that good time is gonna cost ya unless you can prove she "trapped" ya. It does not matter in the courts eyes if you can survive or not, sadly, this is very true. I hope the best for ya in your circumstances. Iffn ya wanna talk, E-mail me, will give ya some info.

Joined: 4/5/2005
Msg: 290
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/31/2009 7:06:20 PM
Well Kiddo, is this day and age, you are screwed. Since you was out for a good time, that good time is gonna cost ya unless you can prove she "trapped" ya. It does not matter in the courts eyes if you can survive or not, sadly, this is very true. I hope the best for ya in your circumstances. Iffn ya wanna talk, E-mail me, will give ya some info.

Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 291
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/31/2009 7:49:20 PM
Why are people responding to a post written in September 2005?
Joined: 6/2/2008
Msg: 292
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/31/2009 8:24:43 PM
When a man wants a 'sweet young thing' he needs to step up to the plate if he ends up getting another 'sweet young thing'.

I agree he should get a paternity test. If the child is really his he needs to help support it. If he doesn't want to be a father he shouldn't be in and out of the childs life. children should be protected emotionally and to have a daddy come and go is hard on them. If he wants to be a part of this childs life he needs to be consistent with his time with the child.
Joined: 11/20/2008
Msg: 294
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/31/2009 10:15:28 PM
Cubanguy in Msg 301 you make a strong case that men have few rights. However, men being forced to pay child support for out of wedlock children will not last long--perhaps another 50 or 100 years. It is an aberration. It did not occur throughout 99.998 percent of human history and it is not practiced in most of the world.

Most smart women are not unwed mothers. Only four percent of college graduate women have out of wedlock children. While, in the short run, enforced child support for out of wedlock mothers seem like a good thing, it the long term it is harmful to society because it encourages much more of it and daughters of unwed mothers are in turn unwed mothers.
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 295
Pregnant girl threatening
Posted: 1/31/2009 10:27:21 PM
Brilliantly said, cubanguy, not that it will have any effect on the majority of the women who post in this thread.

It doesn't have any effect, because it doesn't matter. It is what it is. Don't conceive, and there won't be any issues. That is YOUR reproductive right, because that's the only part your reproductive organs play.
I swear, people give their opinion on how to stop yourself from being screwed, but god FORBID it includes keeping your penis out of a vagina until you figure out how you'd handle and prevent a possible pregnancy. If you want to practice stupidity, then live with the consequences.
I like how some people put it - we, as women, GET to make a choice.
Have you ever had to make that choice? Raise a child alone, go through a painful abortion and live with the emotional and physical scars, or carry your child full term and then hand it over to strangers? Tell me...which one in the easy way? I'll tell you which one is the easy way...using proper birth control or waiting to have sex until you're in a proper position to have a child. The same goes for men.
And if you do have a child, why should the child suffer and not have his/her needs met because you didn't want it? Why should the child have a lower standard of living because his parent's decided to have an "intimate encounter" and were never actually together? Child support is for the CHILD, and no matter what that child is a part of you.
Thinking about the attitudes of some of the men in here towards what would be their potential children and supporting those children...
It makes me nauseous.

it the long term it is harmful to society because it encourages much more of it and daughters of unwed mothers are in turn unwed mothers.

Should this be prefaced by an "I think?" Or do you have something to support that? Yes, it's true that children of teenage mothers are more likely to be teenage mothers, but the psychology behind it has nothing to do with child support. Far from it, actually. Groups that have the highest "turn-around" rate are actually the least likely to receive any additional support from the fathers.
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